Title: Saying Goodbye
Author: Robin
Disclaimer: They are JE's. If I owned them they probably wouldn't so much fun to play with.
Rating: R for language. Turns out Ranger has a potty-mind.
Chapter 9
Ranger
My teeth were clenched as I listened to Stephanie on the phone with the cop, the beginnings of a world-class headache forming at my temples. I would have refused to put her on the phone if I wasn't half convinced he'd show up on my doorstep otherwise. As it was, he'd cursed me out, questioned my parentage and when I told him I had no memory of agreeing not to make a move on Stephanie he threatened to make my life hell. Little did he know, on most days, his very existence was enough to do that. As far as my professional life went, I wasn't too worried. I had friends in high places and I knew how to use them.
Still, his attitude, his fucking grating voice and the fact that he had any claim on Stephanie was pissing me off. Okay, I could ignore the first two, but the last one was a real ball-buster. The only consolation was the fact that Stephanie looked like she'd rather have a root canal than talk to him. I gotta admit that gave me a little happy.
But since I really didn't want to see Morelli anytime soon, I challenged her to bite the bullet and get on the phone.
Of course since we were sitting in the truck, I was stuck listening their conversation. Fucking beautiful. I pulled out of the garage, heading for the restaurant, hoping I could escape into what Stephanie would call my "zone." I didn't know what I'd call it, but driving always seemed to relax me. Things seemed simpler when I was behind the wheel.
Not today.
Joe's strident voice was carrying from the cell phone and I could make a pretty good guess at what he was saying, the accusations he was hurling at her.
My suspicions were confirmed when Stephanie defensively replied, "I don't understand what you're talking about. I'm helping a friend. That's all there is to it."
That's all there was to it. Fuck me. I sighed mentally.
I really didn't want to hear this. Hell, it wasn't that I didn't want to be her friend, but the truth was I wanted to be more. No matter how impossible it was. And then she said I was 'just a friend' again. And again. And again.
Christ. Pretty soon she'd be telling Morelli that she didn't think of me that way. That I was like a brother.
And then she started to get upset, her own temper starting to get the better of her. Who could blame her? She'd been letting Morelli chew her out for the last five minutes. I liked to see her stand up for herself. But I didn't like that I was putting her in this kind of situation.
Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. Maybe she'd be better off going back to her life.
Then maybe I could get back to the life I had before she came into it. Sure, and maybe pigs could fly.
She'd finally managed to get him off the phone and I could feel her eyes on me. Without looking at her, I said, "I can call the airline and arrange a ticket back for you." I stared out the window, already feeling the emptiness that came every time I returned her to Morelli. Well, with everything that was going on, a little more misery wouldn't make that much difference. Yeah, right. Keep kidding yourself, Manoso.
"I want to stay," she said, her hand warm on my knee and her words succor to my soul. "Unless… maybe things would be easier with me out of your hair?"
Easier without her? Hardly. Being around her was the easiest part of my complicated life. Keeping my distance – that was the real challenge. I looked over at her, her teeth worrying her lower lip. I'm guessing she didn't know that.
She started to pull her hand away and I snagged it in my own without even thinking about it. Since I'd learned about my father, I craved her touch like she craved doughnuts. "I want you here, Babe. Don't ever doubt it," I said. And it was true. But I had one small reservation. "But," I started without really thinking about it. Shit. Did I really want to finish that thought?
No. But one look at Stephanie's expression and I knew I couldn't leave it hanging.
I pulled the truck into a space and wondered how I could say this without sounding like a total pussy. As soon as we were stopped, Stephanie was trying to pull her hand from mine to make her escape. But, I wouldn't let go. No matter how often I'd tried, I couldn't let go.
I pulled her toward me, until we were separated by just a few inches. She wouldn't meet my eyes. After a moment of staring down at the graceful crescents of her eyelashes casting shadows on her cheeks, I tipped her chin up compelling her to look at me. I forced myself to sound casual when I asked, "Is that really all I am to you? Just a friend?"
"You are my friend, Ranger," she said. "Probably my best friend." Her eyes, which had been bright with tears, softened with an expression that told me my offhand tone hadn't fooled her for a moment. She knew my question was serious. I waited, wanting there to be more. Finally she said, "But you're more than that, too."
She didn't disappoint.
Her cheek was velvet under my fingertips, her eyes were holding mine and I needed to taste her. I lowered my lips to hers in a kiss, keeping it gentle, soft, but full of potential. When my tongue slid into the heat of her mouth, my body urged me to deepen it, to be more aggressive. But I let my head rule. I didn't want her to feel pushed. I didn't want to apply pressure. This time I needed to know that she wanted this as much as I did.
And it was perfect, the way she sank into me with a soft sigh, in silent approval of the kiss. Christ, she made me want things I shouldn't. She was a temptation I should swear off, like dessert. I really shouldn't be kissing her.
I knew the precise moment she realized that she shouldn't be kissing me, either. She stiffened, pulling herself from me slightly, all pliancy gone. God damn the cop, I mentally cursed, ending the kiss reluctantly. "Don't tell me, Babe," I said. "I know. I'm poaching."
"Come on, let's get food," I said, moving to get out of the truck. For the brief moment I was out of her sight, I worked to shake off my arousal and my disappointment. When she met me on the sidewalk, it was a comfort to notice that Stephanie looked like she was having the same problem. Maybe I was a selfish mercenary bastard, but I liked knowing that one kiss could have her forgetting that we were "just friends." If only it was enough to make me forget why we couldn't be more.