Behind a wooden police barrier, a crowd of interested onlookers watched, argued, and tried to push through the line of officers keeping them in check. Some of them wore reflective safety vests, hardhats, and work boots, and others wore bell-bottoms and fringed jackets.

High school students Edward, Bella, Alice, Jasper, Rosalie, and Emmet sat around tree. Or, more accurately, they had chained themselves around the tree, which was a century-old oak, and those chains were covered by segments of PVC pipe. Debating and bargaining with them had proved fruitless, spawning only rants against The Man. From the depths of their tie-died and groovy hearts they were singing, "Weeee shall not, we shall not be moved..."

"Dear, sweet Peter," groaned one of the police officers standing around them. "Make them stop."

"Weeee shall not, we shall not be moved..."

"That's it!" blustered a construction crew manager, stomping up to the officer. "If you don't get these kids out of here so my guys can start working, I'm filing a complaint!"

"Take a number," shot back the officer. He turned to his superior and murmured, "Seriously, though, what are gonna do?"

"You got pepper spray?" asked the superior thoughtfully.

"Yeah."

"It's non-toxic and relatively harmless. The press can only hate on us so much. Use it."

The officer hesitated for a moment, nodded, and drew the canister from his belt.

"BRING IT ON, ENEMIES OF MOTHER EARTH!" shrieked Alice, twisting in her chains to see around the tree's girth. "Isn't this great, Bella?" she asked brightly.

Bella's peace-sign earrings flashed as she sighed. "They're going to pepper spray us," she responded matter-of-factly.

"So? Anything to save this beautiful tree!"

"It'll ruin your makeup."

Alice sobered, closing her eyes. "For the cause. BRING IT ON, PIGS!"

The officer leveled his canister at Edward's face, holding the button for two seconds. Edward yelled, "ARGH! It burns!"

"Be strong, Ed!" urged Jasper. "Don't let go!"

"You're all getting a face full of this stuff if you don't let go right now," ordered the superior. He nodded, and the subordinate leveled the canister at Rosalie's face. She took it bravely, gritting her teeth, and tightened her hold on the chains.

"Your turn, little missy," sighed the superior to Alice. The daisy-chained petite took the spray with a cry, but her skinny arms went taut as she gripped with renewed vigor.

"And now, for you."

"Oh, crap," said Bella disinterestedly. The can hissed. "ARGH!"

"Be strong, baby!" called Edward from the opposite side of the tree. "It'll wear off!"

"Why didn't you talk me out of this?" called Bella back.

"You wanted to save the tree, love bug!"

"Oh, come on. I talked you out of smoking pot because it shrinks your family jewels, because God knows, you need all the help you can - " she started to cough. And hack. And gasp. Her face began to erupt in awful red splotches.

"You only used a two-second burst," reasoned the superior officer. "Did she breathe it in?"

Five minutes later, Bella was moved. In a body bag, to an ambulance, which departed from the scene without its sirens or lights.

"She was severely allergic to peppers," mourned Alice, burying her face in Jasper's tie-dyed t-shirt.

Emmet shrugged. "Harsh toke, I guess."