MyLight
Chapter 10 EPOV
Charlie came home and called Renee. I had no clue why when he said he was ringing her, so I wondered back to my room and sat impatiently on my bed, waiting for the night to close in on Forks and darkness to come, a good excuse to go to bed. I needed to think today through-carefully. Meeting Bella's family and becoming best friends with her brother had been so much fun - they were a funny bunch - and my phone hadn't stopped buzzing from texts of them, but I was confused. That's an understatement.
They seemed too eager, like they had been waiting for me or something. They seemed to enjoy my company more than anyone I'd ever met.
Charlie mumbled and moaned into the phone, so I decided to go downstairs and listen to him suffer. I sauntered to the kitchen and got that much needed smoothie from the fridge.
"Listen Renee," my dad all but screamed into the phone, his free hand tensing into a huge fist, like he wished he could punch something. "I cant handle it, this isn't working out, I think it would be better if things were back to the way they were before" for a second I thought they were getting back together, my jaw dropped and my breathe rolled out in a loud gasp, causing me to almost dropping my smoothie onto the carpet, which would be an improvement in this house.
Charlie glared at me then returned to shouting down the phone: "he doesn't like me anymore than I like him, so don't call me a bad dad!"
Bad Dad. That sounded funny, I couldn't hold back the chuckle that exploded in my throat. Charlie gave me another death glare. I saw no point in death glares any more. They obviously didn't work, or else I would have died the first time I saw Charlie's face - the day I was born. He always called me an accident. I didn't really care, it meant I didn't have to visit him a lot and his custody on me was all but ripped away from him. I could hear Renee shouting down the phone as well, muffled and angry:
"He's you're son as well, Charlie, you have to have some responsibility and look after you're son!! Renee said.
"What, like you did? You didn't look after him, you spent all you're time with you're tongue down Phil's neck, so don't give me a responsibility talk!" Charlie thundered. I laughed at what he said, he turned around and smirked at me, I showed him I was laughing at what he said and he grinned towards me handing me the phone: "deal with that son, it will give you're gob a lesson!" he said still smiling. I grinned and took the phone in both my hands, like it was going to explode on me, he laughed, louder than I'd ever heard him and swaggered towards his bedroom. I think we just had a mini truce! Oh my god! I swear I would have fainted if I hadn't been holding a deadly weapon. I looked at the phone gingerly, considering hanging up but reluctantly held it to my ear, tensing for an attack.
"Hi mum!" I said quietly, practically squeaking with fear.
"Hiya, Edward, darling" she said softly, surprising me, maybe she got all of her anger out on Charlie, ha. She asked me about the house and school at lot. She wanted to know if id made any new friends. I said I had, but just told her Mike and Eric, not the Cullen's. A voice in the back of my head told me not too. She asked me if I wanted to come home. I was gob smacked but answered he firmly: "no".
"What?? I thought you hated it they're, and Charlie!?!" her voice was creeping up again. She begged me to come home, out of the blue loneliness because Phil had an away match. I didn't what her pity, knowing if I went back she would ignore and neglect me. Not a nice feeling. Her pleas were easier to resist than I thought they would be. I was consumed by the mystery Bella presented, I was a little obsessed in Bella herself actually. Stupid, stupid, stupid! I wasn't as eager to escape forks as any other normal, sane person would be.
I said my goodbyes half-heartedly and decided to call it an early night, ignoring the dim sun still near the horizon. Charlie watched me suspiciously as I wondered aimlessly, lifelessly, around the house. We had made a silent truce I think. He was still smiling. I grinned back and went upstairs. I showered quickly in cold water-hot water took time, time I didn't want to wait for- and jumped into my warm bed quickly. I drifted off easily.
That was the first night I dreamed of Bella Cullen.
The dream haunted me, Bella standing in a dim-lit room, her skin glowing faintly. Her face held no expression as she turned around and walked into the darkness, leaving me behind. No matter how loud I called or how fast I ran, I could never find her. I woke in the night, troubled and couldn't sleep. I sat upright in my sheets for an hour or so and decided to go outside. Glancing at my clock as I dressed I saw it was too early for walking but I couldn't care less. I pulled on my worn trainers and grabbed my key. I moved as silently as I could through my ghostly street, but made enough noise anyway, falling over and crying in pain each time I made contact with the earth.
I got to the end of the street and turned back, thinking about murderers and rapists, out in the cold night, waiting for they're next victims. I shuddered harshly and half ran back. I sat in the living room staring blankly at the TV screen. This pattern repeated its self for the next month, always the same dreams. Bella was always there but never in reach. The month followed without incident, but it was surprisingly embarrassing.
Most of the girls in my year followed me around, even some people in the year above. The younger girls just watched me and were too shy to approach me. It was getting crazy. I hated it. I think being ignored is SO much better.
Bella sat next to me everyday in biology, as far away from me as the table allowed. He family still talked to me, but briefly in the corridors. They stopped texting me as much. It was like she told them not to talk to me. In lunch I sat with Mike and I saw Emmett and Jasper get up and look at my table, heading slightly in our direction. A look from Bella made them sit down immediately looking scared and a bit depressed.
I really wanted to talk to them, Bella especially. I sat next to her everyday, longing to talk to her. I pushed my look one day and said "hello Bella" she turned her head towards me by a fraction and nodded slightly, her golden eyes never leaving the blackboard. That was the last contact I had with her. Every now and then her hands would suddenly ball up into fists and she would plant her feet firmly on the floor, maybe she wasn't as oblivious as she seemed?
That was the last contact I had with her, though she was there, but a foot away, day after day. I watched him sometimes, unable to stop myself, from a distance though, like in the cafeteria or the parking lot. I watched as her golden eyes grew darker and darker by the day, until they suddenly became clear and light. But in class I showed no more notice of her than she did of me. I was depressed, and the dreams continued.
Jessica and her posse obviously loved the coolness between Bella and me. They thought I would like her - too right - because she is the most beautiful, mysterious…
…girl on the planet! Lost in thought, happens more than it used to now. Wonder why…not again!!!!
Jessica became more confident, practically sitting in my lap before biology! She would talk to me – well more to herself – forever until someone (praise them) shut her up, I was too polite to tell her to and I think she knew that, she just wanted to impress the girls and the more time she spent with me, the more guys like her! WEIRD!!
Mike made me aware of an evil event looming on the horizon; he called me last Tuesday to ask my permission to ask Jessica to the dance, the Girl's Choice dance!
"Dude, I thought it was "Girl's Choice!!"" I laughed down the phone. I could practically see him cringing.
"I know I know I know!!" he repeated annoyingly growling unimpressively "but I know she likes you and I thought I might get in there first…"
I spluttered into fits of laughter, earning sane questioning looks from Charlie: "hey man, I like her like a friend, kinda, and I probably won't ever like her that way anyway" I said in-between the giggles.
"Really…" he asked uncertainly. He obviously didn't piece together the clues. Since I have no balance, I can't dance - simples. I mean, com'on he is in me P.E, he's saw me single handily take down my ENTIRE team with ONE tennis ball! Or maybe be thought I really DID like Jess…
Some people are sooo slow!
"Sure mike, ask her!" I pleaded "im not going to the dance anyhow" I finished quickly making up my escape plan instantly.
"Really, are you sure, we'll have loads of fun. You aren't scared you won't get asked are you?" he said, probably smirking at the idea. He'd seen the girls that chased me; he'd helped me escape on many occasions. His attempt to make me come was half-hearted, afraid if I went Jess wouldn't notice him, even more!
"No dude, I'm out of town on that day, im going to Seattle" I said slyly... "You have fun with Jess"
"Kay, dude, catch ya later" he said as he hung up, not battling with me when he knew he'd rather I didn't go. Sighing lightly, I pulled out a bag of doughnuts out of the cupboard and put them on plates. Charlie seemed to like my dinners; I mostly made jammy doughnuts, but my speciality was skittles salad with rolo's.
I can never be bother to make a real dinner and to be honest I can't cook, so sweets and other stuff made perfect sense. In my own twisted way. Charlie surprised my though, I thought he'd never let me eat that, or give it him for that matter, but he was surprisingly ok with it.
Mike was surprisingly quiet walking to towards trig, not his usual chatty-self. He walked silently beside me on the way to the cafeteria and I was afraid to ask him what was wrong. If Jessica had turned him down id be the last one he wanted to talk to.
My fears only strengthened when Jessica sat as far away from Mike as possible at lunch, squeezing in-between Eric and Tyler, talking animated with a few side glances at Mike and me. Lunch ended quickly and soon enough me and Jess were in biology. Bella had bet me, once again, might I add so I took my seat next to her and tried my very best to ignore her.
Jessica perched on the edge of my desk and look down at me, frowning: "so Edward, Mike asked me to the dance…" she stuttered nervously.
I chuckled: "I thought it was Girl's Choice!! But that's great, you'll have fun with him" I finished grinning.
She frowned at me even more – shit what did I say?? Where the hell can a guy learn girl language in, 5 seconds, over here??
"I said I'd have to think about it" she said looking away. I could almost feel Bella's eyes boring into my skull. A wave of thrill shot down my spine, as I realised she'd noticed me. Weird, right, the first time in weeks she'd even looked at me and I get all excited about it! This is what you get from being raised by a woman.
"Why would you do that?" I asked, with shock in my voice, from Bella.
She looked my in the eyes and grinned sheepishly: "well to be honest, I was planning on asking you…" I almost fell off my chair. She was going to ask me? ME! Wow ive so been giving the wrong signals or something.
"Jess, its Girls Choice…" I said, fighting a smile. I paused for a moment; praying that the floor would swallow me up or that I'd get struck by lighting. Grabbing Bella and running out was also a good idea… "Um…I think you should tell Mike yes. He had the courage to ask you and it's a Girl's Choice dance, I think he really really likes you" I heard someone chuckle under there breathe as I said that and I instantly felt conscious.
"Did someone already ask you?" she demanded, fire blowing up in her eyes. I swear her eyes flickered to Bella, but I ignored that.
"No Jess, no. im not going to the dance at all, and I'm going out of town that weekend anyway" I said struggling to keep my cool.
"Why?" she demanded.
"Im going to Seattle"
"Cant you go any other weekend?" she asked impatiently, like I was missing out on something.
"Sorry, no. You should really answer Mike, it's rude to let him wait" I said quietly as Mr Banner entered. She slid away from me wordlessly and I sighed, running my fingers through my hair. I saw Bella watching me and stiffened. Mr Banner began talking so I tried to concentrate on him, but it's not easy when you have a goddess watching you're every move beside you.
I turned round to see her, trying to see if she really was staring at me and not someone near me. She stared right back at me. I expected her to turn away but she didn't, she continued to watch me. There was no question of me looking away.
Mr Banner huffed, suddenly next to us, and I jumped in shock. Earning chuckles from people who were paying attention. I looked away from Bella as soon as her released me, concentrating on my book. I tried to hide behind my hair, wishing I forgot to cut it so it was longer and shuffled further away from her. I heard her sigh as I did and it sent a wave of emotion through me, I couldn't believe it! She looked at me for the first time in weeks and I felt something!?! I couldn't allow her to have this much influence over me, it was pathetic. No it was more than that, it was unhealthy.
I argued with myself for the rest of the lesson and soon enough the bell went. I turned my back on her and gathered my books, expecting her to leave immediately like usual.
"Edward?" her voice shouldn't be this familiar to me, like I'd known it all my life instead of just over a month. I turned towards her slowing, unwillingly. I didn't want to fell what I knew id feel when I looked at her oh-too-perfect face. I kept my expression blank as I faced her; her face was flawless and unreadable.
"What? Are you talking to me again??" I asked semi-hopefully.
She smiled kindly and shook her head slightly: "no not really" she admitted looking down.
I closed my eyes a fraction and breathed sharply through my nose: "then what do you want Bella?" I said her name as normally as I could, despite my stomach turning upside down at the thought of her. I desperately wanted to close my eyes; it would be easier to talk to her without getting lost in her topaz eyes.
"Im sorry" she said sincerely, I open my eyes fully and stared at her face. She looked like she meant it as well: "I'm being rude, I know. But it's easier this way, really" her face was serious.
"I don't understand what you mean" I said, my voice guarded. She rolled her eyes and grinned.
"Its better were not friends" she explained her face turning down.
"But you're brothers are my friends" I said, desperately trying to hold on to the small friendship we had built.
"I understand that, but I can't be you're friend, you can be friends with my siblings, but just not me" she said quietly, she looked sad. I shook off the instinct urge to comfort her.
"Why not?" I asked, keeping my voice level. She looked at me sadly, her eyes tightening and her brow puckering. She looked like she was going to cry. I almost fell to my knees as the emotions pulsed through me.
"Its for the best, ok? Trust me" she said shakily, her voice breaking, even though it was clear she was trying her hardest not to let any emotion pass through her.
"I trust you but…" I whispered "…whose definition of best?"
"My definition, Edward, I know we seem fine now, but I know that we can't be friends, I just know it" she whispered as we walked outside into the rain, her voice was almost lost to the wind. I stumbled onto the path heading for P.E. I almost fell over thinking about how sad she was, how sad I'd made her.
"Ok" I said quietly as she turned away a little too late, I don't think she heard me. I stumbled over to the changing rooms blindly and was caught by Rosalie.
"Oh god Edward, are you ok?" she asked panicked. I was too sad to notice she was suddenly talking to me again.
"Yea Rose, im fine, just thinking" I said quietly. She stared at me questionally so I turned away and Alice attacked me: "hey Edward!" she said excited, glaring at Rosalie
"Hey Alice!" I said brightening up
"Boys and girls are working in the same groups so were with you!" she said grinning.
"Alice, im useless in P.E!" I moaned smiling slightly. Rosalie breathed a sigh of relieve and hugged me: "we know that, honey!" she said grinning; they had obviously seen the people I'd injured, or just watched me in P.E – which ever.
They pushed me of the changing rooms and I looked at the notice board in fight. We had basket ball! I grimly walked off to the sports hall and sat down on a bench with Alice and Rosalie.
We teamed up and nobody on my team passed me the ball, but I fell down a lot. Sometimes I took people down with me. Just when I needed to concentrate on me feet the most, Bella's sad face crept back into my mind.
It was such a relief, as always, to leave. I ran to my truck, leaving Rose and Alice behind me. There were so many people I wanted to avoid. I almost had s mini stroke when I saw a pale figure leaning against my truck. I was about to turn around and run, but then I realised it was just Angela, I walked over and nodded.
"Hey Angela!" I said as brightly as I could "do you want me?"
"Well yeah actually, I was wondering, will you come to the spring dance with me?" she said looking at her feet. Her quiet voice broke on the last word. I looked at her in shock for a second then I recovered
She looked back up at me: "thank you so much for asking me, but im going to Seattle that weekend" I said smiling slightly at her, to show I was ok
"Oh, that's ok Edward."
"Wait Angela, I thought you wanted to ask Ben?" I asked trying to help her
"Yeah, but he doesn't like me, and I don't want to embarrass myself!" she said grinning at me. I could see we were still friends. I wanted to help her.
"Well just ask him like you asked me, its not that hard, it'll be fine Angela, you should ask him before someone else does" I told her grinning back. She nodded to herself then smiled hugely.
"You're right, I will, thank you so much Edward, I owe you one!" she said hugging me and kissing my cheek quickly. She ran off towards Ben, where he was unlocking his car. I smiled after her and jumped into my truck shaking my head.
I heard a low chuckle as I climbed into my truck and I turned round to see Bella walking past me. She must have heard everything, damn! Her mouth was in a straight line, like she was trying not to laugh. I slammed my truck door loudly and revved the engine and backed out into the road.
Bella was already in her car, three down form me and she pulled out smoothly in front of me, blocking my path. She stopped there to wait for her family, walking slowly from the cafeteria. My chest went tight and I tried to look any where but the Shiny Silver Volvo in front off me. Directly behind me Lauren was waving from her car. I ignored her and scowled at the back of the car in front of me.
I heard a knock at my window and looked down in shock to see Lauren stood they're. Her car was still running, the door open.
"Sorry Lauren, Cullen's blocked me in" I almost growled
"Oh I know, I just thought I might ask you something while were stuck in here." She said grinning. Oh no, this couldn't be happening! Lord save me! "Do you want go to the dance with me?"
"Sorry Lauren, I can't, im going to Seattle that weekend!" I said impatiently too angry to even try being polite. I had to remember it wasn't her fault Jessica and Angela had already asked me.
"Yeah, Jess said that" she admitted grinning.
"Then why…" I asked puzzled, so it was her fault.
"I thought you might just be letting him down easily!" she said frowning as she realised I'd said no.
"Well I really am Lauren, sorry"
"Its ok, we still have prom!" she said shrugging and walking back off to her car. I could feel the shock on my face. I glanced down towards Bella's car and I saw in her rear view mirror that's she was in fits of laughter, her eyes were on mine as Alice, Jasper Emmett and Rosalie got in. They waved at me while Bella giggled. I revved the engine loudly as she sped off. She heard every word. AGAIN!! God, she must have super-sonic hearing or something.
When I got in I decided to experiment on dinner. I put a packet of minstrels in the blender and a couple of strawberries. I mashed them up into a lumpy-ish liquid and poured it into two cups. I melted some chocolate and poured it onto of some cut up bananas and strawberries. I put them on plates in the fridge to set with the smoothies.
As I did that the phone rang, I didn't want to answer it, but it might be mum or Charlie so I picked it up.
"Hello?" I asked in a bored sing-song voice.
"Edward?" Angela asked.
"Hey Angela, what's up?" I asked brightening up a little; she was one of the only girls I knew that didn't worship the ground I walked on.
"I asked Ben, I asked Ben, I asked Ben!" she screamed excitedly.
"What did he say, what did he say, what did he say???" I asked mimicking her playfully. She laughed with me, and paused:
"Yes, he said yes, HE SAID YES!!!" she squealed happily.
"Oh god, that's great! You two will have such a good time!" I cooed.
"Are you sure you can't come? It won't be the same without you" she asked calming down slightly "you cant tell me you didn't get asked!"
"Well three girls – including you – asked me actually, but I am really going out of town!"
"Would you say yeah if the right girl asked?" she asked.
"Umm…maybe…don't know…" I stammered thinking about Bella again.
"That's a yes then!" she said.
"Ok, but please don't tell the other girls im still available and looking for the right person, because I will be mobbed - again – and I will have to break some hearts!" I pleaded.
"Ok, Edward, I won't. I gotta go now so see ya tomorrow!"
"Bye Angela!" I said as she hug up, leaving me confused. Would I say yes if Bella asked me? Probably…I think…
Charlie came in and saw me confused. He grinned: "good day son?" he had started calling me "son" all the time now, not "Edward" or "you", or "boy"
"Um it was confusing, but ok I suppose"
"What's for dinner?" he asked looking to the fridge.
"My new concoction!" he looked worried now, so I pulled out the fruit and the drinks from the fridge and he grinned grabbing his plate and wandering towards the living room. "Yeah dad, just take it!" I said to him. I ate and washed my plate. I ran to my room and got into my bed. I prayed I wouldn't dream again and closed my eyes unhopefully…
I woke up the next morning, surprised. I had slept through the whole night without waking. I was shocked and happy at the same time. I heard Charlie downstairs and ran down to see it he'd make me something other than cereal.
He was flipping eggs and bacon thoughtfully. I bounded in, startling him a little.
"Morning son, what are you doing next weekend??" he asked casually.
"I was planning on going to Seattle for a day, it that ok? Why??"
"I'm going fishing with Harry and I didn't want you to be lonely"
"Ok, tell him to say hi to Seth and Leah for me please" I said with my mouth full of bacon.
I finished and left before he made me wash up. I drove quickly to school listening to the radio. Boring country songs filled the cab and I groaned internally, shoving in a cd.
I parked and my keys slide from my fingers, falling into a puddle next to my feet. I bent down to get it, but a flash of white grabbed them before I could.