Part IV

England looked almost the same as when I left. Given that it had only been eight years – subjectively to me it had been far less than that – I didn't expect there to be any massive changes.

I walked slowly towards the place where Nick and I lived; hoping that he still lived there. I wasn't sure what I would say once I got there. I didn't think: Sorry, but I accidentally ended up in the Permian era would go down too well.

When I got to the house, I walked up to a window and peered in. It looked like the same furniture we had. The lamp in the corner had been changed but that was to be expected. It had been eight years. I saw Nick walk into the living room and felt my heart skip a beat. He still looked as handsome as the day I married him. Eight years had given him slight lines around his eyes, but somehow that added to his charm. He seemed to be talking to somebody.

As I watched, I saw Stephen walk into the room. I drew in a quick breath. Eight years might not have changed Nick much, but made Stephen so much more gorgeous. He looked positively edible.

I saw Nick say something to Stephen whose lips curled into that familiar charming grin I remembered all too well.

Then, to my surprise, I saw Stephen lean over and kiss my husband on the lips. It wasn't a deep kiss. I might have been happier if it had been the stolen furtive kiss of secret lovers. Instead it was a familiar kiss. Much like the ones I used to give Nick whenever I got home.

I watched for a while longer, but couldn't see anything else terribly out of the ordinary. Stephen got up and when he came back, he had a cup of tea for Nick. My heart twisted as I remembered how he used to do the same for me. I imagined I could still smell the tea. Earl Grey with lemon. Nick would have no other.

I suddenly heard footsteps come up behind me.

"What are you doing?" a sharp voice asked me.

I turned around and saw a policeman. "I… I," I trailed off. I wasn't sure how to explain myself.

The policeman sighed and fished around in his pocket. He produced what seemed like a small black square. He held it out to me.

I stared at it blankly.

"Idiot," he muttered and rolled his eyes. He grabbed my right hand and pressed my index finger onto it. The machine beeped once, flashed green, and announced: "Helen Cutter."

At once, his attitude changed. "Apologies, Ms Cutter," he said almost subserviently.

I was incredibly puzzled but decided to play along. "No problems," I said, lifting my head slightly to look down my nose at him. I wondered if he thought I was a criminal or something. I was surprised that anybody had my fingerprints on file. And if they did, surely I would have been declared dead by now. I debated whether to explain my earlier silence to him, but decided not to. Fewer words were always better. I nodded briskly to him and walked past him.

"Would you like a ride to your residence, Ms Cutter?" the policeman asked me.

I stopped and turned around. My residence? I was puzzled. Maybe this was a case of mistaken identity. Or… My heart plummeted. I couldn't believe I hadn't thought of this earlier. Time travel. How could I be so stupid! This was obviously some sort of alternate universe. That explained Nick and Stephen. That explained everything.

The policeman was still waiting for my answer.

"Certainly," I managed to get out. Perhaps I could ask my other self for help.

-*

I was dropped outside of a set of luxury apartments. I got out and watched as the policeman drove away. I then turned around and stared at the entrance. It seemed very securely locked. I was wondering how to get in when I looked to my left and saw a series of labelled buttons.

Scanning down the list, I saw one labelled Helen Cutter. I pressed it, hoping that there was somebody home. I wasn't sure how I would explain this to my alternate self, but I was sure I'd think of something. I briefly wondered why I chose to use Nick's name instead of my own maiden name. Perhaps we were only separated in this reality.

It couldn't have been a few seconds when a male voice answered.

"Ms Cutter's residence. James speaking."

I blinked. I didn't know anybody called James. "This is Helen," I began.

"Ms Cutter!" the person – James – exclaimed. "Have you forgotten your keys? I will buzz you in immediately!"

I heard a buzzing sound and the door in front of me clicked. I hesitated briefly before putting my hand on the door handle. I had handled the future and the Permian era. Surely I could handle an alternate 21st century.

-*

It had taken me a while, but I finally managed to find 'my' apartment. A man was standing outside the door, holding it open for me. I raised an eyebrow but decided not to say anything. I presumed it was James. "Thank you," I said politely.

I thought I saw a flicker of surprise in his eyes. Perhaps social niceties were not followed in this reality. Or perhaps, I thought grimly. Perhaps I just wasn't a kind person. It was readily apparent that James was some sort of servant of mine.

"Ms Cutter, would you like a cup of tea?"

I shook my head. I was not fond of tea.

"How about a cup of Italian hot chocolate?"

An involuntary growl escaped my stomach. I had fallen in love with Italian hot chocolate over the past few years. Nick had always teased me about my addiction to it. "It's like syrup," he told me more than once. I had always just hit him playfully. I felt a painful twist to my heart. I missed Nick. My Nick. And my Stephen. Who most emphatically never kissed and never brought each other cups of tea. I snapped out of my reverie and looked at James. "Yes," I said sharply.

"As you wish," he said, with a neat bow and left the room.

I looked around the living room of my apartment. It was quite tastefully furnished with Victorian era furniture. I sat down on a leather couch while I waited for my hot chocolate. I still wasn't sure what I was going to say to James. What was he to me anyway? A servant? My partner? I didn't think it was the latter. He was a bit too subservient.

I heard a slight cough and noticed James standing there with a little pot of hot chocolate. I accepted it from him and sipped the sweet brew. "Sit," I ordered when I noticed that he was about to leave the room.

He sat down looking doubtful.

I hesitated. I was unsure how to begin. "Have you heard any news on Nick and Stephen lately?"

"I have heard that they are very happy," James said.

I frowned. It sounded rehearsed. I wracked my brains trying to think of another question to ask when suddenly the door to the apartment opened. Oh fuck, I thought as I saw another Helen Cutter walk into the room. This one, unlike me, was impeccably dressed in a tailored suit.

James jumped up. "Ms Cutter!" he said.

She looked icily at me. "Who might you be?" she said.

James looked at both of us. "You're identical!" he exclaimed.

I glared at him. Obviously he was a bit dim-witted. It was blatantly obvious that we were one and the same person.

The other Helen sniffed. "Just look at how she's dressed!"

I stared down at my jeans and a t-shirt with my jacket tied around my waist. Yes there was a bit of grime on there from the Permian era, but nothing terribly unusual. "My attire is fine," I exclaimed.

"You still haven't answered my question," she snapped. "Who are you?"

Standing up, I held out my hand. "My name is Helen Cutter. I'm from…" I hesitated slightly. "An alternate dimension."

She stared at my hand as if it was something dirty. Come to think of it, I did have quite a bit of dirt on my hand. I rubbed it hastily on my t-shirt. "I apologise, but I did have a sojourn in the Permian era."

Ah, finally, I saw a resemblance. A spark appeared in my double's eyes. "The Permian era?" she asked. "How?"

I gestured at the couch. "We had better sit down. It's a long story."

-*

A few hours later, I had managed to get quite acquainted with my double and her world. I was finding it exceedingly bizarre. Apparently James was something like her slave. But no, she had said that slave was an inappropriate term. He was more like her student except she has a sexual relationship with him. I barely managed to suppress a hysterical laugh. It was something like what I had with Stephen, except perfectly forthright and legal.

"It is something like the Ancient Greek system," she explained. "I impart my knowledge to James, and in turn he… services me in other ways. I pay everything for him for these years and in return I get extra legal privileges. It's all perfectly legal and ethical!" Obviously I had a look of shock on my face.

I wondered if that explained the policeman who had scanned me. I also asked her about Stephen and Nick and she laughed.

We're still married," she explained. "We find that this arrangement works. I was quite surprised when Nick chose Stephen. To be honest I was expecting him to choose the redheaded archeology student, but apparently they work together quite well."

I just shook my head. It was too strange for me. Especially when I was watching my alternate self lean over and make out with James. It wasn't as though James wasn't attractive. But I didn't really have any voyeuristic fantasies.

With effort I stopped myself from pondering this reality. I really shouldn't be judgmental. After all, I was nowhere near perfect.

-*

"I would be interested in studying that device of yours more," my alternative self told me.

I shook my head. "I'm sorry, but I really need to get myself home." I wasn't sure how I'd ended up in this alternate universe. I didn't think I'd done anything in the Permian era to cause this, but obviously I had. Perhaps going into the past would fix it, to a point before the Permian era. Conversely, going to the future to see that woman again might do it.

"Are you sure you wouldn't like to stay?" she asked.

With a slight tinge of regret, I shook my head. My double had given me a couple of history books of this world and I had discovered that I quite liked it. Obviously gay rights were a non-issue here. They had a few less civil liberties but generally, their world seemed a bit more secure. I was sure that there were a lot of issues that this world had, but it seemed pretty good on the surface.

I had examined the anomaly device a few times over the past few days and none seemed useful. I was eager to leave quickly. I spotted one anomaly that was supposed to go to Germany in the 1940s. I had always been interested in that era so I decided to take the shot and go through. Besides, I had always promised myself to go travelling at some point. What better way to travel than through these anomalies?

I promised myself I would try to get back home sometime. Once I figured out a way how to.

I walked towards the anomaly. Turning around, I waved to my double and James. I then walked through.