A/n: I do no own The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton. Furthermore, I do not own After the Ceasefire by Marianne Faithfull or Fire and Rain by James Taylor. Enjoy :)

After the ceasefire that they swore would last,
They had the strange idea of living in the past.
That's where love lies bleeding, licking at its wounds,
The times are never changing sticking to their guns.

He wasn't a bad guy, really. Actually, he was great. But he was so different from Steve … in a good and bad way. He didn't swear like Steve, but maybe she'd miss that. He wasn't as hotheaded, either. But still, she knew she shouldn't have been with him. He was everything she wanted and everything she didn't.

The car rolled down the street and she only pretended to pay attention to the scenery. His hand began to move towards her thigh and she sighed.

"What's wrong, babe?" he asked.

She doubted he really cared.

"Nothing, Tommy. I'm just thinking."

"Oh, and what about?"

"Stuff. Just got a lot on my mind."

He really wasn't so bad. She was sure that he actually cared about what she thought, but she just couldn't tell him. She wouldn't be able to find words big enough to tell him. How could she love two men at once? And love two very different, very similar men, at that ….

"How can I help take anything off your mind?"

Sure, he had another idea of help, but Evie ignored it.

"Can we just talk?"

His face dropped for a moment, but he covered it quickly. "We can talk about anything you want to, babe."

Babe. She wasn't his "babe." "Tommy, I told you, don't call me that. Please."

He laughed quietly before nodding. He had a quiet laugh, different than Steve's loud, rowdy one. "Anything you want."

"How did we meet, Tommy?"

"Hmm? I think we met in class. Why?"

Class sounded right. Right after Steve had left for Vietnam was when she'd met him. And she'd been so confused. Those times where she'd tried to stay just friends, but somewhere it didn't work; it couldn't work. He reminded her too much of him.

"Just wondering. Thinking …."

He laughed quietly and pulled her closer to him. The rain began to pour lightly on the windshield and Evie listened to the song playing. Just got to see me through another day…

She sighed and closed her eyes, letting the music take her where Tommy couldn't find her. Where things were right again and she wasn't so confused.

XxXxX

She'd finally been able to get him to leave. How he had so much energy, she'd never be sure of; she knew that she wasn't in any mood for him, though.

Bob Dylan played from the kitchen. She didn't care for him much, but Susan kept his records around the place, and besides, he was okay sometimes.

A cup of coffee in one hand and a book in the other, Evie had begun to make her way to the couch when a sharp knock on the door interrupted her. She walked over to the door, opening it a crack with the chain still in place.

"Evie ... Evie, I gotta talk to you. Please." Steve stood in the doorway, looking nervous and tired.

"Steve, have you been drinking? Or …." She wouldn't say the worst.

"No, I ain't been doing nothing like that. I need to talk to you, though. Your roommate home?"

"No, Susan doesn't get back 'til Friday," she said, opening the door to let him in. "Steve, what are you doing here?"

He not only looked tired and nervous, but that paranoid look in his eyes was back. She knew that look from when he'd first gotten home from 'Nam.

He thrust a letter into her hands for her to read and sat on the couch, waiting. She skimmed it quickly, deciphering the messy handwriting. Her heart sank at the end of it.

"Stevie … baby, I don't know what to tell you."

"Tell me what the hell to do, Evie," he said desperately. "I ain't slept in weeks, I can't eat. Evie … I don't know what to do anymore."

She sat next to him and wrapped her arms around him. She didn't know what to tell him, either. "I can't tell you, baby. I don't know."

"Take me back." He said it so simply, like it could have been done, just like that.

"Steve, I can't. I can't. Not just like that. It's too complicated."

"You still love me, don't you, Evie?"

"Steve, of course, it's just-"

"Then you can take me back, can't you? It ain't too complicated if you still love me."

She sighed and buried her head into his neck. Before she knew what she was doing, she allowed him to take her into the bedroom.

"Steve, no. Please, no."

"Evie, come on, your roommate ain't gonna be back until Friday."

She laughed quietly. "I know, Steve, but …"

"But what?" He already had his shirt off and was beginning to undo hers.

"Nothing."

XxXxX

A pang of guilt shot through her as she shifted underneath his arm. How could she have been able to tell him the truth? She began to dress and looked at the clock.

"You have work, Stevie?"

"Mmm? Not 'til … what time is it?"

"Quarter after eight."

"Shit. Not 'til ten." He rolled out of the bed and began to dress as well. Suddenly, he looked less confused and didn't look as tired. He smiled and Evie could have sworn that his face looked different; everything looked different when he smiled. His grin grew wider as he stepped closer and grabbed her waist. She wasn't expecting the kiss that came next and gasped in shock; she didn't resist it, though. Instead, she allowed her own lips to press against his until they parted for breath.

"Don't stop," she whispered.

He laughed. Not Tommy's quiet laugh, either- she didn't know which she liked better. "I'm taking a shower. That okay?"

"Sure …" she said, still lost in his kiss.

He laughed again and kissed her lightly on the cheek.

Evie shook her head before walking out of the bedroom and into the tiny kitchen to make breakfast. She wouldn't need to be at work until eleven. The smell of eggs wafted through the tiny apartment. She knew just how Steve liked his eggs. They were the same way she liked hers; scrambled with pepper and salt in them.

Her thoughts began to drift as she reached to turn on the radio. A Beatles song came on, though she wasn't sure which one. Cooking always made her think.

She still didn't know who she loved … or how she could love them both. Maybe she loved one of them more? She sighed … Steve was trying so hard. And Tommy was there for her at all the right times. He was always there to listen to her, always there when she cried. How could she choose?

A pair of strong arms wrapped around her waist and she leaned into his chest and sighed. She couldn't choose. She couldn't say no to either of them and she couldn't stop loving him. Everything about him was wonderful and too hard to leave. She couldn't choose.