Only You Understand My Pain

Kakashi x Hinata

Chapter 5

Talking to Ghosts

Looking around he was surprised to not find a certain heiress staking her new claim near the memorial stone. Sitting down he leaned his back against the smooth obsidian stone. After the Sounds first attack the Leaf village council decided a new memorial had to be built since the other regretfully had run out of space. The new one was over five feet tall and like a giant flat rectangle slab standing at attention. It was made purely from black obsidian stone. A rather rare mineral rock for the area. Kakashi laid his head back. He sat on the side with the older names. He looked over his shoulder his eye taking in his teammates names.

"So I finally got a day to talk with you two without a certain moonstone eyed vixen stealing my time. Can you two explain to me why this woman is vexing me so? I mean I have known Hinata for a long time. I can even remember when she was little. The first time I saw her she was maybe three, walking with her mother in the market. I was goofing around with you Obito, we had just made chuunin. We were what maybe twelve years old. Man, Obito you were such a hyper asshole you know. I remember you pushed me and I bumped into her. Her eyes must have been as big as saucers we startled her so much with our rough housing. Oh that was when you butted your big mouth in Rin yelling at both of us and chasing us all the way to the training field." Letting out a sigh he wiped his hand over his tired face. "Those were the days huh guys. We thought we were so damn fucking indestructible." Pausing he stared up at the sky the clouds floating over peacefully. "So where was I? Oh yes, sweet Hinata Hyuga. So as I was saying I have known her most of my life. Never paying much attention to her. I mean why would I. She is like nine years younger then me. So could you two explain to me why in hell I can't get her out of my mind? Those eyes of hers seem to pierce my soul. " Letting out another long sigh and closing his eyes. Her imagine permeating his brain. His eyes flashed open when he heard footsteps approaching.

'Oh great there goes my solitude. Maybe if I just stay quiet they will just go away.' He grumbled to himself.

"Hey guys sorry I am late, father was in an extra foul mood today. What else is knew huh."

Kakashi's eyes widened as he realized the bane of his thoughts was just on the other side of the memorial stone.

"He is furious because Lady Tsunade approached him about me becoming a medic again. Unfortunately this time she brought up the fact I can produce an unusual colored chakra when I heal. That had always been our little secret ,huh guys. You remember Shino you called it sapphire blue. You would always tell me it suited me with my hair color. What was it you called the normal green chakra Kiba? Oh yah nausea puke green." She giggled slightly. "Father was livid about the whole thing. Damn that Kakashi for telling her about it in the first place. After she left…father made it known how useless I was and now a freak on top of it. I wish you two were here I miss having you wrap your arms around me. You always did make it better after one of his talks. "

Kakashi cringed as he sat quietly on the opposite side as silence filled the air. It continued for a long period. His ears taking in the sounds of the birds as they flew over head even the wind rustling through the leaves in the surrounding trees. He then heard a sound that seemed to burn through his heart. A small sob left her gentle voice. He could swear he heard every tear drop that hit the ground.

The tears continued to flow as she ran her fingers across their names. How many times had she done this in the passing weeks? Hundred? Two hundred? Thousand ? It seemed like eternity. Her long milky white finger shaking as it felt each dip, curve, edge and crevasse of their names.

"I'm so sorry if I had just been stronger, had more chakra control. If I hadn't been a coward all those years ago .If I had stood against them all and became a medic. If I had you two would be alive right now…right here!" She wept loudly. Kakashi closed his eyes tightly his face pained listening to her tears yet unable to move. He sat their for what felt like a lifetime. Listening as her cries became fainter and fainter.

Wiping the tears with the back of her hand she leaned the back of her head against the cold surface. Letting out a long breath she tried to stop the quake of contradictions rushing through her.

"Maybe I should just tell the clan to go fuck themselves and take Tsunade up on her offer. Oh who am I kidding I don't have the chakra control or strength." Throwing her arms up in defeat; before dropping them weakly to her side.

"You're stronger then you know mai bara." Kakashi whispered. He heard her gasp. Clenching his fists as he realized he had whispered his words out loud.

Standing up he walked around to see her sitting there wide eyed, mouth gapping looking up at him. Her face began to show the tell tale signs of fight or flight. She choose flight. Jumping quickly to her feet and running off.

'Fuck! What the hell is wrong with me?' My body reacts before my brain can even think. Kakashi cursed loudly .

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