Reid's Gift To Himself – Chapter 7
A/N: This is for the CCOAC 17th Challenge – New Year's Resolution. PLEASE REVIEW … so I can improve this story before the deadline of 1/31/12. Thank you again, to those of you who review, and to those who are following my story.
*** Disclaimer: I own nothing related to Criminal Minds. This story is only for entertainment and for improving my writing skills. ***
January 1st
"Ok. Come on, Kid. It's time for a break. I'm starving!" Rossi said, as he stood up and headed towards the kitchen.
"I could use a break, too. I'm exhausted." Reid stated, as he followed Rossi.
As Rossi and Reid enjoyed a nice glass of wine with their late lunch, Rossi asked, "Well Kid, how do you think it's going so far?"
"For one thing, I'm glad I put a one hour limit per day on my resolution. The role-playing we've been doing has made a huge difference, but I know I'm just acting, pretending, faking it. When I think about that, it seems wrong to me. It seems almost dishonest. I know they're sincere when they talk to me, and that's what I want to be as well." Reid replied, looking earnestly at Rossi.
"Reid, they are sincere. They love you like a little brother, but even more than that, they like you, regardless of your ways. They accept you as you are. We all know that you don't like being treated differently, or like a kid, but you are. Not only are you much younger than the rest of the team, you know as well as I do, that you are different, very different from the rest of us. But that also means that the rest of us are the ones who are equally different, from you." Rossi stated, sincerely.
Reid grimaced and closed his eyes, once again pretending that if he couldn't see Rossi, then Rossi couldn't see him. Of course, as intelligent as he is, Reid knows that doesn't work. It's just less hurtful when he's not looking directly at the source of painful truths. "It's not my fault, Rossi. You can teach me to pretend and to be a faker, but I can't change my age, my IQ, or my true nature. I've never been just like everyone else, even before kindergarten, I didn't fit in. I didn't know how to play with other little kids. Really, I didn't want to play with them. There were other things that I wanted to do, but I was never rude to them. I knew not to say much, because it turned people against me even sooner than usual. Parents and teachers didn't even like me. They knew that I didn't have mental retardation for anything like that. They knew I wasn't autistic because I never did anything outrageous, or reacted weirdly." Reid paused, with his head bowed and his eyes closed tight.
Rossi sat there, a silent witness to a tortured soul. Sure, over the years Rossi had been snubbed a couple of times. By ignorant people who had misjudged him, without ever having taken the time to get to know him. Yet, none of it compared to how the world had mistreated this innocent young man, sitting before him. Rossi pinched the bridge of his nose and took deep breathes. Once again, because of Reid, Rossi's heart was overflowing with tears and shame. His shame was from knowing that he had been just one more person who had inflicted deep scars on Reid's soul. Rossi thought 'My God! I can't even begin to imagine surviving through the pain, trials, traumas, and tribulations that Reid has been suffering through all these years since such an early age. Reid's body is so thin and frail. His feelings are still so easily hurt. How the hell has he survived so long, and how much longer will he survive in this beautiful world full of horrible people.'
Rossi quickly wiped away the tears that had slowly seeped from his eyes. No! He had to be stronger than this, not for himself, but for Reid. Rossi wasn't really a 'go to church every Sunday and make confession' kind of catholic, but he did firmly believe in man being able to finding salvation. For many years, he had told himself that he was earning his full salvation by starting the BAU. Putting away serial killers had to be the ultimate act one could do. Yet, Rossi also knew that wasn't true. For, as his fame had grown, so had the quantity, and the quality, of his sinful ways. All those pompous years had earned him many riches, and his endless lustful ways had earned him the title of Lothario, an unscrupulous seducer of women.
Rossi had spent his life full of Wrath (against wrongdoers and killers), Greed (constantly demanding higher fees from publishers), Pride (just too full of it), Lust (almost daily), Gluttony (only the best foods and wines were good enough for him). That was five of the seven deadly sins. The only ones he had never been guilty of were Sloth and Envy. Still five out of seven most likely meant no secured-salvation for him, unless he started making major changes in his life.
'Wait a minute!' Rossi thought. 'I may be guilty of 5 deadly sins, but I do believe I have definitely canceled them out because I have always maintained five of the seven Virtues. Charity (contributions to causes), Diligence (determination), Patience (being part of a team), Humility (forced on me by my younger teammates), and Kindness (not just my most recent resolution, but my bonding with Reid). There's only two that I don't ever stand a chance of obeying: Chastity and Temperance. Hell no, life is too short to have to suffer through those two virtues.'
With his eyes still closed, Reid's began talking again, as Rossi became overwhelmed with awe. Never before had Rossi EVER met anyone so devoid of all seven of the deadly sin (Reid wasn't guilty of any of them), and so evidently graced by the seven virtues (Reid's nature thoroughly encompassed all of them). Rossi realized that he would find his heavenly salvation through Reid. Now that he was determined even more to help Reid find greater peace upon this earth, Rossi gently said, "Reid, open your eyes … please."
Reid opened his eyes and slowly looked up at Rossi. Rossi had never exactly understood what people meant when they spoke of 'wounded puppy-dog eyes', but he got it now. The difference, here, was that this wasn't fake or pretense, and it was a far worse look than any puppy could make. The look in Reid's eyes was soul rendering, like the pain of an angel's wings being ripped off. People always smile when they think of angels and their beauty, but they never think about what massive suffering had been borne which had earned those wings.
"You know as well as I, that a painful past is never forgotten. All you can do, Reid, is strive to find a little peace in each new day. If you do that, faithfully every day, believe me … One day it will balance out. You're the one always telling the team that nothing can exist without its opposite. I say the opposite of pain is joy. This is the year that we start bringing more Joy into your life, in every way we can think of. One day, you'll finally believe how much the team truly does loves you for who you are, and for what you are. How's that sound, best friend?" Rossi asked, smiling.
"It already started, Rossi. It started the night we became best friends. Thanks. I feel a little better now. Let's get back to practicing." Reid said, as he stood up and started clearing the dining room table.
Rossi and Reid role-played for a few more hours. By the time Reid left, he felt sure that tomorrow would go well. When he got home, Reid wrote the following into his notebook.
The Profiler's Guide to Chit Chatting
Objective: Spend a minimum of 10 minutes per day with each teammate. Subjects of chitchat will be based on my teammate's interests, not mine.
Skills Required: My eidetic memory and reading speed of 20,000 words per minute.
Procedure to Ensure Success: 1) identify subjects of interest. 2) use the internet to learn the latest information on said subjects. 3) read the newspaper every day and take note of sales, events, and breaking news regarding said subjects. 4) use my knowledge as a way of saving them time in their busy lives/jobs. 5) only offer small bits of information per day, thus ensuring I'll have something else to offer on the following days.
My Teammates are Interested in the following:
HOTCH – his son Jack, upcoming children's events, books for single dads on tape, 365 ways to keep your "only" child happy …
ROSSI – Othership …
EMILY – she's a secret geek, discuss episodes of NOVA, teach her some easy physics tricks …
MORGAN – home improvement sales, ask him to teach me about men's fashionable clothes, make a game out of it, spend time with him looking at online outfits, tell him I'll buy one new item per month under $50 …
GARCIA – ask her to teach me how to use the tablet, ask her questions about technology …
JJ – her son Henry, ask if she still watches soccer games, can she teach me the rules, I'll start watching on tv …
After Reid completed his notebook notations, he signed onto the internet. Most things he retained with his eidetic memory, but he also printed out sheets of information and sales ads. Reid realized that his teammates wouldn't necessarily remember much of what he told them, so he intended to have (on hand, in his notebook) hand-out sheets that he could give to them. Reid felt like a teacher preparing class assignments, but this would be different. These weren't going to be forced onto his teammates. If they showed enough interest in the chitchat, then he would offer them the printout. People do things like that, right?
At 10:00 pm, Reid turned off his computer, put his printouts into his notebook, and prepared for bed. It was much earlier than he usually went to bed, but he wanted to get as much sleep as he could tonight. Tomorrow was the big day … and Reid felt ready!
A/N: The next chapter will be the final chapter. It will detail the first work day of the year, and a summary of Reid's progress as the days progress. I hope this story pleased you. Believe it or not, there's more of me in this story, I've ever admitted to anyone. Now that I've found , I've begun adding bits of Joy into my life. Thanks for taking the time to read my story. Feel free to read my other stories as well. Please leave Reviews, not just for me, but for every story that you read!