Hey guys!
So life has been nuts! I haven't even been twittering and if you know me, you know I must be really freakin busy if it's keeping me from my twitter peeps LOL
Loving my classes but not the lack of free time.
HUGE thank you to Whatobsession17, Kimcarr and Jessypt you ladies know I couldn't do it without you!
Thank you for every single review. We just passed 2000 and I can't even believe it! You guys are too amazing for words and I am humbled that you like my story. I couldn't reply to you but if you read this thank you so much for taking the time to read and review the chapters!
I do not own the characters of Twilight. I just took their homes away
WARNING!
This story contains subject matter which may be offensive to some readers. I will try to post a warning before each chapter if I feel there is a need, but the story in general deals with mature themes.
I can't detach from the past and all of the pain
I need to learn, start from scratch begin again
I will not run from bad things I've done
They're things I'll try not to repeat
Throw away yesterday
Today is a brand new day
Welcome to
The church of what's happening now
Head straight through
It costs nothing but change
-Sia
EPOV - Day five in Forks
"Fuck," I hiss. My breath comes out in a smoke-like puff.
I look at where the hammer just landed on my hand. Even in the shadowy darkness of the early morning I call tell it's bruising already. It's six, and the sun is finally deciding to make an appearance. I dragged myself out of bed at five, leaving Bella unconscious and unaware in the warm blankets and started on this shed. I wanted to get a head start on the day since I knew we'd be spending a large chunk of it at Bella's mom's gravesite.
Tomorrow, I'll be meeting Charlie and have no idea how long it will take. I know Carlisle is in no hurry for me to complete this job, but I said I would; I follow through with what I commit to.
I step back from the shed and stand in the grass cradling my sore hand. I evaluate what it will take to make this thing usable. The early morning air stings when it hits my skin. It's been warm in the afternoons, but the temperature drops drastically overnight, usually bringing rainfall with it. The dew from the grass has soaked through my shoes and bleeds up the legs of my jeans. I reach up and scratch the side of my head, and the coldness of my ears shocks me. I touch my nose, and it's freezing too. I blow hot air into my hands and rub them together for friction.
For a second I feel like I'm on the streets again. I close my eyes and can smell the stench of the alleys. I can feel the brick wall I tried to sleep against. I can feel a phantom growl in my stomach, with a hunger that only comes from not eating for days. I hear the bums fighting and the whores propositioning.
I open my eyes, and I remind myself where I've been sleeping and who I've been sleeping with. All of a sudden my wet shoes, pants and cold ears don't bother me anymore. Jake pops into my head, I need to figure out a way to check on him, even if that means me going back to Portland for a quick visit. Bella's become my life, but I won't abandon my best friend who, I assume is still living the life I've been lucky enough to escape... for now. I never want to live like that again and will never allow Bella to have less than she has right at this second. With that thought, I'm more eager than ever to work on my job.
I didn't want to wake anyone so I've been trying to work in the dark. I plan to ask Carlisle if he owns a utility light when I see him. The sun rises higher into the sky, and I'm able to get a better look at what I'm up against with this shed.
With a large sigh, I walk around to inspect the back. I push on the side, and it gives under my weight. I kick a board and it crashes to the ground. When I get close, I can smell the mustiness of the mold that surely grows inside. This thing is a piece of shit. I'm not sure if it was Emmett or Carlisle, but whoever worked on this before did a great job of screwing up.
Boards don't line up like they should. The sharp ends of nails stick out on almost every section. The wood was never treated and is rotting, and the roof wasn't sealed and has been leaking for god knows how long. No floor has been put in, and that's the first thing that should've been done. There's no saving any of the work that's been completed. Not if it's going to be done right, and I'm doing it right.
I go back inside and evaluate the materials abandoned here by the last failed, wannabe carpenter. There are cans of paint and sealer that seem to be in good shape. Good shape because they were never used, I think rolling my eyes. Someone was smart enough to wrap most of the wood in a tarp, which seemed to withhold a lot of the moisture. I drag everything outside piece by piece. It takes a while and fucking spiders keep crawling out of every surface, causing me to jump around like a bitch trying to get them off. Then, I look around and make sure no one saw. By the time I have the supplies stacked in piles to use and to toss, I've peeled my sweatshirt off, and sweat drips off the end of my nose.
The next step is to deconstruct. The entire thing needs to come down. I grab my hammer and flip it around. As quietly as I can I start pulling nails out. With hardly any effort, boards start tumbling to the ground. I get it down in no time but can't start to rebuild until I make a trip to the hardware store. I look back and am surprised; there's still no life coming from the Cullen house. Looking at my watch I see it's a little after eight, the store should be open by now.
I don't know the town well, but I think maybe there's a store close enough to walk. I could make a couple of trips if I need to. Before I can decide what to do, an old Honda pulls into the driveway. I quickly recognize Alice in the driver's seat. She climbs out of the car and waves at me.
"Morning," she says with a smile.
Bella told me last night how upset Alice was over her weight. How she used to be so tiny, but how she can't lose the weight from having Seth. I don't know why women do this to themselves. Yes, she has extra weight, but that doesn't automatically make her ugly. Bella said she thinks Alice is putting up with this Ryan guy not treating her well because her self-esteem is so low. I don't get what most of that means, but I know it's bullshit. I've realized early in life all the superficial shit doesn't matter.
Alice shuts the car door quietly. She looks frazzled. Her clothes are wrinkled, and she still seems to be styling her hair as she walks to the back of her car. I'm sure it's not easy being a mom, let alone a single one. She starts digging a ton of stuff out of her trunk.
"Good morning," I say, walking over to help her.
"What are you doing up so early on Saturday?"
I just shrug, lifting the large stroller out of her hands and setting it on the ground.
"Thanks," she says, wiping dirt from the wheels on the front of her pants.
"You do know who you're staying with, right? You won't see a coherent human being until nine, at the earliest, on a Saturday," she tells me jokingly as she pulls more stuff out of the car.
"I'm just getting started on the shed," I explain.
"Oh, nice."
I'm taken back a little with how easy it is for Alice to talk to me. She's not pestering me with intrusive questions or acting awkwardly like people usually do when they first meet. I wonder if this is just who she is or if this is how she's been instructed to act. I wonder how much she knows. I want the conversation to stay off of me, so I ask her about all the stuff we're unloading.
"Are you moving back?" I ask. I can't think of another reason why she'd have her entire house packed in the back of her car. She looks at me shocked.
"Moving back," she says, appalled. "Lord, no! I love my parents and all, but I really love living on my own. My mom, she watches Seth for me when I work my second job on the weekends," she explains. I look at the pile of items I've pulled from her trunk. She sees my expression and laughs.
"Just wait. Some day, when you have a kid, you'll see. You always want to be prepared."
"Whatever you say," I laugh.
I can't even imagine that ever happening to me. I've never talked to Bella about it before. I bet she'll want kids. She's so good with them. The thought of me being in charge of another human life scares the shit out of me. Alice bends down and throws a huge bag over her shoulder. I go to grab it from her, but she moves aside.
"It's ok. I'm used to carrying it."
I want to insist on carrying it for her but don't. Instead, I gather up all the other items and carry them to the porch.
"I just have to get Seth," she says, walking back to the car. She opens the back door, and I can see her struggling. I wonder how hard it is for her to do this on her own. I wonder how hard it was for my mom.
"Edward," she whispers, waving me over. I walk over to meet her. Seth is completely out. He's wearing Spider Man pajamas on his body and leftovers of his breakfast on his face. She's holding him and trying to get the car seat out at the same time.
"I need to leave this for my mom," she whispers, pointing to the car seat. I stick my head in the car. It smells like kid, if there's such a smell. There are action figures, cereal and snack packets everywhere. I see the seat but have no idea how to get the damn thing out. There are straps and buttons everywhere. I push, pull and force. Alice is whispering instructions to me, but they make no sense. I feel like an idiot, but I can't get it out.
"Do you really need the car seat?" I ask, hoping to get out of the embarrassing fight I'm having with the inanimate object.
"It's a booster seat, and, yes. Here hold him, I'll get it."
Before I can process anything, Seth is passed into my arms. My whole body freezes. I haven't held a kid before, or after Lucy, and I did it then because I had no other choice. I stand completely still. I don't hold him with any more pressure than is needed to ensure he doesn't fall.
Even though I'm more uncomfortable than I have ever been in my entire life, Seth seems perfectly content. He curls his body up and buries his head in the crook of my neck. I look at Alice with wide eyes. She has the booker - booster seat, or whatever the hell she called it out of the car. Time to trade. I want the damn seat, and she can have her kid back.
She just picks it up and walks off. I stand in shock. What am I supposed to do? After a few steps, she turns and looks at me oddly. Willing my feet to move forward, I start to follow. My steps jostle the sleeping toddler. The last thing I want is for him to wake up wondering why the hell his mom handed him off to the homeless guy staying with his grandparents.
I slow down and take each step with care. I take a step and then let the other foot meet it. Step, meet. Step, meet. I hear laughing and look up.
"Walking down the aisle, Edward?" Alice asks, laughing. "It's ok. He sleeps like a rock. He won't wake up." I feel like an idiot
Quietly we go inside, and Alice is right. The house has no evidence of human life yet. Everyone must still be asleep. Carlisle and Esme come off as the type of people who would be up by six, and have something to do, somewhere to go. It's nice to see they take it easy on their weekends. Each new thing I learn makes them all that much more human to me.
Alice takes Seth up to his room and then meets me back downstairs. It's awkward. I have no idea what to say to this woman I just met yesterday.
"Bella's still asleep?"
"I think so," I respond.
She snaps her fingers, "Darn, I wanted to say good morning to her. Oh well, I guess I'll see her when I pick Seth up tonight."
I'm glad to hear Alice will be back. Bella might need a friend after she visits her mother today. Alice and I are just sitting in the living room, and I'm not sure what to talk to her about. I want to make some progress on the shed and decide to get out of the situation with the excuse of going to the hardware store.
"Walk? No way, it's too far. Besides, you'd have to carry everything back. I have time before work, I'll take you." Before I can decline the offer, she has her keys in hand and is already out the door.
I sit on the couch for a second stunned by her eagerness to take a complete stranger to the store. When I can think of no escape, I stand and follow her to the car. I lower myself into the passenger side and my knees are almost in my face.
"Oh, jeez. Sorry. Just pull the lever right..." Not being able to see, I blindly feel between my feet. "No, to the right... like, right by the door." I find the lever and the seat goes flying back.
"There, you found it!" Alice smiles, sliding the sunglasses on the top of her head over her eyes.
We aren't moving. I look over at her, and she's staring at me.
"What?" I ask, looking around unsure of what I'm missing.
"Seatbelt," she says quietly. Ok, then. I pull the band over my chest and buckle it.
"You really are a mom, aren't you?" I joke. She laughs and pulls out of the driveway.
I pegged Alice as someone who would need to fill every second with chatter, but she's not. We drive down the road in comfortable silence. Pulling into the hardware store I see we're the only ones here.
"Do you know what you need?" She asks. I nod.
I assume she'll wait in the car but no. She climbs out and follows me in.
I walk around the store and gather all the supplies I need. Alice quietly follows behind me and fiddles with almost everything she sees. Out of nowhere I hear her voice; she talks so quietly I almost miss it.
"Somebody really hurt Bella, didn't they?"
My entire body freezes with her question. I'm surprised she asked it. I ignore the wood in front of me and turn to face her. Her posture is stiff, and I can tell she's holding tears back. In that moment, she doesn't look like the strong single mom I've seen. She looks like a little girl who's terrified for her friend.
"Yeah, someone hurt her." I respond. It comes out softly, quietly.
I don't know if we're still alone in the store, but this is no one's business. I'm not trying to repeat the story. I never want to again. I turn back to reading the labels trying to match the wood I already have. I'm hoping Alice will drop it, but I learn quickly it's not going to happen.
"Did you save her?" I scoff. She's apparently been watching too many Disney movies.
"Didn't your dad talk to you?" I don't face her this time.
"He just said her leaving wasn't her choice. That I should wait for her to open up to me, to not ask her questions."
"So, you're asking me instead?" I still face the wood.
"She's my best friend, Edward. Trust me, I know all about not wanting nosey people in your business. Small town, pregnant sixteen year-old, no father. I could've really used my best friend then. I was always hurt she wasn't there for me. I figured she ran off and forgot about me. Of course, I feel like shit now for ever thinking those things. I know Bella, and I know she would never be like that. Who took my best friend away, Edward?"
I can hear the tears and pain in her voice. I lean over on the shelf resting my head in my arm.
"Alice... I don't know what to tell you." It's the truth.
"You're right. Sorry I brought it up." I can hear the sincerity in her words. I feel a small hand rub my back and then hear footsteps walk away.
It's not that I think Bella would be mad at me for sharing with Alice. I know she would tell Alice if she were strong enough. Bella and I assumed Carlisle had already told them everything. Bella trusts Alice. She'd be okay with her friend knowing, especially if she knew what Alice said about being forgotten. Bella never forgot her. No, I just can't handle it anymore. I can't say those words and have those mental images in my head again.
Apparently, I've rapidly grown soft, because I can't get over the guilt I feel for brushing Alice off. I continue my shopping without seeing her once. When I have everything I need, I pay for the supplies; it takes up almost all my money. The old man at the counter makes comments about never seeing me around before. I shrug him off and give him no information. I walk out of the store half expecting Alice to have left me here.
She didn't. She's sitting on a bench outside.
"All set?" she asks with a smile. Her glasses cover her eyes, so I can't see if she's been crying. I assume she has.
"Yeah." I start to load her little car up with everything I bought.
"Doesn't this sun feel awesome?" She leans on the car, her head lifted toward the sky. She's trying to make sure things aren't awkward after our conversation in the store. I might as well play along.
"It does. Is it supposed to be warm today?"
"High sixties, I think." Everything's in the car, and we both climb back in. I decide to take our drive home and tell her whatever I can spit out.
"Someone manipulated her and took her." Alice's head shoots in my direction. The car swerves. Quickly, she corrects and gets back into her lane. I let go of the 'oh shit bar,' make sure I didn't piss my pants and throw her a look.
"Sorry."
"He kept her captive for the past five years. You can imagine what he did to her." The words come out quiet and deadly. My hands grip my legs so hard it hurts. Her hands tighten on the stirring wheel; her knuckles turn white. A tear slips down her cheek underneath the glasses. She nods. No more needs to be said.
"How..." Her voice comes out thick with emotion. She clears her throat and wipes her eye. "How did you meet her?"
For some reason I feel no reason to hide from Alice. I've only known her for a day but can tell she isn't going to judge me, or worse, tell Bella she shouldn't be with me.
"Uh, I've been homeless... most my life," I shrug. "Bella was able to get away from the guy who took her. She jumped a train and basically ended up on the same bench as me." The clean version of the story.
"Oh, Edward." There's no pity. Some shock, but no pity. I'm glad.
"How long have you been taking care of her?" I don't like the question. It makes Bella sound like a chore or a burden. She's far from it.
"I've been with her since January." Best six months of my life.
"She loves you." She looks over at me and smiles. I can feel my cheeks heat, but I don't know why.
"Last night, when we went into the kitchen, you were all she would talk about. How great you are, how smart you are, how hot you are," she laughs.
I can't imagine Bella saying it, but I choose to believe Alice because it feels good. Her face goes white all of a sudden.
"What?" I ask. She looks like she's going to be sick.
"Oh God. I was poking fun at her, making sex jokes about you two when she said you were hot... oh God. I didn't know!" I can see why this would upset her after what I just told her. Bella didn't seem upset last night, so I'm not either. Embarrassed but not mad.
"She was fine, Alice. She was so happy to see you."
"Really? Promise?"
"I have no reason to lie."
"She's right though. She stole my crush in the sixth grade. She always did get the perfect guy." Alice jokingly winks. She's trying to lighten the mood. I have to laugh, because she has no idea how far from the truth she is.
We pull back into the Cullen's driveway. I quickly unload my stuff, because I know Alice has to get to work. Once everything sits on the ground, Alice walks back to the driver's side.
"Edward." I look over at her. "Thank you for bringing my best friend back." I don't say anything. "And, if you have a brother, give him my number," she laughs, getting into her car. I shake my head and get back to work.
So I know not a ton happened in this chapter but it just flowed for me. I thought it was important to get to know my Alice and for Edward to stand on his own a bit - Bella will have her chance as well.
Remember, even though it's been weeks in RL (sorry it takes me so long to post) it's only been 5 days since they have arrived in Forks. I really want a realistic, natural progression. Starting next chapter there will be the action some of you have been waiting for and things will speed up a lot! Not sure if it will be next Monday or a bit longer but I hope it will be worth the wait for you guys!
I love to chat with you guys on Twitter kdc2239
Since you guys have been so patient and supportive I will send an extra teaser to everyone that reviews. Love ya guys!