"So what I know about this girl is that her father is Lance Alvers and her mother is Kitty Pryde." Arthur started. "No siblings, no biological family. Her best friends are Ivory Maximoff and Lucy Allerdyce, both models. Mr. Granger told me she would most likely trust her father the most but she wouldn't confess to him if she was guilty."
"So I'll go in as Ivory then." Said Eames. Ariadne looked at Ivory's picture on the white board.
"Is her hair naturally white?" she asked.
"I don't know." Said Arthur. "Not likely."
"And next in line is Lucy, who has an Australian accent." Eames mentioned. "That should be easy."
"What about her boyfriend?" Yusuf asked. "She's been dating Shane Peter's for a while now."
"A woman like her would not tell a person she doesn't know as well a dark secret." Said Ariadne. "I don't even think that in a dream she would tell Eames anything if he was disguised as Shane." Suddenly, a pain chiseled through one of her teeth and she gripped her jaw.
"And I'll guess I'll go for Ivory." Said Eames. "Has Jayne been trained to fight off extractors? It would be nice to know that in advance darling." The Brit smirked at Arthurs mistake with the previous mission.
"No." said Arthur. "She doesn't even know what an extraction is. Ariadne, you said you would build a concert hall?"
"Yeah, I mean she usually at concerts performing so she wouldn't suspect anything." Ariadne felt extreme pain in her mouth and didn't know what was causing it. It had to be a cavity.
"And where do you plan on putting the vault?"
"I was thinking the dressing room, behind the mirror."
"Brilliant." Eames complemented. "No wonder he chose you."
"I have a question." Ariadne started. "This might sound a little interesting or weird, but Jayne is a singer so music is constantly playing in her mind. Is there a chance that the projections could break into song?"
Everyone looked over at Arthur.
"Good question." He said. "I love how you think Ariadne. I really don't know what to say."
"I think they would." Said Eames. "I just hope they don't do High School Musical."
"Don't get me started on High School Musical!" Ariadne laughed. "They couldn't have come up with a more creative title!"
"What else do you know about Jayne personality wise?" Yusuf asked. "Any outrageous backstage demands?"
"No." said Arthur. "She doesn't ask for anything people can't get her. All she wants is vanilla ice cream with nothing on it. No gold spoon or bowl."
"She's more down-to-earth than most singers." Said Ariadne. "Whenever I see her in a magazine, she's doing something for a cause."
"You think she'll be funny on SNL?" Eames asked.
"Better than her rival for sure." Ariadne replied.
"What's exactly going on between her and Miley Cyrus?" Yusuf asked.
"Jayne criticized Miley and she overreacted." Said Arthur. "They can't stand each other."
"Well Jayne didn't smoke a bong." Ariadne replied. "Legal or not, it's still a bad example. And she didn't take R-rated pictures of herself either. Miley was caught in a picture pulling her eyelids to look Asian. I'm serious."
"Saito would not like that." Said Yusuf. "So, when's SNL?"
"I thought it was next week, it was last week. We can watch it on Hulu." Said Ariadne. She pulled open her laptop and went to Hulu. "Yeah, it's here already." She pushed the computer forward and put it on full screen.
They skipped the opening because it was another political satire sketch they didn't need to see.
"Musical guest and host; Jayne Alvers!" The screen went to the main set of Saturday Night Live with the band playing on stage. "Ladies and gentlemen, Jayne Alvers!" she stepped through the door. She was in white jeggings with leopard spots, black pumps, a biker jacket and a white Lance Alvers concert t-shirt. There was a long applause as she waited for everyone to calm down.
"Alright! Can we get some 'calm down' lights in here?" she started. "I'm Jayne Alvers and this is my first time hosting Saturday Night Live! I am so excited to be back home in New York. My move Beastly came out yesterday." More applause roared in the room. "And right now I'm working in New Orleans on a new film. My dad is legendary musician Lance Alvers." She zipped open her jacket to show off her T-shirt. "And my mom is a Bayville Siren, which if you don't know, it's her derby team. That makes me a rock-n-roller."
Arthur chuckled a little. "That was pretty good."
"After I film my current movie, I'm coming back up here to be in my first Broadway play!" More applause corrupted the room. "I'm not going to tell you what the musical is about because that would ruin the whole thing. It's not new, however, it was never performed in the US." Jayne went on with her monologue, making the team laugh at occasion. "We have a kick-ass show for you tonight. Miley Cyrus is not here so stick around, we'll be back!"
"She's going to do a Miley Cyrus show skit." Said Ariadne. The fake TV commercial came up. After that was the first skit. Arthur had to brace himself after seeing the 'Resistration for Porno Actors' logo come up. Jayne worked at the front desk of a porn star registration office and she was signing up men to be porn actors. They heard names like 'Penis de Milo', 'Sadong Hussein' (which even made Yusuf laugh), 'Forrest Hump' and a variety of Star Wars themed names. Throughout the skit, Arthur was trying not to listen. Especially when Fred Arimsen came in as an Asian man and said his name was 'Hung Low'. Jayne assumed that was his porn name, but then he said, 'Sp where do I pick up my drivers lisence?'
As Ariadne predicted, a Miley Cyrus Show sketch came on next. Jayne appeared in the sketch as herself and she argued with Vanessa Bayer, Miley's impersonator and won.
In another skit, Jayne and Kristen Wiig played roller girls in an arena locker room. They were superstitious and performed all these dances that they believed would break all their bad luck. In the skit, a black cat crossed their paths, a towel fell to the floor and Kristen broke a mirror. They did this all on skates.
"Well she doesn't make a bad host." Said Eames. "Pretty funny."
"I don't understand why you people laugh at that." Said Arthur. "It looks so silly."
"There have been worst hosts." Said Ariadne. "For example; Miley Cyrus."
"Was it that bad?" Yusuf asked.
"My sister was taken to the emergency room the same time that episode first aired." Ariadne explained. "I'm not kidding."
"So we can see right now from her monologue that she seems like a down-to-earth person." Said Arthur. "With a dirty sense of humor. And when she's performing, her character is very aggressive, like she's fighting her audience."
"Alright." Ariadne closed the laptop. "I know what I want to do." She picked up her phone and called the local dentist.