Yes, I know McGonagall retired from her post as headmistress in the canon universe. But, then again, this isn't canon. So I'm gonna do what I want. In fact, here's a list of the stuff that shouldn't be, but are:

McGonagall never retired,

Hagrid's young - well not young, but if he was the proper age he'd be 82, so for me he's about 50-60. I mean, he was 62-70 throughout the books and he didn't seem like it.

Lorcan and Lysander Scamander are in the same year as Albus and Rose.

(More to be added later) ON TO STORY TIME, KIDDIES!

"So if they carry on at this rate, by next year we'll-"

"Uh... Rose?"

"Yeah Luke?"

"Not to offend you or anything, but... I don't think Al's listening anymore..."

"Why's that?"

"Well, there's the fact that he's sleeping..."

"Oh..." She looked down at the floor, her face heating up. It came as a surprise to Luke when she stuck her nose in the air quickly, staring down at Al.

"ALBUS POTTER! WAKE UP THIS INSTANT!" Rose pretty much screamed in his face.

"BLOODY HELL, ROSIE!" Albus shouted back, waking up instantly. "It wasn't my fault!"

"You fell asleep while I was talking to you!"

"Well, yeah but-" Luke decided to blank them out after that. He muttered a quick 'Off to change.' and slipped out of the room with the school robes he'd stuffed in the bag with the books. He'd only ever tried them on when getting them fitted at Madam Malkin's Robes for All Occasions. The thought of wearing robes was just weird to him.

Luke headed up the carriage towards the toilet at the back. A variety of different people were in the compartments on either side of him, ranging from nervous first years to older students, blasting rainbows from their wands. He silently decided to stay away from those rainbows if possible. One particular compartment was full of four first years, laughing darkly until Luke walked past; that was when they decided to stop and glare at him as he walked by. A pale blond boy with piercing grey eyes decided to give him the deadliest of the four.

Rushing by them hurriedly and changing even faster, he was on his way back to Albus and Rose in a flash. Luckily for Luke, they'd went back to friendly conversation.

"Hey mate, where'd you go?" Albus asked him as he entered.

"Changed." Luke answered simply, gesturing to his new robes.

"Ah shit. I better go change as well."

"I will too." Rose mumbled, pulling the robes from the shelf beside her.

Luke didn't really mind that they'd left so hastily. He was a little tired anyway, not really up to talking for a while.

"Luke, come on!"

"Nnnnnnnoooooooooooo." Luke mumbled tiredly, a thin line of spit dribbling down his chin.

"Fine. You stay here and we'll go learn magic in Hogwarts."

"I'M UP!" Luke jumped from his seat, rubbing his eyes sleepily.

"About time." Rose giggled at him. "You were very determined to slobber over my new robes."

Luke blushed at that.

"Sorry."

"Don't worry. Now come on!" They all left the compartment, making sure they were before most of the others.

"Damn." Luke muttered angrily in the middle of the corridor.

"What?" Albus asked him, looking slightly worried.

"I left my bag. I'll meet you out there kay?"

"Fine. Hurry up!"

Luke rolled his eyes at them as they skipped off the train, whooping as they went. He always forgot something. Luke took his time getting his bag. What's the worst that could happen if he was a little later than the others?

He jumped off the train, being the only one left in that carriage. What he didn't expect though, was the way he was suddenly pushed in every direction at once. He'd hopped his way right into the middle of the crowd, the older pupils not even noticing his presence on account of his size. People would shove him every second as they made their way in different directions. Luke let out a little squeak as he got pushed to the floor by a particularly... rotund girl.

"All right, all right!" A booming man's voice cut through the chatter of the crowd. "Off ter the carts yeh go."

Luke just sat there, clutching onto the handle of his bag as it was nearly ripped away from him by the passing crowd. He shouted in surprise when a rough, giant hand pulled him to his feet and made their way out of the crowd and by the lake, a line of boats neatly spread across it.

"Uh, thanks." Luke mumbled quietly. "I wouldn't have been able to get out of there if - holy-"

The man standing in front of him was huge! By far the biggest man he'd ever seen anyway. And no, he wasn't calling him fat. The man actually looked like a giant.

"There you are!" Albus ran to his side from where he was standing next to a boat. "What happened?"

"Them older kids been pushin' 'im around." The booming voice of the man answered for him.

"Ah right. Well at least you got to meet Hagrid!" He smiled at the horror-struck expression on Luke's face. "And yeah, he's a half-giant."

Luke couldn't help but flinch when he heard Hagrid's rough laughing. His giant hand reached out to grab Luke's shoulder and he squeezed it gently.

"Don't yeh worry, I don't bite." Hagrid grinned down at him. Okay, so Luke couldn't help smiling back at that. Besides for Hagrid's size, he definitely didn't seem intimidating.

Now that Luke had relaxed and got himself removed from that hell crowd, he could finally take in the view. Well, the amount he could see without the older students getting in the way. The sun had recently set, leaving the station to be illuminated by the lanterns, the stars, and the moon that shone so elegantly off the smooth black water of the lake. It was surprisingly stunning, and Luke thought that every ripple that disturbed its beauty was a crime against nature.

In the corner of his eye he could see a group of carts, which were being filled by the second to seventh year students. The carts were pulled by some strange horse-like creatures, except they had no hair. Their long noses were slightly flat, resembling a lizard, and long, leathery wings stretched from their backs. The spines stuck out of their backs, leading all the way to the stretched, skeletal tail.

And then he noticed where the lake headed. An enormous castle stood high on the mountains in the distance, the flickering fires on its walls dancing. So many turrets and towers were raised high that Luke lost count after twelve, each one blinking like a beacon. Various bridges spread out from it in different directions and the moonlight shone off of the grand stone walls.

"Come on!" Albus called happily, running back to a boat where he'd kept a space for Luke.

"So why are we going in the boats instead of the carts?" Luke asked after he'd reached him. The boat they had was shared by another two girls he didn't know, one with long, flowing, blonde locks that reached to her lower back and the other with a short brown bob.

"It's tradition for first years to travel in boats across the lake. It takes longer to get there than the carts so everyone can settle at their tables before the sorting."

"Ah. So what were those horsey things?"

"What horsey things?"

"The horses with wings that pulled the carts?"

"I don't know what you're- oh my god, who died?" Al asked him with a sad expression.

"Uh... what?"

"Only people that have witnessed death can see the thestrals." His bright green eyes had dulled sadly now.

"Oh, right... well... my dad died of cancer when I was three... I was in the room with him when he did..." He looked away quickly. Luke didn't really like talking about it too often, it made him want to cry.

Luckily Albus noticed this though, since he nodded at him gloomily and let it drop. They didn't really say much as they climbed into the wooden boat. It went unnoticed by the girls behind them who were both engrossed in a conversation about jinxes.

Luke didn't entirely mind that they set off silently, since it gave him time to think. This was hard though, considering the girls would randomly squeal with delight at particular topics in their conversation. Luke could hear muffled sniggering from Albus whenever he jumped slightly from the girls' outburst.

"It's strange isn't it?" Albus mumbled wistfully. "It's one thing knowing that you're going to come here, but it's different actually being here."

"Yeah." Luke answered with a small smile. As strange as it sounded, he was right.

"I wonder what we'll learn first." Albus had perked up a bit now in excitement.

"Depends what lesson we have first. I think it'll be fun making potions."

"Probably will be - without Snape anyway." Luke raised an eyebrow at Albus with a confused expression after he said it. "The old Potions master. He was a dick. Brave – but a dick." They both laughed.

"Almost there." Luke whispered happily, bouncing slightly in his seat.

"Hey!" The girl with short brown hair grumbled at him irritably after the boat shook from his movement.

"Sorry." Luke muttered after seeing the look she was giving him.

"Ten galleons says she's in Slytherin." Albus whispered in his ear with a laugh that was hard not to join in with.

"Oh god." Luke uttered the words with a small squeak after the laughing died down. "We're here…"

Albus didn't answer him though. He simply smirked at him, pulled the boat closer to the edge and climbed out, holding out a hand to help Luke out.

Luke took the hand rather reluctantly. He was comfortable in the little wooden craft; he didn't have to face any sorting in there. It was oddly quiet outside, the only sound Luke could hear was the crabby voice of the girls saying muttering behind them.

"Yes that's fine; we'll get out on our own." One of the girls spat at them quietly as they turned away from them and the boat. Luke – although hearing them fine – decided not to listen. There was too much on his mind for him to care that somebody hated him about ten minutes into his stay at Hogwarts.

Al had led him over to Hagrid while he was lost in his thoughts; it came as a surprise when the gruff man appeared before him. He didn't feel scared around him anymore; he was oddly comfortable near the big man, as if he could be protected.

"Alrigh' Luke?" The happy voice of the half-giant boomed in his ears.

"Aye, thanks Hagrid." Luke smiled up at him.

"Hagrid's the gamekeeper, Head of Gryffindor and Care for Magical Creatures professor, and a bloody good one at that." Albus beamed at them both and Hagrid let out a cheerful laugh.

"What do you do in Care for Magical Creatures?" Luke asked excitedly. Real magical creatures? They wouldn't have any on the grounds, would they?

"Bit o' clue in the name. Carin' for magical creatures of course!" Hagrid bellowed happily.

"What creatures do you have?" He knew he was grinning like an idiot, but he didn't really care right now.

"Well fer one thing, certainly no more Blast-ended Skrewts!" Albus laughed at this, but Luke had no idea what was so funny. He let it pass though.

It seemed like only seconds before they were at the top of the steps in front of the huge oak doors. Hagrid had gone inside without them, quietly telling the group to wait for someone to come get them.

After about a minute of waiting in silence and still no one to coming to get them, everyone burst out in a fit of chatters all at once. Rose had joined them again, along with an oddly wet girl whose hair stuck to her clothes like glue. Albus however wasn't talking at all. He was glaring at a blond boy near the end of the crowd; the same boy that stared at Luke on the train. His hair was slicked back and his grey eyes as piercing as ever.

"Scorpius Malfoy." Albus spat. "He can't be as bad as his father, but still, he's gonna be bad." Luke didn't really understand this, but didn't push it. At least Al was talking.

They didn't have a lot of time to talk though, since a couple of seconds later a short, scratch that, very short man emerged from the doors. His white hair was pulled back in curtains and his moustache curved neatly over his top lip.

"Professor Flitwick, part-goblin." Albus whispered in Luke's ear.

"Come with me." The high-pitched voice rose through the air to the crowd before him. His short arms pushed open the huge, decorated doors with surprising strength.

Luke was pretty close to the front, so he caught a glimpse of the room behind the door fairly quickly. It. Was. Huge. The centre of the giant marble floor was covered in a regal carpet of gold and red, the Hogwarts logo standing out in the middle. Fires glowed on torches all around the pillar infested walls and four royal hourglasses sat to the right of the room. Each hourglass was filled with beautiful gems of different colours, one colour for each hourglass. Green emeralds filled the hourglass to the far left; blue sapphires in the next; red rubies that shone brighter than the rest in Luke's eyes in the next; and yellow topazes in the far right. The lower bulb of each hourglass was empty at the moment, leaving the upper infested with the jewels.

The first years followed Flitwick into the entrance chamber. Various staircases and corridors led off of the hall, and another enormous door made of dark mahogany stood in the centre wall. A lot of sound was coming from that particular door.

"Welcome to Hogwarts!" Professor Flitwick's high voice averted the dazed students back to the small man as he started the annual speech. "You will take your seats in the Great Hall shortly for the start-of-term banquet, but before you may take your seats, you must be sorted into your houses. The ceremony is important since your houses will be your family during your stay at Hogwarts. You will have classes with your house, sit at your house table in the Great Hall, sleep in your house dormitory and spend free time in your house common room.

The four houses consist of Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw and Slytherin. Each house takes in students with particular traits where these traits will bring out the best of you. Triumphs during your stay at Hogwarts will earn you house points," He gestured to the hourglasses. "And rule-breaking will lose house points. At the end of each year, the house with the most points earns the House Cup.

Now, are we ready? Excellent. Come with me." Flitwick led them through the great mahogany doors - when did they open? - into an even bigger room than the entrance hall. The Great Hall really was a great hall. The ceiling was beautiful; some sort of enchantment had been put on it to show the sky outside. The stars shone down on them as well as the clouded moon. Candles were floating in the air - no strings, just floating there, illuminating the room with dancing yellow light. Four long goblet and plate covered tables were lined up beside each other, wooden benches on each side of each. Another table stood at the head of the hall where the line of staff sat. A beautiful throne stood in the middle of the staff table, where an old stern looking woman sat comfortably. Her frosty white hair was tied tightly in a bun, hidden under a pointed black hat. Emerald green robes ran down her slender frame, flowing to her feet.

Luke's expression was a mix of amazement and horror. The once loud and lively hall had hushed in seconds as the first years entered.

Flitwick rushed in front of them up the small stone steps, gesturing for the students to stay. This was it. There was a strange stool on the top of the stairs, a dusty, patched hat on its top.

Professor Flitwick pulled his wand from his pocket and Luke subconsciously felt his own wand that was residing up his sleeve. They didn't have to do magic did they? He didn't know any spells!

Flitwick flicked his wand through the air; a stack of books appeared from nowhere, smaller piles leading off its side like steps. The tallest stack was just a little taller than the stool.

The tiny professor climbed up the book-steps, hopping onto the tallest stack and staring down at the dirty hat expectedly. That's when Luke realised that the crinkled slit in the hat and stretched like a mouth and two creases a little higher had darkened like gloomy eyes; and then... wait, no way... was it singing?

Apparently so.

It was a short song, filled with rhymes and the story of how the four wizards founded the school and how the houses came to be. The slitted mouth had straightened back to a closed line, but the eyes still stared into the distance.

"Sonorus." Professor Flitwick whispered from atop the books, his wand pointed at his throat and a rolled parchment appearing in his hands.

"When you're name is called," Flitwick's suddenly magnified voice roared across the hall. "You will take a seat on the stool, place the hat on your head where it shall announce your house, and you shall take your seat at the respective table." Everyone was silent before he started the list with:

"Adams, Suzie."

"HUFFLEPUFF!" The hat bellowed the second it touched her head. This wasn't the case with everyone though. Sometimes the hat would proclaim the house the moment it touched the head, other times it would take its time.

"Hopkins, Matthew."

"SLYTHERIN!"

At certain times the hats mouth would move and mouth words, but nothing would come out. The wearer's expressions reacted to the hats unspoken words however.

"Kent, Luke." Fuck! How long had he been thinking? Albus patted him encouragingly on the shoulder before his legs carried him gingerly up the steps. He took a seat on the stool; Flitwick immediately dropping the hat on his head.

"Oh, a Welsh wizard." The hat's voice rung through his mind. "Coincidentally, chi'n llawer fel Helga Hufflepuff." The hat started speaking Welsh, much to Luke's amusement.

"Oedd hi'n Cymraeg hefyd ti'n gwybod." The hat told him as his mind automatically translated:

Coincidentally, you're a lot like Helga Hufflepuff. She was Welsh too you know.

And then he realised. The hat was going to sort him in Hufflepuff. He wouldn't be with Albus or Rose.

"Not so fast, boy." The hat's voice spoke again, in English this time. "You're a lot like Hufflepuff, but not completely. You have the bravery he wanted. In fact, I think Godric would be angry if I didn't..." Wait, was he...?

"GRYFFINDOR!" The voice bellowed from above him, out loud this time. Yes, yes, yes! The hat was lifted from his head by Professor Flitwick's tiny hands and he rushed off to the clapping table. Luke could vaguely see Rose and Albus celebrating in the corner of his eye. It was hard not to smile wildly as he took a seat on the bench next to a second year. He seemed familiar somehow...

"Welcome to the clan, Luke!" James clapped him on the shoulder. Oh right, Al's brother. "We're the best by far." James winked at him. The only other Gryffindor first years so far was Tyler Carroll, a tall, slightly podgy boy with short dirty blond hair; and Carly Fegan, a girl with light brown wavy hair.

"Watch this." James whispered in his ear, pointing over to the silver and green table across the room. "I'm getting a head start on Slytherin this year."

Luke looked over at the Slytherin table, just as a goblet in front of an overly tanned boy started spitting red slime across the group in that area. Luke laughed with James at this, but not many over people noticed; the sound was drowned out by the Ravenclaws applauding their newest member.

Luke didn't really pay attention to the others getting sorted. Even when other students were sorted into Gryffindor he'd only notice when they sat down in front of him. By now the Gryffindors were made up of Luke, Tyler Carroll, Carly Fegan, Ella Morris and Daniel O'Ryan. Luke greeted them all happily when they sat down and then went back to his thoughts.

"Oaks, Jennifer." Luke's attention was caught when he saw the short haired girl from the boat climb the steps with a dark smirk. Luke was sure the hat sighed when it touched her head before shouting:

"SLYTHERIN!" The green table erupted with claps and cheering.

"I owe Albus ten galleons." Luke mumbled to James from the side of his mouth. James just rolled his eyes and smiled. Most of the students were already seated as the list neared its end.

"Potter, Albus." Flitwick squeaked from atop his books.

"Come on, little bro." James mumbled to himself more than Luke.

The hat's mouth started moving again. Albus didn't seem surprised or anything, he almost looked like he was having an everyday conversation.

"GRYFFINDOR!" The hat roared and Al smirked, strutting over confidently and taking a seat next to Luke.

"Well done, mate." Luke beamed at him.

"Dad'll be proud. Mum will probably make a speech that it wouldn't have mattered which house you were in, but secretly be happy you're in Gryffindor." James grinned knowingly, causing Albus to roll his eyes.

"Well, I'm glad, anyway." Albus got acquainted with his fellow Gryffindors quickly and their attentions turned back to the sorting. Luke WANTED to pay attention to the sorting, but his mind always drifted off to the possibilities of being a wizard, only to be brought back to reality when another Gryffindor joined them.

Once Ffion Riley joined their table, Luke did his best to focus on the sorting, he felt selfish that he wasn't.

"Scamander, Lorcan." An oddly pale boy with very light brown shoulder-length hair skipped to the stool.

"Cool, we have identical twins in our year." Luke said once he saw that there were two of them.

"Yeah, their Luna's kids." Albus answered him, earning another confused look from Luke. "Mum and Dad's friend." Al explained to him.

"Ah right."

"RAVENCLAW!" The hat roared again.

"Scamander, Lysander."

"RAVENCLAW!"

"Knew it." Albus said beside him. Luke half-watched the others getting sorted; only getting his full attention when someone he knew or a Gryffindor was announced.

A boy called Sam Turner had just joined them and Luke was just about to drift back into his thought when:

"Weasley, Rose."

Rose walked up the steps happily, plopping onto the stool and having the hat dropped on her head, all without losing her smile. The hat's mouth speechlessly moved again, only causing her to smile even more.

"GRYFFINDOR!" The hat's voice boomed around the hall in that same tone it harboured whenever sorting someone. Luke, Albus and James clapped the hardest out of all the Gryffindors as Rose sat down opposite them.

"Atta girl!" James praised her as Luke and Albus whistled cheekily.

The final Gryffindor joined them soon after, another girl called Eliza Yorke and the sorting finished with a Slytherin boy, William Zane.

Before it was possible for anyone to start talking, the woman in the emerald green robes rose from the throne, raising her arms out happily. Her stern faced turned to an expression of bubbly delight as she smiled down at each of them.

"Who's-"

"Headmistress Minerva McGonagall." Albus answered Luke's question before he could ask it.

"Welcome, students!" McGonagall greeted them all cheerily. "Welcome to Hogwarts, whether old or new to the castle, Hogwarts greets you with open arms." She opened her arms impossibly wider.

"Before the banquet, I would just like to say: Enjoy!" And the thousands of plates and goblets on each table filled with a mixture of more food than Luke even knew about. Lamb, Beef, Chicken, Pork, Sausages, Ribs, Soup, Bread, Chips, Gravy, Sauces; the list went on and on. Luke eventually got tired of counting the foods however, and hastily stuffed his plate high.

"Not used to banquets, Luke?" Rose teased him jokingly.

"How smart of you to notice." Luke retorted happily. He was about to say more when suddenly a mix of laughter and gasps were making their way up the table from one end to the other. Luke couldn't see what was going on until a pale head popped out of the plate of drumsticks, just as Luke was reaching for one.

"GAHH!" He screamed in shock, pulling his hand back and flicking a drumstick over to the next table. Albus looked a little less surprised, Rose was shaking her head with a smirk and a roll of her eyes and James was full out laughing.

"Hiya, Nick!" He greeted the ghost before he could leave and pop out of another plate.

"Greetings, James!" The transparent man answered. "These are the first years I presume?" He turned to the mix of happy and terrified kids.

"Yep!" James said happily. "This is my brother Albus," He pointed to Al. "my cousin Rose," He pointed at Rose. "And their friend Luke." He pointed at Luke.

"Welcome to Gryffindor!" He exclaimed in greeting. "I'm Sir Nicholas de Mimsy-Porpington, resident ghost of Gryffindor Tower!" He introduced himself. Now that Luke was out of his petrified state, he took in the man-ghost-thing's appearance. A frilled medieval collar lay across his neck and over his Victorian - at least Luke thought it was Victorian - robes. His beard was pointed off of his chin and his moustache stiffly straight across his upper-lip. His hair was slightly curly, lifted above his forehead like a quiff and sticking out in wild curls.

"How's Peeves?" James asked him excitedly.

"We've managed to keep him away from the first years for tonight."

"Aw, but that's boring!"

"Who's Peeves?" Rose asked Sir Nicholas, the first time Luke had seen her confused.

"The school poltergeist!" Nick spat.

"He runs - well, floats - around the school, pulling pranks and causing havoc." James explained to them, a slight twinkle in his eye.

"Sounds like an annoying bugger. Like you." Albus told James, earning him a smack on the arm.

The rest of the banquet was full of talking, laughter and many shows from both Sir Nicholas and James.

Luke could definitely get used to this.

Would have updated sooner, but... I'm lazy. Guess what! I have... TWO REVIEWS! WOOOOOOOOOOOOO! My second review from Pasdoll. LOVE YA! :3

I think I have Luke under control now. Maybe. I don't know.

Luke: I-I-I've l-learned to a-accept my f-f-fate...

Me: Goooooood boy.

James: As long as Luke is hot in the future I don't mind being with him.

Me: YAY! JAMES IS A GOOD BOY!

James: Sometimes I think you're high.

Me: Yeah... I get that a lot. (I'm not though just so you know. Ugh, no way.)

So this is the last of little eleven year old kiddies. ONWARDS TO SEXY TIME!