It's hard for me to recall what actually happened that day. I was a little filly, scared and hurt. Some of the things I do remember were undeniably true. I did get lost in that castle. I did see ponies die. However, the details of the past seem to get lost within the guilt in my heart. I don't know how long I was in that pit for, a couple hours, a day, or possibly even several days. But one of the things I'm certain of was what happened once I got out.

Creak

I looked up to the door which was slowly opening. The Doctor stood in the doorway, with the light behind him casting a giant shadow over us. He slowly hovered down and all the ponies surrounding me galloped away, frightened by his presence. I saw him coming closer, but I couldn't move; my body was exhausted and my mind wished to die. A green glow wrapped itself around me, and lifted me towards the exit.

I never thought that it would be over. Would the nightmare finally end?

As I passed through the doorway the light blinded me, and all I could see was white.

Crack

I heard something break as I was tossed onto the floor violently.

Then, I felt something lift me up and push me against the wall. "So, now what do you think of your Other 'friends'?"

I was still blinded by the light, but my eyes eventually adjusted to the brightness. In front of me were the mad eyes of the Doctor, which somehow seemed even wilder than before. His hooves pinned me to the wall by my shoulders. That's when I noticed what had happened to my body. I was cut, scraped, bruised, and bleeding everywhere. I looked down and saw in horror at what used to be my purity. I looked away immediately; I couldn't bear to see what they did to me. I started crying profusely. "Why did this happen to me. Why?" I begged and pleaded to those ponies, but they continued to defile my body like it was trash. I was powerless.

"Shh, shh," the Doctor whispered, "It's alright. We all have to learn, whether it's the easy or hard way."
He cradled me in his arms, as if I was a foal.

"But now, you can get revenge."

The Doctor turned my head to a crudely fashioned surgical table centered in the wide room. A stallion struggled as his was chained onto it by his hooves.

"Do you remember him? He was the first one."

I remembered him. He was the first stallion to take advantage of me in that pit.

"How does it make you feel? Mad? Angry? A little bit murderous?"

Something deep and powerful inside me wanted to rip him to pieces. Not simply to kill him, but make him suffer. I wanted to hear his screams and make him drink his own blood until he choked to death on it.

"Go on now, nopony's stopping you. Have fun."

I was blinded by rage. I forgot that he was a pony like me. I just wanted for him to pay for what he had done. I walked up to the pony and glared at him. I began to laugh and cry at the same time when I saw the fear in the stallion's eyes. I couldn't help it - this feeling of having power over another pony's life, being the controller of their fate, made me feel wonderful.

"Dear, you can't have fun without your toys."
The Doctor stood beside me with a tray of unorthodox surgical tools.

I picked up a cheese grater, and the Doctor squealed in delight. I took the grater and placed it on the stallion's stomach. There was very little resistance when I placed it down; I felt his rapid breaths as the tool bobbed up and down with the skin of his belly. The stallion looked in horror and pleaded for mercy. Mercy? Mercy? I jerked it downwards as I pressed down on it. How's that for mercy? Any hope that I, a little filly, wouldn't go through with this died in the stallion's eyes. His screams echoed throughout the room as his shredded flesh began to pile over the floor. I made deep scars run across his stomach and chest, bleeding wildly. I felt and heard every stroke rip his flesh. After cutting through the layers of skin, I saw the white fat which I grated and grated, cutting through it like warm butter. I wouldn't stop there, no, not after I've started.

I threw the grater down and picked something else up. This time, it was two nails, both eight inches in length and rusted black. I stabbed one of the nails into his left hindleg causing his tendon to snap immediately. His leg twitched once and went limp. How's it like being penetrated? I grabbed a small hammer from the tray and pounded the nail deeper in, inch by inch. The vibrations from each successive hit shot up every one of his nerves and made the stallion cry out: "Kill me! Please, kill me!"

"Kill you?" I said, looking into his eyes, "no, I won't kill you. I'll make you pay. I'll make you suffer." I smelled blood. But, it was strange, it smelled sweet. I wanted more blood. I wanted to bathe in a puddle of his fresh blood.

I took the other nail and hammered it into his ribcage, making sure to stay clear of any vital organs. The nail ripped right through him, cutting a hole through his back. Are you scared? Can you feel the pain?

I released the straps holding him by the hooves, forcing his whole body weight to be supported by the two nails. He screamed as his body slid down the sharp edges of the nails while it cut through his body. His screaming increased twofold once a nail came in contact with his spine. The pain must have been unbearable. Good. I twisted and turned the nail, making sure that his body didn't stop sliding against it. Blood poured down from every hole in his body and covered me from head to toe.

I wanted to remember him for what he did to me. I leaned down to his flank and saw his cutie mark. Two white doves etched his side, but they were covered in a layer of blood. I didn't want to use any tools for this. I pinched one edge of his skin and pulled hard. The flesh began to tear away slowly at first, but skin soon fell away from his body like shredded paper. I held up his severed cutie mark and marveled at it under the surgical lights. The stallion's left side had been ripped away and his organs wouldn't have been able to stay inside the body, if it weren't for a layer of muscles.

I wanted him to remember what he did to me, even in the afterlife. I kneeled down and stroked his stallionhood. I heard his breaths becoming harder and saw his heart pumping blood faster. It didn't take a long time until he was completely erect. It was sick. This was what defiled me. This disgusting snake needed to suffer for it.

"I want you to remember… I want you to remember what you took away from me." The stallion knew what I would do. "Now I'll take away something from you."

He pleaded for me to stop. I laughed and laughed. He was pathetic.

I leaned closer to his ear. "The nightmare's almost over."

I took a pair of weighted scissors into my hooves, industrial ones which could cut through rope in a single slice. I made him watch as I slowly brought the blades closer to his member. I placed it between the two blades and then stalled. I looked up to him once more and grinned.
"Tell me one reason why I shouldn't do this."

The stallion, between sobs, managed to say something, "I'm sorry. Please, I don't want to die like this."

"Don't we all?"

Slice

He whinnied in madness as the dismembered organ fell to the floor with a plop. Blood squirted out in strings as his heart continued to pump blood out of the severed organ. His eyes turned white in pain and he lost control of his mind. This didn't satisfy me enough. No. He had to suffer more. I took the last item from the tray, a bottle of pure alcohol. This should do it. I unscrewed the cap from the brown bottle and the smell of alcohol drifted to the stallion. Before he could plead, I emptied the content of the bottle all over the stallion's lower half. The effects surpassed my expectations and even surprised the Doctor. His flesh sizzled as the open wounds burned away, causing the skin to form a brown crust in seconds. The liquid also traveled into the open wounds and streamed through his system. With one more scream his head fell back with his mouth foaming.

I stepped back and smiled at my work. I thought that I would be happy after this, but for some reason I wasn't. I still felt empty inside, the same as that scared filly in the pit.

The reality of what I had done caught up with me. It struck me with the force of a million tons. I killed a helpless pony. I fell down on the floor, crying. I'm a terrible pony. I killed somepony. No. He deserved it! No matter how hard I tried to convince myself that what I did was justified, I couldn't make myself believe in that lie. It was wrong. All of this was wrong.

"You must feel a whole lot better." The Doctor said, trying to pick me up from the floor. "I remember I did when I had fun with my first pony."

He was insane. How could he enjoy what I did? How could anypony enjoy killing? I heard the screams and pleading of the stallion in my head, and I heard the words I said as I tortured him. I couldn't believe that I had done those things, those barbaric and disgusting things.

"No. It doesn't' make me feel better at all."

The Doctor looked at me, as if I was insane, "But don't the screams just make you smile on the inside?"

"No! Make the screams stop!"

The Doctor picked me up with his magic and sighed, "I guess, you didn't learn your lesson."

I was shot in the face with a bolt of green magic, and I instantly fell unconscious.