Chapter 16

I thought about my life, about Alex leaving, seeing my mother's murder, and how much emotion I had been bottling up for years. It was so hard to keep that contained all the time. So when I thought about it, falling didn't seem so bad. Just when I had accepted falling to my death, two giant Andean Condors came swooping in, catching me by their talons. These birds had just saved my life. Why would they do that to me? Really I had just accepted dying, and then these birds come and ruin everything. And for what? So that I could continue to go about killing things. Granted Dami were considered monsters, but they had once been respectable people. It was still taking a life, no matter how justified it was.

These thoughts went through my mind, and I started struggling. "Let me fall you stupid birds!" Then the lead one looked down at me, and I saw intelligent, deep brown eyes. These were not birds. These were Dami. And that particular bird was Alex. "LET ME GO! HELP! SOMEONE HELP ME!" I screamed, my voice going hoarse. These birds were strong, but my weight was making them fly lower. We were close enough to the ground that a fall wouldn't kill me, and someone might hear me. But no one was outside.

They were holding me by my arms, just above the elbow. I had an idea. It would be painful, and probably destroy my favorite jacket, but it was necessary. I started throwing my feet in front of and behind me, swinging my body wait so as to rock myself back and forth. When I had gotten as high as I could without alerting them as to what I was doing, I through all of my wait upward with my legs, while throwing my legs behind me . I flipped in mid air, tearing the sleeves of my best jacket and shredding my skin where they had been holding me. It hurt. A lot. But it worked. I was free falling again, but this time only 20 feet or so. About a two story building.

I rolled as I landed, in an effort to absorb some of the shock. It still hurt like hell, but I didn't shatter any bones. I got up as quickly as I could, sprinting towards the dorms. The birds were following me, and quickly gaining. I ignored the pain in my legs and shoulders, and ignored the wet, warm life seeping out of my arms. I focused only on running. 10 steps from the dorms, they started clawing at my back, trying to gain purchase. 5, they had me, but couldn't lift me. 3, I was starting up the stairs, which was giving them upwards momentum. 2, my feet had left the ground, but I was still moving towards the door. 1, they let go of me, and I flew inside of the dorms.

I turned back, searching the air for them. They were there, circling the campus twice before heading southeast. Safe from danger, I looked at my arms. My jacket was soaked, and the black fabric was completely ruined. Moving my arms created an excruciating pain. But I suffered through it, taking off the jacket and preparing my self for the sight. It was gruesome. The flesh was torn, dangling from my arm. Taking a deeper look, I could see just a little bit of bone peeking out through the blood. I had to find a healer, fast.

Stumbling, I arrived at our dorm room. Everyone should be in there. But my vision was fading fast. I had to let them know I was there before I blacked out for lack of blood. I crashed into the door, and then fell into the wall behind me. The door opened, and Lissa was there. She saw my arms, and screamed. Then everything went dark.

I woke up in the hospital. Again. It wasn't even second quarter yet. Sigh. My arms were almost completely healed (thanks to the fact that we have healers) and I got dressed. It was seven. I had to get to my Pack and get to the Arena. I went to the front desk, filled out the proper forms, and then left. Alex had horrible timing.

I found Dimitri waiting for me, outside of the dorms. "Everyone already went to the Arena. Let's go." When we got to the stadium, there was only 10 minutes before the Battle stared. I found our assignment, and grabbed two short swords (I had recently been practicing duel wielding weapons) from the rack. We were to capture their Alpha, while making sure to neutralize the Genezers. They had the same goal. My mind was slower than usual, but I was able to draw up a plan before the whistle. "Alright. Remember the first Battle we had? Were going to use that outline, but with a twist. Same pairs, but this time, I'm not risking getting captured. So we still meet, at the front, but this time their Guardian is out of the picture. Then it should just be clean up." They nodded, and I sent them to their positions. This strategy would only work if they either didn't know it, or didn't think we'd be stupid enough to use the same plan twice.

That fight was close. At the end, it was just me and Dimitri against a Jaeger, a Dief, and their final Genezer. We blocked and jumped, swiped and stabbed. The Dief was taken out by Dimitri, who was then taken out by the Jaeger. And then there were three. I was facing the Genezer, about to go for the kill when I heard the arrow. It was coming from behind me. I ducked just in time, and it flew into the Genezer. Then I turned and proceeded to take out the Jaeger. That being finished, I went and made the motion of killing the Genezer. We had won, barely. I would have died had I ducked a millisecond later.

But we won, and just like after our first Battle, we went home and partied. This time however, I made sure not to go out onto the balcony. That had been a mistake, I kept telling myself. Eventually, as the party started to simmer down, I noticed that Abby wasn't there. Telling the others that I was going for more food, I left. Halfway down the stairs, I found her, curled up in a ball. She was crying, which I hate dealing with. But I was the Alpha, so I felt it was my responsibility to comfort her.

I sat down next to her, and tried to think of what to say. Finally, I asked the only question I could think of. "What's wrong? Did something happen?" I used my most ginger tone, trying to calm her down.

"What's it like, knowing that you won't ever get to be with Dimitri? Knowing that Kylie, or Jean, or Lissa will get him?" I was taken aback, and started stuttering, "Wh-what do you mean?"

"Don't play dumb. The whole Pack can see that you're in love with him. And it doesn't matter that he might return the feeling, because it's against the rules." In love with him? Where had she gotten that? Seeing my shock, she added, "You're always looking at him, asking him what he thinks; you straighten up when you see him, try to act more, I don't know, important around him." I bit my lip, and knew that she was right. I did act that way. But that didn't mean that I loved him. Because I couldn't love him. She and I both knew that you couldn't love the member of the Pack in the same Klasse as you.

"It feels terrible." I finally said. "Terrible that I can't be with him as more than a friend. Is- are- do you feel that way for Matt?" She nodded, and I let her lean her head on my shoulder. We sat like that in silence for a while, bonding over our love for someone we couldn't have. Although I still wasn't sure that I was in love with Dimitri. After a while, we went back to the Dorms. Everyone else was already asleep, so we went to bed.

The next morning, I caught Abby looking at Matt with a longing expression. She looked at me then, and I gave her a small, comforting smile. She blushed, and then smiled back. Then I looked at Matt. And to my surprise (and Abby's anguish), Matt was checking out Kylie. I walked past him, whispering, "She's way out of your league." He looked at me, surprised and annoyed. Oh what a twisted Pack we were. Everyone wanted someone they couldn't have. Kylie had told me the other day that she thought Sam had a mysterious, dark look that she thought was hot. Everyone else thought she was crazy, but she merely said, "The heart wants what the heart wants."

I noticed different people looking at each other, and finally had the Pack mapped out (romantically anyways). I liked Dimitri, who (I hoped) liked me back. Abby liked Matt, who liked Kylie. Kylie liked Sam, who liked Lissa. But Lissa liked Paul. Paul liked Abby. Jean liked Nick. And Nick liked me. Basically, my Pack was doomed romantically. But oh well. The heart wants what the heart wants.

There were times when I contemplated breaking the rules, asking Dimitri out. But then I would be no better than Alex, breaking rules that were there for a reason. So I didn't act on the crush that I knew was blooming into something more. He was just so intense about everything he did. And he loved life. One time, when I was hiking up to my cliff again (this time I wasn't going to it so close to the edge), I heard someone singing.

"Heaven can wait up high in the sky. It's you and I. Heaven can wait deep down in your eyes. I'm yours tonight. Lay your heart next to mine. I feel so alive. Tell me you want me to wait, forever 'cus heaven can wait." It was Dimitri, drawing a tree he had found in the forest. Then I realized that it was the tree that I was hiding behind. I ducked away, but not before Dimitri saw me. He took off one of his headphones, saying,

"No wait. Go back the way you were." I peeked out again, and he started drawing. After he was done, he showed me the sketch. It was amazing, a flawless picture of myself. When I told him so, he laughed, and gave it to me. It was now hanging on my mirror, along with the note. The other girls asked me about it, but I just shrugged, saying that I had found it there. If they realized that I was lying, they didn't say anything.

The next week, I nearly got suspended. It had to do with a fight that I got into, though I still maintain that I fought out of self defense. I had been walking around the halls, reviewing for the third time that hour the list of reasons that I couldn't be with Dimitri. Then Mia (of course all of my fights just had to do with Mia) tripped me in the halls. I brought her down with me as a fell, and we ended up in a tangled heap, which quickly turned into a wrestle that I won.

We were both sent to Harks' office by a teacher that broke up the crowd around us, and we each got our own private lectures. From what I could hear of hers, she had Judge Harks wrapped around her finger. She whined a bit, sucked up, and basically schmoozed him into giving me a suspension that I had to debate my way out of for at least and hour. I ended up with a severe reprimand and a severe punishment: My Pack couldn't practice that week. That was bad, because the monthly tournament was coming up, and we were expected to have some tough competition.

I took what I got though, and went back to my Pack with the news. They were angry at first, but with the help of Dimitri, I got them calmed down. I apologized and then told them that while we couldn't practice as a Pack, we could still practice on our own, and I expected them to do that at least twice that week. They sulked a little, and then Abby changed the subject. I nodded gratefully to her, and she smiled.

Through some miracle, we won, and I almost laughed when I saw Judge Harks' pouting face at the banquet. It was clear that he didn't like me. That was okay, because the feeling was completely mutual. I smiled my way through the dinner, and celebrated with my Pack afterwards. They now completely trusted my judgment and leadership, for which I was glad. We were finally becoming a Pack.