Firstly, I wanna a huge thank you to ALL my fantastic reviewers, especially degrassijayandalex!

Hope you like where this is going, and you will stick with it to the end!

DISCLAIMER: I own nothing Degrassi! Which is sad... but unfortunately true.

October 2001

Alex: 13

Jay: 14

News of Karen Hogart's death spread like wildfire around the trailer park. For a week afterward, coroners, lawyers, welfare workers and funeral directors were spotted coming and going to the house in the corner. Jay's aunt Melissa and her Yankee husband Cory were temporarily residing in the end trailer. With Karen gone, there was no-one to take care of legal matters.

Jay Hogart wasn't seen for three days after the news broke. The only person whom he revealed himself to was Alex. A little after the stroke of midnight, he came lightly knocking on her door, bringing with him the news of his mom's passing. She'd gotten into a car accident. Pronounced dead at the scene. It had taken less than a second to end her life.

Jay didn't cry. But he didn't do much else either. He refused to eat anything he was offered. He spent the nights sitting on the steps chain smoking. He'd come back in reeking of smoke, but it didn't faze him. He slept on the couch at Alex's. He didn't go to school. Neither did Alex. They stayed home together during the day, saying nothing, doing nothing. They just sat around soaking up each others company. The grief of loosing his mom had encased him. The only companion he had was his thoughts. He had worries as well. His mom was dead and his dad was in prison. He had nowhere to stay. No money or good enough grades to get a place with student welfare. He was homeless.

"Stay here. With us." Alex suggested.

Jay scoffed at her idea. She was naïve. There was no way he could stay with Alex and her mom and Nathaniel. "I can't." He simply said. He was thankful that Alex didn't request an elaboration.

Karen's funeral was the following Monday. Jay was forced to return home on the Sunday night. Inside, it was cold and eerie. His aunt Mel and uncle Cory had bought their lives with them, and their own possessions had stormed through the house, replacing the charm and memories that Karen had left behind. Jay walked through the rooms robotically. No lights, no heating, no life.

He didn't sleep that night. The next morning, he looked terrible.

Emily Nunez never really knew Karen Hogart. She was rarely sober or conscious enough to pay any attention to with whom or where Alex was socializing. She didn't tell her mom about the funeral. She told her she was going to school. That was a lie.

She went straight to Jay's trailer. As she stood at the door waiting to be granted access, she looked down to the disused flower pot on the first step. Cigarette ends with lipstick stains inked around the end cluttered together in the bottom of the pot, and Alex felt a shiver go shooting down her spine.

Jay answered the door. He wore a black tee-shirt with a huge AC/DC: Back In Black logo emblazoned on, and jeans.

"Come in." He said gruffly. He stepped aside to let her in. She stepped through the threshold and into the uninviting abode. Jay may have been decked out in sloppy casual wear, but he had a suit draped over the back of the couch. His aunt and uncle were sat on the other couch, next to each other looking frightfully rigid and scared. Melissa looked a lot like her recently deceased sister, so much so it was quite off-putting.

"This is Alex." Jay introduced her. He waved his hand wearily toward his relatives. "Melissa and Cory."

"Hi." Alex said politely. She just smiled briefly as Melissa and Cory smiled back at her, not making any sound.

"Let's go to my room." Jay ordered, grabbing the material of Alex' tee-shirt and pulling her toward the door, eager to get her out of the atmospheric living room situation.

In Jay's room, it was way less tense. Jay didn't seem too upset by the theme of the day. Once they got away from the grieving relatives and the awkward atmosphere, it was a pretty normal morning...

"Thanks for coming round." Jay said sincerely. He perched on the side of the bed. Alex thought he looked nervous. Jay felt nervous.

He sat fiddling with a loose thread in his socks, and Alex sat opposite him looking around the room, wishing the ground would open and swallow her up.

She was so used to the silences that went with being at Jay's house, so when there was a knock at the door, Alex almost jumped out of her skin.

"Jay? Alex? Can I come in?" Melissa's sugary sweet, high pitched voice ran out from the other side of the door.

"Yeah!" Jay shouted out.

"Hi, guys. Jay, here's your suit." She held a black and gray pinstripe suit, white shirt and black tie.

"OK, thanks." Jay took his suit and threw it on the bed. Melissa smiled sadly and left the room, quietly closing the door behind her.

Jay changed into his suit in front of her. Alex felt flustered, and could feel her cheeks reddening as he took off his tee-shirt to reveal a much more toned and slender body frame than the podgy belly he'd had when they used to play in the pool together. He sprayed himself all over and put on his white shirt and slipped the jacket on, feeling ridiculous.

Alex felt even more ridiculous though when Jay dropped his jeans and wandered around in his boxers for a good five minutes before putting on his trousers.

Alex's eyes darted around, looking frantically at the scenery around her. She didn't know where to look! Man, she really wasn't ready for all this yet, Jay was right.

Jay staggered as he stepped into his trousers, and spun around to see Alex sat on his bed with flushed cheeks and a panicked look on her face. "Don't know where to look, do ya?" He said chuckling. Alex felt her cheeks go even redder.

"No, no!" Alex said, her cheeks ablaze. "I'm OK."

Jay just smiled and zipped up his flies, feeling one up on Alex.

Twenty eight minutes later, they were getting into Uncle Cory's Mitsubishi, on their way to the cemetery. There was a death-defying silence in the car for the entire duration of the twenty minute drive. Jay refused to look at Alex. He stared out of the window like the road rushing past was the most interesting thing he'd ever seen.

Cory made nervous small talk with Alex, and she spoke back just so she wouldn't have to endure the awkward silence anymore.

Alex didn't really remember much about the funeral. She blocked it all out. Seeing Jay cry for the first time ever was uncomfortable. He was usually so strong and tough. When the funeral was over, Jay invited Alex round the back of the church.

He lit up a cigarette and Alex basked in the irony of what they were doing. He took two drags and passed it to her. She inhaled the smoke and looked at Jay's bleary eyes. "Don't tell anyone at Degrassi about this." He warned, as if reading her mind.

"Oh, I won't." Alex smirked, and he smiled back weakly. Alex liked it when they joked around together. It made her feel she was getting somewhere, making progress.

"Finish that." He said, passing the cigarette to her.

The twosome were consumed in more awkward silence, until Jay made a very unexpected move.

"Alex?" His husky voice shattered the silence. Alex looked up and Jay turned toward her, and his lips crashed into hers, taking her by complete surprise. He didn't pull away though, like he usually did. The kiss became deeper and she felt his tongue inside her mouth. He clamped his hand to the back of her head and laced the other around her thin waist. This was the first time she'd made out with a boy, and she was terrified that she was doing it wrong. But he didn't point out her imperfections, so she guessed it was going OK.

When he pulled away, he had a guilty look on his face. "Alex, I'm moving to Oregon."

Hope you liked it, Please R&R!