I'm thinking of something witty to say at this point...
... and I come up with a blank. My brain seems to be running out of its 'humour' section.
Oh well. Revised version of the seventh chapter, blah, blah, blah.
The engagement scene in the last and this chapter is a figment of my imagination, by the way. So please, I'd prefer it if nobody accuses me of butchering their traditions.
Many thanks to my fabulous and long-suffering beta Tomas The Betrayer, who has the patience to read through all of the junk that I come up with.
Review! Yes, my siren call is still in use.
Chapter 7
Of Unexpected Appearances and Ramen
Annoyance was a subjective term.
For example, at this moment, Shikamaru was feeling slightly annoyed, but not entirely so. So annoyance was not only subjective, but also conditional, depending on how many clauses there were. Almost like a pack of cards, where every card you pulled out depended on the one before it, and where each had a unique value which could either make, break, or remain indifferent to your hand.
At this particular moment, though, Konoha's resident genius could not liken himself to cards, although the conditional annoyance was certainly having its effect. While walking down a dusty street accompanied by the sound of his teammate munching chips and the other one screaming her loud blond head off could definitely not be called a soothing experience, spending time with them had certain advantages. Like how his mother wouldn't complain about Shikamaru not interacting enough with his peers when he went home tonight.
Troublesome woman. He had no idea why his father had married her.
Ino's long blond ponytail swung in front of his face as she happily made her way through the crowded marketplace, completely satisfied at being the center of attention of at least the group of hormonal teenage boys standing over by Ichiraku's. She hummed happily to herself, took out her compact to redo her make-up, and simultaneously managed to wink flirtatiously at her admirers, who promptly swooned at having their beloved Ino-sama actually wink at them. Nothing except the Honourable Itachi Uchiha noticing them could compare to this.
At his side, Chouji chomped on his bag of potato chips. He had lately decided to endorse a new brand with his generous patronage– a sticker on the plastic proclaimed "ZERO TRANS-FAT!" in bright purple letters. The chubby Chuunin had tried dieting on Ino's insistence, but managed to escape his personal hell by pointing out how remaining 'healthy' was essential to his ninjutsu. Ino had huffed, but the possibility of being proclaimed the worst team in the former Rookie-Nine was apparently enough to settle the issue. That didn't stop her from forcing him into vigourously exercising, though.
Shikamaru supposed he should feel glad that he had such caring teammates, who took care of each others' problems ("But Chouji, you're never going to get a girlfriend looking like THAT!") and so kindly used up their own time and energy helping their friends achieve the 'perfect goal'.
He didn't.
Which was why spending time with them could be a drag, after a while. Sure, he enjoyed Chouji's company. The other boy was so quiet, exactly like him, which was not really inspired by a general feeling of nothingness, but a desire to stuff as much as possible into his mouth per second. But his endless eating and talks about the various delicacies that were special to every place they visited, even if it was Konoha's marketplace, which they had patronized a thousand times before, could get trying after a while. He admired Ino's chirpy personality, which was more or less true. Being 'not-so-energy-motivated', as he liked to phrase it himself, he appreciated the vast reserves which she seemed to have within her grasp, but her constant chattering and self-obsessed comments would start grating on his ears after a short time.
This was why he was very glad to see Naruto and Sakura sitting in Ichiraku's and enjoying a bowl of ramen.
Ino noticed it at almost the same time that he did, and with a squeal of delight, flew forward and thrust herself into the middle of them with a loud, "What's up, Forehead?"
"INO-PIG! You just upset my ramen, baka!"
"Who cares? That dress was ugly enough with you wearing it."
"WHAT DID YOU SAY?"
"You heard me, LOSER!"
"I'm gonna kill your fat ass!"
"Who're you calling fat, Forehead?"
"What else do you call a pig that's been grown for slaughter? Oh, wait, gruesome!"
"Shut your mouth, bubblegum!"
"Ditz!"
"Floss!"
"SAI-LOVER!"
"Awww, what, you jealous that my boyfriend's actually got some artistic talent, huh? Don't worry, I'm sure a nice, trained garbage-man would marry you!"
"For one thing, he's not your boyfriend. For another, hello, he's an emotionally deprived person. I knew you were low, Ino-pig, but I never thought that you would stoop as low as to take advantage of a guy who doesn't know the difference between smiling and crying!"
"Not true," a dead, inflectionless voice cut in at that point. "In my personal experience, this does not qualify as being taken advantage of."
Five rookies' heads snapped around as the dark-haired artist under discussion rose up unexpectedly from behind Ichiraku's counter, holding his trademark brush and, somehow, wearing the restaurant's serving uniform.
While the rest of them reacted according to their natures – Shikamaru played it cool, Sakura and Ino shrieked like two banshees meeting after ten thousand years, Naruto swore and promptly spewed out his mouthful of ramen, and Chouji, miraculously, against all sensible bets, STOPPED EATING FOR A MOMENT – Sai only smiled, bowed, and said in his trademark monotone, "Good morning. Thank you for choosing to eat at Ichiraku's. We will ensure that you get the best possible service, along with the best ramen."
No one dared to move or respond to that statement. They only stared at their creepily composed compatriot.
Those flat doll eyes flicked over to Sakura, who actually quailed. "Also, as a side note, please do not believe the fat girl with the stringy pink hair standing here. I am perfectly aware of the difference between laughing and crying. Laughing is a psychological reaction induced by seeing a funny event, or by physical contact to areas that are particularly sensitive, but not overly so – for example, the sole of the foot may be considered an area which, when touched, would cause a person to 'laugh', but touching of the region immediately beneath the pelvis is more likely to be enjoyable for both males and females."
The disturbingly blank gaze now turned to rest upon the blond Chuunin choking on ramen. "Of course, this phenomenon does not apply for dickless idiots like Naruto Uzumaki, who is the ridiculous-looking boy in the orange-and-black jumpsuit scarfing down an indecent amount of ramen."
"HEY!"
"Please ignore his untrue protestations to the above fact," Sai continued. "Crying, on the other hand, is the emission of water and salt from ducts in the eyes, often caused by another psychological reaction towards feeling 'bad'. However, in certain conditions, it may also be induced by extreme happiness or physical pain, which the above-mentioned pink-haired girl is overly susceptible to producing."
Sai then beamed at them very convincingly, giving a friendly wave. "That is all. Thank you."
And with that, the black-haired enigma promptly sank back behind the counter.
The five people stood there motionless, all slightly stunned. Finally, Chouji broke the silence. "W-was that Sai?"
Sakura took a while to answer. "…I think so."
And then, argument forgotten, all of them promptly sat down on Ichiraku's seats. None dared look behind the counter. It was very quiet for a while.
"So…" Ino began tentatively, putting an arm around him. Shikamaru flinched, but bore it. "Where's Sasuke-kun?"
"I wish I knew," sighed Sakura. "He's been gone since yesterday. Didn't even come for practice today, can you believe it? Said something about a family function…"
Hiashi had been twelve years old when he had met his future wife for the first time.
She had been eight at the moment. Smiling, she had offered him a daisy. A token of their new friendship, she said.
He had refused, pointing out that the Hyuuga didn't make friends, merely alliances.
Now, as he sat at his eldest daughter's engagement ceremony, he wondered what would have happened if he had accepted that daisy along with her friendship.
Despite what many believed, Hiashi Hyuuga had really loved his wife. True, their union had been an arranged one, made on the basis of Main House privileges and the Elders' choice for the best suitable candidate to hold the position of his wife. But later on in their marriage, he had grown to love her for her kind and gentle nature, her willingness to offer aid, and her inner strength. Thus he could safely declare that Hinata was a product of love between them.
He wished he could say the same for Hanabi, but it was not so. He had been driven by greed then, by the desire to have a boy like his brother Hizashi, a strong son who could carry on the family name, a child to be proud of, unlike shy, timid, useless Hinata.
Well, it was none of his problem now. Hinata could never beat Hanabi in her present state, and he would make sure that she would not get a teacher. Her sensei, Kurenai Yuuhi, was pregnant at this very time, and therefore out of commission for the next year. A most fortuitous occurrence, since she was one person who wouldn't listen to him at all. The others would readily obey his wishes, or otherwise the Hokage would make sure they listened to her demands. Surely Tsunade, who was probably the happiest at this union, would not hesitate to make sure nothing came in the way of it.
After a year, Hinata would still be pathetic, would lose to Hanabi, officially forfeit her position as heir, and be pushed off to the hands of the Uchiha, where she would perform the only duty she was good for. He would have hit four birds, instead of the customary two, with one stone. Hinata would be stripped of her power as heir, Hanabi would be rightfully appointed, he would be fulfilling his part of the contract, and, best of all, nobody could even complain that he had chosen unfairly, for there would be a perfectly fair battle between his two daughters, with adequate preparation time. It was a win-win situation.
Hiashi sat back and coolly watched the ceremony with confident eyes.
White pearls in her hair, a collection of flowers all around her, the very picture of beauty.
Yes, nee-chan looked very beautiful today.
Hanabi hated it.
The white was mocking her, pointing out that she would never have the chance to be as pristine and pure, would sully it if she was the one presented with those garments. She wasn't pure, after all, unlike nee-chan, who was sitting in front of the Uchiha guy, eyes slightly downcast. Her sister's eyes were always averted to the ground, almost as if she was too shy to look up and face the world, too much of a lady to raise those pearls of hers. And what was with the Uchiha, anyway? All of those dark-haired guys were getting on her nerves, and why couldn't he stop staring at nee-chan? Was he a moron or what?
Hanabi was feeling particularly savage today.
Nee-chan had no right to look so pretty and happy when her life was falling apart. Didn't she realize what she was doing? Was she really going to marry the Uchiha and let him ruin her life? Was she crazy or what? Didn't she know about her responsibilities as the firstborn? Why had she even agreed to this bogus arrangement? Who had come up with a marriage between the Uchiha and the Hyuuga, anyway? Thetwo clans were mortal enemies. Worse than Kakashi and Maito Gai … although that did seem a little one-sided, come to think of it. But still, whatever happened to the whole I-hate-you-so-much-that-I-will-continue-to-say-your-last-name-like-it's-an-insult routine?
And what was the Hokage doing here? And why didn't pretty-boy Neji tell her anything? Didn't he realize that she was NOT A LITTLE KID ANYMORE? She was eleven, for god's sake – at her age, nee-chan had been battling for her life against him. She was a shinobi, and thus qualified to listen to all stuff, even if it was boring, adult, treaty-stuff.
Plus, that was her nee-chan they were marrying off here.
And on top of that, the idiotic Uchiha, not the wooden one nee-chan was getting married to, but that other one, his younger brother or something, the one who was always with Naruto, was staring at nee-chan with the oddest expression. If Hanabi had been romantic (and she was not), she would have probably said that he looked like a blind man seeing the sun for the first time. But being wholly without any poetic instinct whatsoever, she merely classified it as a baboon looking like he had just seen his own butt for the first time.
Whatever that meant.
Her so-called father was lording it over the entire room, looking on with coolly imposing eyes at the ceremony like nothing could possibly go wrong while under his unflinching stare. How did he do that, anyway? It made him look so intimidating… she had to learn that, to use it against all those dumb kids who thought they were better than her just because she had killed her mother.
No. She would not think of that today. No sirree. Today was to be solely devoted to sarcastic and witty comments upon everything she could lay her eyes upon. It was NOT to be wasted on pathetic thoughts about herself and certain parents whom she had deprived of life. She had to make a plan. She had to get to nee-chan's side and tell her what a fool she was being…
Oh, look. The first part of the ceremony was already over.
Hinata gave out a small inaudible sigh as the opening phase of her engagement ritual ended. It was perhaps the most difficult part, although none of the others could be called easy. She had been so afraid that she would trip as she made her grand entrance, or that she would let out some embarrassing sound when she was sitting next to her soon-to-be fiancé, or perhaps even faint under all the attention.
Hinata was very afraid of fainting. Which is why it was with no small amount of pride that she looked upon her perfect entrance and behavior. Even Father wasn't looking disapproving.
The beginning of the ceremony was mostly traditional, entwined with many readings of the same dull old verses from ancient books, and the exchange of promises between the fathers of the bride and groom. The next part would include the exchanging of gifts. It was delicate, but not so much as the grand entrance. That was one of the most difficult parts, especially when you were wearing enough clothes to outfit an army. No ANBU need ever wait for his uniform again.
She sighed inwardly and turned her attention to the priest, who was again droning out some long mumbo-jumbo about something or the other.
I wonder what Naruto-kun is doing?
Naruto finished eating his 56th bowl of ramen, and then signaled for another pile. The nervous attendant standing behind the counter immediately scurried away. Uzumaki-san had emergency privileges in the shop.
His pleasant licking of previously finished ramen-bowls was interrupted by a vigorous "ACHOO!" that shook the walls and prompted nearby customers to change their seats. The ramen-lover burped and then relaxed against the counter, uncaring of the empty stools around him. The others had left long ago, saying something about 'hospital', 'shopping', 'eating chips', and 'watching the clouds' respectively.
His order came. Excited, he picked up a pair of chopsticks, preparing to dig into his food. An errant thought stopped him momentarily.
"I wonder who was thinking of me… Gotta be Sakura-chan, dattebayo!"
And so cheered, the blond fool promptly started on his 57th bowl of Ichiraku's Special Fish-Egg Ramen!