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She was the girl

Left alone

Feeling the need

To make me her home

I don't know what when or why

The twilight of love had arrived

-Red Hot Chili Peppers

I hesitate when I step off the ferry with Bella's hand tightly in mine. The final moments of our time together, our quiet when it's just us, is almost over. The train ride was long and by the time we reached the ferry we both were fighting to keep our eyes open. Even though the trip to Portland and back home to Bend was stressful, I enjoyed it being just us. Even though I've grown to be more comfortable with the Cullens, I still enjoy it being just us. Before our bubble bursts, Bella gives me one more kiss on my lips, and the look in her eyes tells me she feels the same way.

We walk to the curb and look for Alice's car but don't see her yet.

"She's kind of known for being late," Bella says with a laugh.

"That's okay," I say, and it is.

Every town I'm in forces me to behave like a different person. Forks is the place where I can let my guard down and see what it might like to be part of a family. At the same time, it's the place where I have to learn to be okay with Bella having more than just me - to not having her need me as much.

Sitting on the curb Bella turns and grabs my hand. "So... how do you feel about being back?"

I shrug. "It's fine."

"I'm happy to be back, but I really like it when it's just me and you."

"Yeah. I really like that too," I say, placing a kiss on her forehead. "I guess that means we just need to get our own place and fast."

"Yes." A large smile grows across her face. "I can't wait for that."

Bella gets excited and tells me how she'd like to decorate our place. I smile and nod, pretending to understand what she's saying. I don't care about the decorations. She can decorate it however she wants if it keeps her this happy.

Before we get any further into our conversation, Alice's car comes pulling into the lot.

She and Bella hug as if it's been a year and not a week since they've seen each other. Seth is strapped into his seat in the back of the car, screaming because he wants out to see us.

"Alright, alright. I know it's been a long drive," Alice says as she undoes the buckles, freeing him.

Seth springs from the car like a kitten high on catnip. He has his cars in his hands, and he zooms them around until he reaches where we're standing.

"You're back!" he shouts, before attaching himself to my leg.

"Ah, yeah..." I say, moving my leg a little trying to shake him off.

"Yes!" he shouts with a fist pump. "Mom says we can play cars on the way back." Still attached firmly to my leg he looks up at me with a big smile.

"Wow, thanks, mom," I say to Alice with mock enthusiasm.

"Seth, let go. Not everyone wants to be treated as your personal jungle gym like Uncle Emmett. I said you could play cars if Edward wants to. He might be tired from his trip."

I exaggerate a huge yawn. "Yep, pretty tired, little man."

"Aw man," he drones and climbs back into his seat.

I throw our bag into Alice's trunk and slip into the back seat next to Seth's chair. Alice and Bella chat up front, and I feel myself fading in the backseat, fatigue taking over. At some point as the car rolls down the winding roads my heavy eyes close.

"Vroom... vrooooommm,"

I feel a tickle on my arm and force one eye open to see Seth's guilty ones staring at me. He smiles when he realizes I've caught him using my arm as a racetrack for his car.

"Sorry," he whispers.

"It's okay."

"Vroom... Vroom."

Apparently not sorry enough to leave me alone.

"Do you want the red one?" he asks with a hopeful smile.

"Why not," I say, finding it hard to be the one to dash his smile.

"You're not bugging Edward, are you?" Alice asks, looking at Seth through the rear-view mirror.

"No, he wants the red car," Seth insists.

I look over and can see Seth's pleading eyes and the building panic of losing his chance to play with someone etched into his features. "Yep, the red one," I say, so Alice knows Seth isn't bothering me.

He brings the car over to me and smiles widely. "The red car and the blue car don't like each other so they fight," he explains as he brings another car down and smashes it on top of the one in my hand.

The next thirty or so minutes of the drive go like this, and in no time, I learn of all the dysfunctional relationships Seth's cars have. His movements are starting to go into slow motion. Within a few minutes he's out cold in his chair with his cars sitting in his lap.

"Thanks, Edward. He's hard to keep entertained on these long rides."

"No problem. Thanks for coming all this way to pick us up."

And it was okay. Even though I have no experience with kids, Seth isn't so bad. Alice does a good job of keeping his exuberance controlled while still allowing him to be himself.

Now that Seth is sleeping quietly next to me, I'm wide awake. I lean my head against the window and watch the scenery pass by.

"Anyway... Seth doesn't know about Aaron and after Ryan, I'm not letting him meet anyone else unless I know it's really serious."

"What about Jasper?" Bella asks.

"What about him?" Alice shrugs.

"I thought you really liked him?"

"I do really like him. Really like him... a lot, but he's not interested."

"That's not what he said, Alice." I see Bella's eyes roll from my seat in the back.

"Well... whatever, he doesn't think it's right to get involved with me while he's still working the case with the family. Why would he want to be with me anyway? I didn't lose weight last week either... I gained three pounds, Bella. It's a convenient excuse."

I hear Alice's voice break and assume I've missed something because Bella seems to understand and run her hand over Alice's shoulder.

"You're doing great and you look amazing, no matter what you think."

Silence falls between the two and right when I think their done talking for a while Bella speaks up.

"Well... When will you see Aaron again?" she asks, obviously trying to distract her friend.

I see Alice's eyes in the mirror checking to make sure Seth is still asleep.

"I don't know. He doesn't live here so... I'm not sure how long he'll be here. I know it won't turn into anything - I don't want it to - but it's just nice to have someone like me."

"Of course. You should have fun. You deserve it," Bella insists.

I must have tuned out their chatter and fallen asleep, because the next time I open my eyes it's dark and we're pulling into the Cullen's driveway.

Alice, Esme and Bella get excited and start talking right when we get into the house. I walk up the stairs and throw our bag on the floor before I fall back onto the bed. My mind is still processing everything that happened while we were gone.

I wonder what Jake is doing and assume he's sitting alone in a cell. Mrs. E should be out of the hospital by now, she promised to call once she was settled back into her house. She planned to stay with her son until she was back to normal. I think about my mom and search my pocket for her chain. Pulling it out of my pocket I run my finger across the two rings attached. I'm lost in my thoughts when I hear a knock on the door.

"Yeah," I say.

Carlisle sticks his head in. "I was hoping I could talk to you for a second?" he asks with a smile.

"Sure, come in."

He sits in the chair in the corner of the room. Sitting on the edge of the bed to face him is a little awkward but the tension dissipates once he starts talking.

"Sounds like your trip went smooth enough?"

"Yeah... it was good." I'm not sure how much Bella has told them already, but I'd like what happened regarding my mom to stay between us.

"Charlie called just a few minutes before you guys got home. He wants to come talk to you tomorrow about your friend." He watches me, gauging my reaction.

"Great," I say to Carlisle's shock.

"Really?"

"Yeah, we're... starting over, I guess."

"That's great. I'm sure that will help Bella feel better about having relationship with her father." I never even thought about that, but if Charlie and I were keeping her from connecting with him I'd try harder.

"You start at Emmett's shop next week?"

I nod my head. Even though I'm nervous to start in a new trade I have no experience in, I'm excited to earn money so Bella and I can start our new lives.

"Do you feel like you're ready to take the driver's test?"

"I think so." He'd given me a book a couple weeks before we left to study over, and I know I'll pass the driving part.

"Great, I have time Monday if you want me to take you. You're welcome to use my car to test in."

"Thanks," I say.

"Okay, you've had a long trip. If you want to talk, you know where to find me." Carlisle stands offering me a kind smile. Usually I would roll my eyes at someone with fake sincerity but Carlisle is too genuine. I almost take him up on it and ask him some advice on where a safe place would be for the rings, but I don't speak up before he shuts the door.

I lie back on the bed with a heavy sigh. Before I can fully relax again the door opens and Bella walks in.

"Hey," she says softly. "Did I wake you?"

"Nope, just relaxing."

"Alice just left; she said to tell you goodbye."

"Goodbye."

Bella laughs and playfully slaps my arm as she lies down on the bed next to me. I open my arm and she quickly scoots into my side.

"This is perfection," she says with a big sigh.

I tighten my grip on her. "It is."

~*E&B*~

Charlie and I are sitting at the kitchen table going over Jake's information. Bella and I just got back from her appointment with Dr. Carmen. Knowing they talked about what had transpired between Bella and me this weekend was beyond embarrassing, but I can see it helps Bella to have Carmen help her work things through.

"It's been a mess. The boy has no identification, and when we called his family they were no help at all."

"So there's nothing you can do?"

"I didn't say that. We're just waiting on all of his paper work to come through before he can be transferred."

"Transferred?"

"Yes, transferred. I was able to get his psych evaluation sped up, and he obviously failed that." Charlie's eyes roll, and he snorts in annoyance before taking a drink of his water.

I force myself to not respond to the way he speaks about Jake, like he's less than a person just because he's ill. Jake needs Charlie's help right now, and I don't want to open my mouth and ruin that for him.

"Where will he be transferred?"

"That's the tough part. Carlisle is talking to some people - doctor friends - up here in Seattle, and I'm working with the Sheriff's office. We'd like to get him transferred up here, where he could get treated and have a chance at a new start, but the crime was committed in Oregon, so that makes it tough."

I nod my head in understanding. I had no idea how complicated the situation was.

"He just has to sit in a jail cell until everything is figured out?"

"No, son, he's already been placed in a hospital in Oregon for treatment."

I despise how he refers to me as 'son' but couldn't be pissed once I heard that news.

"He's getting help? Already?"

Charlie's mustache twitches at my excitement. "Yep. He'll have to serve a sentence, I'm sure, but at least he can get well while he does it."

"Thank you," I say, holding out my hand - it's the only peace offering I can give.

Charlie takes it and grips it hard. "You're welcome, Edward. Thank you."

I don't know if anything will ever be good between the two of us, but old shit's been buried and a bridge has been built.

I go into the living room and find Bella reading a magazine, curled up on the couch.

After I explain to her what Charlie just told me, she says, "Wow, Edward, that's amazing."

"I know. I'm not sure he would have ever been able to get help without Charlie jumping in."

"Do you think he'll be well now?"

I shrug. "I don't know. I guess time will tell."

We hear a throat clear and both turn to face the kitchen area.

"I guess... I'll just go now," Charlie says standing in the threshold of the living room.

Bella looks between him and me and speaks barely above a whisper, her hands nervously tearing at the magazine in her lap. "I was just about to make dinner. Would you like to stay?" She looks at me, even though she's addressing him. It's the first time she's made any initiative to speak to Charlie on her own. Even though she still seeks comfort in me, I can see Charlie beaming from the doorway.

"Oh... if it's no trouble for one more, I'd like that."

"No it's no trouble. I'm going to go get started."

When Bella walks into the kitchen she makes sure to leave plenty of space between herself and Charlie. She's made so much progress, but it pains me when I see old tendencies sneak through.

Charlie comes and sits on the chair across from me. "Is she always like that?" His voice sounds pained. "When she lived with me before she was quiet... kind of shy but not like this. She wasn't scared or timid."

My head snaps up, because I'm more than surprised by his question. Since I've met him, he's made it clear that he's the father and I'm the scumbag. Even though Carlisle has told him many times how close Bella and I are he always insists he knows better.

"Uh, no, not always." I look at Charlie, and I can tell he's waiting for more information. "At first, when she showed up on the street, she couldn't walk two feet without cowering, crying or jumping ten feet in the air out of fear." My tone is much different from the first conversation we had months ago. The harshness is not there; the accusations are gone.

Charlie's eyes drift to the carpet. I can tell even though the details are hard for him he still wants to hear them. I don't know why people like to torture themselves this way, but I remember the night Bella finally opened up to me - how every detail made me sick but not knowing almost made it worse.

"I'm not sure why it was me she started following around -"

"Because you kept her safe," he interjects.

"Even so, she was terrified of me, too. She was terrified of everything."

I tell him a little more without giving him many details. When it comes down to it, this is Bella's story, her history, and if she decides she wants Charlie to know more, she can share it herself.

"She's a totally different person now. She rarely cowers anymore, she's connecting with her friends again... she doesn't hesitate at all to let me know when she's pissed at me," I say, and we both laugh.

"She's strong," he says, finally making eye contact with me, looking proud.

I nod. "Stronger than you know."

We both fall quiet after our first civilized conversation ever, but the air doesn't have a chance to get awkward because Esme opens the door and comes rushing in.

"Hi," she says to both of us, her arms filled with grocery bags.

I jump up from the couch and take the bulk of them out of her arms.

"Oh, thank you," she says with a dramatic sigh.

"Charlie, what a surprise. Are you staying for dinner?"

The two start talking while I take the bags into the kitchen. Bella's busy pouring ingredients into a bowl, and I take the chance to sneak up behind her, wrapping my arms around her waist.

She gasps but relaxes when she realizes it's me. "Smells good in here," I say, moving her hair out of the way and kissing her neck.

"Mmmm, that feels good," she sighs, laying her head back on my shoulder and her hips press into me a little.

"Come upstairs, and I'll make you feel really good," I whisper in her ear, slipping my hands up her body and over her chest. I feel her body stiffen and wonder if what I said was too much too soon. I shouldn't expect her to be cured of her fears just because we've had sex.

"Sorry, I shouldn't have said that." I take a step back and remove my hands from her body. She takes a deep breath, and I'm about to worry she's having a panic attack when she finally speaks.

"No, don't say sorry. The sneaking in the kitchen... then what you said..." she says, turning to face me. She places a sweet kiss on my lips. "You did nothing wrong. I'm learning, and if I'm honest I liked it. I just..." she struggles for the words. "Memories, you know?" She looks guilty, and it makes me feel worse.

"I wasn't thinking. I shouldn't have -"

"Don't censor yourself for me." She looks at my eyes and places her hands on either side of my head. "Please don't. What we did this weekend... I loved it. You made me feel so good... in so many ways. You're putting me back together - It will just take time."

"Something smells amazing!"

We break apart when Esme enters the kitchen, totally oblivious to her interruption.

"Thanks. I'm just about to put the lasagna in the oven."

"Oh good. Sorry I'm late, but I have the salad and bread here."

Grabbing a beer for Charlie and me, I kiss Bella and leave the kitchen letting them get back to whatever they're doing.

"Thanks," he says, as he passes a bottle opener on his key chain. "Who's coming over?"

"I think Emmett, Rose and Alice are coming for dinner."

We sit in comfortable silence drinking our beer until Carlisle gets home from work. He and Charlie start to talk about fishing out back in the lake. I feel like a third-wheel on their conversation and take my beer to the back deck to enjoy the sun before it disappears for the night.

Before long everyone joins me. Emmett, his wife, Alice and Seth all show up, and we crowd around the table outside and eat. Bella's hand is squeezing my knee under the table, but she does her best to have a conversation with Charlie. She asks him about fishing and his job. She is far from comfortable, but she is trying hard. I watch the two interact, and I appreciate how patient he is with her. For the first time I feel like they might have a chance at a relationship in the future.

I lean back in my chair and watch the activity around me. Emmett's pulling Seth from his chair tickling him, while Rose leans over them both, trying to get them to stop but failing because she's laughing so hard herself. Charlie and Carlisle are in an animated conversation, talking loudly and waving their hands in the air. Bella, Alice and Esme lean close into each other before they all burst out laughing. When Bella slips her hand into mine, I look over at her to see a big smile on her face before she joins back into her conversation. The next thing I notice is something wet, cold and slimy against my face. I turn shocked, and see Emmett, with Seth on his lap, both wide eyed. I reach up and wipe the chunk of tomato off my face.

"He did it!" Seth and Emmett yell at the same time pointing to each other.

Everyone, including myself, can't stop laughing, but soon enough Esme gets back into mom mode, scolding both of them. Sitting at this table, with Bella who belongs to this family and is genuinely happy, makes me realize there's no place I'd rather be.


The next chapter is done, and I just need to edit it. It will be up within a week!

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