Dear Iggy,
DUDE, YOU'RE TAKING LETTERS?
I never thought you'd learn how to use a computer! Hahaha!
And dude, Tony totally saw you drunk the other night! He filmed you and showed me, you looked out of your head, dude! I mighta died laughing at you, y'know, are all british people that weird?
Pffft!
From,
THE HERO, AMERICAAAAAAAAA!
Alfred,
Firstly yes, I am quite obviously taking letters. Congratulations – I never thought you'd learn how to read.
Secondly, I have no idea what you're talking about. Kindly stop slandering my good name – it's bad enough that I'm associated with you without you lying about me to boot. Would that you had died laughing though, perhaps that way I might finally get some peace. But for the record, British people are not weird. Nor, by the way, do they all have bad teeth.
The same to you…git.
Sincerely,
Arthur (not Iggy! That is not my name, so kindly stop addressing me by it.)
Iggy! x333 How nice of you to answer some questions! I will enjoy this very much *rubs hands together* Mhuahahahaha!
1. Why won't you drink with your brothers anymore?
2. You're held prisoner? By who and why?
3. Italy says hi! (not really a question.. but still ,)
Ok, that's it for now. But I SHALL be back! *epic magic poof*
Good afternoon um…miss, I assume?
My brothers….well. My brothers tend to be rather creative with their drinking games, and the ensuing humiliation isn't worth the alcohol.
I…sorry? Oh, I see. It's a figure of speech – held prisoner by no little trepidation. It means I'm somewhat worried about what sort of questions will come through.
He does? Well…hello to him, I suppose.
I'm glad to hear it, thank you for your questions.
Sincerely,
Arthur.
Bonjour mon ami~
What are you saying? Sending parcels? Moi? Don't be ridiculous!
A little bird told me you are answering questions!
Ohonhonhon~ this shall be fun.
Une - Do you still 'ave that waiters costume you wore pour moi with christmas?
Deux - Amerique asked if it is ok to throw a party in your holiday home! But
since you are held captive... or somezing... we shall leave the mess for you,
non?
Au revoir Angleterre~
Francis,
Why do you insist on tormenting me like this? Oh, and don't you dare try and act innocent. You tried to mail yourself to me once and I haven't forgotten it. It was years before I could go near a parcel again. shudders
One – I, um…I don't know what you're talking about. I don't own a waiter costume.
Two - No it is not bloody okay! Don't you dare! I swear if you break any of my tea sets I will turn you into a poodle, don't think I won't.
Arthur.
P.S – I'm not joking. Go anywhere near my holiday home and I will turn you into a poodle.