Chapter Six: Of Interruptions and Eyebrows

"Fully alive,
More than most,
Ready to smile and love life,
Fully alive and she knows,
How to believe in futures."
- Flyleaf, Fully Alive.

Rivendell, as Elizabeth found out, was a very beautiful place. The air smelled sweet and fresh, the water cool and glittering in the sunlight. She felt dirty in the vast cleanliness of the paths and houses. It was hidden from view at first, hiding in the heather-covered moors, then she spotted a zig-zag path leading down into the valley. Fir trees grew on the higher slopes and beech and oak trees grew further down. And yet again, I am in need of a bath.

As apparently promised, horses were sent for them, if it wasn't for the tension she would have enjoyed riding, something she hadn't done in years. The horses were swift and smooth, carrying them without harm to the valley. She was determined not to fall straight asleep. "I will not become a Mary-sue, I will not become a Mary-sue." She chanted drowsily. Elves were waiting to take their horses, looking at them sympathetically. She was showed to a room painted white. A nightgown lay on the bed, and, not caring how filthy she was, she ignored the gown entirely, choosing to clamber into bed in unwashed clothes. When the handmaid came to check on her an hour later, she nearly had a fit about the state of the sheets, dressing her in the nightwear, regardless of sleepy protests.

She awoke refreshed. When the sun's rays touched the tops of the trees and streamed through her window, Elizabeth shivered as if pink and gold fingers were creeping stealthily up her spine. Her mouth felt like a nest of wasps had set up a nest and gone busily about their day. "Mmmruuphr," she croaked.

"Ah, you are awake." Said a voice by the window.

She wanted to make a witty comeback to the person unknown, but all her tired mind could think of was, "Mmm?" She couldn't remember the last time she had slept for so long, after all, romping through muddy hills and unwieldy forests wasn't her idea of fun and the ground was less than comfortable. She lifted her head to peer at the speaker. He had a long white beard, bushy eyebrows and kindly blue eyes that were surrounded by light wrinkles that crinkled as he smiled. He wore a blue pointed hat (She resisted the urge to shout, Pointy hat trick! ), a silver scarf and a long grey cloak. Could this possibly be Gandalf? "Mmm!" She repeated, flopping back down on the pillow.

"Come now, I've been waiting to talk to you for over an hour." He said gently, pulling up a chair closer to her. She sat up.

"So," she said, cringing at the rasping of her throat. "You must be Gandalf."

He smiled warmly, "He said you have knowledge of Middle Earth."

She fiddled with the sleeve of the nightgown. "Yes." Silence ensured.

"You're not one for talking, are you?" He said after a while.

"I've hit a Ringwraith with the blunt end of Alan. I'm allowed to be a little bit preoccupied." Okay, this isn't going too well. Well noticed, maybe you should stop being a moody bitch. Shut up! I said I wasn't going to have sarcastic conversations with myself any more.

"Um, How do you do, Gandalf?" She asked, doing her best to block out what her mind was telling her. How do wizards greet each other? Do they bow? Hug? Give each other cake? I hope it's cake. He clasped her hand in his with a unexpectedly strong grip. Ah, a handshake it is.

"I am very well, thank you." He paused. "You have not yet requested to know why I am at your bedside."

"Hey, you're a wizard, right? I figured if you wanted me to know, you would have told me."

He grinned wryly, "Indeed, I will tell you of my intentions. First, though, I think it might be wise for you to be up and dressed. Many are curious about the foreigner who rode in with four Hobbits and a man."

"Fantastic."

"I shall leave you too it, I will meet you in the dining hall." He left, leaving her a little confused at the current situation. Alrighty, where's the nearest bath?

The water was most invigorating, filled with flower petals and scented oils. It was the first time in weeks that she felt fully clean, not the half-way clean she felt at Bree. She scrubbed her pale skin, determined to erase every molecule of dirt on her body. She used a sharp knife-like tool, that was clearly meant for a man to shave his face, on her legs and armpits. Her legs weren't exactly smooth with all the cuts that marred them, but at least they were hairless.

A dress was waiting for her on the bed. A very, very pretty dress. "Really, a dress?" She said to no one in particular. The dress was dark blue, with delicate embroidery at the hem and collar and bell-like sleeves. The moment she slipped it over her head, she knew it would be too small. The She-Elves may be taller, but they are slim and dainty. God had been generous in the bosom and hip department, so it was a small miracle when the fabric descended over her body. She took a look in the mirror and winced. She didn't look bad, in fact it was rather flattering.

Alas, it was flattering it all the wrong ways. It hugged her breasts, making them stand out. It clung to her hips, making her feel small and dumpy. Her hair hung to the centre of her shoulder blades, now dark in colour and still wet from the bath. Looking around for a jacket or cloak to cover herself. The only thing she could find was a cloak; a tatty, frayed thing that Strider had lent her. Probably should start calling him Aragorn now. Now, which way to the dining hall? I could eat a horse, I'm so bloody hungry.

She considered for a moment. "Eh, Gandalf won't mind if I do some exploring first. I mean, does he expect me to run straight too him like a dog?" I think not. She said to herself, opening the door to reality.

"I'm going out tonight, I'm feelin' alright, Gonna let it all hang out," She broke into song. Nothing like singing 'I Feel Like a Woman' to make yourself feel less self-conscious about wearing a tight, dress. "Want to make some noise, really raise my voice. Yeah, I want to scream and shout..." She belted it out, thinking there was no one around to hear the poor rendition of the tune. She skipped ahead to the chorus, "Want to be free, yeah, feel the way I feel. Man! I feel like a woman!"

Upon finding the all doors on the corridor locked or uninviting, she shrugged and walked out of the structure and into one of many gardens, with beautiful, exotic flowers and ancient trees. Not having any clue where she was and how to get anywhere, let alone the dining hall, she sat on one of many benches, hoping that it wasn't some personal shrine to whatever deity they worshipped. She took a deep breath, inhaling the scent of fresh air and sweet wild flowers. It made her quite giddy. "The best thing about being a woman, is the prerogative to have a little fun!" She vocalized, squashing the urge to jump up and dance.

I'm here, in Imladris! Every fangirls dream! She grinned, forgetting all thoughts of getting home. Tee hee! She closed her eyes, allowing her consciousness to drift away to another place. The 'other' place happened to be a little fantasy about hitting her employer with a stapler. Back home, she had been raising money to get herself to university with a good writers program by working various temp jobs. The most recent was her being a support IT technician while the girl she was filling in for was on maternity leave. The boss was an arrogant, stupid, fat cat of a man. She was hardly complaining of having a job, even if it was temping, and earning a decent living, but she REALLY hated that man. In her mind it was beautiful. The stapler knocked him on the bonce, giving him a comical expression that one only sees in slapstick comedy. He fell to the floor, still wearing a mask of implicit confusion.

Giggling a little at the morbid humour of her imagination, she traced blind patterns on the rock. "Go totally crazy, forget I'm a lady-"

Much to her embarrassment, she never got to finish the song. A playfully teasing voice said, "Are you sure that song is appropriate?" She started, and verbalized a yelp. Ah, well. Dignity will have to be regained later. She raised her eyes to find the speaker. He was undoubtedly an elf. He was tall, dark-haired, grey-eyed, and fair of face.

"Can I help you?" She asked, cheeks coloured as evidence of her embarrassment.

The elf smiled, "Gandalf sent me to find you."

"Oh." Good Lord, is today the day of awkward silences? Or am I just socially inept?

She feared it was probably the latter. "It is etiquette to offer your name when you meet someone for the first time." He prompted, grinning, clearly enjoying making her uncomfortable.

"I'm Liquorice." She said, rather out of the blue. The train of thought that she followed was this; If he was intelligent, he'd know that she was lying. Regrettably, that train ran her over. Damn, now he'll think I'm insane and there are too many people who already think that. He raised an eyebrow. "I mean, it's Elizabeth. I was reading a book where the main character was called Liquorice, so I had it on the brain." His eyebrow kept ascending, which triggered the light bulb affect in her head. Aha! I know who this is! There is only one, well, two other people who can do that besides Lord Elrond. "Forgive me if I'm wrong, but would you be one of the son's of Elrond?" Please be right, please be right, please be right...

Both eyebrows were now up. Houston, we have eyebrow-off. "You are correct. I am Elladan." His lips quirked upwards, "Never have I been recognized on sight before. The tales of my expertly executed harlequinade have spread."

"Sure."

"Which brings me to my point."

"You had a point?" She stood up from the bench, hands dusting off imaginary specks of lint from her lap.

"Yes. I don't go around talking to people for no reason. Now-"

"I thought Gandalf sent you to find me."

"He did, but-"

"So why aren't you taking me to the dining hall?"

"I will do in a minute, first-"

"Then-"

"Will you please let me finish!"

"...Sorry."

He cleared his throat and began again, 'Stop being so difficult' written all over his face. "I have something to ask of you. As I'm certain you're aware, my brother and I greatly relish the chance to make people look like fools. Especially our father. Do you catch my drift?" She didn't, but nodded anyway. "I need someone with an innocent face to do something for me..."

Elizabeth thought that the plan was mindbogglingly brilliant. He showed her to a great hall with tables abundant with breakfast foods. Many heads turned curiously to watch them enter. She had never felt more on show. Blinking owlishly at the too-attractive faces, she searched for familiar people amongst strangers. She found them almost immediately. Gandalf was sitting patiently with the Hobbits (Minus Frodo), two of whom were waving at her excitedly.

"Remember what I said." Whispered Elladan, close to her ear, his hair brushing her shoulder. She began to walk over to her companions, almost tripping over the hem of her dress. Merry and Pippin jumped up from their seats and ran to her.

"Elizabeth! We thought you'd never wake up!" Said Pippin, giving her a one-armed hug. Whoa, where did this affection come from? Didn't think they liked me enough to miss me.

"How long was I asleep?" She questioned, returning the embrace.

"Since yesterday afternoon. You were really tired." Merry answered, leading her over to the table.

This is like being Rebecca Black on a Friday, she thought, upon seeing how many chairs were available. They had chosen to sit at the biggest table in the room and several Elves were seated at the opposite end. "It's Friday, Friday." She hummed. I hate that song. Why must it be so catchy?

"Actually, it's Saturday." Gandalf informed her, "October 23rd, if you want to know." Elizabeth, unsurprisingly, wasn't listening. She had laden her plate with fruits, breads and other matters that interested her. Let's just say that she ate worse than some breed of wild animal. The rest of the party watched her with a horrible fascination. The wizard coughed. "So, as I was going to say, before you started devouring everything edible in sight, I wish to speak with you concerning your past and future."

"Okay." She agreed through a mouthful of bread.

He stroked his beard thoughtfully, "This is the conclusion I have come to: I have spoken with Aragorn about you and he told me that our universe was fiction in yours. Correct?" She nodded, taking a gulp of water. "Which would mean that the author would have been in this world to write a book on it. Assuming this man was actually here and did not receive visions or dreams and the like. You walked through- well, I'm not really sure. My best guess is a sort of a wormhole, connecting both realms. Do you think this is round about accurate?" Pip, Merry and Sam gazed at him in wonder, completely in awe at the possibility of another world, yet alone them being connected. Elizabeth finished her orgy of eating, mulling over what he had said.

Wiping her mouth with a cloth napkin, she crossed and then uncrossed her legs uncomfortably. "What about this theory; I got hit over the head with something heavy and now I'm dreaming. You're all just my imagination." She said.

"Aragorn said you tried pinching yourself."

"I did. Maybe I'm just really, really deeply asleep. Or dead."

"How can you be dead? You're right in front of me!" Said Merry, frowning. Pippin appeared to be distressed that she could be deceased.

"Perhaps my mind manifested itself into a physical form."

Gandalf inclined his head, "I will not rule out the possibility, but I believe it to be unlikely. This whole matter is very interesting."

"I'm glad my misfortune interests you." She muttered, feeling a little more out of place. She turned to Sam. "So you never really believed I was Strider's sister?"

He shook his head, "No offence meant, Miss, but you don't really look like a lady from Rohan."

"So much for my amazing acting skills."

"It wasn't that. It was your clothes."

"Oh! Well, couldn't really have helped that." She downed the rest of the water.

"Just how much do you know of why we are here?" Gandalf asked, turning an apple over in his hands.

"Well, I know about the One Ring. I know that there will be a fellowship to destroy it. I know that my favourite colour is blue. I know that birth control pills work on Gorillas-"

"About Middle Earth!"

"Okay, I know about Isildur and how he couldn't destroy the ring, about Gollum, about how Aragorn is heir to the throne of Gondor-" The doors to the hall suddenly opened and all rose. The elf who had entered was clearly one of status. He wore dark velvet robes and a diadem upon his head. Like most elves, his hair was partly plaited and long. His eyes were grey and very deep, like they could take in the whole world in one glance.

You know, I wish I could say something without being interrupted. Matrix for the win! Out loud, she said, "Why hello, Mr. Smith."