Only You Understand My Pain
Kakashi x Hinata
Chapter 24
Healing
Hinata felt apprehensive as she made her way to the training field. It had been two days since she had seen Kakashi. Two days, since she fell apart in front of him. In front, of the strongest jounin in all of Konoha. The man who had brought her from the edge of death.
"Kami I must look like a truly pathetic woman in his eyes." She said with chagrin.
Tsunade had her working the last two days full time at the hospital. Giving her a reason to miss training without resorting to lies. The only time away from training at the hospital Hinata spent next to Akamaru's side. He was still wasting away and she felt powerless. She finally resorted in begging Tsume and Hana for the Inuzuka clan's secret medical scrolls.
Last night she had spent the entire night concealed under her genjutsu. Reading over and over again the scrolls in hopes of finding something…anything, that could keep Akamaru from death. Unfortunately she found most of the scrolls, dealt with healing deep wounds. Or ridding ninken of worms, insect bites, and a few scrolls contained special herbal treatments. To rid the host of fleas and ticks. When it came to the subject, of nin dogs losing their human owner and bond mate. The diagnoses was always grim.
The only promising item, she had found was in a old faded scroll. It had stated that in a few rare documented cases. A ninken was able to survive, by bonding with an individual, who was close to the fallen shinobi's bond mate. An individual, the ninken knew since they were a pup. One who they trusted and knew their mastered had trusted with their life.
Hinata had found herself so overcome with hope. That in her excitement of reading something that was positive. She had taken, the risk of slipping out of the clan's compound. Pounding on the Inuzuka's front door at two in the morning.
Hinata found herself, smiling as she remembered the sight that greeted her at the door. She had heard Kiba over the years, repeatedly complaining about how hideous his older sister was. So horrifying, that she resembled, an alien invader from one of his sci-fi manga.
Even though she and Shino both scoffed at him. Kiba still insisted he was right and that her skin was truly green. He would then turn away and pout when she started giggling. Shino's deep chuckle joining hers. Calling his best friend, the male version of a 'drama queen' to Kiba's disgust. This would lead, both alpha males into a round of name calling. Which would easily, escalate to a heated sparing match. Leaving Hinata once again to play referee. Oh, how she hated being put into the middle.
'Now, what I wouldn't give… to see those two fighting once more. I would gladly be referee. If it meant they were both safe and alive.' She sighed inwardly, her feet shuffling slowly across the dirt path. Shaking the sad thoughts from her mind. She once again remembered the sight of Hana as she slammed the door open, screaming menacingly.
"This had better be fucking important. Do you have any idea what time it is….oh Hinata it's you…"Her brown eyes going slightly sheepish. Of course Hinata hadn't help when she began giggling. Her hand, trying desperately to cover the wide grin on her lips. Eyes filled with amusement as they stared up at Hana. She couldn't help herself even as Hana frowned. Kiba had been right she did look like an insane, green skinned, alien.
Eyes wide, nose flaring in anger. As she stood face covered in a light green, avocado, face mask. The kicker was how she pinned her hair. It stood up in wild clumps. Here and there, in no discernable pattern. All she needed was a pair of bobble head antennae and she would have made the perfect alien.
It had taken, a few minutes for Hinata to control her laughter and explain to Hana why she was standing there in the dead of night, laughing.
She had watched as Hana's eyes clouded and took on a far away look. As if remembering something. Within a few minutes, Hana snorted before breaking into loud laughter. Sitting down to a hot cup of tea. The two spent, the nightly hours reminiscing about Kiba.
By morning, Hinata had left the Inuzuka clan home slightly downhearted and a bit discontented. Feeling naïve, she had placed so much hope in what she read in the old scroll. She had sat in the cozy Inuzuka clan kitchen. trying to convince Hana. Both her and her mother Tsume fit the criteria described. Only to have Hana explain it would never work. Both she and Tsume had spent time day and night by Akamaru's side and nothing had happened. His health continued to decline.
As she made her way, past team ten's training area and towards team eight's. She knew what Hana had told her, was true. Yet, it didn't stop her heart from breaking further. Once again, she had been of little help to the Inuzuka family. The most, she had accomplished was to get Akamaru to take a few bites of dried meat from her hand. An image, of his head dropping sadly to the bed. His sad, whimper filling the room. Kami how that picture haunted her mind.
"Kami, I am so damn useless!" Hinata growled under her breath, her teeth clenching. Walking blindly into the clearing, lost in thought. Hinata gasped, in surprise when Kakashi dropped down in font of her. From the tall fir tree above. Seeing the little orange book in his hand. Hinata blushed, remembering what she had read. As if picking up, on her embarrassment. Though not knowing the true reason. Kakashi quickly, stuffed the book into his back pocket.
"I thought, you promised me that the next time I saw you… it would be with a smile?" Kakashi tsked, tapping her nose playfully. "I don't see that promised smile Bara."
Hinata, found herself unable to stop, the twitch at the corner of her lips. As she fought to stop smiling. Yet in the end, he won.
Staring down at her, lost in that soft smile he didn't realize until it was too late. "I missed you." His whispered words, hung between them. Causing him to stumble over his next words like an idiot.
"I…I mean…missed us…I mean… you're training." He sounded so silly, stammering like she use to years ago. Hinata could not control the giggle that left her lips.
"I missed you too." She smiled shyly.
"How is Akamaru doing?" He asked warily. Hoping not to upset her.
"The same… I'm afraid." Hinata sighed, sadly. "I have been of little help. I found nothing in their clan scrolls to help." Another sad sigh leaving her. "I'm pretty much useless huh." Her eyes avoiding his.
Shaking his head, sadly. He reached out, grasping her by both shoulders.
"Enough!" His voice harsh. "I am not, going to listen to my star pupil put herself down. His hands moving from her shoulders, to cup her face, gentle between his rough hands. Her breath caught, as he took a step closer. Staring, sternly into her lavender pale eyes.
"Hinata, I wish you could see what I do!" With that he dropped his hands and turned away. "Let's get training we only have a few hours left before sunset." Walking away to the center of the field. Hinata stood frozen. His voice echoing in her mind.
'Does Kakashi actually think I have the ability to actually do something with my abilities. I have so far been absolutely useless. All these hopes, I have had… to do something good in Shino and Kiba's name. My Aoi kaen genkai, has been useless. Akamaru is still dieing.' She thought inwardly. 'Yet he says…See what I do.'
The sound, of his throat clearing shaking her from her hopeless thoughts. Slipping off her coat and dropping it on the grass. She slowly walked over, moving to stand in front of him. Waiting patiently for his instruction.
"I was talking with Tsunade yesterday. She is curious to see how you would do, if we used both your Aoi kaen and byakugan together." Kakashi eyed her closely. "I have to agree I am curious of what changes might take place and just how much it will effect your chakra."
In other words, how long can I use both before becoming too drained and passing out." Hinata smirked. "It would be good to know and practice with it would strengthen my stamina."
"Agreed."
Moving into position, arms out, fingers extended. With a whisper, Hinata activated her bloodline. The veins rising around her pale, near pupiless eyes.
"Alright Hinata, go ahead and activate your Aoi kaen." His hand moving, to lift up the hitai-ate from his left eye. His mask already lowered earlier. When they were alone he didn't see the reason in keeping it up. There was no need to with Hinata.
"Now take it slow…okay" Activating his Sharingan he watched her carefully.
Using both genkai, Hinata could feel the pull on her chakra immediately. It pulled at her chakra faster then when using only her byakugan. However it was to be expected. That was why they had spent so many hours increasing her chakra stamina. Now it was finally paying off, before she would have collapsed within seconds. Now she could practice her chakra blades with her drain to her body, though slightly tiring, was not debilitating. With practice, she would grow even stronger with her control.
Kakashi watched, with amazement as she spent the next half hour. Shifting the size and width of her chakra blades. Enjoying the sight of the glowing blue blades as she moved her hands through the air around her. She always reminded him more of a dancer then a kunoichi when she moved. Her movements graceful and elegant, like the wind itself.
"You're doing good, Hinata!" Kakashi couldn't help put cheer. "Do you need a break?"
"I'm okay." She smiled, looking over at hi. Her eyebrows, pulling up into a frown. She had gazed upon Kakashi numerous times with her byakugan.
Watching how his chakra moved through his now with her Aoi kaen and byakugan together it was like seeing him in a completely different could see his chakra network like never before. It was as if her senses had been heightened. Her vision seeing every minute movement, down to the detail of the different shading in his chakra. What had always looked like one color, shifting through his body was actually something entirely more.
She could see the way the color, brightened and dimmed in areas of his body. The color, flowing like a river. Her new vision, showing her every detail, down to the smallest veins. Chakra veins, smaller then what most microscopes could detect, she imagined.
"Hinata are you okay?" Kakashi voice holding a tone of concern.
"Amazing…" She breathed, taking a step closer. She paused, then slowly took another step closer. Kakashi concern growing as he watched her. She finally stopped when she was standing directly in front of him. Her eyes traveling up and down his body. Her face alight with excitement and awe. Kakashi found himself growing warm under her exploring eyes.
"Hinata?" He asked nervously. "Are you ok…"His words trailing off as she reached up her Aoi kaen glowing softly in the palm of her hands. Her hands moving along his arm. She could feel his chakra as it responded to hers.
"Hinata!" Kakashi gapped. Her touch warming his already heated skin. Her chakra, causing a slight tingle. Like a gentle, electric static brushing slowly across his skin.
She was so consumed, by this new world she could see. She didn't even blush as she touched his upper arms, moving across his chest and down the muscles of his stomach. Before moving slowly up again.
Kakashi felt as if he would never, get enough oxygen into his lungs again. His breath stolen away by the sensations she drew with her innocent touch. He was slowly going insane and having his sharingan activated did not help. With hormone, driven adrenaline rushing through him. By her soft, chakra filled touch, he began to feel light headed.
Hinata gasped her hands moving to his face. She could see it all now. How the intricate structure of the sharingan worked.
"Hinata…"Kakashi breath heavy. "I…I …you…need to stop!" Pushing her hands away from his face. Closing his left eye, deactivating the sharingan. His hand rubbing his forehead.
"I…I know what's wrong." Her voice, suddenly holding a tone of amazed awareness.
"Know what Hinata?" Kakashi grounded out darkly. "Just what where you doing?" His body feeling drained.
"I see what Rin missed."
"What the hell are you going on about Hinata?" He said exasperated, dropping to sit on the ground.
Releasing both genkai, Hinata blinked several times before gazing down. A wide smile growing on her soft face.
"Kakashi the Aoi kaen does more then heal. When used with my byakugan…I…I…oh Kakashi it was like!" She gasped awed, dropping to her knees in front of him. "It was as if I had been in darkness my whole life and then someone just suddenly flipped on the lights switch. I could see chakra in ways, I never knew were possible. Ways never described in all those medical scrolls."
Kakashi stared at her speechless. Her face, more lively then he had ever seen. A joy filling it with a near childlike wonder.
"Kakashi…"Her hand going to his arm. "I know why your sharingan drains you so quickly. I can see exactly why you can not deactivate it like a pure blood Uchiha. I know Kakashi…" Her voice dropping to a soft whisper. "I now know."
"You can?' Was all he managed to get out, still in shock of it all.
"Yes!" Her voice nearly a girly squeal. Her hand gripping his arm tighter in her excitement.
"You see there are nerves, microscopic to a normal eye….well…hell even to a typical Hyuga genkai's vision." She chuckled softly. "But I can see them… all of them!" She smiled, shyly. Noticing her hand touching his arm. With a blush she let go, tilting her head down. Her long, midnight blue, hair swinging forward to cover her red cheeks.
"I think when Rin transplanted…"Her voice trailing off. She didn't want to make him sad by saying Obito's name.
"Anyways, I don't think there was anyway Rin could see all of those small nerve endings and the veins that are needed to make you're chakra flow properly to the sharingan. Without them properly aligned and attached, you have been unable to use the sharingan. Deactivating it when you want." Pausing, suddenly Hinata bit her lip nervously.
"Kakashi do you trust me?" She asked nervously.
"Of course Hinata."
"Trust me enough… to let me use, both my genkai and repair those severed nerves and chakra veins?" She waited anxiously, still unable to look him in the eyes.
"Wait!" His voice coming out confused. "Hinata are you telling me you can make my left eye…my sharingan, work like it is meant. Like a true Uchiha Sharingan ."
He watched her head bob up and down slowly.
"That I could activate and deactivate it by will. Not to have it always activated… draining my chakra?"
Hinata nodded, softly again.
After a few silent minutes he took her hands in his.
"Hinata…I trust you with my life. If you say you can do it, I know you can."
Hinata breath caught, as her head jerked upwards. Surprised by the strength of his voice, as if he spoke from his heart. No one besides Shino and Kiba ever believed that strongly in her. Trusted in her completely. Yet, here Kakashi was saying it without hesitation.
"Alright then." Hinata whispered softly, moving closer to him. Her gentle hands removing the hitai-ate from his head. Her fingers brushing softly through his silver hair before reverently laying it on the ground.
Leaning in, she could feel his slightly accelerated breath, against her face. With a whisper she activated both genkai. It seemed the more she did it. The quicker, it came to her flowing through her. Feeling as natural as if it was always meant to be used together.
"Kakashi… I need you to be perfectly still." She said softly. "I am not certain but it might hurt. If I am correct when I connect these nerve ending and restore the chakra veins to flow properly. You will experience a slight flash of sharp pain and a slight burning sensation." She paused waiting for him to regret his decision and to tell her to stop.
He watched as she once again bit her bottom lip nervously. The more he saw her do this, the more endearing the sight was to behold.
"Sweetheart, I have suffered pain a hell of a lot worse then what you are describing." He smirked as he watched her lips part in surprise. Growing suddenly serious, he gazed into her genkai activated eyes.
"Hinata, I truly meant what I said. I trust you Mai Bara." His hand, brushing her cheek before he laid back against the grass. Hinata hovered over him, her face a mixture of fear, determination, and hope.
"Okay." She breathed softly. Her hands moving to his face. Holding his face within her hands. The Aoi kaen chakra, tingling against his skin.
"Close your eyes and keep them closed till I say… okay." He nodded, letting both eyes slip closed. He could feel the drain of having both eyes open, ebb slowly away. He felt himself, relaxing under the gentle touch of her, soft hands. How he would love to feel those hands trail over the rest of his bare skin.
"Are you ready?"
"Yes."
Taking a long, steady breath. Hinata gathered her Aoi kaen chakra into her hands. Forming miniscule drops of blue chakra at the tips of her index fingers. Using the Chakra no Mesu technique Tsunade had trained her in, she made her first incision. Her movements quick to keep blood loss to a minimum.
Concentrating, each incision had to be precise or he would become blind. Losing, not only the power of the sharingan but his entire vision. Taking another steadying breath. She increased her genkai. Letting her heightened, joined genkai's show her each miniscule nerve ending. With microscopic incision cuts she removed the dead nerve endings. Reattaching each and every one of them with care. Each one had to be reattached to what was left of Kakashi original optic nerves.
Beads of sweat soon covered her forehead. Hinata ignored the fatigue, to her own body as she continued on. Painstakingly cleaning the edges of the chakra veins before reattaching them. Watching carefully to see that each minute vein flowed smoothly with his chakra. Her incision, not letting a single drop of his precious blood spill. There would be no further scaring to the skin around his eye. She made sure she healed as quickly as she cut.
Sighing heavily, she wiped at her forehead. It had already been twenty minutes, longer then she had first anticipated.
"Just…a…little…longer…Kakashi…"Her breath, growing labored. Her words broken with fatigue. Yet she pushed onward. She had to make sure, she didn't miss a single nerve or chakra vein.
Then with an exhausted sigh she sat back, disengaging both genkai.
"Done!" A tired, smile filling her face.
"Hinata are you alright?" Kakashi asked, wincing slightly as he slowly opened his right eye. A small headache crossing his forehead.
"Kakashi can you open your left eye?" Hinata asked. Her hands touching his face gentle in concern.
Wincing once again, he slowly opened his scared eye. Blinking a few times.
At first he saw nothing but darkness causing a slight concern to crossing his dark, silver brow. After a few seconds the darkness began to fade, his sight slowly returning.
"It may be blurry for a little while." She told him softly.
Blinking, a few times he noticed the haze over his vision retreating. It felt so odd not to see everything with the sight of the sharingan. Where he normally would see the world in high speed, colors crisp and overly bright. Now it was as if everything was the same just as it had been when he was a youth with two normal blue eyes.
The draining fatigue he always faced when uncovering his left eye was gone. It was a relief in a way, yet foreign in another. It had been so many years keeping his eye covered. Seeing with only peripheral vision.
"Kakashi… how many fingers am I holding up?" Hinata's hand moving in front of his face. Two fingers displayed.
"Two." Kakashi chuckled softly. "I can see two perfect… normal looking fingers."
"Good!" Hinata sighed relieved, a small blush growing on her cheeks. "Now, do not try to use your sharingan for the next few days. The nerve endings are all attached so you don't have to worry. Your sharingan will work…but I am concerned that if you do use it too soon, there may be problems. You need to let the swelling go down, before you activate it… okay?"
He gave her a nod. Leaning on his elbows, he slowly sat up expecting dizziness yet finding himself fine. He felt in awe of it all. So many years stuck with peripheral vision. Depending on his other senses in his shinobi duties. Using his left eye only in needed times because of the drain to his system.
With one eye, blue as the sky. The other dark as nightfall. He gazed into her eyes. His gaze never leaving her as he sat the rest of the way up.
"You did it!" Kakashi smiled at her.
"Yes…yes I did!" Her voice giddy with joy. Her eyes locking with his, both growing silent.
Kakashi never imagined Hinata could be more beautiful then she already was. Not until now, seeing her with both eyes. Left him at a loss for words.
She was a work of art. Her eyes were not white pupiless clouds. They were like, moonstone touched with a hint of lavender amethyst. Her skin perfect like fine porcelain. Lips soft, pink and heart shaped.
"Kakashi." Hinata whispered, a blush dusting her cheeks. "Why are you staring at me?" She shifted nervously.
"Because, I wanted you to be the only thing I looked upon with my restored vision." He smiled. "You're beautiful." He said, in a low velvet tone. A smile growing, when he witnesses that bright, crimson blush grace her face with his new eyesight.
Hinata couldn't stop the blush that grew the longer he stared at her.
'Beautiful?' She thought. 'Maybe his visions still blurry.' Unable to stand his constant gaze, she turned away. Her blush heating her cheeks like a flaming fire.
Looking around the clearing to avoid his gaze. It finally sunk in. Her heart began to race with the knowledge she was finally been able to help someone. That all her medical studies and training with her Aoi kaen had finally come to mean something. Something, she had wished for ever since they had died. The only reason she hadn't ended her own life. She could help others and in time maybe save lives."
"Hinata what are you thinking?" Kakashi asked as he watched her staring off, lost in thought.
"Oh…it's nothing." She sighed. "Are you in any pain?" Her face turning back to him. He once again felt captured by her ethereal beauty. Even the pink scar, that curved along the side of her cheek was alluring. Like the warrior's mark of an Amazon queen.
"I'm fine Hinata… just a slight headache. Other than that I'm perfect." He grinned, rubbing his hand across his forehead.
"Here let me." Hinata smiled softly. Gathering a healing chakra into the palm of her hands. She lifted her arms, slowly moving her palms across his forehead.
Starting in the middle, then slowly moving her hand apart. Till she reached each temple of his head. Taking her thumb and two fingers, she gentle moved them in a circular motion. Letting his eyes slip closed savoring her healing touch. His skin tingling under her touch. Her delicate fingers glowed, shimmering with a light blue chakra. is headache soothed away under her skillful hands.
After a few minutes, her hands dropped away.
"B…better?" She stammered, as her own vision blurred. Her head, feeling suddenly like it was filled with puffy, white clouds. Kakashi's eyes opened quickly, hearing the strain in her voice.
"Hinata?"
"I'm f…fine." She mumbled, before falling forward onto his chest. Her body drained and pushed to its limit. Pulling her close, her head lolled back against the crook of his arm.
"You're exhausted Bara." Kakashi said softly, brushing a stray strand of hair from her face.
"I'll be fi…fine." She managed to mutter before her vision once again swam before her.
"Shh…don't talk. Just close you're eyes and rest." His fingers, brushing through her midnight hair tenderly.
"I have you." He whispered gently.
"Mmm…"Was all she managed before succumbing to her exhaustion.
Sitting there under the canopy of trees. The sunlight filtering through the wind blown leaves. Kakashi sat quietly, captured by the beauty of her sleeping vision.
Dark eyelashes standing out against soft porcelain, white cheeks. Her lips, slightly parted reminding him of soft petals.
Without even realizing that he probably shouldn't. His thumb brushed a crossed her parted lips. He couldn't help notice they felt even softer then they looked.
"Hinata…"He smiled softly. His voice a bare whisper in the forest air .
"Thank you… my sweet, Bara. You have healed more then my eyes today." Letting his thumb, brush once more across her bottom lip. Trailing down and along the curve of her jaw. Before pulling her close, burying his face in her soft dark curls. His heart full and whole.
O.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.O.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.O
Okay another chapter finished. I hope I did it justice. I tried to make it more romantic then all text book medical and jutsu ranting. LOL
As I said before no fear Akamaru will survive. I think you all picked up the hints how he will pull
Well as always pretty… pretty… please click the button below and tell me what you thought.? Just no flames… well unless you have my little made up 'genkai Aoi kaen'. Now that would be cool to see come through my emails …LMAO
Oi! I need sleep!!!! I have been up all night on nothing but coffee and Lacuna Coil music. It is now 8 am ahhhh. See you need to review to save me a bit of what little sanity I have left. LOL!
Again hope you all enjoy and a early Happy Holidays to you all!!!!!!!
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Japanese terms
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Aoi kaen….blue flame…(Aoi kaen is my own made up genkai for Hinata in this fanfic)
hitai-ate….head band
Ninken…nin dog
Mai bara…my rose
Bara…rose
Kami…God
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Medical Ninjutsu: Strong Beam
Chakra Scalpel (Chakra no Mesu)
The Chakra Scalpel is simply medical-nin focusing their chakra into their hands. The medic can then use the chakra for surgery by moving the chakra through the body to cut muscles and organs without harming the skin. The technique can also be used in battle, but due to the chakra control needed can prove difficult.