Chapter 20

The Time Lord

Rainbow Dash flew over Ponyville, leaving a mostly blue blur behind her. She held in her mouth a letter that she had only received about an hour ago, though she should have received it long before then. She slowed down as she approached the post office and put down her hooves for a landing.

She entered the plain, brick building and approached a desk with a sign hanging over it that read, "Complaint Department." There was already a sizable line there of many ponies tapping their feet impatiently. A light tan stallion with a brown mane and a cutie mark shaped like an hourglass stood behind the desk, wearing an apathetic expression.

"Sorry for your troubles," Rainbow Dash could hear him talking to the pony at the front of the line, "but we're doing the best we can with only a few mailmares on staff. Ever since that incident with the parasprites devouring half the office nopony wants to work here."

The pony at the front of the line grunted, stomped a hoof and left. After many other ponies had their turn complaining about damaged packages, mail being delivered late and many other problems it was finally Rainbow's turn. Before she could speak, the pony behind the desk sighed and said, "Hey, have you seen a blue box outside anywhere? Three little foals shouted something about Cutie Mark Crusader Time Travelers and jumped in. I haven't seen it since."

"Yeah, we all got problems," she waved a hoof dismissively, "Listen, I was supposed to get this letter days ago before that rescheduled storm and Ditzy brought it to me late. Is there a way to make sure that doesn't happen again?"

The stallion rested his chin in one of his hooves. "Listen," he told her, "Ms. Doo is the only mailmare available this week. Other than me and the manager, that's all the staff we really have. I don't even really work here, I'm doing this as a favor for a friend. Now, if I had my equipment then maybe I could do something about your late mail. The problem is that I don't and even if I did, there's more important things going on than missing pieces of paper. Trust me, I'm the Doctor."

"Doctor who?" Rainbow Dash sneered.

"Just the Doctor," he answered.

Before she could say anything else, Ditzy Doo entered the building. "Hi there, Doc!" she said cheerfully as she lugged her mailbag across the floor, "There's a lot of mail here, but I think we have a problem. Can you help?"

"What kind of problem?" The doctor asked, "It's just a matter of getting it to the right address. Isn't it?"

Ditzy opened the bag and put a letter on the desk, "That's just the thing. It's all for somepony named Sender. I don't know who in Equestria that is. Do you know him?"

The envelope on the desk had big, red block letters on it the said, "Return to Sender". The Doctor pressed a hoof against his forehead and muttered something that started with, "in all my years..."

Rainbow Dash could see that this wasn't going anywhere. "I'm just gonna go," she said, "No point in sticking around here."

As she left the building, the pegasus saw a strange, blue box across the road. Across the top it read "Police Phone Call Box" in white letters. The door opened and the Cutie Mark Crusaders emerged.

The weather mare approached the three foals and asked, "What were you three doing in there? What is that thing?"

Scootaloo looked up and said, "Nothing and I don't know. I just want to go home and I never want to see another mannequin as long as I live," as she walked away, she suddenly remembered something, "Oh, and you should probably talk to that Roller guy today."

Rainbow arched an eyebrow and asked, "Why? He's kind of a creep."

"No reason," Sweetie Bell chimed in, "It definitely doesn't have anything to do with plastic ponies taking over Equestria. Nope. Nothing to do with that."

As the three foals left, Rainbow Dash just stood there in confusion. She looked at the box, then in the direction of the Hobby Horse. Shrugging her shoulders, she decided there probably wasn't much harm in listening to Rarity's little sister.

Fluttershy was trotting down the road with saddlebags full of goods and a little, white rabbit hopping along next to her. "Okay, Angel," she said the the bunny, "Now that we're done grocery shopping, all we have to do is pick up that cute little top hat for you from Rarity and we can go home."

The rabbit didn't seem happy about this as it started hopping further ahead of her. "Angel, wait!" she called out, but was ignored. The rabbit continued, turning the corner and running head first into a pair of pink hooves.

"Well, hello there," X greeted the rabbit with a smile, "Aren't you a cute little thing? Rabbits back in Edinstable weren't nearly this gutsy."

Fluttershy turned the corner in pursuit of her pet and bumped heads with his new acquaintance. "Ouch!" X yelped before saying something in a language Fluttershy didn't understand. Whatever she said, X sounded angry.

"Oh, I'm so sorry," Fluttershy apologized, "I was just following my bunny, um, his name is Angel, and I didn't see you there. Are you okay?"

X shook her head a few times before answering, "Aye, I'm fine. Should have known better than to stop right on a corner anyway," she rubbed where she got hit, "Don't worry about me, I used to play rugby with the neighborhood colts before my family moved here. I can take a hit. Are you alright?"

Fluttershy nodded, "Oh, yes. I'm fine. Sorry for the bump. I was trying to get Angel to take him to the Carousel Boutique."

"Where everything is chic, unique and magnifique?" X asked to clarify, "I was just there waiting for somepony for an hour. He never showed up," she sighed, "Typical colt. You know what I mean?"

The yellow pegasus blushed and shook her head, "N-not really. I should get going. Nice meeting you," she tried to walk around, but X spread her wings to block her path.

"What this 'not really' nonsense?" the pink pony challenged, "a demure little thing like you should be fending off the boys with a stick! Come on, let auntie X at least introduce you to somepony who might like you. Clelestia only knows how much he needs it."

Fluttershy couldn't bring herself to say anything as X got behind her and started pushing her down the road with Angel following close behind. In only a brief moment, she could see their destination up ahead. "The Hobby Horse?" she asked, "You're taking me to see Critical Roller?"

"Oh, you've met?" X stopped pushing for a moment. She smiled and said, "Good! That makes this less awkward," before resuming.

As the two approached the shop, they heard another voice from up above. up, they saw Rainbow Dash coming towards them. She landed and greeted the two, "Hey, Fluttershy. Who's you're new friend?"

Before Fluttershy could speak, X introduced herself, "My name is Xylophone Percussion. Friends call me X or XP. We were just on our way to the Hobby Horse if you wanted to join us, Ms... hmm. What is your name?"

"X, this is Rainbow Dash," said Fluttershy, "Rainbow Dash, could you please get..."

Rainbow Dash interrupted, "Yeah, I got the door," and opened the entrance to the hobby shop. Fluttershy was a little frustrated that she couldn't finish her plea for help, but before she had the courage to say anything more they were already in the store.

Roller stood behind the counter, paying more attention to a book than his shop. "Welcome to the Hobby Horse," he said without looking up from his book, "We buy and sell games and toys. My name is Roller. If you're looking for an autograph then just turn around and walk away."

X stepped up the counter, barely holding back a giggle. She moved her mouth in funny ways as she talked, trying to mimic how the other ponies in the room sounded, "Hell-oh thar pard-ner. Ah'm lookin' fer a..."

"Hello, X" Roller spoke again without looking up, "You can stop making fun of the way ponies from outside the Skylands talk."

"Shoot," she chuckled, "I thought I was getting good at copying that accent. Oh, by the way, I brought friends."

The author set his book down and looked up to see Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash. "Hello, fillies," he waved, "What brings you to my humble store? This isn't one of X's crazy attempts to get a marefriend for me, is it?"

"Crazy?" The pink pegasus sounded offended, "I did nothing wrong, Roller. You can't say they were all mad. What about that time I set you up with Diamond Mint?"

"She kicked me in the face," Roller reminded her in a flat voice.

X turned up her nose and said, "Well, maybe you shouldn't have made that joke about her sister Spearmint."

"You made that joke," he corrected her, "then you ducked," he thought for a moment before asking, "Why are we friends?"

X smirked, "You lack social skills and for some reason I think that's endearing."

Rainbow Dash whispered to Fluttershy, "Yeah. Great friends," before speaking loud enough for the others to hear, "So, what are you up to today, Roller? Got time for a game?"

The author was a little surprised and they could see it on his face, "Uh, you're asking to play? Now? Like, continue the campaign?"

Rainbow walked up to him and said in a low, angry tone, "That guy called me trash. I wanna hurt him."

Roller smiled and walked over to the door. "Well, you and Fluttershy were away from the rest of the group so we can probably manage that. Just let me close up for lunch and I'll set up the board," he told them. When he got to the door though, there was another pony there.

The pony in front of the shop seemed unnaturally smooth and shiny. "H-he-hello, Mr. R-r-r-ro-roller," it spoke like a skipping record, "C-ca-can I interest-t-t-t you in..."

"We're closed for lunch," Roller told him before slamming the door in his face. As the writer turned, a bright flash could be seen underneath the door. He opened the door again and saw the Doctor and Ditzy Doo standing on the other side.

"See, Ditzy?" the Doctor was smiling, "I told you that antiplastic would work. Now, let's..." he realized that the author was staring right at him, "Oh. Hello, um..." The doctor reached forward, took the doorknob in one hoof and shouted, "You're closed!" before slamming the door shut.

The four ponies and the rabbit inside the shop stood in silence for a moment. Finally, X asked, "Ever get the feeling that you're stuck in somepony's really weird fan fiction?"

Rainbow Dash shook her head and replied, "No, just Twilight's."

A/N: According to the Brony Code of Ethics and Fan Fiction, section 4, paragraph 9, "All fan fiction must make at least one or more references and/or jokes about Doctor Hooves/Who within the first twenty chapters." Well, there you go. Next chapter has more role-playing. See you next week.