Notes: I know, long time since the last chapter. My life is crazy.
So, Lavender's turn. Another hard person to write, especially as she is supposed to be in a semi-concious state for most of this. I always thought that Lavender got a raw deal in some areas of fandom. So she was a hormonal teenage girl, that doesn't mean that she is a bimbo.
Also, I know that people have disagreed with Dean's death (and will about Lavender's too), because they aren't confirmed deaths. But they are not confirmed survivors either. Hence the lack of an AU label. If you can show me a credited source that shows otherwise, I'm more than happy to put that AU label there. But not before. Please stop telling me I'm wrong. I am not contradicting canon, only some people's fanon.
Chapter 3: Lavender - Torn Asunder
Her world had dissolved into fiery pain.
She doesn't know how long she's been caught in this awful state of near-consciousness. The darkness fluttering beyond the fire filling her senses promises release, but that primal childhood fear of the dark stops her reaching out for it. Intuition tells her once she touches it, there is no return.
She tries to marshal her thoughts to distract her wandering mind. At first, she tries to force herself into wakefulness. She doesn't get very far before all she could feel was red hot pain overwhelming her.
No go on that idea then.
She then tries to listen to the blurry chaos that continues outside of her cocoon. She hears voices with varying levels of panic tainting their muffled tones, but can't hear any familiar voices, nor make out any actual words, and soon looses interest. She detects fear, but is not coherent enough to recognise the source of the voice's fear, nor the angry tones reprimanding them.
The present is too painful, too confusing and blurred for Lavender Brown, so she tries to recall what has happened, hoping to clear her own confusion.
She remembers the trio's return to Hogwarts, trading a few light-hearted barbs with Seamus while trying to quell the dread pooling in her stomach. Standing with Parvati and Padma while preparing for the battle ahead.
Most of the battle itself blended into a macabre blur. Defeat one Death Eater only to be faced with another. She had started off fighting with Parvati and Padma, but lost them in the confusion of battle. She ended up with a group of Ravenclaws, some of her year, some older former students.
Dodge, shield, curse. Dodge, curse, dodge, shield, run for your life. Watch each other's backs while darting out more curses, run some more when rubble explodes around you.
Lavender remembers a comment from Harry during one of the original DA meetings. That it was luck, intuition and good reflexes that saved you in battle more than knowing a lot of spells. She could see that in action today (yesterday? A few days ago?).
Did everyone else survive?
The thought stymies her momentarily. In this hazy world, which she is starting to think maybe potion-induced by healers, she has no way to know what has happened to her classmates. She assumes they won, otherwise she would most certainly be dead, rather than being treated. Unless of course, she already is dead, but she hurts too much for that to be true.
Despite what some people may think of her, Lavender Brown is no empty-headed bimbo (Even Hermione didn't really think that, once everyone's hormones had settled back down at least). She knows that good people will have been lost. She saw the bodies during the battle, but the battle-induced tunnel vision had prevented her from identifying anyone. Whether this is a good or a bad thing, she is not sure.
Of course, she could have taken the easy way out and evacuated with the younger years (well, those who actually complied with McGonagall's order).
But Gryffindors do not flee before a battle.
She knew the risks. She just chose to ignore them. She would not leave.
Once again, the Gryffindor students live up to the reckless nature they are so often accused of.
The Patil twins she hadn't seen since they were separated at the start of battle. She thought she'd seen Dean and Seamus early on too. Neville had been rushing around, trying to find Hannah she suspects, while blasting Death Eaters. Harry, Ron and Hermione she didn't see, but she remembers Hermione's voice shrieking to her as she'd fallen, fire filling her veins-
If she had been able to gasp, she would have.
The wall. The fire from bites and scratches as she fell with another being attacking her. She doesn't know who -what- hit her. She'd been momentarily distracted by Trelawney determinedly throwing crystal balls on to the Death Eaters below, and suddenly the air had been pushed out her lungs and her world tilted and then plummeted. Pain overtook her then, but the whirling dervish of her attacker was removed by a blast that coincided with her memory of Hermione's scream.
Then her memory is blank.
-"Waking up?" an unfamiliar voice says uncertainly.
"No!" says another voice "She's not ready to wake yet, give her another potion—stop that! She's no danger to you, silly girl, do your job!"-
The voices close by confuse her. It's like they're afraid of her. Why, she can't...
No. Nonononono...
Grayback. It must have been Grayback. And that meant...
A thrill of horror brought Lavender to shrieking wakefulness. The healers around her immediately tried to force a hideous tasting concoction down her throat.
"Relax girl, you'll make it worse thrashing like this-" a commanding voice penetrated the teenager's brain.
With consciousness came a searing awareness of the open wounds on her body that mocked the pain she had felt in her semi-wakeful state.
She was a monster.
She wanted to cry, only to realise she had no strength left to do so. What could she possibly do now. She could hazard a guess that Professor Lupin had been treated as second-class most of his life, was that now to be her fate? To have people judge her on something she didn't choose without knowing her?
When she was lulled back into her hazy world between sleep and wakefulness, the darkness was nearer. The fear was still present, but Lavender chose to ignore it. She wanted the peaceful realm of sleep where she could hide for a while before facing herself.
But she wasn't able to see the darkness overtake her while she dreamt.
Lavender Brown never did get to see the scars left on her body.
As always, feedback is love. I know I struggled with the tense this time. Hope you enjoyed it.