Chapter 14/Epilogue
Bo wanted so badly to stay awake. Aside from wanting to be there for Lauren when she woke up she couldn't bear the anticipation; it was like being a kid on Christmas Eve. After everyone had left she'd lain by Lauren's side to watch her sleep, stroking Lauren's hair and letting it slide between her fingers. Her only thought was please let this be real, please let this be real.
Lauren might wake up angry or fearful. At the very least she would probably wake up very confused. So when Bo couldn't keep her eyes open any longer she slept fitfully for a couple of hours, one hand resting on Lauren's shoulder in the hope that any movement would alert her should Lauren wake up. Whenever she was pulled out of rest by her worries she'd put a hand on Lauren's heart or watch her chest rise and fall. Her worst fear kept staring her in the face regardless of how irrational it might seem – that something bad might happen to Lauren before she could awake.
By the time morning had come, she knew she couldn't wait much longer. The sun was streaming in through the curtains and she watched Lauren sleeping for a while, stunned by how beautiful she looked, her face beautiful and peaceful.
"Lauren," Bo whispered. No response, so she said it again louder. Then she pushed Lauren's shoulder lightly with her hand. A slight slap on the arm; a poke in the ribs. Sleeping beauty. In the end she leaned over and kissed Lauren's neck, running her tongue along the soft skin. Finally Lauren awoke with a start, jumping where she lay taking gasps of breath. Her eyes snapped open and her whole body stiffened. She looked around the room, her eyes fixing on Bo. And then a smile started to dawn like the sun.
Bo answered her smile but didn't trust herself to speak.
Lauren put her hand to her head as though she'd suffered a blow, frowning and laughing at the same time. "Well, if that isn't the biggest mind fucking I've ever encountered."
Bo laughed and looked at her with concern, brushing Lauren's hair back from her face. "Are you alright?" There were about a million questions she wanted to ask and she tried to restrain herself.
"It's the strangest feeling. It's like I can remember the last few years twice. And I can remember not remembering for the last couple of months. Do you know what I mean?"
"Kind of, I think," Bo said, her eyes crinkling with the effort of trying to wrap her head around it. She ran her fingers along Lauren's shoulder, down to her forearms and trailed them all the way down to her fingertips. It was amazing to be able to touch her – to not have to hold back for one reason or another.
They each moved onto their sides to face one another, their hands clasped together. They lay in silence for a long time, Bo watching as the thoughts passed over Lauren's face and she tried to mentally sort through her memories.
"Is it terribly confusing?" Bo asked when she became impatient.
"Maybe not as much as you'd think. It's like even though I can remember the last few years twice, the false one is kind of blurry around the edges. It's like a weird dream. It's going to take me a while to feel normal I suppose, but I think I'm going to be okay," she said thoughtfully.
"Good," Bo smiled. She traced her fingers over Lauren's lips, and smiled once more when Lauren kissed her fingertips. But then Lauren frowned as a realization dawned on her.
"God, Bo," Lauren said. "The last month or two must have been hell for you. I'm sorry I put you through all of that."
Bo shook her head. She would do it all over again if it meant having this moment. As hard as it had been the pain of it was already receding, and all that she could feel now was the greatest relief of her life. "Did I do the right thing though? Are you happy?" Bo's voice broke over the words.
"Oh," Lauren looked at her, pretty much as though she were crazy. She reached up her hand and placed it along Bo's cheek. " You never gave up on me. I owe you my life."
Bo moved her face to kiss Lauren's palm. She was flooded with a happiness she couldn't quite remember ever having inside of her before. There was so much to figure out – for instance exactly how much trouble she were going to be in with the fae elders (not that she had ever much cared what they thought). She also had no idea what kind of position Lauren was going to have in their world now, or whether The Ash would come demanding her servitude again. But all of these questions seemed insignificant in light of the fact that her universe had been righted.
She and Lauren had always made a good team. Bo was struck with the corny thought that there was nothing that they couldn't figure out if they worked together. There was only one obstacle she could imagine getting in their way now.
"And Nadia?" Bo asked gently, not sure what kind of reaction the question would be met with.
Lauren smiled sadly at her. "She's been given the chance to move on now. A real chance. She's free. I'm at peace with that – and with it being over, I mean. I hope she's happy now."
Bo rolled towards Lauren, surprising her by straddling her and pinning her arms up above her head. Lauren looked up at her, her shock giving way to desire.
"Now I need you to make a promise," Bo said, grabbing her arms tighter for emphasis.
"What is it?" Lauren asked, looking up at Bo and grinning. She was squirming against Bo in a way that made it difficult for Bo to concentrate on what she was supposed to be saying.
"That you'll never do anything that stupid ever again. That you'll come to me next time, instead of going off and doing something impulsive like that again," Bo said, continually re-pinning Lauren's arms as she tried to get them free.
"Ha! We both know I'm not the impulsive one in this relationship," Lauren pointed out, then looked embarrassed. "I mean – you know . . . what I mean . . ."
Bo shook her head, a rush of happiness going all through her. She had the strangest urge just to laugh and laugh, to do something to release the giddy happiness she felt. "Don't go looking all sheepish now. I think after everything we've been through we can call this a relationship. If you want to."
"Well of course I do," Lauren said. Bo had released her arms and Lauren slid her hands up Bo's waist, running her fingers over the curve of her hips, then pulled her down.
Bo felt the difference in the way Lauren kissed her. Oh, their kisses when Lauren had been without her memory had been lovely. More than lovely. They'd been sweet and sexy and hot and they'd left her aching for more. But it wasn't the same as knowing that the true Lauren loved her and wanted to be kissing her, that she had no reservations whatsoever about her.
Lauren was grabbing the front of her tank top now and kissing her for all she was worth, and Bo could hear the want in the way she moaned and feel it in the way she was thrusting up against her.
There was no need to go slowly. They had done plenty of that. Lauren rolled her onto her back and Bo wrapped her legs around her, loving the gentle weight of Lauren pressing down into her. Something about feeling that weight made her feel safe, not to mention turned on. Because it wasn't about seeking to have her hunger sated – the thing that drove most of her sexual interaction - Bo found that with Lauren she loved having things done to her more than she ever had in her whole life.
All of the weeks of tension had concentrated down into this point. Being around Lauren had made her perpetually wet, always ready for this moment. She couldn't wait. Bo grabbed Lauren's hand and pushed it down between her legs. Lauren more than took the hint and started stroking Bo through her clothes. Bo whispered into Lauren's ear what she needed her to do and Lauren's sure fingers pulled her pants and underwear down and then sank into her, while Bo took Lauren's face in her hands so they could kiss.
They made love again and again, still not quite able to believe that they now had all of the time in the world. They slowly shed their clothes as they went, and the morning melted into late morning and then it was noon.
Lauren eventually went out into the kitchen to get them some food, and returned to the bed to take Bo some breakfast. She felt sore and tired all over; she was literally weak at the knees. Having sex with a succubus required more energy than with a human – but she wouldn't have it any other way. She liked the way it made her feel. Like she had given all she could give and taken all she could take.
"So now we can talk properly, tell me, what did you think of me? When I walked into that doctor's office, and you didn't know anything about me?" Bo asked, stretching like a cat out on the bed. Lauren noticed proudly that she looked very satisfied.
"Speaking of which, I've really got to get a better job. I was so depressed about the break-up and the loneliness I took the first job I could find. I mean really, I need something a bit more challenging. And that Toby, Jeez," Lauren ran on.
Bo grabbed her hand to still it, because Lauren had been gesticulating wildly. "Slow down. There will be plenty of time now to get everything in order."
"You're right, you're right," Lauren said.
"Here," she passed Bo a plate with some cut-up fruit on it. "So you wanted to know what I think." She pondered, trying to imagine how much she should tell. "Well, I thought you were very beautiful, of course. The most beautiful woman I'd ever seen. I was wary of you though."
"Wary?" Bo said, and Lauren rushed to soothe the vaguely hurt look in her eye.
"Well, yes. I always had that strange feeling about you like I knew you better than I should. And I felt like I was in trouble. It took a lot of willpower to not jump into bed with you at the earliest opportunity," Lauren explained.
Bo grinned sexily at her. "Well, the feeling was mutual."
"But then I started to get to know you, and I thought you were so sweet and kind," Lauren said, smiling at the memory.
"Ah but what about when I told you about the fae? You really thought I was crazy didn't you?"
Lauren rolled her eyes. "Oh my god, yes."
Bo couldn't help laughing. Now that they were safe and together it didn't seem so tragic. "Well, you came along with me in the end. What was it that made you agree to it?"
"Because I knew there was something special about you. I trusted you even if when my head was telling me I shouldn't," Lauren replied. "In fact, I was kind of falling for you."
"You were?" Bo's voice was thick. She now understood the phrase 'cry with happiness'.
"Yeah. I was," Lauren confirmed.
"Come here," Bo said, taking the plate that was in Lauren's hand and placing it next to them on the bedside table. She pulled Lauren until Lauren was underneath her, looking up at her with a look that made her melt even more than she already had.
"I'm never going to let anything happen to you ever again," Bo said, as she leaned down to kiss Lauren, their mouths fitting against one another's perfectly, like they had been made for it.
Bo smiled against Lauren's mouth. It was fate – how many people could say that no matter how they'd met, no matter how trying the circumstances, their love would exist and thrive against the odds? Lauren loved her like nobody ever had; she saw beyond her body and her power. She could trust in that completely. She had never felt so lucky in all of her life. It was like she couldn't wait to do all of the couple-y things with Lauren that they'd been missing out on. She wanted to be Lauren's girl, and for Lauren to be hers.
Lauren didn't contradict her declaration. She could tell Bo that they were living in a dangerous world because she was human and Bo was not, and that there were always going to be forces trying to drive them apart. But Lauren was too happy. She felt anything but cautious right now. Any threat paled into significance when compared with the idea of not being with Bo. She would risk anything for Bo, follow her anywhere, and now she knew with absolute certainty that Bo would do the same for her.
She already had.