Chapter Eleven: Of Friendship and Mind Games
"I come home in the morning light,
My mother says "When you gonna live your life right?"
Oh, mother dear,
We're not the fortunate ones,
And girls, they want to have fun.
Oh, girls, just want to have fun."
- Cyndi Lauper, Girls Just Wanna Have Fun.
On the morning she was to leave for the quest, she was woken at dawn with, "Echuiv, Heril." (Wake up, Lady.)
"Muuuff." She replied, burying her head into the pillow, ignoring the handmaiden who stood beside her bed.
The month or so leading up to that day were not pretty. Elladan and Elrohir attempted to teach her how to handle twin blades. Without success. Aragorn tried to show her the ways of the sword. Without success. She persuaded Legolas to teach her archery. Without success. Even Gimli tried to teach her how to throw an axe. Yes, you guessed it, without success. The only thing she showed much talent in was gardening. She stretched languidly under the covers, wanting to keep the feeling of a warmth for as long as possible. "I'm up." She mumbled sleepily.
The maid sighed and left. Maybe it was something she said. If Elizabeth was honest, today made her nervous. It was a good sort of nervous, though. The kind of nervous you get before you jump in the swimming pool and you know it's going to be cold. She stretched one last time before throwing her legs out of the bed and a shiver rippled down her spine. Well, if it kills me, at least I'll know that I've had a crack at being a hero. Blinking sleep out of her eyes, she dressed quickly in the outfit she had agreed to wear.
Pfffft. They actually expected me to wear a skirt? Honestly, you'd think they'd learn. Much to the dismay of one Ranger, who thought she should be acting more like a lady, she was wearing soft, black leggings and supple leather boots. The shirt was white with embroidered sleeves, which Elizabeth knew were going to get ripped/muddy/stuck on something. She felt a bit like a pirate.
"Arr! They call me Grace O'Malley, fiercest lady pirate ever to sail the seven seas." She picked up her discarded Frick and wielded it as if it were a cutlass, decapitating imaginary foes and playfully maiming her crew. Twenty five years old and still playing pirate. Some things don't change. Abandoning her games of piracy, she left the not-so-deadly weapon on the bed, along with everything else she didn't plan on taking. She was reluctant to leave much behind, so only an empty tic tac box lay alongside the Frick. A rucksack was at the foot of the bed, surprisingly light.
Well, you know what they say: A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it.
"The Ring bearer is setting out on a quest for Mount Doom. You who travel with him no oath nor bond is laid out for you to go further than you will." The fellowship stood at the gate, looking very much awake and bright-eyed, much to our heroines dismay.
It's. Too. Early. She thought. I'd feel so much better about mornings if they started later. She mentally shook herself when her eyes drifted closed. She didn't feel awake enough even to make sarcastic comments about Aragorn's sword and whether or not he was compensating for something. She managed to stay alert enough to catch the end of Elrond's speech. "May the blessings of Elves and Men and all free folk go with you."
By free folk, does he mean swingers? I hope not. I don't want a swinger's blessing- Oh. That's what Elrond looks like when he smiles. It's disturbing. Gandalf announced "The Fellowship awaits the Ring bearer."
"Mordor, Gandalf, is it left or right?" Whispered Frodo, stopping abruptly, and Elizabeth, being Elizabeth, wasn't looking where she was going. She crashed into Gimli sending both of them toppling over, knocking the wind out of her. They landed unceremoniously with Gimli's armour clanking on the floor.
"Oh, Morning Gimli, I didn't see you there." She said, managing to sound both tired and chirpy.
"Mffft!"
"What's that?"
"Mpplt!"
"What?"
"Mfft." He repeated, before spitting something out. "I said, your hair is in my face."
She pushed herself up, then offered him a hand. "I think," She said, helping him to his feet. "This is going to be the start of a beautiful friendship."
The Dwarf pondered this briefly, then answered, "If you can fall like that and get back up with your head held high, you're a friend of mine." It might have been what he said, but that she greatly annoyed Legolas might have been a contributing factor.
"See, Aragorn? I can make friends if I want to!" She stuck out her tongue at the aforementioned Ranger.
"Mordor is to the left, Frodo." Gandalf was already starting to sound weary. After assembling themselves back into the original order, they each gave the Elf-lord a gesture of respect (Except Elizabeth, who said, It's been wonderful. I'll laugh about out times together. Tatty-bye. and tipped her imaginary hat. It was safe to say that Elrond would be happy enough to see her go) and began to long, long walk to Mordor.
So, Reader, what do you think Elizabeth would do on this long, perilous, risky and exceedingly dull journey? Yes! 10 Reader points to you! She pestered everyone. And by everyone, I mean everyone who wasn't under the protection of being her friend. Aragorn, Gimli and the Hobbit's were safe from her witticisms and antics. Legolas, Boromir, Gandalf, however, were not. How they deeply regretted it.
By the time they had conquered the long, steep path out of the cloven vale of Rivendell she had already made reference to Gandalf's pointy hat trick, many frightening innuendos about the Horn of Gondor and sung 'I've Got A Jar Of Dirt' to Legolas countless times. She had been gifted with a wooden staff of the non-magical variety (to her disappointment) so she wouldn't be unarmed but Gandalf had confiscated it when she tried to get a round of limbo going.
On the first night, they set up camp by a small stream. She and Boromir had been given the simple task of collecting water rather than hunting for food. Obviously, he had protested immensely until she snapped, "Oh, for the love of crumb cakes, we get it! We all know that you're capable of wrestling a bear or whatever absurd point you're trying to make. Now, stop moping around and hand me that canteen!"
Out of surprise more than compliance, he passed her the water container. "What?" She asked suspiciously, seeing almost every pair of eyes on her. The tense quiet was broken by Gimli roaring with laughter and Merry requesting to know what crumb cakes were. Boromir simultaneously wore an expression of shock and amusement. "What?" She repeated, cracking a smile.
"Nothing." Said Boromir, blinking. She rolled her eyes, stood and then moved to complete the original task by kneeling in front of the stream, allowing the clear liquid to run through her fingers before dunking the canteen in. Aragorn gave him a stern look and tipped his head in the general direction of the brook. Boromir sighed. Maybe he should help her. He crouched beside her. "I'm sorry if I offended you."
"Hmmm?" She looked up briefly, "Oh, I'm sorry. I can't hear you over that sound."
He frowned. "What sound?"
She shushed him, holding a finger to her chapped lips. "I want to hear it!" They waited. Her with head cocked like a dog. Him feeling flummoxed. All he could hear was rushing water and the wind.
"Lady Elizabeth, what are am I meant to be hearing?"
"That, my dear Boromir, is the sound of how amazing I am." She said. "I first heard that glorious music when I obliterated you with my quick wit." He stiffened, then realized it was a joke and relaxed. Jeez, this guy needs to lighten up. Quick! Make conversation so he doesn't feel bad.
"So... You're from Gondor?"
"Yes."
The silence was back. "So..." She said again, filling up the next container with water. She racked her brain, thinking of an appropriate question. "If someone gave you a thousand pounds and asked you to kill a butterfly by burning it alive, would you do it?"
"What?" He said, startled.
"Would you do it?"
"What are 'pounds'?"
Oooh, right. "You know," She waved her free hand around. "Currency."
"Oh. One thousand gold pieces?" He picked up the last remaining flask.
"Sure."
He scratched his head contemplatively. "I don't think so. I am not in need of money and something innocent shouldn't die because of my actions."
She stared at him. "Boromir. You are now my friend. Congratulations." She smiled.
"Oh, er, thank you?"
After that blatantly odd conversation, they walked back to the make-shift camp only to find Sam looking annoyed and Pippin rolling on the floor laughing. Even Legolas was smirking somewhat. The pot was on the fire and Sam was doing his best to cook some sort of stew. If it wasn't for Pippin and Merry bothering him, he probably would of realized it was burning.
"What's going on?" asked Elizabeth, setting the full containers by the fire.
Aragorn snickered. "They are enquiring about Sam's status with Rosie Cotton." Sam flushed.
"Come on, guys!" She said. "That isn't nice."
Gandalf puffed on his pipe, looking all wise and wizardly. And uninterested. "They're having a little harmless fun."
"But aren't blokes sensitive about that sort of thing? Sam, that stew is burning." He swiftly took it off the fire while she sat on a nearby log. The rest of the group suddenly became interested with mundane things like rocks or shoes. "Well?"
Aragorn was the first to speak, "Says the women who, when asked about her martial state by an eligible man in Rivendell, climbed a tree to be rid of him."
"Hey! Who wants to play a game?" She said, suddenly, deliberately changing the subject entirely.
"Us!" Shouted Merry and Pippin in unison.
"Aragorn?"
"What kind of game is it?" The kind that allows you to be distracted. I'm winning. A fun one.
"I'll play, but it has to be quiet and none too boisterous."
She rolled her eyes. "Gimli?"
As long as it doesn't involve walking." He sent a venomous glare at Gandalf. I feel for you, I really do. Her own muscles were still complaining, even after an hours rest.
"Legolas?" The Elf took on a deer-in-the-headlights look.
"Do you give your word to stop calling me Leggy-bear?"
"That's not what you said last night.!
The implication made him redden !I wasn't-!
!We know, Legolas.! Said Aragorn, voice straining from resisting the urge to laugh.
!Aw, you're so sexy when you pretend we're not together." She winked. He blanched.
"Right, he's playing. What about you?" She questioned Boromir, nudging him with her elbow.
"N-"
"Excellent!" She said. "What are we playing?"
"What?" Said Aragorn, confused.
"What are we playing?"
"You're the one who wanted to play something in the first place!"
"Was I?"
"Yes!"
"Oh, I said that so you wouldn't talk to me about climbing a tree to get away from some guy."
"So we are not playing a game?"
"I don't know, are you?"
"I have a headache." He said, massaging his temples. Something he seemed to be doing a lot of recently.
"So, what you're saying," Boromir intervened. "Is that there was no point in this whole conversation?"
"That is indeed what I am saying, yes."
At least I got them distracted... "Why did you climb a tree?" ...Damn.
She reclined on the ground by the fire, taking the bowl of stew Sam offered her and blowing over it. "As Stridy over there said, I didn't want to talk about it."
"Ah, so you are already married."
"What is it about Middle Earth people and marriage? No, I'm not and I'm planning to be, either." She gave Aragorn a very dirty look.
"Oh."
Elizabeth 1 Boromir 0. She gave him a smug look.
"In other news, we must hold this course west of the Misty Mountains for forty days. If our luck holds, the Gap of Rohan will still be open to us. From there, our road turns east, to Mordor." Said Gandalf, while thinking Gandalf 1 Elizabeth 0 and giving the woman his own self-satisfied look.
The night grew darker still and there was singing, in elvish and other languages she couldn't name. She met the eyes of Boromir a few times over the fire but she quickly found unexplainable interest in something else.
Eventually, with Legolas taking watch and the stars coming out to play, she drifted to sleep, lost in a realm of fantasy she never thought possible.
She dreamed. There was a woman. And an ocean. Those were the only things she could recall when she tried. The woman was clothed in a white robe, hair and eyes dark in comparison. The eyes were the things she remembered the most. They were old, much older than the rest of her face and all over her was pain. Pain, pain, pain with no shadow to hide it. Yet she was so unearthly beautiful. She made no utterance and for a while they only watched each other. They got to know each other through silence. Elizabeth couldn't move, she felt compelled to stay where she was and not look around at the iridescent shimmer of the sea. The air smelled of salt. And blood. The woman smiled and Elizabeth finally saw a glimmer of hope in those mirrored pools of thought. She wasn't human, Elizabeth realised, she was far too lovely for that and much too burdened.
The woman's lips parted slightly and breathed a sigh. "Lo-"
Elizabeth awoke with a jolt, sitting ramrod straight and making a sound like a broken animal. Legolas turned, startled, "Elizabeth? Are you well?"
She took a deep breath of chilly air. "Yeah." She whispered and lay back down, staring at the stars like they held the answer. "Just fine."