It's that time again! How is everyone? Good... me too ;)

Thank you for every single review from last chapter. I had a bad week and you all made me smile! I replied to as many as I could, but read every one. Thank you!

I had a lot of complaints about the chapters being to short... thank you, because to me, it means you like my story enough to want more of it. I'm flattered, but I don't see them getting any longer right now. All the chapters of Fuggiasco will be between 3-5k. Between work, school, my other story and RL I just can't manage more than that. I'm Sorry.

Kimmcarr, Jessypt and Whatobsession17, you fit my little story in every week into your crazy busy schedules. Thank you so much. I appreciate every comment you make to help me improve.

WARNING!

This story contains subject matter which may be offensive to some readers. I will try to post a warning before each chapter if I feel there is a need, but the story in general deals with mature themes.

This chapter involves some sensitive themes, nothing graphic.

And I am short on words knowing what's occurred

Her bag is now much heavier

I wish that I could carry her

But this is our ungodly hour

-The Fray

EPOV - Day four in Forks

I'm woken up by someone knocking softly on the door. I'm a light sleeper, never knowing what could happen to me while I sleep, and the soft tapping wakes me up. I look at the clock and see it's only seven a.m. I don't know what anyone would want this early in the morning.

Bella is still completely knocked out. She lays on my chest oblivious to the situation; she's a heavy sleeper. Carefully, I move her so she doesn't wake up. It takes some effort, but I slip out of the bed and throw my pants and shirt on before answering the door. Esme stands on the other side of the door in the hallway. It's obvious she's just woken up. Her hair is a mess, and her face is make-up free. She's wearing a big, pink terry cloth robe and yawning.

"I'm so sorry to wake you, Edward," she whispers.

"It's alright. Is everything ok?" I ask.

"Yeah, I feel so bad. Yesterday was so crazy and I forgot to tell Bella her doctor's appointment was rescheduled to this morning. The doctor will be out of town next week."

My stomach drops. She isn't ready for that just yet. She's just trying to get through the dinner tonight with her friends before she has to face reality Monday.

"Can't she see someone else next week?" I ask.

I looking back to make sure Bella is still asleep. She is and even snores lightly. I step out and shut the door so we don't wake her.

"Well, she could, but Carlisle says this is the best doctor." She hesitates.

I look at her, waiting for her to continue. She opens her mouth a couple times but closes it.

"This doctor, well... she has experience helping girls that have been through similar... err, circumstances," she says, obviously having a hard time speaking about the details of Bella's past.

"Carlisle really trusts her and thinks she's the best person for Bella to see. I meant to talk with Bella about it last night, prepare her a little, and I just totally spaced it," she says, looking terribly guilty.

In this short amount of time, I've come to trust these people as much as I will be able to, and if they think this doctor is the best then I agree, Bella should see her. I'm just not sure how she will take the news.

"It's ok. I'll talk to her," I say, having no idea what exactly I'm going to say to Bella.

"Ok, we need to leave here in an hour. I'll be getting ready in my room if Bella wants to talk," she offers.

"Sorry again for waking you," she whispers, walking down the hall. I reassure her once again that it's no big deal and slip back into the room.

Bella has somehow managed to twist her entire body diagonally and is taking up the entire bed. I laugh to myself. She does the funniest stuff when she sleeps. As she's become more at peace, the sleep talking has slowed but she often wiggles, moves, and steals every blanket or pillow within a three foot radius of her.

I sit on the edge of the bed, not happy I have to wake her and tell her this unpleasant news. I lean over resting my elbows on my knees, rubbing my hands over my face trying to wake myself fully. With a groan I sit back against the headboard bringing Bella back to my chest.

She starts to stir and mumble. "Why do you have this on?" she asks sleepily, with her eyes closed, pulling on the front of my shirt.

I laugh a little at how she slurs her words like a drunk when she's tired.

"Wake up, Bella." I lean over and whisper in her ear.

"Why?" she asks, curling more into my side.

"We have to talk. Wake up, baby." I rub my hand up and down her back.

"Ugh," she groans, sitting up. Her hair is all smashed to one side, and she has pillow lines on the side of her face; she's still beautiful.

She brings her hands up and runs them over her face.

"Can you not sleep?" she asks, running her hands through my hair. She tries to pull me back down to lay on the bed. I want to give in and spend the morning with her in bed, but I know she needs to make it to this appointment.

"No, I can sleep, but Esme just came in and woke me up."

She wakes up a little more quickly, hearing my words. She stops rubbing my head and sits fully up.

"Esme? Why?"

Inhaling a deep breath I just spit it out.

"The doctor you were going to see on Monday is apparently going to be out of town. Your appointment was rescheduled for this morning, and Esme forgot to tell you," I say.

Her body immediately stiffens. She's rigid and stares straight ahead. If I didn't know her so well I would think she was just daydreaming, but I do know better. She's terrified. I don't like her silent reaction, so I continue on in hopes she'll talk.

"Esme said this is the best doctor you can see, and she has experience with girls... like you."

She's silent. I look over at her and her face has twisted into a look of... disgust and then I hear her scoff.

"Girls like me? What kind of girl am I, Edward?" she asks, looking at me. Tears are in her eyes, and pain is etched deep into her features.

"C'mon, Bella. I didn't mean... anything bad. Just girls who have been... hurt." My hands go to my hair; I tug hard. The second the words came out of my mouth I knew it was the wrong thing to say. "Bella," I say forcefully, trying to get her to look at me. She does.

"Bella, you know I didn't-"

"I know. I'm sorry... I'm just surprised and took it out on you... I'm sorry," she says softly, a tear escapes her eye and rolls slowly down her chin.

"It's fine. I know you're scared, but you know I would never say anything bad about you," I say, grabbing her hand.

Slowly, she melts into my side, leaving the spot she was rigid in, cold and empty. I stare at the indent in the sheet where she sat waiting for her to respond.

"I know you wouldn't," she whispers. She kisses my neck, and I relax. I know everything's ok.

"She said you guys have to leave in an hour, and if you want to talk to her she'd be in her room."

"You're not coming," she says, sitting up looking at me. It's a statement, not a question.

"I don't think they'd want me in there, Bella." I can just imagine how weird it would be for me to be in there. There are some things boyfriends just aren't meant to witness.

She rolls her eyes. "Not for that part," she says, blushing. I feel bad that I've embarrassed her.

"I just think they'll want to... talk, ask me questions..."

"And it would be easier for you if I was there," I finish for her. She nods biting her lip.

"Well, we better get ready then," I say, kissing her forehead. She smiles and hugs me.

She runs into the bathroom and after a minute I hear the shower start. I gently bang my head against the wall. Guilt consumes me, because, once again, I feel sick that it makes me happy she's so dependent on me.

It upsets me she's so damaged, but I won't lie. It would have upset me so much if she just happily went with Esme, not needing me anymore like she has needed me these past five months. All of this makes me an asshole.

After Bella's done in the bathroom, I shower and get ready quickly. With encouragement from me and Esme, Bella tearfully gets into the car. I can feel the fear rolling off of her.

The car ride over is fairly silent. Esme tries to get Bella to talk about how she's feeling and what she's nervous about, but Bella isn't really responding to her questions. Esme switches the topic of conversation to the dinner with Emmett and Alice tonight and that gets her to open up a little more, but not much.

We pull up to a building that doesn't look like a hospital, at all.

"Here?" Bella asks.

"Yes, Doctor Cope has her own practice. It's much more comfortable, not sterile or stuffy like a hospital," she explains, getting out of the car.

I follow behind Esme and the two of us stand outside the car; Bella does not. She sits in the car making no move to get out. After coaxing from both Esme and I, we get her into the building.

It's obvious this place is used to dealing with sensitive situations. Right when we walk through the door and check in, we're escorted to a small private room where no one can watch Bella fight her panic attack.

Bella grips my hand, acting like she doesn't even know Esme is with us. I can tell she's petrified. Tremors rip through her body at random intervals; she's terrified. I appreciate that Esme stays back and lets me comfort Bella. My arm is around her, and I'm whispering to her. I tell her everything will be alright, that I love her. She still shakes.

I don't care that we're in an office or that Esme is here with us. I do the one thing that always seems to calm her.

"Flowers," I whisper in her ear, rubbing her arm with my hand that's wrapped around her.

She tries to speak but is unable to. Esme brings her a glass of water. She drinks it and takes some deep, calming breaths.

"Fiori, flowers." It comes out barely audible, but the important thing is it still comes out.

I look around the room we're in for random item and a new word.

"Picture?"

Another tremor and deep breath. "Immagine, picture."

"Chair, as in, this chair is hurting my damn ass," I say, bumping her shoulder.

I can feel tension leave her body as she laughs, and even though Esme is trying to give us our space, I see her stifle a laugh as well.

"Sedia, chair... I'm so not translating the rest," she says with a tearful laugh.

Good enough for me, the shaking has stopped. I think too soon, and the shaking makes a comeback, I need to make her laugh again. I need to keep her mind off where she is.

"C'mon..." I say, getting very close to her ear. "Shit."

"No!" she says, laughing.

"What is it? We're adults." I defend my request.

I can see the wheels spinning. She's deciding whether or not she'll tell me.

"Oh, fine, but just this one," she laughs. "Merda. Now, don't ask anymore dirty words."

For a split second, she actually seems to forget where she is and looks happy. Then, the door that's keeping the three of us safe opens. We all stiffen as a nurse walks in the room.

"Bella, we're ready for you," she says sweetly, walking out, and expecting us to follow.

With no tears, she bravely stands. With Esme's hand on her shoulder and her hand in mine, we walk into the exam room.

~*E&B*~

I'm sitting on the Cullen's back deck drinking a beer I found in the fridge. They said to take what I wanted, and I wanted a beer. Today was stressful. I look over their property, and it's almost impossible not to relax. Green grass seems to go on forever until it hits a wall of forest. It's almost summer here, and the weather is pleasant. I lean back in my chair and let the sun hit my face, taking another deep drink of my beer - my third beer.

Bella's friends should be here in about an hour, and Bella is upstairs getting ready. I came outside to give her some time on her own. It was a hard day. Esme offered to postpone the dinner, but Bella is anxious to see her friends. The doctor's visit was... rough. It drained me, and I know it drained Bella.

The doctor was really nice and very careful with the questions she asked and how she treated Bella. It was obvious, like Esme had said, the doctor had experience with abused girls and knew exactly how to handle the situation. Even with Doctor Cope being so gentle, Bella still had a few panic attacks, and a couple of times the doctor and Esme left the room to let me calm her down.

I stepped out of the room while the doctor examined Bella physically. Esme had stayed, but it was still almost impossible for me to leave her, even for a second. I sat in the hall, refusing to go as far as the waiting room. Half way through, I could hear Bella crying. I didn't know what they were doing to her, but it took all my strength to keep my ass in the hallway. When Esme opened the door and told me to come back in, what I saw almost broke my heart and made my murderous rage for the fuckers who hurt her grow more than I ever thought it could.

Bella was sitting on the exam table in nothing but a paper robe and her little white ankle socks. Her face was stained with tears and bright red, and she was having a hard time breathing. While Bella cried on my shoulder, I clenched my fists trying to control my anger. I looked over at Esme. Her face was also stained with tears, and she was clutching a tissue, covering her mouth trying to stifle her cries. To say it was a miserable appointment is an understatement.

I lean over in my chair rubbing my face. It was painful for me to remember how horrible the day was for Bella. With that thought, I drain beer number three.

After all the exams were complete, the doctor put a rush on all her tests. In this shitty experience, we received one break - Bella was healthy overall. There were a few things that will need long-term work. Her ankle and wrist, which were both broken and never healed correctly, would need physical therapy. While hearing the list of injuries that didn't heal right, I stared straight ahead. With the level of rage I was feeling, I knew I would have lost my shit if I had opened my mouth. I mentally made a note of every broken bone and scar they went over - Alec would soon have a matching list.

The last thing that was discussed before we left was Bella's mental health. The clinic had special therapists who knew how to deal with backgrounds like Bella's. The doctor was much more tactful than I was, never using terms like I had that morning. 'Girls like you.' What was I thinking? I tried to listen closely to the doctor, so I could learn how to say things that aren't completely insulting.

I hate to admit Bella needs therapy, but she does. I hate the fact I'm not enough. She needs someone else to help her. It's just something I'll have to get over though.

When we arrived back at the Cullen's house, we all went to our respective rooms. Bella fell asleep, emotionally exhausted. While she slept, I planned out Alec's murder. Every detail of every type of torture I plan to inflict.

The back door opens, and a tired looking Esme comes out and sits next to me. She has a glass of wine in her hands and sets another cold beer in front of me.

"Oh, thanks," I say, opening the beer. I take a minute and look at the bottle, I didn't even bother to look at what I was drinking. There's no label.

"It's Emmett's; he brewed it. I don't like beer. Carlisle is the only one who drinks it. So, it's nice to have someone else around who appreciates it," she says with a soft smile.

I've had a shit day and want beer. I don't know if I appreciate any form of brewing skills, but I keep my opinion to myself. I look at her and see the day worn on her face. Her eyes are still rimmed in red, and her body looks tired, weighed down. She sags in her chair.

"I don't think either one of us wants to relive today... but I just wanted to say thank you. The way you calmed Bella down... how she trusts you, how patient you are. Thank you, Edward," she says.

I can feel her looking at me, but I don't look back at her. There's nothing to thank me for. I love her, and I don't want to sit and watch her in pain, simple as that.

"Next week will be hard." I look at her this time, not knowing what she's talking about.

"The police. We have to talk to them on Monday. They want to find this guy and need more details," she explains. Fuck, I just want all this to be done.

"I think today was the worst of it though." I hope she's right.

"I hope so," I say, taking a swig of my beer.

"I know you don't know us or trust us. I understand that, and you have no reason to. Bella loves you though, so I hope someday you'll let us get to know you better."

Again, I say nothing, there's nothing to say. Bella is the first person I have let in - in close to ten years - I'm not looking for a family to adopt me.

There's no chance for an awkward silence, because Bella and Carlisle join us on the deck. I get the urge to hide my bottle collection on the table, but don't - they can judge me if they'd like. I don't care. Bella sits next to me, and she looks better than I thought she would. She has her hair pulled back, and even though you can tell she's been crying, she looks rested from her nap. When she sits next to me I immediately pull her hand into my lap rubbing the back of it with my thumb.

"Oh, I see you like Emmett's beer. It will be nice to have someone to help me drink it," Carlisle says pleasantly.

"You're not twenty-one," Bella whispers to me. I laugh a little. I am - and even if I weren't I wouldn't give a shit. If underage drinking were the only thing on my shit-list, I'd be a saint.

"I am," I say, taking a long drink from the bottle. I feel Bella's hand stiffen in mine. I put the bottle down and look at her.

"You said you were twenty."

"I was twenty, I turned twenty-one the day before we left Portland," I say like it's no big deal, because it isn't. The look on Bella's face tells me something different though.

"It was your birthday, and you didn't even say anything?" she asks, looking a little hurt - why would she be hurt?

"I guess not. No one has known for eight - well, nine years now," I shrug.

I get a year older; I don't have 'birthdays'. You need to have people who care about you in order to have a birthday.

"Well happy late birthday!" Carlisle and Esme both say, clanking their glasses with mine.

God, I wish they would just let the topic go. Who gives a crap if I get older? Obviously, Bella does because she still wears a look of hurt.

Carlisle and Esme start into their own conversation, not paying attention to ours.

"What is it?" I ask gently.

"I would've made you a cake... got you something, done something for you. You should've told me, Edward."

"Sorry baby, I didn't even think about it." It's true.

I didn't even realize my birthday had passed until I was buying the train tickets and saw the date on them.

"Don't be sorry, I'm not trying to make you feel bad. I just feel bad I didn't do anything for you." She's starting to look more broken; the refreshed look she wore when she came out here is fading.

"Don't worry about it. I honestly would rather not pay attention to it," I say, leaning over and giving her a kiss.

Conversation continues, and Bella seems to get over not celebrating my birthday.

A half an hour passes, and everyone's moods seem to have lightened up. Carlisle stands to get himself another beer. I decline his offer to get me one. As soon as he opens the screen door, we can hear the front door open and voices float through. Alice and Emmett are here.

You all have had some great predictions on Alice and Emmett, you will get to meet them next chapter! I like to do it non cannon style, so I hope you all like them!

As always, teaser on the forum Wednesday and you can follow me on Twitter if you want to chat, or just say hi kdc2239

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