Title: Cooking
Disclaimer: These don't belong to me, just borrowing them
Pairing: Benson/Cabot (though if you're reading this and still haven't figured it out…come on)
A/N: Part Four (wow) of my "Actions" series. First is "Running", Second is "Dancing" and third is "Inviting". This is un-beat'd so any mistakes are my own.
A/N2: I apologize for taking so long. RL and Writer's Block were keeping me from even being near the computer for long periods of time. Thanks to everyone that read and commented. You've made this little Smurph so happy ^.^
-=-
"I'll get it!"
Despite her nerves Olivia couldn't help but smile at the obvious enthusiasm in the young voice. The door opened to show a brightly smiling Danielle.
"Olivia!" She squealed, wrapping the smirking detective in a hug.
"Hey, kiddo," Olivia chuckled stepping inside and closing the door behind her. After shucking her jacket the two walked into the living room, Olivia smiling down softly at the young blonde still attached to her hip. The delicious smell of pasta sauce and spaghetti hit her nose and her mouth started to water. Brown eyes turned towards the source of the smell and her mouth began to water for a different type of reason. Alex was moving about the kitchen, dressed in black slacks and a sapphire shirt that hugged her curves and breasts softly. Olivia followed the v-neck down and immediately turned away.
"Are you okay, Liv? Your face is really red," Danny replied, staring worriedly up at her taller friend.
Olivia fought down the extra wave of embarrassment when Alex turned to look at them, her own blue eyes flashing with worry. "Yeah, it was just real cold outside, kiddo."
"Well come on," Danny tugged her over to the couch and sat her down. A fire was crackling in the small fireplace, giving off a warmth that was pleasant and quickly chasing any lingering chill out of her body. "Would you like anything to drink? Dinner should be ready soon."
Olivia was half tempted to ask for a stiff drink, but kept herself in check. "What do you have?"
Danny rattled off a list quickly, but Olivia picked out 'juice' and went with that. As the young girl went to go get the glass Olivia settled back she pinched the bridge of her nose, wondering again if this was going to be a good idea. The warmth in her lower regions was screaming a loud 'NO!' to that question.
"Here ya go," Danny smiled, holding out the glass before settling next to the Detective. Olivia listened quietly as Danny began a very animated, one sided discussion on her school and friends.
"So Miles Porter was being all mean and stuff to Jill Daniel and Melanie Sanders and our teacher Ms. Waters told him to stop, but Miles didn't stop…"
Olivia couldn't keep the smile from her lips as she tried very hard to keep all the names straight. Even with all her experience on the force she was having trouble.
"Danny! Come help me in the kitchen." Alex called out. Danny was up like a shot and disappeared into the other room. Olivia sat uncomfortably for a few moments before getting up and following. She was feeling antsy and sitting around doing nothing was not an option.
"Oh, hey Olivia. You can go ahead and sit down. I'm just draining the pasta now," Alex said as she moved a large pot over to the sink and poured the contents into a large colander. Her head moved back slightly to keep from getting a face full of steam.
"Is there anything I can do to help?" Olivia asked, trying not to fidget.
"You can help me," Danny said, holding out a small stack of plates. Olivia took them and followed her over to the table where they set four places. A dark eyebrow rising on her forehead Olivia turned to Danny. "Who's the fourth place for?"
She watched a blush stain the young girl's face, though there was a bright smile to accompany it as well. "Umm, just a friend," She mumbled, digging her toe into the carpet.
"His name is Jason Billings. He lives two floors up and goes to Danny's school. I invited him over for dinner since it seems these two have a project due together," Alex said, smiling softly at her niece as she brought the food into set in the middle of the table just as the doorbell rang. Olivia bit the inside of her cheek when she saw red flush hot over Danny's cheeks before she made her way over to the door and opened it. On the other side was a brown haired boy with gangly limbs and a dimpled smile.
"Hey Danny. Am I late?"
"No, umm come on in." Olivia and Alex shared a smile at the nervousness in Danny's voice.
'Oh to be that young and innocent again. Seems like it's been forever since I was like that…or was I ever like that?' Knowing if she didn't stop now her thoughts would turn dark Olivia turned to the table, noting the others sitting down. She took the last available seat, between Danny and Alex and across from Jason. The meal was simple, spaghetti with sauce and garlic bread, but for Olivia, whose diet for the last few days had consisted of take out, doughnuts and coffee it was exquisite and she had to keep herself from scarfing everything down.
Conversation was light, consisted mainly of Jason and Danny talking, both to one another and asking Alex and Olivia questions. The detective found herself relaxing, finding herself comforted by the good food, warm atmosphere and even warmer company. It also did her weary soul good to see children smiling and talking on as if there wasn't a care in the world. It was a more then welcome respite to the usual dredge and horror she saw.
After dinner Jason and Danny cleaned off their plates, put them in the dishwasher and scurried off to work on their project, leaving Olivia and Alex alone. Quietly they put away their own dishes, Olivia insisting on helping to clean up. The awkwardness was returning and Olivia said the first thing that popped into her mind. "That was really good. You don't strike me as a chef, Councilor." She didn't receive an answer and turned to the blonde. Blue eyes were concentrated intently on the plate in her hands, even though she had stopped scrubbing at it. "Alex? You okay?"
"I was going to ask you the same thing."
Olivia's head shot back slightly in surprise. "What do you…I'm fine."
"Really? Is that why you've been avoiding me like the plague since last weekend?" Alex snapped. Olivia closed her eyes and let out a breath. She knew that this was going to happen. "Only talking with me when it came to cases, barely making eye contact with me? I was surprised you even came tonight." The blonde's tone had become increasingly sharper, until the last sentence which cut through Olivia and had guilt bubbling up.
Staring down at her hands Olivia was shocked at the hurt she heard behind the venom as well. She had thought she'd been doing the right thing, but now with the guilt gnawing at her she wasn't sure. But it was better for the both of them that Olivia get herself under control so she wouldn't do something stupid. Wasn't it?
"I'm sorry I just…" Just what, Olivia? 'Just wanted to keep away from you so I wouldn't push you up against a wall and kiss you senseless.'
"You're sorry? Right now I feel like I should be saying that and I'm not even sure what I did."
"No you didn't do anything," Olivia quickly said. "We just both got a little to tipsy and…" She trailed off, unsure what to say or do. What could she really say or do at the moment?
"Tipsy huh…you don't just avoid someone because they got too tipsy. What is it that I did that made you so uncomfortable?" Alex turned to stare at her, blue eyes drilling into the side of the Detective's face.
'I knew I shouldn't have come over.' "It's…Alex please just let it go." She had been reduced to begging, and hated it. Hated this entire situation. Why couldn't they just go back to how they were? She turned and started to walk towards the fridge for something stronger to drink but stopped herself, instead veering off to the window. She needed distance, needed to put space between herself and Alex. Yet she couldn't bring herself to leave. More laughter drifted to the quiet of the living room from the back bedroom and Olivia rubbed at the tense muscles on the back of her neck. 'I shouldn't have come,' She thought sadly, unaware she had even said the words until she heard a soft, hurt voice say behind her, "Then maybe you should just go."
Olivia turned, dark eyes taking in the blonde leaning in the archway of the kitchen. For all the world to see she looked stone faced and resilient, but for Olivia, who made a living seeing behind people's masks, she could see the hurt in blue eyes and the slight slump to thin looking shoulders.
Her heart broke and she turned away, unsure what to do. 'You wanted distance, Benson…here you have it. As much distance as the fucking Grand Canyon.' Right now she knew she had to turn around there was no question about that. But it was the choice after that would mean everything. Would she turn around and leave, putting them back at the distance that would keep Olivia's feelings secret and things more simple, if strained, between them. Or would she turn around and sit next to Alex, explain why she did what she did…
'Tick tock, Detective. Make a choice.'