Centuries of love
Chapter 4: First Century: Augustus and his First Love.
"Mikan chan, are you sure you don't want to go home yet? " Anna, my classmate asked.
I smiled cheerfully as I put the tray of sakura shaped chocolates in front of the counter to cool.
"I'm fine, I just wanted to finish this so that I could give it to Natsume kun first thing in the morning! I hope he likes my chocolates… just seeing him eat one from my batch of chocolates will make me the happiest person in the whole wide world! " I exclaimed gleefully. "I mean, I don't care if he throws the rest, as long as I saw him eat my hand made chocolate…I'll be fine with that. " I admitted while blushing furiously.
Anna patted my hand and smiled. "You're such a sweet girl, Mikan chan, to think that you stayed all night just to make those chocolates for Natsume kun… "
I smiled back at her. "If you really love someone, you always give your best in everything you give, because that's what makes a gift worthwhile… "
"Yes, and that's why you're a very sweet girl, Mikan chan because you sacrifice everything for the sake of the happiness of others… "
SPLASH!
I bolted awake at the splash of cold water on my body, err…soul.
"What are you doing slacking in the air? " Yoichi snapped.
I glared at him as my eyes descended on the bucket that he was holding. "You could've shook me awake instead. "
He shrugged. "I can see it won't work, so why bother on doing it lightly? "
I rolled my eyes. Yoichi sure is a rude person, yet for some reason, I can't stay mad at him because of his cuteness.
"Quit floating like an airbag and look down there. " He commanded.
I was irked at being commanded by a child, but I followed, curious as to why he asked me to do that.
I furrowed my eyebrows at the people passing by, different coloured long drapes acted as their clothing. I can't help but to twitch at the clothes of males, they usually wore pale colours like dirty white, pale blue, or white. They looked like unsexy and ungraceful bitches wearing a mini skirt with belts secured on their waist while single thick straps covered one of their shoulders, particularly, the left. Some of them are have a round hairband which was situated on their temples, surrounding their head, and gladiator sandals.
The women have the same attire, only theirs is flowing, and the colours are more vibrant shades of red, violet, green, blue, and black, with the same accessories as the males.
Fashion police check? Attire for males are SO uncool.
I also noticed the typical market style of the place, children running around, large males carrying clay jars of water or ale, some of them are shouting and yelling about how good their products are.
I also saw some soldiers dressed in the same way as the males, except that theirs was a more sophisticated look. Instead of a hairband, golden, metallic masks that covered their cheeks adorned their heads, the masks has a huge feather sliding down at the top to the end of the mask. It was waving side by side like the tail of a horse as they move from one place to another. They were also carrying huge, metallic swords.
From the looks of it…this place looks like…
"Are we in Rome? " I mused.
"Yeah. "Yoichi nodded as he flew in the sky looking at the people. "Someone in this time was enjoying the effects of your Existence energy, and it's your job to find that soul…now… " He empathized. "Or else, they will cause havoc and change the course of history. "
I looked at him in a horrified manner. "But I won't have enough time to look for my heart in two days with loads of people roaming around in this time! " I complained.
He glared at me in return. "Look idiot, it's your heart. Not mine, if there is anyone who knows your heart better than anyone else, it should be you. So you should be able to find it. "
I felt being hit by his words.
He sighed. "I also have a mission as well, and like you, I only have two days to find it, so don't you dare think that you're alone in this matter. "
I stared at him. He may not voice his thoughts too much, but I can understand what he meant.
And for some reason, I felt being ashamed. He's smaller than me, younger than me even, but I never heard him complain about these things.
"I see…thanks Yoichi. " I said as I smiled at him.
He snorted as he started to drift away. "And by the way, just so you know, you will be able to recognize your heart when you see a blinking light on a person's chest! If you do, then it's your heart! Nosoul could ever hide that in their bodies because it's translucent!" He added as he flew away towards the west direction.
In seconds, he was gone.
I exhaled as I began to look around. Yoichi was right, instead of me mopping around here, I should do something and look industriously for my heart.
So I started to search, I searched the market place where I am now, walking with the other people and passing through them at the same time. Nobody seemed to mind my presence, after all, I'm just a lost soul.
After that, I began searching on different places, flying around and covering as much area as I could. I didn't waste my time looking around the place, it's not like I'm a tourist or something.
It was then when I saw a huge castle.
Curious, I decided to enter, flying from pillar to pillar until I heard one musical laugh.
For some reason, something pulled me towards that sound, I followed it, until I reached a huge oaken door.
I passed easily, and then, the first thing that met my eyes was a gorgeous young man of about 13 years old, lying on a humongous bed. He's hair was dark brown and was flowing in deep waves that ended until his nape. His eyes were majestic blue, and his skin as pale as the snow.
His tall physique and parchment skin made him look like a sickly, weak teenager. Despite this, books and parchments filled his table. I guess it was all about politics.
His pale reddish lips curved into a smile, obviously laughing and enjoying a conversation with someone. I saw him laugh melodiously again which made him alive in my eyes.
Intrigued, I roamed my eyes beside him, he was talking to a young and beautiful blonde girl with lovely, cobalt eyes.
I narrowed my eyes at this one, for some reason, I have a feeling that there is something wrongwith this chick.
When my eyes darted on the window, my eyes widened.
Shoot!She doesn't have any reflection!
I looked at her again, then back at the window, and back to her again.
And it continued like forever.
But for some weird reason, the gorgeous boy doesn't even notice, or minded that this blondie doesn't have a reflection, all I can see in his eyes are sparkles of joy everytime he looks at the girl.
I narrowed my eyes, wait, this isn't right.I'm sure there's something going on in here that I can't figure it out…something was bugging me, and my intuition is kicking me on the ass and was telling me to be more observant.
Not unless if he's got a third eye or something, but I don't think so…
So I focused on her, as I did, I saw the treasure in front of my eyes.
A piece of my heart.
And it was glowing faintly on her chest, so that's why I felt she's not normal.
Because this girl was one of the souls who took my heart.
I quickly flew towards her, aiming to snatch it, end my mission, and begone…
However, as I reached her, I saw the eyes of the young man. His eyes were sparkling with joy, and he looked so alive as he spoke and looked at the blonde girl's soul.
I stopped at midair as I realized the truth of my actions.
Great, I feel like a biatch for doing this and disturbing other people's happiness. Why do these souls making things harder for me?
Shit, don't tell me it's my darn conscience again! Oooohhhh! I hate it when I felt like destroying something.
Well, technically I am, but hey! She's using my heart!
"Hey, Augustus, do you know that there are lovely dandelions that are blooming at this time? " I heard the blonde girl speak as she smiled at him. "When I go out to the castle gates later, I'll give you a basket, alright? That way, you'll be able to see a glimpse of the world behind those lonely curtains. "
Augustus? As in Augustus the adopted son of Julius Caesar? As in one of Rome's greatest leaders? "
I stared at the sickly teenager in front of me, that can't be, I heard that Augustus handled Rome in a skilled and efficient way, and being an emperor of a country as magnificent as Rome equals knowledge, muscles and strength altogether combined. And looking at him, it's so unbelievable that this sickly child is Augustus, one of Rome's famous Emperors.
I saw Augustus smile as he reached the blonde girl's hair and caressed it.
"Thank you, Arianna, that's very sweet of you. " He said as he pulled her to him and gave her a tight hug.
He caressed her hair, which made the girl blush.
"You're always making me happy. " Augustus added. "You always visit me here, and you're always taking care of me, just like a real wouldbe fiancé should. I'm curious though, what makes you stay with me while there are young men who are much much stronger than me that they could protect you with one arm and who could make you entertain more than I could? "
The girl blushed even more. "I told you, I love you, Augustus, more than anything in the world. "
Eww…CORNY.
I saw Augustus sigh and caressed Arianna's head even more.
"You know, Arianna, I've always wanted to become an Emperor. Eversince I was chosen by Julius Caesar as his heir, I've always involved myself in politics. The moment he chose me, I already envisioned myself sitting on that throne and governing Rome in a way that no other Roman emperor could handle. I swore to Jupiter that I will win all the wars of Rome, and murder anyone who opposes us, I wanted to lead Rome in victory, always in victory and I will never stop until I achieve my goals, I will expand our empire as far as I could go, I would govern the trading markets, I will work hard to fight crisis. And I will end the civil war at all costs once I'm in power. "
Augustus then released the girl, but he held her chin and made her look into his deep, blue eyes.
"I love you, Arianna. " He said seriously. "I love you for who you are, you make me happy, you make me smile, and you're always there for me. When we reach our right age, I wanted you to become my Empress. Till forever, love me, serve me, stay with me, be the flower in my heart, and together, we will rule Rome, and we will be for eternity... my sweet Arianna."
Okay, seriously, they're CREEPING me out!
"Augustus… "
But he didn't let her finish, as he quickly took her red lips into his pale ones and gave her a kiss. OMG! He can kiss a soul?
Wait…
I stared at her, well, she's not technically a translucent one, she's got a body, but her flesh was enough for a soul like me to hold on to as well as for the alive humans to get ahold of.
I'm not going to lie as I look at them petting each other. Honestly, I can't help but to feel envious at the couple, they kiss and lap at each other in such fierce passion that I can see the flames hovering from the cold, cemented floors.
After a minute of heated kiss, I saw Augustus look at Arianna's cobalt eyes.
"Will you promise to be with me forever? " He asked.
I saw her smile and nodded. "Yes, of course, I love you, Augustus. "
Not for long, girlie…
He smiled as he embraced her again.
"I'll ask the ministers to perform the Bridal Ceremony tomorrow which will bind us together in front of Jupiter's altar, so that in the future, no one could ever tear us apart. " He said sweetly and sincerely as he took her chin again and kissed her red lips.
Getting tired of all the mushy stuff around them, I quickly went out outside as they devoured each other again, seriously, I don't know if I'm going to puke or if I'm going to go and find some bitter coffee to ease the sweetness around me.
I lowered my eyelashes as I looked at the closed doors. The soul who got a piece of my heart looked like a sweet and nice girl, and I hate to shatter her illusions of love and marriage…
But…
Her feelings are not real…
It was fake…
Because the heart that she's using was not hers…
It's mine…
I leaned on the pillar as I waited for the soul to come out of the door.
When it opened, I saw her coming out, carrying a jug of water.
She's a soul, so it's only natural that she will see me.
"Hey… "
I hate to be rude and mean, but I have to, I can't be soft hearted when it comes to my own heart.
Afterall, only a fool would be generous enough to give her life to others…
And I promised that I would never become one ever again…
I saw her froze for a moment, then slowly, she turned her head to face me.
"You're the soul that I saw earlier in Augustus' room. "She said in shock.
"Yeah, I was there because I sensed that one of the pieces of my heart was stuck in your chest. " I said blandly.
She looked up at me bravely. "I'm not doing anything wrong, all I wanted was to be with Augustus, nothing more, nothing less. "
"Yes you did missy, you stole a piece of my existence energy then using my heart to feel his emotions, good job, blondie. "I sneered at her. "If he found out that you're nothing more but a soul, do you really think he will still make you his fiancé and future Empress? "
She narrowed her eyes at me, obviously insulted at my words. "Being an Empress is of no use to me, as I said earlier, all I wanted was to be with Augustus, nothing more, nothing less. "
"Really? " I snarked as I flew towards her and grabbed her almost flesh covered arm, which thankfully, I was able to touch. "Do you really think that he will still love you if ever he found out that you're not a real alive human being? Do you really think he will be faithful on you if ever he found out that you can't bear him a son? Do you really think that he could manage the truth and let a soul endanger his own position by claiming that he's insane and seeing spirits? Do you? And what if he also found out that the heart that you're using is not yours? Do you really think he will stay with you if he found out that you're making a fool out of him? "
I know I'm being harsh, but you need to present her the reality. Right now, this soul is blinded by love.
She bit her lip and tears started to form in her eyes. Great, I look like a heartless bitch to her right now.
"I love him… " She whispered. "I always loved Augustus the moment I saw him. But I wasn't able to confess to him because I was bitten by a strange insect and died. I thought that…I thought that…the Gods smiled at me when I saw you die, I thought that…if I could have another chance to live…I thought I could give myself a chance to show him how much I love him, to be noticed by him, and to be with him forever and ever… "
"But you're not going to be with him… " I replied dryly. "Once my Existence energy is gone, you'll be a goner too… "
"I know that! " She halfscreamed as she snatched her arm away from my grasp. "But I wanted to be loved by no one but him! I wanted to feel him, to be embraced by him, to be kissed by him. That's all I want, even if it's just a short time, as long as he could hold on to a piece of my memory, no matter how little it is, as long as he can remember me in that short span of time, then I will be the happiest woman in the world! "
I stared at her…for some reason, I felt her words resonating deep within me, back when I was young, and foolish…
And deeply in love…
She started to sob in a pleading way. "Look, I know this heart wasn't mine, I knew that stealing other's existence energy is bad. I knew that from the very beginning, but I wanted to be tied to him forever, even if he goes and marries lots of women after my second death, I wanted to be his first, his first in everything. If you could give me until tomorrow, just tomorrow, just let me be binded to him as his fiancé, just let me treasure that day, that one single day that I knew I would be his eternally, then I'll be the happiest woman alive…and you can have your heart back… "
I felt my invisible insides go topsy turvy, seriously, she'll give it all, for what? For that day only? Why would she go through all that shit? Why don't she just watch him above the skies?
Is true love really that stupid?
"You're stupid. " I deadpanned. "You're giving away everything just for that guy? He can replace you anytime. And even if he did marry you, he could have as many wives as he could. Why bother to go all though this trouble? Why don't you just watch him above if you really love that good for nothing rascal? "
She closed her eyes and put her hands in her chest.
"As I said, I'm deeply in love with him. That's all…so deeply in love that I wouldn't care less about what will happen to me afterwards. "
"You're stupid. " I said again as I rolled my eyes.
She opened her eyes and she smiled at me. "Everyone becomes stupid when it comes to love. "
I groaned as I turned my back at this fool, from my experience in the showbiz world, there's nouse arguing with a foolishly in love and blind sided girl, you'll never win, so the only choice that I have? Give her what she wants, for now…
"Fine, go ahead and make a fool out of yourself. I'll give you until tomorrow to prove that foolish love of yours. " I said as I turned my head swiftly and glared at her. "But I'm warning you that if you try to escape, I swear that I'm going to hunt you down. And I swear to the Gods that your happy day will be a nightmare. Remember that. " I threatened as I flew above the skies, never waiting for her reply.
"So in the end, you didn't get your heart? " Yoichi asked as he sat beside me on the rooftop of the castle.
"She's foolishly and madly in love, what could I do? " I replied as I looked at the dark skies, it was nighttime now. "Sometimes, love could make anyone as stupid as hell. No wonder many people commit suicide because of love. "
"True, but love is one of the most powerful thing in the world. " He said as he looked at the skies with me.
I let out a bitter laugh. "Love would make you a fool. Real love only exists in fairy tales, in reality, it doesn't happen. Cheating is always in the way. "
I saw Yoichi whirled his head. "What is cheating? " He asked innocently.
"When you started to like someone while you are committed to another. " I answered, there's no use sugarcoating on Yoichi, he can understand things like a mature adult.
"Like outside and hidden relationships? "
I nodded as I slumped my back on the hard bricks. Funny, I didn't even feel any pain. "And it's not good, Yoichi, believe me, it's not a happy relationship to start with, because there is no trust which is one of the foundations of love. "
"Did you…did you experience being cheated? " He asked bravely.
I smiled sadly. "Nope, I didn't have any boyfriend. "
"But you looked so…bitter. "
I let out a bitter laugh. "That's what they told me, they told me I have a stone face too… "
"So why? " He asked.
I closed my eyes. I don't have to cry, am I? I've got no more tears to cry, I stopped crying 6 years ago. The day I promised that I won't cry anymore.
"I fell in love, once… " I started slowly.
I didn't hear any complaints so I continued.
"I was so in love with this guy, for some freakin' reason. He was rude, he was obnoxious, he was a pervert, and he was definitely not one of those people who've got a nice thing to say to others. He's kinda like you… " I giggled.
I heard him groan. But then, I smiled.
"But you're a lot cuter than him. " I said as I opened my eyes and looked at him, only to see him blushing. Aw, how adorable.
"However…that was just his exterior, I for one, don't believe that he was really like that, so I began finding and searching things about him, practically everything about him. "
"And when I did, I found out that underneath those cold façade that he usually wore, he was actually gentle, nice, protective, and caring and is willing to sacrifice his self to others, even make himself look bad for the sake of other people, he was loyal too and doesn't break his promises no matter how hard it could be. Not many could see that, but I did, and then, slowly, I started to fall for him. "
I let out a lopsided smile as I remembered Natsume's handsome face.
"He's got raven hair, the most tantalizing ruby orbs that will make your knees go weak at a glance, he's nose is perfect, and his thin lips suited his face very much. He was gorgeous, I have to admit that, and many girls desired him, girls that are much much more beautiful than me, but that didn't stop me from hoping. So I worked my butt off to make him glance at me, even just a glance."
"But…like many harsh realities, someone is always out there to get you, and put you down. " I sighed as I remembered Luna Koizumi, the bitch who always bullied me and hated me for the reason that I was also aiming for Natsume as well.
"And that girl did everything to discourage me from expressing my feelings to the one I love. " I said as I bit my lip, trying my best not to gulp bitterly, I remembered being harassed by her everyday, from taking my shoes to spilling juices on my clothes, but I didn't give a damn.
"I tried my best to ignore her threats and her bad doings, that is, until the sports festival… "
"I was put in detention by our math teacher, simply because I was wrongly accused of hitting him a crumpled paper in the head by my enemies' companions, and so, I was put in detention, and was punished to fix and clean the chairs for the whole day. "
"I was about to fix half of the chairs when I saw my classmates barged in and were looking very angry. And they all accused me of destroying the mascot that they all worked hard for. "
"And then, they started to throw painful words at me, I tried to explain and reason out to them that I didn't do it, that the evidence that they had was not real. It's not me, I would never destroy something that they worked hard for. But no one seemed to believe me, not even my best friend. "
I really wanted to puke. Bestfriend? Puhleasse…. Just seeing Hotaru makes me want to rip her head off and crush it to the nearest rock and watch it bled and be eaten by the crows.
And besides I became a destroyer, but not of love, but a destroyer of hopes and dreams the moment I decided to enter showbizness.
"As I tried to reason out, I took the arm of my crush, hoping that he'll believe me of all people… but what he did next was something I would never ever expect. "
I gulped. "He… pushed me away, but in the process, I hit my head, causing it to bled. "
"They hurt you just for a piece of stuffed animal? " Yoichi asked in disbelief.
I snickered. "They all worked hard for it, as they say, or should I say it was blood, sweat and tears? "
"That's stupid. "
"Yep, I agree. "
"So what happened after that? "
"When I woke up, I just found myself at the hospital, I never wanted to experience that kind of environment again, being hated by everyone is just too much for me, I don't think I would last in a place filled with hate and wrong accusations, so I begged my mom to transfer me overseas. "
"I see… "
"So that's it… " I said as I sat up and looked at him. "Tragic lovelife, eh? "
He never said anything though, he just stared at me.
"So, what method do you think should I use to crash the bridal ceremony? " I joked, trying to change the subject and ease the heaviness that formed inside of me.
He rolled his eyes. "Just go and get it stupid. Don't let Arianna take over you just because she was in love, you have to get, don't let her live in lies, it's not a good foundation for relationships. "
"Fast learner, aren't you? " I teased.
He rolled his eyes again. "Whatever."
But then, he got serious, and then, he looked away.
"Hey…listen… "
"Hmm? " I asked.
"Can I… "
"Can you what? "
"Can I sleep on your lap? "
I stared at him.
He looked away. "That is, if you want to… you can sing to me, if you want too as well, afterall you're voice isn't the ugliest in the world. "
I laughed as I took his head on my hands and caressed it. It was an insult, but I can tell that he was praising me indirectly.
"Thanks… " I said as I caressed his hair. "Thanks for everything, Yoichi… "
"For what? " He murmured.
"For listening to me, and telling me important things. "
"I have to, you're the most stupid pop star I've ever met. "
"And you're the most rude yet cutest little boy that I've ever seen. " I retorted.
We then looked at each other…
The laughed our hearts out under the moonlight sky.
I stared at the castle where Augustus was living in.
The sky was clear, bright, and sunny, as if the Gods weren't against this betrothal arrangement.
But…it wasn't true…
Because sooner or later, I will have to cause havoc.
I was about to enter when I heard a soft, sweet voice.
When I turned around, I saw it was Arianna. Wearing a silky white single strapped dress which was secured on her left side. Gold, braided hairband was used to adored her hair, her bangles were in the same colour too, which adorned her wrists, biceps, and ankles.
She looked like goddess.
"So you came to visit me? " She asked as she went towards me, I saw that the piece of my heart blinking so wonderously on her chest, which was really odd considering that it was just a faint light yesterday.
Does it also reflect the feelings of the person?
Well, I guess so, looking at Arianna's happy face, I can sense that she was influencing my heart in a different way.
"I'm not the type to let my belongings be snatched away. " I simply replied.
She smiled at me. "Thank you for letting me do this, I owe you a lot. "
I blinked at her. "You're thanking me even though you knew I'm going to kill you later on? " I asked in disbelief.
She closed her eyes. "Yes, but for a different reason, I'm thanking you because if it wasn't for you, I would never be here and spent the short days of my life with Augustus. "
I bit my lip. She really was a sweet girl, while I in return was just so mean…
"You can come to my betrothal ceremony, I would really appreciate it and would be glad to share our love to you. " She offered as she looked at the whole exterior of the castle.
"I'm going to miss this place… " She whispered and smiled. "Anyway, I need to go, see you around. " She said as she ran back to the castle.
I looked at her, her head was bent, but I can see that she was fighting the tears that was forming in her eyes.
I sighed as I sat down, floating. I don't like what I'm feeling at all, I feel like I would rob her off her life and happiness.
Well, technically, I've been doing that, but all those people deserved to be trampled, they have ruthless ambitions, even worse than the devil himself and was willing to go on extremes to achieve that, but seeing that showbizness is a form of survival, I made a move to fight back, and besides, like any other competitors, I wanted to win in my own dream game, and no one, not even those ruthless bitches and jackasses could ever stop me from reaching my dreams.
However…
Right now, I felt…ashamed. I felt like Luna, taking away her happiness, in one snap. And she's not a bad soul. She's a good girl, and she was willing to return my heart to me after her memory was installed to Augustus.
Don't let Arianna take over you just because she was in love, you have to get your heart, don't let her live in lies, it's not a good foundation for relationships.
Yoichi was right, I'm being mean, yes, but I'm willing to present her the reality. And that includes her not living in a life filled with lies.
I went back to staring at the humongous castle in front of me…
I made up my mind, I'll get it, I'll get my heart no matter what.
I leaned on the white pillars as I watched Arianna and Augustus walked hand in hand to the center aisle. Both of them are wearing white, silky flowing dress.
I looked at Arianna first, she lookedso happy. Her cobalt eyes twinkling and she was smiling from ear to ear.
I looked at Augustus next. He was mimicking the same expression as her. And I noticed though, that his pale skin became slightly reddish, and his posture was straight and commanding. He looked totally different from the one that I saw earlier, the one that I saw was sickly pale, while this one was the opposite, he looked strong, like he could conquer an empire.
Wow, true love can do that in one day? Or is it just excitement?
Then I looked around, there aren't much people though, all of them are clad in white robes. And all of them looked very happy for the would be couple. Well, I'm not sure, if I know, some of them might be harbouring deep anger towards the would be couple, afterall, you'll never know who was surrounding you.
They are walking towards the jaded statue of Jupiter, their God. Beside it are huge torches planted on the cold cemented floors, and at the center, just across Jupiter is a priest who was garbed in white robe as well. In front of him is a bonfire.
I furrowed my eyebrows as I watched the priest's expression. He didn't look too happy at all, and he looked as if he doesn't agree to this farce.
Well, he's a priest, so it's only natural to expect that he's one of those people who got those what they call a sixth sense. A term which didn't apply at all to them at this time.
When the couple reached the aisle, the priest then raised his hand, read some scripts from a thick book which I never bothered to decipher and listen to, come to think of it, it's a wonder why I understood the languages of this people while I'm a Japanese. Hmm…maybe it's because of the Gods that sent me here. Maybe they had installed a translation device on my soul before they sent me here. Besides, there's nothing worse than feel being alienated in a time where you cannot understand the languages. Added to that, it will be harder for me to search if I could not understand the language that the people around me are speaking.
After almost an hour of boring lecture, I saw the priest took a light weight torch from underneath, lighted it using the bonfire, and then put it inside the huge torches. And the people watched as smoke formed in the air.
After some minutes it formed a huge glob of gray, it looked like a fluffy cotton candy, and in an instant, it exploded into countless beams of gray trails.
Everyone gasped in surprise when they saw the smoke flew in different directions.
"Oh my gosh! "
"It didn't fly straight in the heavens! "
"And it's gray! Isn't it supposed to be white? "
"What in Pluto's name is going on? "
"Dear Neptune, save my soul! "
I watched as the people suddenly went into a horrified frenzy. They started buzzing at each other like bees, and giving Arianna shocked and horrified looks. Augustus looked shocked as well and was staring blankly at Arianna.
"You… " The priest started as he pointed his index finger to Arianna. "You're not a human being, aren't you? I knew it from the moment I saw you. I knew there was something wrong about you. I knew it since the day I saw you and didn't see any reflection coming out the moment I saw you pass in the mirrored hallway. And it was proven right in here because the smoke was gray, not pure white, gray is a symbol of other presences, and other presence and other non human creatures are tainted. Augustus was a pure human, so obviously, you, my dear, are that presence. "
All the people let out a shriek of shock and fear. I saw Arianna getting pale.
"What are you? A nymph? An imitation of a goddess? A sorceress? Or perhaps… " the Priest trailed as he narrowed his eyes. "A member of the undead? "
The people's gasps are getting higher and higher and it was forming a wider tension that it spread like a virus within seconds.
I was staring at Arianna wide in shock. Oh my God! What would you do now, girlie?
"She's one of the undead? The one who will curse our souls? " One of the women asked as she glared at her.
"So that means, she was able to pass through the walls like a ghost! She's a monster! " Some jeered cruelly.
I rolled my eyes at this, seriously, the ignorance of the people at this time were so out of control, do they have any IQ at all? Didn't they know that smoke could be affected by black ashes or other chemical factors? Jeez…
Oh yeah, I forgot, we're in first century…sheesh! It's so hard to adjust when you came from another time!
"This is outrageous! She wanted to make our future ruler fall in love so she could turn us into of her kind? " Others protested.
"Oh my Jupiter! She's going to turn us into brainless slaves! "
"We should get her! Tie her in the pole and burn her! "
"Yes! Get her! We should not let our future leader fall in her hands! "
"Wait a second- " Augustus said calmly.
"Nay, our leader was being poisoned in the mind! We should get her, now! " One of the women said as she glared at Arianna again. She was also the one who heightened the Priest's accusation.
I stared at her. She was a natural redhead. A strawberry blonde, she looked like a bitch with her light green eyes, and despite the anger and fear in her eyes, she was looking at Augustus in stark hunger. Ah, I see, she wanted him all to herself.
What a bitch.
"Yes, we should get her! "
"Burn her! "
"Scald her! "
"We should hide the kids now! "
"Torture her! "
They were about to howl even more when Augustus stepped up and glared at them.
"By the power invested to me by my father Julius Caesar, I order that you all STOP THIS RUCKUS RIGHT NOW! "
The crowd stopped ranting as they looked at Augustus, his blue eyes getting icier every second.
"How dare you, you insolent Romans to ignore the future Emperor of Rome? " He thundered as he glared daggers at them. "I have the power to punish all of you, so you better close that dirty mouths of yours before I ask the soldiers to put everyone in this hall to execution! " He said as he glared harder at the priest. "You, what makes you think that my would be fiancé is not human? " He commanded.
The priest bowed. "But my lord, the smoke, didn't you see it? It's not clear white, it's gray, if she was human, then it should be pure white. "
Yeah, nice reasoning, Einstein. Colours are colours, how in the world will it affect the betrothal ceremony?
"I don't see the sense of colours impacting our future marriage life, Duvari. "
Hah, take that.
"Yes, but it is a symbol. Humans have pure, white soul. While Gods and other beings are in contrast. They are black, a symbol of countless adultery, infidelity, and sins. And if we are going to mix white with black, then it will result in gray colour. "
Aren't humans sinners as well?
I saw Augustus held his breathe.
"And in every marriage, you saw, that the smoke was pure white, a symbol of two, pure humans being tied to each other, and most of the time, the smoke will fly straight to the heavens, a symbol that the Gods approved the betrothal, but in this case, it flew to different sides, which means the Gods doesn't approve of your betrothal, my Lord. " the Priest explained.
Augustus then slowly looked at Arianna who was pale and was bending her head.
"Arianna my sweet, is it all true? " He asked. I can see that he was hoping that she would say no.
I saw Arianna raise her head, tears started to form in her eyes.
Without a word, she slumped her body on the ground and cried.
"'My lord… " She sobbed. "I have always, always loved you, eversince I saw you strolling around the castle. As I glanced at my appearance, I am proud to say that I have everything a man wants: beauty, heart, and intelligence as well as skills, many people say I have a great chance to become your bride, but that was all eradicated while I was walking in the woods… "
"I heard that the recent flower, called dandelions sprang up in there, I heard goddess Venus just planted that flower in honour of finding a new mate, and in return, she created the dandelion as the simple pledge of Love. And I wanted to find one and give one to you, as a symbol of me and my true love… "
"But…I wasn't given the chance to do so, before I could pick up the flower, I strange, flying insect bit me, the poison was so strong, that I died on the spot within minutes… "
Augustus blinked at her.
She then tilted her chin, showing her tear stained face.
"And when I was given a second chance to live, I took it, no, I stole it, because like any other woman who was madly in love with you, I wanted to see the chances that I would have with you, and when you gave me a chance, I was very happy, so happy that the Gods wouldn't even match it no matter how many jewels they gave me."
She bit her lip. "I treasured everything that happened between us, I love you, my Lord, Augustus…more than anything else in the world… " She said as she smiled and stood up.
"Arianna… " Augustus said, I can tell his throat was getting thick.
Arianna took his face in her palms and smiled at her. "This is my last day, I thought it will be special, I wanted it to be special. I wanted to be your first, first in everything, my lord… " She said as she smiled, while tears kept on flowing on her face. "If you wish to punish me because you think I made a fool out of you, or if you think that I'm not a human being, then you may do so, but I'm telling you, aside from my unexplainable existence, I never lied to you about my feelings… "
Everyone got quiet, even me. Her voice was full of love and devotion, it's as if no one could ever match it in the world…
She's really a fool…
And I'm afraid, so am I…
Groaning in irritation, I took a semi huge rock and threw it on the window to create a distraction.
CLASH!
"W-what is that? " The people asked as they jumped away from each other and horrified to see a shattered glass.
"I thought so! This is a cursed ceremony! "
Is that so? I mused. Cursed huh? I'll show you what curses are, morons!
So I threw more stones, causing the people to get hit and get bruises. Darting the stones to different directions like a bullet.
Satisfied that the people were busy acting like paranoid chickens waiting for my next attack, I flew as quickly as I could and hurriedly yanked Arianna's arm.
"Come on! " I hissed at her. "Don't act like a martyr and let your self be punished for the name of love! For pity's sake, you already gave everything to him! "
"But… " She reasoned.
"Just give him a true love's kiss! " I shouted. "That'll be enough! "
Thankfully, she nodded, and without further ado, she took Augustus face in her palms again and gave him a chaste kiss on the lips, which caused the second to widen his eyes.
"I love you… " I heard her whisper and smiled at him. "Augustus, promise me that you'll become one of the best Emperors of Rome, alright? Promise me that you will be one, and, if fate will allow it, I'll meet you on the other side… " She said in finality.
Augustus stared at her.
"Times up! " I intervened as I took her arm harshly and together, we ran away from the temple of Jupiter.
"Look, she's getting away! "
"Don't let her get lost! We have to get her! She's evil! "
"Come back her, you undead bitch! "
We ran, well, actually, I flew, but she was running so hard.
"Hey! " She said while catching her breathe.
"What? " I asked.
She smiled and inserted her palms on her chest, the part where my heart was located, and when she reached inside it, she snatched it out of her and handed them to me.
I looked at her.
Her smile got wider. "Thank you for letting me use your heart to feel his emotions, and I hope you'll find the other pieces of your heart, Mikan… " She said as she ran even more faster.
Before I could react, I stopped and looked ahead of where she's running towards to…curious as to why she suddenly gave my heart back to me…
She's running towards the cliff…
I froze and stared at her in shock. Before I could stop her, I saw her look at me, and gave me a sad smile.
"I have enough of wonderful memories, I can rest in peace now, thank you very much, Mikan… " She said and without further ado, she jumped towards the cliff…
That seemed to knock me on my senses, and when I did, I immediately followed the path that she took, but stopped when I reached the far end of the cliff…
"NO! " I shouted as I ran towards the edge of the cliff and looked at her.
But when I looked down…
I didn't see any body that float in the dark waters …
As if she just disappeared in thin air…like a smoke…
I stared blankly at the dark waters below me, I don't believe it…I can't believe that she's gone already…
Just like a snap…
I stared at the flowing waters for awhile…just staring blankly, with no emotions or whatsoever clouding my face.
She didn't ask for anything at all, all she asked was a day for her to be close to the one she loved the most and let him know that her heart belonged to him and none other.
I was about to move my hand as if trying to reach her, when I heard Augustus' voice rang in the air.
"Arianna! " He screamed as he ran towards the cliff and right past at me. He was about to follow his lover when some men held him back.
"Let go of me! " He screamed as he squirmed out of the male's grasp.
"My Lord, please… " One of the advisers soothed.
"What do you mean please! My lover was gone! And you expect me not to mourn for her death? And what will I do next? Dance in happiness? " He snarled ferociously at them.
"But my Lord… "
I looked back at the whole scenario, Augustus sure was in love with her, and he was, no doubt, wanted to follow her through the grave…
When he kicked one of the men in the shin, he managed to get out, as he was about to jump, I saw the fast gliding of a pristine white skirt.
And before I knew it, she was in front of him, and without any word, she raised her hand and edged it towards his cheek.
SLAP!
Augustus' eyes went open wide from shock, and his right cheek became red and throbbed a bit.
"Stop this ruckus at once, Augustus! " I heard a powerful yet feminine voice shout in anger. And as I looked up, I saw a woman who had great resemblance to him. If I'm correct, this must be his mother.
I saw him look at her.
The woman then suddenly glided towards him, held his cheeks and put her forehead on his.
"Augustus, remember who you are… " She said as she closed her eyes. "You're the future Emperor of Rome, you cannot let the death of someone you love so dearly take its toll on you. Arianna loved you, my son, more than anything else, and she did all of us a favour when she spared you… "
"She's not a witch or a demon or a member of the undead! " Augustus' growled under his teeth.
"I know, I understand, but listen to me, my son, Arianna's time was up, yours is not yet. " She said as she held him closer. "You have a great future ahead of you, Augustus, before she left, she wanted you to become one of Rome's greatest Emperor, didn't she? So instead of moping and sulking around, do as what she wishes, not just for her sake, but for you as well…my love… "
"But it hurts…it's painful mother… " He said as he cried.
"I know, but you have to get over it, sooner or later, the pain will be washed away like the blood on the surface of the soil… "
"Mother… "
"Augustus, think about yourself, think about of me, think about Julius Caesar, the people of Rome…they are all depending on you, they put their fate in you, my son, will you allow Rome to be supervised by other invaders? By other foreign powers? Are you willing to watch your own people suffer and become slaves in their own country just because of your own selfish love?"
I saw Augustus raised his head, he then looked at his mother, then to the people of Rome who was looking at him with an utmost sign of respect.
"Think about us, Augustus, do you know what will happen if you leave us? " His mother pleaded. "Please, if you really love her, if you really love Rome, then become the Emperor, become what we're all envisioning you to be, that is how you show your love and your respect to the woman you love the most. "
I saw Augustus bent his head, I saw tears fell from his face, and it flowed for awhile…
Then, afterwards, he raised his head, gone were the look of gentle boy façade in his face, gone were the gentleness, gone were the weakness, and most of all…
He's tears became that of a light smudge, smearing away his past.
Instead, it was now replaced with zealous determination, and manly strength as he took his golden sword from his waist and pointed it down to the ground.
He looked at his mom, then to the Romans.
"I, Augustus of Rome will make this oath to you, and to Jupiter, and to my father Julius Caesar… " He said as he squared his shoulders and raised his chin, then took his sword and raised it to the sky.
"I swear to lead and bring eternal glory, to Rome and to all its citizens, as one of the most powerful countries in this time! " He thundered. "From this day on, the sickly Augustus, dies today, and the mighty and strong Augustus shall rise, and together, we're going to bring Rome everlasting victory! "
People jeered and howled in return. While his mother cried in happiness, glad that she was able to stop her son at the brink of time.
"Hail, Augustus! "
"Hail our Lord, Augustus! "
"The new emperor is back!
"He will save us all! "
"Hail, Augustus! "
I watched, as people howled in delight, and without further ado, they took his legs and carried him to their shoulders…happy they their leader have seen the light that they were hoping for an Emperor.
As they all walked back towards the temple, I saw Augustus glance at the cliff one last time, taking the dandelion that was stationed on his chest, he took it slowly and released it in the wind…
I saw his lips move, none of the people heard what he said, but I heard it.
Yes, very crystal clear.
"Goodbye, and see you in the celestial world, my sweet and only dandelion in the world... "
I saw him close his eyes.
"My first love…my gentle angel… "
"My irreplaceable lady… "
"Arianna, mylove… "
I closed my eyes as he finished his sincere farewell.
"Yes, goodbye…sweet Arianna… " I said as I opened my eyes and looked at the clear, blue skies.
"So you got your heart? " Yoichi inquired as I saw him waiting outside the temple.
I nodded and slumped my butt on the stairs.
"I feel…like a bitch… " I said in daze as I looked in the sky. "I mean, I know I am one, but Arianna is not a bad spirit, she's sweet and lovely and gentle, as well as loving… " I rambled.
"What? You regret taking your heart and your existence? "
"No, but…I feel sad…I mean…all she wanted was to become his…and then..and then…I…I… "
I saw Yoichi exhale.
"Look, baka, you did theright thing, you did your best, you gave her the chance, a day to treasure her memories with Augustus, you should at least be proud of that little generosity. If she had an unlimited time, she will never appreciate the treasures of life."
I let out a short laugh. I got what he's implying, he's telling me that I did my best, and that was enough, so I should stop blaming myself.
"I got it…thanks, Youichi… " I said.
"So, shall we go? I mean it's almost night time, and our second day is up. " He said, trying to hide his embarrassment.
I giggled at this.
I could get over this, I know I could. It's my first time, that's why I'm experiencing it…
But in due time, I know I would survive this, I know I could do this, and I know I could make it and finish this mission.
I'm willing to fight to live my life again.
Smiling at him, I stood up.
"Okay, come on, let's- "
I stopped when I saw the oaken doors open, and out came the Priest who accused Arianna and the redhaired bitch who deepened the accusation.
I saw them talking jovially, curious, I signalled Yoichi to stop and listen.
"I can't believe that this will happen! I mean, yes, it did happen, but I didn't know that faking Arianna's existence will result to Augustus deciding to become an Emperor, not that I'm against it though… " The red haired bitch said as she smirked evilly. "Good job, Duvari for leading the people and Augustus into the belief that Arianna was a member of the undead! That was a fantastic fabrication! Even I believed your story was true. "
I gasped at this, so they just planned the whole thing? They planned for sweet Arianna to be eradicated in this world?
Cruel bozos!
"Now that Arianna is gone, you'll become Augustus's concubine. " Duvari finished as he smiled at her. "As long as you continue filling my stash of treasures, I'll forever do as what you bid, Louella, my lady. "
I rolled my eyes. So bitches and jackasses already exist at First century? Hmm…I wonder if she's Luna's first ancestor? Well, looking at her, they do have the same strawberry blonde hair though. Or maybe I was exaggerating things.
Louella let out a triumphant laugh. "Oh yes, now that Arianna's case is cleared, I can have Augustus at the palm of my hand! And then I'll become the Empress of Rome, and then together, we will rule Rome, and then finally, the whole wide world! " She said, crazed as she took a pouch and scattered the golden coins in the sky. "Yes! Tonight, we should celebrate! Come one, Duvari, we're going to the liquor store and swoop down all the bourbon that they have in there until our stomachs couldn't take it! "
What a delusional bitch.
I heard them laugh again like lunatics as they walked past us and into the dark road.
"That wasn't very nice. " Yoichi observed. "Destroying the last day of the sweet girl just for their own benefit. "
I halfsmiled. "What can you do? Jealousy and being envious of someone is a part of human nature. "
He shook his head. "I wish they'll go to hell. "
"Me too… " I said.
"Not unless… " Yoichi trailed as he smirked at me.
I suddenly became uncomfortable at his super cute voice.
"Just a little lesson might be good. " He said as he pulled me towards him and whispered something to my ear.
I smirked after him, he was really a smart kid.
"Hey, are they there yet? " I asked as I fixed my black wig.
Well, technically, I the only physical thing that I have is the scary black wig, Yoichi said that he will take care of the rest.
"Almost, just wait for a sec, hag. " He grumbled while looking from below.
I rolled my eyes. Yeah, wait for a sec, I'm waiting for 3 freakin' hours already!
"There! They're coming, hag! Now go and position yourself on top of the stairs! " He commanded.
I groaned at this. I really hated being commanded by him, but I've got no choice since I also wanted to kill the Louella bitch myself for hurting and causing pain to sweet Arianna during her last day. My friend here in the First century. Or so I thought, since she was kind to me.
When I heard footsteps, I began positioning myself, I stretched my legs and my arms on the ground, mimicking a spider's position, and when I see those two morons, I will start crawling down the stairs slowly, like the one in the Ringu movie. Yoichi told me that he has the ability to summon evil spirits, as well as give scary forms of illusions to souls like me.
Whoa, his is useful for scaring bastards during Halloweens, or maybe give them sleepless nights for a month, or maybe a year…
Once I saw Duvari and Louella pass the road, I began crawling down the stairs which casued some shuffling in the dark front of the road.
"Hey did you hear something? " I heard Louella ask while carrying a big bottle of expensive looking bourbon.
"No… "
Is that so? Maybe I should sing then?
"One two, buckle my shoe… " I started, lowering my voice and making it creepy.
I saw them froze, so I continued.
"Three, four, shut the door… "
I saw them stiffen even more.
"Five, six, pick up the sticks… "
I saw them look at each other, and I can see a sheen of sweat forming in their foreheads
"Seven, eight, you won't get away… " I hummed as I crawled out of the darkness.
I saw Louella gape and pointed her index finger towards the stairs where I was crawling down, using my hands.
I saw Duvari opened his eyes in shock as they saw me crawl out of the darkness, and down towards the stairs, my black wig was concealing my face.
"Are you ready for the surprise? " Yoichi asked, I can sense him stifling a laughter.
"Yes… " I answered slowly as I raised my head gently.
"Nine, ten… " I trailed as I jerked my head up and looked at them in the eye. Widening my eyes in the process.
"You're gonna DIEEEEEEEEEEEE! " I shrieked and shook my head like a person suffering in seizure.
I heard Louella and Duvari shout at the top of their lungs and ran like hell towards the city where the lights are apparent.
After making sure they were gone…I laughed very hard, Yoichi followed me afterwards.
"HAHAHAHAHA! " Me and Yoichi laughed.
"That was fun! " I said in between snickers. "Did you see their face? It was priceless! "
"I know, baka, that's why I'm laughing. " He said snickering.
"By the way, am I really scary? " I asked.
He quickly took my hand and together, we flew towards the nearest booth and I looked at the mirror to see what Yoichi did.
To be honest, even Iwould freak out!
In front of me is a look- a- like Sadako, the main character of the Ringu movie. My black wig was obviously scary, and through Yoichi's illusions, I possess a pair of scary red, bulging eyes who were out of their sockets and my skin was sickly green.
Now I imagined why the both of them ran like hell towards the city lights. I can't even imagine it while shaking my head earlier and widening my eyes, I must've looked very scary.
"So, are you happy now? You taught the bozos a lesson, so I think that's enough. " Yoichi mused. "When they tell that to the Roman officers, the officials will say they're a bunch of crazies. "
I laughed as I said that. Then slowly, I opened my palm and revealed a piece of my heart.
And it was blinking furiously.
Taking off my wig and shaking Yoichi's scary illusion, I took his hand and grinned at him.
"So, where are we going next? " I asked.
"2nd century, duh. " He said as he looked up above. "Though I don't know what kind of situation we're in next time. "
I nodded as we both flew towards the sky. When we reached the moon, a purplish black portal suddenly emerged within the clouds. The colours swirled a bit, then afterwards, it opened like a huge gap of an open mouth.
And then we entered.
And watched as the portal swirled its colours in a magical mixture, before stretching up a bit and shrunk bit by bit in seconds.
"Whoa, Natsume, look! There's a chocolate under your desk! " I heard Koko shout gleefully.
I decided to snoop at them, and see how will Natsume would react when he sees my hardworked chocolates. So I decided to hide underneath my desk and wait for them.
"That's different, usually, girls hunt you down whenever it's Valentines day because they want to shove their chocolate straight to your mouth. "
"I think this girl just wants you to taste her chocolate. " I heard Ruka followed as I saw Natsume took the wonderfully crafted wrapped chocolates which I bought at a very expensive price. "Maybe you should try one, Natsume. "
I saw him look at my chocolate and I clasped my hands in prayer. "Please, please, Kami sama, please let him eat at least one of my chocolates! Just one, just one taste of my love is enough for me! "
It seems that Kami sama was with me today, because I saw Natsume took the bag, open it, and took a sakura shaped chocolate.
"Whoo! Nice! " Kitsuneme hooted.
He popped one on his mouth and chewed.
"So how was it? " Koko asked curiously.
He smirked. "Not bad. " He said as he took another one.
"Hey, can I have one too? " Koko asked. And he gave him one.
"Whoa, this is so good! I mean chocolate with a honey orange glaze inside!Whoever made this must really know how to cook! Well, it's a lot better than Sumire's, hers is a burnt chocolate! "
Except Natsume, all of them laughed. But despite that, I can see that he was also smiling, though in a quiet way.
I waited until they were out, I saw Natsume carrying my bag of chocolates.
I sighed dreamily and put my hands on my chest and closed my eyes.
After making sure no one was around, I went out of my desk and jumped in joy.
"Yay! Natsume kun loves my chocolates! " I cheered happily as I skipped in delight towards the hallways.
"I should start to learn how to cook other foods too, so that when me and Natsume kun get married in the future, he won't starve! " I said in determination as I skipped even more and smiled.
"Yes, I will be the best cook and will be the best wife and mother any man could ever dream to be! I will learn how to cook, to clean, to do chores, and to raise children, all for the sake of my dream of building a happy family with Natsume kun! " I vowed as I punched the air with my fist.
Then, I stopped suddenly and bent my head.
"That is, if he falls in love with me in return… "I muttered.
I opened my eyes instantly the moment I dreamt about that.
I remember I was so good in cooking, but then, after I went abroad, I stopped doing all those domestic chores, saying that they were just a waste of time and instead, focused on being an ambitious pop star bitch that everyone would be envious of.
Back then, I was young…and foolishly in love.
Just like Arianna…
I felt the warm hot liquid starting to form in my eyes. All those memories of sweet nothings suddenly rushed through me the moment I got a piece of my heart and inserted it inside of me.
Are those the memories that I tried to regress deep inside my heart after all those years because remembering them will cause me a lot of pain and suffering?
Did I really kill that part of myself? The sweet and innocent Mikan Yukihara who was once madly in love with Natsume Hyuuga?
And then replace her with this cold, heartless and bitchy Mikan who got used to the dirty world of showbizness?
I bit my lip to prevent my tears from falling.
After that incident 6 years ago, I remember not making any contact with anyone, I remember just wanting to escape, escape from everything, and in the process I became cold and distant. All I wanted was to be the best and to prove to anyone that I can also produce aces of my own, I tried to work my ass off to discover my talents and improve my weakness: I studied hard, beat anyone in my way wether by blackmailing or cheating or hacking the files of the school and getting the other ideas of other people as long as I get my way through and as long as I succeed. I also remembered cheating through my way towards stardome, it wasn't because I'm not talented, but I don't want anyone to get in through my dreams, so I did what every silent criminal does, do sinful acts underneath the shadows. Either I put broken pieces of glass in their shoes or putting pepper on the hairspray of my contestants, or damaging the equipment of my opponent. I didn't give a damn if they got hurt or injured, as long as I won in the end. That's how cruel and selfish I've got in through the years. After that mascot incident, I tried to forget my heart, murdering any slight twinge of guilt that I experience whenever I trample someone underneath my feet or crush that person's hopes and goals in life.
Like they said, I don't give a damn about other's tears. They're not the only ones who are suffering the harsh realities of life.
I suffer too…up until now.
The people around me are correct, they are very correct.
Mikan Yukihara…
The superstar without a heart…and a soul…
Not just metaphorically…
But literally as well…
Please review!
Thanks for reading!
Sorry for the very late update, I've been very busy at school. And I'm trying my best to update my stories, one of these days, I'm going to update the Raven Bride. So please bear with me:)
I wanted to use ancient language, fact is, my first opinion was that, write this story in Roman language, but I changed my mind in the end because I don't want to go and be hassled by translating the story again in English. It will be too much on my part.
Thank you for all your support.