I fancy steak

long time no see...! i kinda came to a dead end, and then i figured who better to get me out of a funk than the king of the bears, ( and yes in my head he has a crow, and a loin cloth... mmmm) Emmett :D

Emmett pov

"So little innocent baby sister…?" jasper was off, interrogating Bella, and Edward was off. Just off somewhere.

"Yes, defiantly not innocent, big brother?"

"Well, umm." Jasper just lost his advantage.

"Want to ask me something jazzy?" Haha Bella's innocent expression, caved to a wicked smile, and you could just tell that she was going to rip jasper to pieces, like a lioness toying with its prey.

"yes." He paused dramatically, and you could feel the explosion coming, as if jasper were radiating emotion. "WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING?"

Bella flinched away from him, all the snarky comments knocked from her, along with the fire from her eyes. If I hadn't been thinking the exact same thing I would have her in a bear hug by now, but this wasn't the time to protect her. That was long gone.

Alice and Rose, unaware of the tension, strolled in holding the take out menus, paused, took in the scene, and tried to make a hasty retreat. It would have worked, jasper was still fixed on Bella, but Edward walked back in, and the whole room changed. Edward is family, and were quite close, but this seem too personal, and Edward seemed to public, so jasper recoiled and Bells straightened up.

"Everything alright?" oh no A, everything's not alright.

"Sure." One thing that has to be said about Jasper, the guy can't conceal his emotion for shit. The sarcasm was written all over his face, along with some hurt and a little desperation.

I can't say I blame Jazz for the outburst, I almost did the same thing, and Bella isn't even blood. If it'd been Alice, I'd have Jasper dangling by his balls, out of that window, and our windows don't open. Poor Jazz doesn't even know who he's going after.

I'll help him.

He might not need my help.

I want to help; it could be like a bonding exercise, like hunting.

"I'll help!" aw crap I didn't mean to say that out loud.

"Help what?"

"Chill Ally, I'm not sure Jasper will need help anyway."

"Emmett honey, what are you going to help Jazz with?" ah Rosie Posy, I forgot she'd want to help, being the big sister and all.

"Catching this bastard, you can come to babe" I shot her my best, what did you think I was thinking smile, and winked.

"Em, it's not some sort of bonding exercise" baby Edward could always read me like a book, but the nervous laugh that came after, made my brain gears turn.

I sauntered over to my lady and stole the take out menus, (our version of cooking dinner) "I fancy steak."

And that was that for awkward conversation for the night.

Alice brought out 3 million baby book, and the girls started reading as if their lives depended on it, I've only ever seen them read this fast in the run up to finals… I did try to join in, I picked up a book called something like, what to expect when you're expecting. Yer. I honestly picked that up. And then I opened it. And then I closed it, very, very quickly. I was not expecting to see that, on the first page. At this point I was feeling sick, so I did as any self respecting uncle to be, would do, I grabbed Jasper, and we went to the Bar.

3 hours and 22 shots later, jasper was feeling a lot better about his sister being pregnant. But something was still turning my brain gears, Edwards laugh. Come to think of it, the way he left half way through Bella's unprotected sex speech, like a bullet from a gun.

I finished off my beer, paid our tab, and picked Jasper off the floor.

"Fucking lightweight." Mumbling to my self as I haled his drunken arce in to the passenger seat of the Bugatti, wondering to my self how bells is coping with this, not being able to drink and all. "you puke in the car, your buying me a new one. Got it?" but Jazz was so out of it he didn't know which way was up.

Now, I thoroughly recommend driving drunk, it's just so much more exciting, the colours blur and you feel on top of the world. The police officer that pulled me over, on the other hand, had a completely different view of drink driving.

"Licence and registration."

"mmmhumm hang on two seconds"

"What's this?"

"$600"

"I asked for your driver's license."

"You did."

"Well then can I have it?"

"Can I have my money back?"

"It's a nice evening sir, would you like a police escort home?"

They always crack, and to be honest, this guy would have probably forgotten about the speeding and drink driving for $200, but why risk it. When bribing a police officer, what you don't want to do is offend them, you don't want him (or her) thinking that, you think they're cheep.

I finally got back, got Jasper on to the sofa, and got to my room, by half 5. TGI Friday, well it was Saturday, but still no collage. I striped down to my boxers and crawled into my bed, only to find it full of book. Book's about pregnancy. They were books about pregnancy, for men, written for men by men. This is not going to be fun. Well at least they'll be less graphic. I hope.