"Well, this place looks lovely," the doctor said gazing at the foyer.
"So it is your first time here," Maxwell said. "None of my employer's guests say that a second time."
"Why, is there something wrong with it?" Ditzy asked nervously.
Maxwell smirked. "Let's just say the manor is in tune with its owner's personality."
He then led the two ponies down a hallway. The walls were strewn about with portraits.
"Doctor, what these things?" Ditzy asked nervously.
"It's called art, Ditzy."
"I know that, but what's in the art?"
"Nothing worth looking at, except for me of course."
The two stopped.
"Hey, look at me when I'm speaking to you."
They turned their heads to see a painting of a teenage girl in a red dress.
"Is that any way to treat the most beautiful and powerful mage of all?" the girl spoke in an irritated voice.
"Doctor, did that painting just talk?" Ditzy asked in shock.
"Don't worry, miss," Said the painting of a man a frock coat, "We're not going to hurt you. Besides, it's not like we can get out these frames."
"Now look what you've done, Nigel," remarked the old lady in the frame next to him. "They're just staring at us like every other person that comes in here."
"Actually," commented a man in a lab coat hung next to the girl, "only 93% of the guest make that expression."
"Oh, give it a rest, Sergio," barked the girl.
"Oh, there you are," Maxwell said reappearing. "I see you've taken an interest in the collection."
"Just what kind of art is this, Maxwell?" The Doctor asked pointing his sonic screw driver at the paintings.
"What else?" Maxwell said smirking. "The art of conversation."
The ponies were finally led into the ballroom. It was massive, with at one end a tiered platform which sat a giant pipe organ. And sitting at the organ stood a slouched figure playing a charming waltz. The sound reverberated around the room.
Then figure stopped playing, and turned around so the two nervous ponies could see him clearly. He was tall, with short, well-groomed hair the color of soil from which sprout thick, curly sideburns. He wore a royal blue tailcoat and pants adorned with a white cravat.
"Oh," the man said, "It's your pony form." He got up and walked down onto the ballroom floor. "Don't take me wrong, there's nothing wrong with being a pony. It's just that there's going to be some logistical problems, not to mention there's the issue of the lunch I've prepared. The chef is going to have a field day when he finds out he has to remake half of the food to suit herbivores."
"I'm sorry," the Doctor said, "but I have just some questions I'd like to ask you. Just where are we? That is, what planet are we on, precisely?"
"Oh, dear Doctor," the man said chuckling, "this isn't a planet at all. It's the Dimensional Kingdom of Hammerspace."
"Hammerspace?" the Doctor said surprised. "That really exists? I thought that was just something animators came up with to explain spacial inconsistencies."
"Doctor, what are you talking about?" Ditzy asked confused.
"Ditzy, don't you see? That's why the coordinates read as zero. We're in a different dimension."
"A different dimension? That would explain the strange creatures."
"What strange creatures?" the Doctor asked puzzled.
"I think she's talking about me, Doctor," the man replied. "Ditzy, is it? I believe the term you are looking for is Humanoid."
"Humanoid? You mean like Humans?"
"No, I mean like bananas." He pulled out a piece of poster board out and placed it in front of Ditzy. "Here's your sign."
"Wait, where did that sign come from?" The grey pegasus asked in confusion.
"Well, we are in Hammerspace," the equine time lord chuckled. "I just realized something. You haven't told us you name. I believe your butler said you were the Duke of something."
"Now I get it," the man said. "This is your first time meeting me."
"Of course it is, why wouldn't it be?"
"Let's just say it's my turn to say 'We meet again, for the first time.'"