Diary of the Cutter.
Chapter 2
Thanks everyone for reading! It means a lot! :) R&R!
Sonny's POV
I felt worthless.
Horrible. It was something I have never felt before. My best friend betrayed me. How did she even find out? And why did she do this?
But as the report went on, it got worse.
"Sonny lied to her friends and her family. Now she has no one Should you let this girl get away with back stabbing and lying to everyone? No, you shouldn't. I protest that ever single one of us protest against her. Take her down. This girl is a backstabbing liar and is a horrible friend." The screen turned off. Chad stood there with the remote in his hand. He crabbed my hand and pulled me out of the cafè. He pulled me all the way into his dressing room.
"Sonny. Don't let that get to you. No one will see it. It will blow over, I doubt that anyone even paid attention to the report." I didn't respond. My heart was out of place. It was broken, even with Chad.
"I think I need to go home." He nodded his head unsure.
"I'll drive you."
"You will be late for your show though." He chuckled.
"I am the star of the show. They won't film without me. And they can wait. I am with my girl." He smiled at me and put his hands on my hips. I faked one and put my arms around his neck, pulling him into a kiss.
••••••••••••
I sat in my dark room. The sun was blocked out from shedding my room by a thin piece of cloth thrown over my window. I was alone. Like always. I wish that Chad was here to make me feel better, I wish everything was all better.
But its not.
I opened my laptop. 400 emails, from fans.
Sonny! How could you be so rude to your fans! Lie to them about being an alcoholic? Seriously! Its a teen show, you shouldn't be drinking! You fucking idiot! You lost me as a fan, and many others. Why don't you fix your damn life and get over yourself instead of making everyone feel bad, like poor Tawni. You know that she loved you! But you betray her like the stupid, selfish, bitch that you are.
–
Alcoholic? I am not. Where are they hearing this from? Tawni? Is she doing this to me... again? Is she really making up lies so even more people will turn against me. I care about my fans, but even more I care about my health. I wouldn't do that. I don't understand, don't they know me. Don't they know I wouldn't do this?
–
Sonny! Do you know how many people you hurt? You WERE my roll model! You used to be my favorite famous person EVER! But now you are a bitch. I hope that you die you stupid bitch. No one loves you. I bet even Chad is cheating on you, if he isn't he wish that you would just die so that he didn't have to deal with you.
–
Chad does love me... doesn't he? Why are these people being so mean? I haven't done anything but date some guy, sure that guy is Chad, but shouldn't my fans be happy for me? There has to be something more to this story that I don't even know about.
How could everyone be so mean.
How could everyone hurt me so much.
–
Sonny,
Why don't you just end your life? Wouldn't that be easier then waiting around for something good to happen. You are ugly and stupid. I hope that you fucking kill yourself you stupid bitch. I hope that nothing ever happens for you, that is even remotely good. I hope that your career throws you in the trash. They shouldn't have even brought you, they only let pretty people on TV. So obviously I don't know why you are on there.
–
Fuck you Sonny.
–
Die bitch.
–
Why did you hurt all your fans.
–
WE ALL HATE YOU!
–
I stopped reading the emails and slammed my laptop closed. I pulled my knees up to my chest, keeping my tears in until my eyes were buried into my knees. While I cried, and my jeans soaked up all the tears, I had an idea.
I can take this pain out. I can let this out. But not on others. On myself. I quickly got up from my bed and ran to the bathroom. I don't have anything to cut with, other then my razor. I pushed it down on to my wrist.
I wonder if this is going to hurt...
wait... I don't care... I hope this hurts..
I wonder how much its going to bleed.
I wonder if this will be enough...
All of these thoughts were running through my head while I pressed the razor onto my wrist and quickly jerked it to the other side of my wrist. I held my breath and bit my lip.
Pain... not enough pain.
I was shocked with how much this didn't hurt. How much the pain... was so good. I was afraid to look down though. The blood. I knew it was bleeding, I could feel the blood flood my hand. I slowly turned my head down. Blood covered my hand and arm. Blood got on my shirt, on the floor. So much blood. I put my hand into the sink and ran it over my arm. Quickly taking off my shirt, I wrapped it around my cut and went to my room in my bra. My mom wasn't home so I have time to clean up. I took my bandages out of the drawer in the kitchen and wrapped my cut.
Hope you guys like this chapter. More to come soon! I promise. I am again sorry this took so long. And I am sorry if this chapter isn't very good, I am going to try really hard to get back to my normal self so I can start writing okay again for all of my fans.
Thank you guys so much. I have been getting a lot of messages lately to make sure that I am okay, and that everything is going alright. Thank you guys for all the support. I am really trying to get out of this.
God Bless
Sierra~~