Chapter Five

~Zachary Goode~

When your best friend and wife has gone missing, officials assuming she was killed, it tears your entire being. It drains the life from you, consuming you with contrite thoughts for yourself. You forget how to live. You forget, momentarily, that you have a living-breathing-child that you both helped create. You lose sight of all things rational and those memories-those painful memories-of the years you spent together become distant and tangible simultaneously.

That, has been my life for the past seven years.

.

.

.

"Zach, pick up the damn phone!" Bex picked up the device and pushed it against my chest. For a moment I couldn't register anything moving around me. Every memory of heartbreak and remorse of that first year without her came flooding back.

"Hello…? Mr. Goode..?" said the voice of the FBI agent.

Bex gave me a look so I decided not to test fate, "I-I'm here…"

It hurts so much.

Grant came up behind Bex and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. I didn't realize before, but Bex looked wary. Her eyes were wide with anticipation and grief. I understood why. Cammie and Bex had been best friends ever since Bex moved to our little town in Boston. They had been closely knit, them and Macey. The three of them did everything together, especially considering Bex's boyfriend happened to be one of my best friends-Grant, and Macey had many one-night-stands, resulting in many group dates.

Right after we graduated from Cherrytop South High School, we decided to get married, much to my father's doubt. But at least everyone else seemed to except this, not that we would've cared. It wasn't like we were high school sweethearts. We weren't rushing into an anything. We've known each other for over thirteen years, dating for almost seven.

During college, Cammie, Bex, Grant, and Macey all went to Boston University. Cammie and I had gotten an apartment together that we lived in for two years before Cammie and I had enough credits to graduate undergrad and go to Law School. Years later, when I was twenty-three and Cammie was two months shy of the same age, we discovered that Cammie was pregnant with our little girl-Cammie being two and a half months along already.

We both had steady jobs. I was moving up in a prestigious law firm, and Cammie was quickly branching up in the FBI, becoming a well known agent in not just the Boston area, but within the whole Bureau. I was extremely proud of the amazing woman I was privileged to call my wife. But, when she reached six months, the beginning of the last term of her pregnancy, she was told to go on maternity leave. She refused unwaveringly until I convinced her that I wanted my family safe. That if anything were to happen to them if she were out on the field, I wouldn't be able to live with myself. She agreed by throwing up on my shoes. Apparently she still had morning sickness now and then. Her doctor put her on bed rest after that.

The rest was a painful memory of our last moments together, one week of our family being whole.

One fucking week of our family being whole.

"Oh good, you're still there…" I heard him sigh over the phone. "Do you have a moment to talk?"

"It's my little girl's birthday party," I rubbed the heel of my hand against my aching forehead. "My wife's case has been left cold for six years…" I croaked.

Damn, my chest.

"I know sir, it will only take a minute."

I was so tired of these officials talking bull. The first year of the case was hard enough. The questions they asked were too…exposing…too personal.

What side of the bed did you and your wife sleep on?

Were you both sexually active?

Were you both sexually active with each other or were there…indiscretions?

Did you fight?

Did you abuse your wife…did you abuse her while she was pregnant?

I'm not strong enough, Angel…I'm sorry. So sorry.

"Where's my wife?" My head is pounding. MC and her friends are playing outside with the Jasmine impersonator. I can see the snow clouds rolling in.

It's definitely winter.

"We got word that she contacted the police in Sedona, Arizona…"

So far away…

"Now, the local police in Sedona and the FBI agency down there are gathering a search party. She contacted the police from a pay phone at a Safeway grocery store in Aerlis County in Sedona."

"Is there any way to track her? Did anyone see her? What about video footage?" My mind was racing with all of the possibilities.

"We are going over the video footage from the grocery store and the gas station right next door. There is in fact footage of your wife that we would like for you to see. As far as witnesses, there are three: the manager of the store, a soccer mom, and a business man; CEO of Townsend Investments. They were taken by bureau officers to be questioned. That's all of the information we have right now. It is 11 AM in Boston, correct?"

I checked the time on my watch. "Yes?"

"It's 9 o'clock in Arizona, she contacted the police at 7:16 AM."

"I'm catching the next flight to Arizona," I told the government official.

"I wouldn't recommend that, Mr. Goode," he said warily over the phone.

The damn official!

"Why the Hell not?" I seethed. Don't deny me my wife.

"Sir, you'll only make things more difficult. It would be best if you went to the FBI agency your wife worked for and had them run you through the information. You have to understand that if we are unable to locate your wife…you may become…irrational."

No fucking way.

"Listen…My wife has been gone for seven fucking years. If you think for a goddamn second that I'm going to stand by and wait for you bastards to sit on your asses for another goddamn seven years, you've got a lot of fucking problems."

Seven years is long enough. Seven fucking years of Hell.

"Just stay put for now, sir. If we get anymore information I will contact you immediately. Otherwise I will update you in a few hours," the man said sympathetically. "My name is Agent Solomon. Ask for me if you contact the FBI in Boston. Goodbye now, Mr. Goode."

With that, he hung up.

I noticed MC tugging on Macey's skirt, asking if I could come and have her birthday cake. Her dirty blond hair was in a long braid, she wore a Jasmine costume and the necklace with the bunny charm that I got her when she was born.

My baby girl was seven now. Seven years without a mother. Have I failed her? What would Cammie say if she saw me now? Would she be happy with the choices I've made? Would she have wanted me to move on? Would she have disapproved of my constant hostility to everyone I interacted with? Would she have frowned at me for losing my job at the law firm I worked for when she was still here.

Where was she? Now that I know she's alive…has she been abused? Has she been…God, has she been violated?

Please tell me you're okay, Cookie. I need you to be okay.

Deep breaths.

Exhale.

Inhale.

"Zach?"

Exhale.

"No, Zach! Put me down!"

Inhale.

"No, I don't think I will. What are you going to do about it, Cookie?" I asked Cammie.

She laughs in my arms and her nose tickles my neck and her warm breath spreads goosebumps all over my skin as she says, "Think, this is our last Christmas before we move in together…well, officially," she places a kiss on my neck, over my pulse spot.

"Well, Angel, then I can't wait for this Christmas to be over," I say as snow drifts around us.

"And why's that?" she asks as my I pull her closer into my embrace, as I am holding her bridal style outside on the dock on the lake next to Mrs. Cope's house.

Her arms are securely wrapped around my neck, her fingers threading through my hair.

I ignore her question and place her down on the dock, glancing at the frozen lake before looking back at Cammie. Her pale skin made her cold, pink nose and ears stand out. Her lips warm and cherry red.

God, how I would love to ravish those lips.

"Do you remember our first kiss?" I whisper into her ear as her fingers thread back into my hair and I hold her securely around the waist, because knowing Cammie, she would slip on the frozen floor of the wooden deck.

"How could I forget? You saved my life and made me cookies," she whispers with gratified sigh.

"It was in the guest room of Mrs. Cope's house," I agreed softly.

"I can't believe she's still alive," Cammie joked as we both laughed silently, just enjoying our moment together. No school. No interrupting friends. No on looking parents who didn't exactly know that Cammie and I weren't exactly…pure. We knew that we were it for each other. I knew that there would be no one that I would love other than Cammie. I've been faithful to her for seven years of our strong relationship and I would continue to be for the rest of my life.

That's what I needed to talk to her about right now.

Well, ask her.

"That was when I realized I love you," I say, looking her in her beautiful emerald eyes.

Her fingers paused, tangled in my hair as her lips formed into a loving grin.

"I knew it before," I raised an eyebrow, "when that Jessica girl asked you out in sixth grade to the dance. God, I was so jealous," Cammie laughs into my chase, blushing furiously.

"I saw that smug look you got when I turned her down," I laughed, "I didn't know why at the time, but now it makes perfect sense."

We both laughed until it died away in to the soft breeze as it continued to snow around us. I couldn't remember a nicer Christmas Eve; there were usually storms.

"I love you, Cammie," I said resting my forehead against hers.

"I love you too," she said closing her eyes.

"I'll love you forever," I replied, "Forever used to seem impractical, but with you there…it seems complete."

I think she knew what was about to happen as she sounded nervous and…lustful when replied, "I'll love you no matter what happens."

"Then lets make this happen, Cammie," I say and her breathing hitches, "Marry me."

Her eyes snap open and her eyes start to water.

"You're my best friend, my lover, my life, Cameron Morgan. You're strong, incredibly beautiful, and incredibly smart. You've put up with me for this long and I want you by my side forever. I want to be able to tell people that I'm the lucky bastard that gets to call you his wife. You've helped me throughout bad times, especially when my father died. You understood how it felt. You're the only one that truly understands me. And I can't live without you. I don't want to lose you. So please…" I get on one knee and pull out the ring, "Be my wife?"

one moment she's standing there in her boots and scarf looking so beautiful, and in the next she's barreling on top of me, my back on the frozen dock.

"Yes…"kiss, "I will be your wife, Zachary Goode," kiss, "I will marry you," she says kissing my lips one last time before staring down at me with a wide smile.

I'm smiling like a doofus.

"Really?" I ask incredulously.

"Yes!" she has joyous tears in her eyes, "I love you."

"Forever?" I ask hesitantly while slipping the Tiffany's engagement ring-I've been saving for three months-on her ring finger.

"Forever." She says firmly.

My mind snaps out of the memory as a tear slips down my cheek, "What happened to forever, Angel?"

"Daddy, you want to know what I wished for when I blew out the candles?" MC asks as I tuck her into her bed. She reaches for her stuffed bunny that she got the day she was born to match the necklace. Yes, I spoil my daughter even though I work independently as a computer specialist. I don't earn as much of a salary as I did when I worked for the law firm, but it keeps a roof over our heads.

"What's that, munchkin?" I ask placing her socks on. It would be getting colder soon.

Right when she fell asleep I would call Agent Solomon on updates.

"I wished for a mommy for Daddy," she said smoothing out the blanket over her legs. "Because Daddy seems lonely without a mommy and I want a mommy, so's I wished for a mommy," she says smiling at me.

I'm crushed. We need you Cookie. Our MC doesn't remember you. I try. I've tried, Angel, but she doesn't know…she doesn't…notice your absence like I do.

Oh, God, it hurts, Cam.

Pain. Pain. Pain.

"You have a mommy, sweetie. Don't you remember?" I grab the picture of Cammie on her bedside table and hold it up for her to see.

"See right there? That's mommy. And she loves you and me, so much." I tell her. hopefully she will listen this time. She doesn't know, doesn't believe that Cammie loves us. It's always the same answer:

"But why would she leave us then, Daddy?" there are tears. So many tears that I can't tell if they're MC's or mine.

"She didn't want to leave, baby. I promise. But she's coming back. She'll be back so soon, baby," I say holding her little hand in mine.

"She's not my momma…she don't love me. So she's not my mommy," and I snap. It's the same thing over and over again. It's the doubt in everyone; it's me not being enough for our child.

"SHE IS YOUR MOM, MC! STOP THIS AT ONCE. YOUR MOTHER LOVES YOU. UNDERSTAND? IF I HEAR YOU SAY THAT AGAIN YOU'RE GROUNDED!" I yell and now I realize we're both crying.

"Y-yes, Daddy," she sobs. My expression softens, anger and frustration forgotten.

And now I feel like such a dick.

I'm not strong enough, Cookie.

"Oh…I'm so sorry MC…I didn't mean to yell," I reach out to hold her but she pulls the blanket over her head.

"G-Goodnight, Daddy," she sobs. She's obviously sad and angry but-like her mother-tries to not be rude.

I'm such a bad father, Cammie. Please…

"Goodnight, Angel…I love you," I say softly, kissing the top of her head that is exposed.

My response are sobs and I feel even worse as I walk back into my own room.

Sitting on my side of the bed, I rest my head in between my legs and breathe deeply-a technique I've learned calms me.

I reach for my phone in my pocket without looking up, and dial the number that I knew all too well.

"Agent Solomon," the voice says after a series of dial tones.

"Update, please."

"We were able to see you wife's captor, Mr. Goode. We were just about to inform you," he says and my heart leaps into my throat.

"W-Who is it?" I ask through gritted teeth, ready to kill the fucker.

"Luther Finnigan."

Oh, Hell, not him again.

A.N. Sorry for the long wait, but I got my laptop back so I'll be able to update! This story might turn into a rated M, depending if I want to add a scene that's a little graphic...not sure yet, tell me what you think! Plus! Cammie's POV next chapter, and tell me if you want her flashback next chapter to be that M rated scene...idk.

~Akira