Twilight x StarWars: A New Hope
Edward Skywalker and Princess Bella stand panting on an extendable gangplank. Across a huge, cavernous drop into the ship's core lies another gangplank, and safety. But the scrabbling on the other side of the door they just exited alerts Edward to their impending capture/execution. Using his scavenged blaster, Edward shoots the control panel that opens the door, trapping himself and the princess on one side, and the horde of troopers intent on taking them dead or alive on the other side. The gangplank is now without extendability.
"That should hold them for a while," affirms the would-be Jedi, nodding and mentally patting himself on the back. Saved the girl, avoided getting either of them perforated, and managed to keep his hair perfect. Now all he had to do was get them off the Death Star.
"We're stuck here," prissed Bella dully, crossing her arms. She glanced down at the door, in which was appearing a glowing, soldered line. "And they're cutting through."
"No worries," replied Edward, thinking on his feet (hard to do, his singular brain cell was occupied at the moment). He removed a grappling hook from his confiscated trooper belt, swung it around, and -
"OW! SONOFA - !"
"Oh, sorry! Sorry! Is your face okay?"
"Just get me off this platform, retard."
"Fine, fine." Edward muttered something under his breath that sounded like 'witch', swung the hook again, and looped it securely to a protruding pipe on the first go. Wow, he was on a serious roll today. With a swagger, he gathered Princess Bella under one arm, attached the grapple cord to his belt, and took a Tarzan-swing across the space.
Unfortunately, he forgot how much a girl weighed. And he'd used his weak arm to hold her.
"AAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIGGGGHHHHH!" screamed Bella as she dropped down the miles-long shaft to her death.
Edward landed on the platform, and looked over the edge at the tiny, smoldering dot on the core's surface. "Crap. That's gonna be hard to explain."