Hey!
Thank you so much for all the reviews last chapter! I hope everyone received their teaser!
Kimmcarr, Jessypt and Whatobsession17, these ladies live very busy lives and manage to fit my little story in. Thank you so much, love you guys!

School is great, and I'm very thankful I can go - it is, at the same time, kicking my ass LOL
I'm working so hard to keep theses chapters coming in a timely manner. Thanks for all the support and patients. I have the best readers ever!

People have asked a lot about where I got the info for this story. I put a small explanation at the bottom for those who care to read.

Sadly, I have experience visiting a parents grave. If you've read A New Normal, my other story, you have probably figured out that I lost my dad at 16. It's something that comes with painful, unexplainable feelings, and it's different for everyone. Every person is different and handles grief differently. This is my interpretation on how Bella would handle it. This song by Switchfoot really captured the feelings I felt, and I played it on repeat while writing this chapter. I encourage you to youtube it and give it a listen.

WARNING!

This story contains subject matter which may be offensive to some readers. I will try to post a warning before each chapter if I feel there is a need, but the story in general deals with mature themes.

This chapter comes with a tissue warning *Hands out tissues to teary readers*

I'm on the run. I'm on the ropes this time

Where is my song? I've lost the song of my soul tonight

##

Where is the sun? Feel like a ghost this time

Where have you gone? I need your breath in my lungs tonight

##

I'm holding on to you. My world is wrong

My world is a lie that's come true

And I fall in love

With the ones that run me through

When all along all I need is you

Sing it out

Sing it out

Take what is left of me

Make it a melody

-Switchfoot

EPOV - Day five in Forks

After Alice leaves I can enjoy the quietness of the morning. I line up all the supplies I bought and get right to work.

I don't get too far when I hear the front door open and see Bella on the front porch. She looks around frantically. I assume she's upset, because she woke up alone and couldn't find me. I drop my hammer and walk over to her. When she sees me, she flies off the porch, running towards me, going through the wet grass barefoot and landing in my arms.

Her arms squeeze around my neck like a constrictor. I don't realize she's crying until I feel hot tears on my shoulder. I lift her off the ground just enough to walk her over to the porch.

"Hey, what's the matter?" I ask. I sit down holding her close to me on my lap.

"It's stupid." She wipes her eyes and nose with her sleeve.

I just look at her waiting for her to continue. She knows me, and I know I tend to say most things are stupid. She should know by know I don't think anything having to do with her is stupid.

"I just... woke up and you weren't there. I laid there a while thinking you were in the bathroom, but when you never came back I got up to look for you. When I couldn't find you, I panicked." Another tear escapes from her eye.

She looks so lost and haunted; I hate it. She looks like she did when we were still sleeping on the street.

"It's ok. I'm here. I was just getting a head start on the shed. Alice even took me to the store while you lazy bums slept all damn morning." I say, trying to make her smile. It works.

I think about what I just said and realized what a mess it would have been if Bella had woken up while I was still at the store.

"I promise I'll leave you a note from now on. It would freak me out too... if I woke up without you there. I thought you'd be a little more comfortable here... without me."

"No. I mean, yes. I am comfortable here, but this..." she waves her hand behind her at the house, "all of this would mean nothing to me if you weren't here. I need you."

She always seems to know what I need to hear.

Our foreheads press together. My hand skims the skin exposed where her top and pants meet. I'm no longer concerned with the shed. I lean in and kiss her, but as soon as our lips meet the door flies open.

"Oops, sorry." Carlisle quickly shuts the door.

I take it as, 'please, continue where you left off' so I lean back in and start to kiss her. Bella giggles softly and stops me.

"I'm going to get in the shower. Then... maybe... well, maybe we could go?"

"To see your mom?"

She nods, and the sadness in her eyes takes my mind off the brutal cock block from Carlisle.

"Yeah, I'll get ready, too," I say, giving her just a peck. She stands and walks into the house. I sit and watch her go.

Carlisle comes out again and sits on a chair. I wait for the 'this is our house, no funny business,' talk, but it doesn't come.

"Sorry, Edward. I usually have my coffee on the front porch. I wasn't expecting anyone to be out here."

I wasn't expecting him to apologize to me. I just shrug.

"It's your house," I say.

"Doesn't mean I'd purposefully intrude while you and Bella are having... a moment."

How awkward.

I laugh. Is that what they call it these days? When I don't say anything, he changes the subject.

"Wow! Where's the shed?" He sounds shocked and a little nervous.

I explain what a piece of shit the old shed was. He laughs and takes full responsibility for the shoddy work. We walk over to the pile of scrap. I show him how shitty the wood is. He agrees and thanks me for doing the job right. When he finds out Alice took me to the store, he immediately pays me back for the supplies. We stand and talk for a while about what I plan to do with the shed.

Carlisle's an alright guy, I decide.

~*E&B*~

Bella carries a large bouquet of flowers she picked from Esme's garden. She took her time, taking only the most perfect ones she could find. She looks beautiful in the black dress Esme loaned her. The air is cool, but the sun shines high in the sky as we walk down the street.

Bella was taking forever to get ready, and that's not like her. When I went into the bathroom to check on her, she was staring into the mirror. She was wearing the torn jeans I'd always seen her in and her sweatshirt from the Mission. When I asked her what was taking so long, she broke down. She said she wasn't sure if her mother could see her, but if there was any chance she could, she couldn't bear for her to see her like that.

We only have clothes from the street, and they aren't in the best shape. After witnessing her minor breakdown and admitting her humiliation, I vowed to myself to make sure she'd have new clothing and soon.

Thank God Esme swooped in with a dress that was perfect for Bella. I thanked her, but of course she brushed me off saying she wished we'd just let them treat us to some new clothing. I wouldn't accept it, but at this point I had no issue with them getting Bella anything she wants. I don't want to see her go without just because I can't provide for her.

We continue on our way. The only noise to be heard is the sound the gravel makes under our shoes. I look at the ground as I walk and smile when I see Bella's feet. She's still wearing her worn out thinks she looks ridiculous in a dress and sneakers but none of Esme's shoes fit. I know nothing about fashion, but I know Bella could never look ridiculous. I'm wearing what I always do, having nothing else, but I did tuck in my shirt and slick my out of control hair back. It looks funny as shit, but I hope the effort is noticed.

I don't try to make conversation. Bella stares straight ahead as she walks, the flowers tight in her grip. I can tell she's deep in thought, and there's no reason for me to break it.

Out of nowhere, the gravel path leads to the cemetery. I was expecting gargoyles and a creepy graveyard attendant, but it's not at all like that.

If anything, it's closer to a garden. At the entrance is a large trellis with vines growing up it and white flowers blooming. A white fence goes around the perimeter. The grass is bright green and well maintained. It's a very small cemetery, and you can see all the headstones from underneath the trellis, where Bella is currently standing frozen. There's a bench just inside the entrance. I walk through, letting go of Bella's hand and sit. I wait to see what she'll do.

She looks at me, somewhat surprised I walked away. She looks down at the hand I just let go of. She looks hurt. I didn't do it to hurt her, but this is something she needs to do. Something she wanted to do. I don't want to push her to see her mom if she isn't ready or keep her from doing it if she is.

She stands there, and she scans the cemetery. Her eyes lock on one headstone. Her body starts to tremble just a little, and a tear slowly runs down her cheek. A black trail follows it from the makeup she put on. Her knuckles are white as she grips the flowers, and the stems start to bend from the pressure.

Slowly, she walks over and sits next to me. She sits up straight, her legs bent, feet pressed together. The flowers rest on her lap, still in her grasp. She stares at the headstone across the grounds as if it will open and swallow her up within its depths. Black tears continue to fall down her face.

Breezes, so gentle they barely move her hair, make her shiver. The quiet chirping from the birds overhead make her flinch. I never thought about it until now, but not only is it hard for her to come to her mother's grave for the first time, she's also facing the beginning of her nightmare.

If her mom had never passed, she would have never gone through the fucked up things she's been through. Her mothers death resulted in her life as she knew spiraling out of control at a dangerous rate to the ground. When she landed, it was cold, hard and unforgiving. She feels guilty for not knowing how sick her mother was, for never returning to her grave, and she's terrified her mother would be disappointed in her.

I don't think it's possible. I never met Renee Mazzagatti, but if she's half the woman Bella speaks of, there's no way she would be disappointed in her daughter. Like my mother with me, I have to believe, she would love Bella no matter what she does or what's been done to her.

Bella stands, breaking me out of my thoughts. Carrying the flowers with her, she walks towards her mother's grave. She reverently reads the other headstones as she passes them; with each one the tears fall faster. She reaches her mother's and lowers herself to the ground, ignoring the small concrete bench that's been placed there for Renee's visitors. Next to the bench is a concrete angel who holds a vase in her hands. Flowers, wilted and brown, reside in the Angel's grip. I can't read the headstone from here, but I can see Bella's hands as they trace the words.

I stand and decide to walk a little, giving Bella some privacy. I know I won't want someone watching while I visit my mother's grave for the first time, if that time ever does come. Even though my back is turned to her, I listen carefully for any sign that she needs me. I assume she cries, but I don't hear it.

I turn around after a while to check on her. She's not sitting on the bench, but she leans against it, her legs crossed in front of her. She's taken the old flowers out and replaced them with the ones she so carefully picked out. I go back to the bench I started out on where I can hear her. She doesn't say much, but what she does say is in Italian.

For the first time since we left the Cullen's driveway, Bella looks up and makes eye contact with me. She motions softly with her hand to join her. Unsure if I should, I stand and re-tuck my shirt uncomfortably into my pants, before I slowly make my way over to her. Unlike Bella, I ignore the other headstones, keeping my eyes trained on her.

"Hi," I say when I make it over to her.

She looks up at me and gives me a sad smile. I offer her my hand and help her off the ground. When she stands she grabs my shirt and pulls it out of my pants. She smoothes it out and then runs a hand through my hair, ruining any management I had of it.

She looks at me with sad, tear-stained eyes and smiles a real smile.

"Just be you," she says, so quietly I barely hear her.

I love her even more. She believes her mom can see us, and she's proud to be with me. This very second is when I get over wondering if I'm good enough, if Bella needs me or for feeling guilty when she does need me. We love each other and this exact moment in time makes me realize that it's enough.

We sit on the bench next to the angel. I look down and see grass and dirt stuck to Bella's knees and dress. Leaning over, I brush them off. She kisses my cheek and lays her head on my shoulder.

I have no idea how long we sit there but the sun shines, the breeze blows, and there is never a sound except for the birds.

~*E&B*~

For the third time in two blocks I adjust the collar of my shirt - my new shirt. Apparently Esme is birthday challenged and can't stand if one is missed. Upon arriving back from the cemetery, Bella and I both had a new set of clothing on our bed with birthday cards.

When we tried to protest, we were up for a fight we had no chance of winning.

"Esme, really, this is too much," Bella says, setting her new clothing on the counter.

"Has there ever been a birthday where we didn't do something for you?" Esme asks. Bella shakes her head 'no.' I can see the pain seep into her eyes as she remembers all the birthdays she's missed.

"I've missed five birthdays Bella, five. Let me do this for you... and for me." She fights back tears by smiling.

I open my mouth wanting to tell Bella to accept the gift but return mine and remind Esme there is no reason to buy me, a stranger, birthday gifts. Esme lifts her hand up stopping me before a single sound can come out.

"Nope, don't want to hear it. You want to be with Bella, yes?" She gives me no time to answer and continues on. "This is part of the territory, Bub. This is the way we... roll around her." We both laugh loud at Esme's attempt to be cool and accept her generosity with appreciation.

We were told by Esme, with a smile and a hug, to 'wear them and shut your mouths,' so that's what I'm doing.

I look behind me out the back window again, knowing I won't see her, but not being able to stop myself from looking anyway.

"Don't worry, Edward. She's safe with Emmett," Carlisle reminds me, again.

I have never been away from Bella since we met. Leaving her at Emmett's house was harder than I thought it would be.

We continue our drive down the highway on our way to meet Bella's father, Charlie. I'm nervous - not about meeting Charlie - about being so far away from Bella. As far as I'm concerned, I've met Bella's father - Carlisle. Charlie is a man who knew Bella all of four or five months max. He made her feel unwanted, didn't do enough to help her. He let her be kidnapped; he let her down. I'm trying hard to go into this meeting without pre-judging, but so far I'm not doing very well.

I look out the window again, then down at Carlisle's phone, which sits on the center console. I've been reminded that both Carlisle and Emmett have phones Bella can call if she needs anything - I'm just waiting for it to ring.

Emmett seemed to live in a safe neighborhood, in a decent little house. I met his wife, Rosalie, who was very friendly. She was different than Emmett. When I met Emmett, he tried to play tough, make it clear who was in his 'circle.' Rose was warm and instantly welcomed us both into her home. She's tall, thin and really naturally beautiful. She didn't look like she had makeup on but I couldn't find a flaw on her and was surprised when I saw she had a mouth full of braces; they added to her charm. I was ready not to like her, thinking she would be stuck up but was happy to see she didn't even seem to notice her own beauty. Apparently, she's a school teacher and instantly struck up a conversation with Bella, making fun of her braces saying she looks like her pre-pubescent students. I could tell she was trying to make her feel comfortable, and I appreciated it.

Bella was clinging to my side. She had decided she didn't want me to leave her after all. I felt bad but really thought it was important for me to go with Carlisle. After about an hour of being there and trying to get her comfortable, trying to convince her to stay with Emmett and Rose, she still didn't want me to go.

When Alice showed up in tears because Ryan had dumped her, Bella quickly toughened and decide to stay and comfort her friend. I was really proud of her.

"What does he know?" I ask Carlisle, not wanting to be blindsided by questions like I was with Alice.

"Uh..." Carlisle clears his throat, his fingers run across the steering wheel nervously. "Everything."

I don't ask how he knows; I assume Carlisle told him. I feel bad for Carlisle but happy I won't have to say the words again myself. Carlisle pulls into a parking spot and shuts off the car. He turns to face me and takes a deep breath.

"Charlie, he um..." Carlisle wiggles his hand a little, "he's pretty black and white. He blames himself for what happened."

Good, that makes two of us.

"He can be hard to read,; don't let it upset you. I'm sure he'll think you're great," I take this as a warning. 'Attention, Edward, Charlie will piss you off. Don't freak out on him Edward style.'

"I don't give a fuck what he thinks of me," I say, casually and honestly, smirking.

I don't blame Carlisle for trying to bridge the gap - keep the peace or whatever, but I really don't like to be warned.

Carlisle wants to respond but doesn't have a chance to because I'm already climbing out of the car and walking into the restaurant ahead of him.

"Edward," Carlisle says more sternly than I'd like, so I don't acknowledge him.

"Just try to listen. There are things you don't know," Carlisle says, catching up to me and opening the door so I have to walk past him.

I raise an eyebrow at him and continue in to meet Charlie.

Buckle up your seat belts - we meet Charlie next

Doesn't seem like anyone really cares about the teaser on the forum anymore? Let me know if I'm wrong and I'll still post one over there :)

As always, I love to hear what you think!

I've had quit a few PM's and reviews asking how I know about the homeless life style. The truth is, I don't know much. I grew up in the Portland area and am fairly familiar with the area and the Portland Rescue Mission, having donated and done some volunteering with their affiliate in Vancouver Washington, across the river. My dad was living on his own at the age of fourteen and later became a police officer. He had a heart for these kids and I guess I caught on.

My main goal while writing this is to write something realistic. With that being said, I feel that this story could've been a lot darker with drug abuse, sexual assault and violence that kids really face daily on the streets. I chose to keep the details to a minimum (in my opinion anyway) so that many people could read it without being too disturbed. It's a hard, cruel, unforgiving world out there and sadly, the lives Bella and Edward live in this story match those to real people in your communities. Except most don't have the Cullens there to help them out. Although I've done my share of research for this story, it is a story of fiction. I'd be happy to answer any questions you have, feel free to PM me :)

Here a couple of links. One to the Portland Rescue Mission and the other is a way for someone to help a foster child. You don't have to be a parent or have social work background. You're just there to make sure kids don't fall through the cracks. An extra set of eyes and ears for kids to come to if they find themselves in situations like Edward, and so many others do. I plan to do this program when school is out and I'll have more time.

http: / www(dot)portlandrescuemission(dot)org

www(dot)casaforchildren(dot)org