Hey thanks for your reviews! I'm going to post two chapters tonight. It might seem a little slow at the moment while I'm setting shit up but it'll get going . . . x

Chapter Two

Lauren snapped awake, and it was long moments before she remembered where she was. Nadia was sitting on the edge of the bed, and Lauren saw her look over her shoulder back at Lauren. She scrambled to pull herself out of the dream, still feeling half asleep as she threw the blanket back and stretched. She felt embarrassed about how aroused the dream had made her, and had to remind herself that there was no way Nadia would be able to tell.

"You still talk in your sleep when you're really tired," Nadia said flatly.

"What did I say?" Lauren asked as a sinking feeling settled in her stomach.

"Bo's name. And a few other things."

Lauren gave herself a second to cringe, wondering what kind of noises she must have been making. She moved to crouch behind Nadia, rubbing her hands over Nadia's shoulders. "I'm so sorry."

"I've been waiting for you to tell me what's going on. I thought I'd let you do it on your own time, or maybe I wasn't ready to know it yet, I don't know," Nadia said. Lauren kissed Nadia's shoulder, hearing the way her voice hitched. Nadia rolled her shoulder away and turned so that they were facing one another.

"Just tell me," Nadia urged her.

Lauren swallowed hard, tears pricking in her eyes. The inevitability of this moment hadn't made her dread it any less. Lying by omission for the past few days had been one thing; but she couldn't keep it up any longer. She'd always intended to explain it to Nadia, she knew that her conscience would eat her alive otherwise. She had just been prolonging it knowing that it was going to make everything even harder. If she had felt self-conscious around Bo and Nadia before, she could only imagine what it would be like now.

"I don't know how to tell you," Lauren said helplessly. She'd told Nadia about their friendship and what Bo was. She'd told her all she could without really telling her anything, and now she didn't know where to begin.

"I just need to know how far it went. Were you . . . were you with her?"

Lauren shook her head. "Not exactly. We've been close friends, you know that. I got carried away. You have to understand, I was starting to think that you were never waking up."

"I mean did you sleep with her?"

Lauren cut her eyes away. She knew it would be better to tell the truth but for a fleeting moment she just wished so hard that she didn't have to. She nodded. "A couple of times. But please, please, believe me when I say that whatever was between us is over. She knows the deal, she helped me bring you back."

Lauren watched Nadia as the words sank in, emotions passing over her face, quickly being replaced by others. Disbelief, then hurt, then anger. "I think I knew the moment I saw you two together." Nadia covered her face. "She's a succubus for God's sake Lauren, you knew that from the start. I've seen her. Magical sex powers or whatever. I can't believe you'd be so gullible."

"It wasn't like that, she didn't make me do anything," Lauren said quickly, and then realized her mistake immediately when Nadia got up to leave. "Wait . . ."

She'd sounded like she was taking sides against her own girlfriend and it was the least helpful thing she could have done. But she resented the suggestion, even if she understood it. It was something she'd wrestled with for a time, analysing how much of her attraction was based on Bo's power and how much belonged just to her. The question had been settled in her mind a long time ago. Bo might be the most beautiful and magnetic woman she'd ever met, but it was Bo's heart that had always really got to her. It was in the way she treated Lauren, the way she'd fight to protect the people she cared about. It was in her fierce convictions, and in the way she smiled.

Lauren fell back against the bed. She should get up and go after Nadia immediately, but all she felt like doing was closing her eyes and going to sleep again.

It was a long day. She went out to buy food for all of them and spent longer than she needed to at the market, giving Nadia and Susan some space. Nadia was being polite and distant towards her which made her feel like shit. But she knew Nadia well enough to know that she needed time to think, and she was sure that she would talk about it again as soon as they were alone. She knew that Nadia wouldn't breathe a word of anything being wrong between them to her mother, because she shielded her mother from everything believing that she was fragile enough to break. It was one of the benefits of being with someone for so long – five years had not erased the fact that she knew Nadia inside out.

When Susan had gone to bed, Nadia came into their bedroom and Lauren looked at her expectantly, putting down the book that she'd been trying half-heartedly to read.

"I'm really, really hurt, but I've been trying to understand. I know you must have been very lonely," Nadia started. Lauren nodded, looking down at the ground. She'd tried to avoid talking about how difficult it had been, not wanting Nadia to feel that she'd ever thought of her as a burden.

"I need to know that you really want to be with me. I know how much you've sacrificed, and I want to be by your side when you have to go back there. But if you want to be with her then you have to tell me. I can stay here with mom. I don't want to stay with you if your heart's not in it," Nadia said. She used her hand to guide Lauren's face towards her, ensuring that they were making eye contact.

"I want to stay with you Nadia, of course I do. I love you so much," Lauren replied, both of them crying. Lauren sealed her promise with a kiss. There would be plenty of time for questions and explanations; there was so much Nadia still didn't know. Lauren felt too exhausted to begin.

They made love, and Lauren threw herself into giving Nadia all the attention that she deserved. They lay naked and in one another's arms and Lauren watched Nadia as she slept, telling herself that now more than ever she needed to prove to Nadia that she meant to stay.

You didn't just give up something that you'd spent the last ten years building. How could she ever just walk away, after everything that they'd both been through? Especially for what could be something fleeting. Bo had never made her any promises; had never even told her how she felt. There were times when she'd been absolutely sure that Bo's feelings were as strong as her own but maybe that had just been wishful thinking on her part.

Though it made her hurt everywhere inside, she would keep being cold towards Bo. She would make Bo understand that all they could ever be was friends, and she would have to pray like hell that it would be enough.

She would tell the lie that she didn't care, until it became true.