Okay so I've had writers block for a while now but today I hope to conquer it. So here we go.
Chapter 25
As confusing as finding Dimitri was, I couldn't let it phase me. He had broken up with me behind my back after going crazy jealous on me. I was better off without him. Right? Over the next few days I tried to convince myself of that and stay strong, which wasn't that easy when you spent every minute of every day with him. Not to mention the fact that our hands couldn't help but brush in the halls when we weren't breathing down each other's necks sparring.
A week later, after one such occasion, when he had actually fallen on top of me, I was walking back to the dorms alone. I needed to take deep breaths and focus on the jerk he had been. As I passed by the commons, I heard a horrendously high giggle. I held my breath and turned back. Mia was sitting in Dimitri's lap, her hands all over him. He was smiling his lazy smile, which made the whole thing so much worse. The little bitch looked up at me, her smug eyes taunting me. I realized she didn't even really like him. She was just trying to get to me. So I did the thing I thought would annoy her most. I smiled, gave her a thumbs-up like we were best friends, and mouthed the words good job. Her smile faltered and I stifled a laugh while climbing up the stairs.
I held it together until I got to the balcony, then fell apart again. All thought of my getting back together after the song vanished. I didn't even know if he had been talking about me then. Who else had he been with? How long had that been going on? I didn't know what was happening to the world around me. I allowed myself a single sob and then bottled the rest of it up. So when the Pack and Lissa came home, they saw only the mask that I had glued on. Kylie and Lissa knocked on the glass door to the balcony. I opened it but kept myself positioned so that they couldn't come out. There was something about this being my safe place lately, like it was something sacred, and I didn't want it disturbed.
"Us girls are thinking of going shopping this weekend. Come with?" Lissa had a look on her face I couldn't quite place for a minute. Then I realized it was like she was talking to someone fragile. She was trying to extend on olive branch. How far we had grown apart since the beginning of the year.
"It'll be super fun we promise!" I smiled at Kylie's obliviousness. She obviously didn't understand that as her Alpha, I wasn't supposed to go out with them. Then I thought, Screw that. I've been isolated long enough.
"Sure, sounds fun." I made my smile a little more genuine and told them we could go tomorrow. Lissa brightened, as if she had been expecting a no. They went to go fix dinner and I sat back down. The sunset was brilliant on the horizon. You could just see it over the tips of the trees, making them glow while setting the sky ablaze in a flurry of pink and orange.
I needed a way to connect with my Pack that wouldn't tear my wall down. I decided to hold a meeting before dinner.
"Okay guys. I know I haven't been here that much recently, but I feel like we've grown apart a lot. I don't want to be just your Alpha. I want to be your friend. So after dinner I'll call each of you out to the balcony and we'll talk about whatever you want. Sound good?" Everyone nodded, the most excited Lissa, the least excited Dimitri. We finished eating the chicken, rice, and green beans, the conversation a lot less strained than usual.
I decided to start with the least painful and work my way up the scale. "Lissa," I called. She came out onto the balcony and gasped at the sight of all the stars and the near black forest below us. "It's quite pretty, right?" She nodded and I smiled. "Sit, please." She did and I turned to her. "What do you want to talk about?"
She went into a discussion about how amazing Nick was and I smiled. I told her that he was great and then said I thought maybe there was a future for the two of them. She squealed, hugged me, and then went inside.
Paul talked about soccer and how his team was doing. Kylie talked about Sam, who read the entire time. Abby talked about Matt who talked about Lissa (what a girl hahahahaha).
When Nick came out, I knew it was trouble. He brought a flower. "So Nick…what do you want to talk about?" I just hoped it wasn't me.
"I know you and Dimitri had a falling out, and I just wanted to let you know that I'm always here for you." He scooted his chair a little closer, and inside I shuddered. I so did not need this right now. "I'm really glad you gave us this chance to talk, Rose. I've always kind of felt like maybe one day, we would end up together." And then he kissed me. I so did not need this right now.
I grabbed his neck and arm and flipped him over roughly, pinning him to the ground face down. "No offense, Nick, but I really just can't deal with that right now. Dismissed." I turned away so I didn't have to read his face while he left.
He sent Jean out. She looked a little scared, clearly picking up on my frustration with Nick. I turned around, taking a deep breath. "What do you want to talk about, Jean?"
She looked at the ground, got a determined look on, and said the last thing I wanted to hear. "Dimitri. Dimitri and you, I guess. You two need to get back together. The Pack was working fine, and then you broke up and now Lissa is inside crying because she saw what Nick did and Nick's angry that you embarrassed him and Matt's mad because Lissa's crying which has made Abby cry. Sam's not even here anymore, Kylie's sobbing, and Dimitri's just sitting there, completely blank. The whole place is falling apart!" Her voice had picked up speed and volume. I turned away, leaning on the railing.
"It's not that simple." She started to protest, then picked up on the image of Mia and Dimitri, the song, and my mixed feelings on the subject. The whole shebang. She fell silent.
"You still have to try, if not for the Pack then for that half that wants you to," she said quietly. I nodded at the moon. When I turned around, Dimitri was looking at me instead of Jean.
He also had a determined look on his face. Oh boy, this would be fun.