Okay I've finally found some time to write! I'm having some friends over tomorrow so I've been cleaning like crazy. I've loved all your awesome reviews, keep em coming! D It encourages me to write faster!

Enjoy!

PS: If I was meant to put in a disclaimer, I'm sorry, I didn't realize I was meant to.. so

DISCLAIMER: I don't own DeathNote or the characters, just the storyline!

X:X:X:

For once in his life, he felt alone.

The nightmares didn't stop throughout the whole night. Light woke abruptly, breathing heavily and his heart pounding; that nightmare had felt so real. He'd never been one to have bad dreams, there was no real reason to, he was a straight A student, he had a good decent family, everything about him was so close to perfect it was hardly believable. But now.. now was different.

Light sat up, feeling absolutely horrible. Not only after what those people had done to him, but the cold hard ground beneath him was chilling him to the bone, and the sunlight shining straight in his eyes was causing them to sting and water. Knowing he needed to move, he stumbled his way to his feet, using the wall beside him for support, and walked out into the busy street. He looked around, and saw he was only a little while away from L's apartment; he'd obviously somehow made his way back towards headquarters after seeing his parents.

As much as he was in a hell of a lot of pain, Light slowly made his way through the streets until he finally found the front door of headquarters, and walked inside.

I probably should do something about my clothes.. and also 'clean up' a bit too. I don't want to look suspicious Light thought to himself.

Once he'd decided that, he went to walk towards the bathrooms but ran straight into Matsuda who was apparently also going to the bathrooms. Matsuda gave a squeak of fright, then realized who it was, and let out another squeak, but this one of relief.

"Thank god Yagami-kun! Ryuzaki and your Dad were out looking for you all night! We gotta go let them know!! Come on!" Matsuda practically yelled, jumping around with excitement.

Before Light could even open his mouth, he was being dragged into the elevator, then found himself a few minutes later in front of the whole investigation team. He was shocked to see though that none of their laptops we're out, neither we're any of their research documents, and all of them had a frown on their faces, aside from L who was simply staring blankly at his own feet.

Apparently none of them had even noticed his entry, because no one even looked up until Matsuda started yelling at the top of his lungs.

"I FOUND HIM! I FOUND HIM I FOUND HIM I FOUND HIM!" Matsuda screamed, causing Light to cover his ears in disgust.

"For Christ sake Matsuda, DON'T YELL IN MY EAR!"

At that point though, everyone looked up to try and find the source of the noise, and upon seeing Light, all of them bar L jumped up and grabbed Light, and began yelling as well.

"Thank God! Light I thought we lost you!"

"It's good to have you back"

"We thought we'd done something and you'd run off!"

"Get off me!" Light yelled, trying to shove all the detectives off of him, with no luck whatsoever.

Starting to recall the events of last night, Light began to shake and yell even more so, finally getting the pesky men off of him and quickly walked into his and L's room, locking the door behind him.

Argh! For crying out loud I've already been touched enough as it is

Light then walked into the bathroom and closed the door behind him, trying to block out his memories.

Upon seeing Light storm out of the room, L finally looked up from his toes and watched as Light slammed the door behind him.

He then looked over towards Matsuda and the others, watching their faces contort into confusion as they too watched Light throw his 'temper tantrum'. They probably didn't think twice about why Light had acted like he did, but L had it in his mind that since he hadn't returned home last night, something must have happened to him.

So, acting on his thoughts, he walked to the bedroom, unlocked the door and stepped in, looking around. Seeing no Light, he walked past the bed and looked around again, this time scanning the whole room.

Again, no Light.

Knowing that the investigation would probably be forgotten for the rest of the day without Light, he sent the others home, giving them a day off. L then retraced his steps into the bedroom and knocked on the bathroom door.

"Light-kun? Are you okay?" he called through the door.

No reply.

"Light" L said, hoping to get a reaction if Light noticed the missing honorary.

Again, no reply.

Going with his gut, he left Light alone in the bathroom, and went back into the kitchen area and begun pulling ingredients out of his cupboard.

An hour later

Light stepped out of the shower, and grabbed a towel. He tied it tightly around his waist and walked out of the bathroom, making sure that L wasn't lurking in the corners of their room, but found that surprisingly, for one, L wasn't there, and as even more of a shock, there was a delicious smell coming from the kitchen. Forgetting he was only wearing a towel, Light walked into the kitchen to find L standing over a saucepan, apparently cooking Gyoza. He looked further past L and found a huge plate of Sushi sitting there, along with a bowl of Miso soup.

"Ryuzaki, what are you doing?"

L turned around and was given a huge shock. He dropped his spatula over the sight of Light in only a towel, still soaking wet, looking at him as if he'd just seen a ghost. He quickly regained his composure and picked up the spatula, going back to his cooking.

"I believe what I'm doing is quite obvious, Light-kun"

"Well yes, but you, cooking? I never thought I'd see the day" Light said, his voice dripping in mockery.

L didn't even bother replying. What was this? He'd just cooked Light dinner, without knowing anything about cooking, and he comes out here and is being all cocky?

"Yagami-kun." L stated bluntly.

"..What..?" Light replied nervously, feeling 'The Wrath of L' coming on very fast.

"I have cooked you dinner, I hope you enjoy it" L said coldly back, turning off all the appliances and leaving the kitchen.

"Wait! L-"

Light tried to follow L, only to have the door slammed in his face.

He begun to walk away from the door, then thought better of it and followed L into the bedroom, finding L sitting on the bed with his arms crossed and his eyes glazed over, looking at nothing in particular.

"L?"

No answer.

"L"

Again no answer.

"RYUZAKI!" Light screamed, his voice echoing in the small room.

"What do you want, Yagami-kun" L replied finally, making sure to add his usual icy tone in along with reverting back to 'Yagami-kun' rather than 'Light-kun'.

Light wasn't really expecting L to answer him, so he didn't think ahead about what he was going to say. He decided on just telling L the truth; he wasn't gonna go and tell everyone about it anyway.

"I wanted to apologize L. I'm sorry" Light said, actually meaning it for once.

I mean, how is he supposed to know what happened?

"Kira apologizes? How ironic" L replied coldly.

"L, for once, let your stupid desire for me to be Kira depart for a few minutes, AND LISTEN TO ME WOULD YOU?!"

"You have my attention"

"Look, the night we had sex wasn't just.. it wasn't just some THING we did.. Yes, you were drunk. And yes, I had a few drinks too. As much as you don't remember anything, I do. And I don't regret it. What I felt then was real. And it still is-"

"Light-kun…" L started, his voice barely a whisper.

"No, let me finish. What I felt that night was real.. and it still is. But that feeling isn't returned. I know that. That's why I ran off. Last night though.. something happened to me. Would you like to know what that is L?" Light questioned.

…

No reply.

L simply sat looking at Light dumbfounded, staring straight into his honey eyes, feeling his heartbeat speed up and his mind go in 2 opposite directions. His logic telling him it was a trap to lure him in; his feelings screaming at him to tell Light the truth. But he knew that he couldn't. Not when Light was Kira.. it just couldn't be.

"Well, to say it bluntly, I was raped and beaten, L" Light said, keeping his voice low, his eyes stinging, threatening to overflow with warm salty liquid.

"Light-kun.." L said again, not sure about which words to use, what to say to make things better.

"It's okay, Ryuzaki. I don't want or need your sympathy about what happened to me. But I want to know something." Light said slowly, picking his words so that none of it could be misinterpreted by L.

"I feel a lot for you, Ryuzaki. It confuses me, and I don't know how to control these feelings either. Before you, I didn't feel anything, but now, I'm overwhelmed with them. Confusion, anger, frustration, love, and so many more.. I always feel them around you. But can you tell me, is it the same for you?"

Light, for once, wasn't sure of L's answer. No witty comeback, no sarcastic remark, just a serious answer; and he didn't know what L would say. Would he say he felt the same? He hoped so. He really did.

But was that a reality, or simply a wish that Light was never to be granted?

L stood, facing Light directly.

"Light-kun. I believe actions speak louder than words.. but in this situation, I believe it is the opposite. I do not recall having any form of relationship with you, and that includes sexual; but I was also drunk, therefore I can't know for sure. But I do know something else.."

L trailed off, bringing his hands up to cup Light's face in his spindly fingers.

He gave Light a soft, dry kiss on the lips, then broke himself away from Light, dropping his hands.

"For as long as you are Kira, Light Yagami, I have no choice but to wish for your death; therefore I cannot love you, nor feel anything towards you."

L walked past Light and out of the room, slowly closing the door behind him.

Light's eyes glistened for a moment, then his cheeks were suddenly stained with previously unshed tears, Light falling to his knees and cupping his face in his hands, just as L had done only moments ago.

Gomenesai, Light Yagami. Aishiteru, nani ga temo.

But this was never meant to be.

:X:X:X:

Okay, well there's another chapter done! I actually had most of this written 2 days ago, but I had so much to do I couldn't post it.

Sorry guys for the lateness, and the shortness once again!

But, expect a MUCH longer chapter next time! It's a huge part!

PS: Thanks to everyone for the awesome reviews!!

See you next chapter!