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Chapter Seven: Missing You

November 2001
Alex: 13
Jay: 14

The end of the year was approaching again. It had been a whirlwind of a year, and it wasn't even out yet. There was still a month and a half to go, Alex was sure she hadn't seen the last of the drama.

Jay had been gone for less two weeks but Alex hadn't heard a word from him in that time. She didn't know what it was like in Oregon, but Toronto was damn cold. The winter blues had kicked in early and the days were short. But cold, wet and stormy. The weather reflected Alex's current situation so well, it was kinda ironic.

Turned out, she was right. Just the next day, she was awoken by a slanging match unfolding in the next room. She bolted out of bed and stood at her door, opened it a crack, and watched what was going on. She'd learned not to go racing out there when Nathaniel was going off on one.

Nathaniel was beating on her mom. His fist formed a tight clasp as it went slamming sickeningly into her mom's face. Blood was gushing from a cut on her temple, and she cried out in despair as she saw Alex witness it all. "Please, stop!" Emily pleaded. Ruthless Nathaniel ignored her pleas and sent her flying across the room with one foul swoop, crashing into the dinner table. She flipped over the surface and came to a stomach-turning stop as her black and blue body met the shabby carpet. The table had overturned and the objects atop it came hurtling toward the ground with it. Alex wanted to run out and help her mom, but she knew Nathaniel was dangerous. His mood was venomous and he wouldn't think twice about doing exactly the same to Alex what he had just done to her mom.

Emily lifted her head slowly off the ground and propped herself up.

Satisfied with the damage he'd done, Nathaniel made plans to leave. "I'm outta here." He spoke up. He straightened his shirt and staggered out of the trailer. Alex heard the engine of his old, rusty Cadillac start up and he drove out of the trailer park leaving a cloud of dust lingering in the air in the wake of the cars tire tracks.

He was always driving while drunk, Emily could never get across to him the message about how dangerous it was. It wasn't surprising he didn't get that. If he didn't understand the severity or drunkenly beating the shit out of his girlfriend and her daughter, then it was unlikely he'd understand putting both his own and innocent strangers lives at risk to get behind the wheel steamed.

Alex waited with baited breath for Nathaniel's return, but when it didn't happen, she bravely stepped out of her room and headed toward her broken mother.

She picked her up off the floor and cleaned up her wound. She got a reel of cotton wool and soaked it in the clear, foul smelling beverage, the only useful function of Vodka in her opinion.

"Ow!" Emily winced as the alcohol met the deep, bloody gash. Alex didn't apologize, she just carried on with the task in hand. She eventually wiped away the blood, it seemed to be a never-ending stream of sticky red liquid. She got a fresh wad of cotton wool and soaked it again in the booze. She rung it out and bandaged it to her mom's temple.

"There you go." She said simply as she finished.

"Thank you, baby." Emily smiled weakly and lightly touched the cheek of her daughter bruise free face. She was thankful that Nathaniel hadn't hit out at her this time. But Emily didn't know that Alex had two big bruises, one on her leg and the other across her ribcage, from where Nathaniel lashed out at her and threw her in her bedroom, just a week and a half ago.

"I'm goin' back to bed." Alex rose from the breakfast bar they were sat at and headed toward her bedroom robotically.

"I'm sorry, baby!" Emily called out desperately. She saw the hurt in Alex's usually sparkling eyes. She was so young and so beautiful and so innocent, she didn't deserve to be subjected to shit like this day in day out. Alex didn't stop to listen to her mom's whining.

What was her mom sorry for? Hooking up with Nathaniel in the first place? Letting Nathaniel have abuse them both as if he was king. Letting said abuser into their house for two and a half years of hell on earth? Betraying her? She had so much to answer for.

Meanwhile, Jay's life in Oregon was a million miles from his life in Toronto. Living in Melissa and Cory's posh, picture-perfect home in the suburbs was uncomfortably difficult for Jay. He was still getting used to the rules: taking his shoes off indoors, no loud music after 7.30pm, no cigarette smoking ANYWHERE near the house, and definitely NO alcohol.

He spent his days away from home. He had until the end of the week, four days, until he was to start his home tutoring from Melissa.

Jay was ecstatic when he was told he wouldn't have to attend school, but his face soon fell as he was informed of the homeschooling. He didn't know Melissa was a trainee teacher. That was what you got for ignoring your family for twelve years, because you thought your life sucked.

He spent most of his time smoking cigarettes in the center of the town. There was nothing to do in Portland, nothing that he was interested in anyway. He looked above him to the sky. In TO, he was used to the mega skyscrapers adorning the skyline, making the people look and feel like ants.

He stubbed out his fifth cigarette and decided maybe it was time he did something else. He rose wearily from the huge fountain he was sat on, and walked around a bit. He had kinda got a hold of the geography of the area. He knew that if carried on past the small parade of shops, and round the corner, there was a school. The school got out at 3pm, and judging by the time on the bell tower, he had four more minutes before the students came filtering out.

He sat a few feet away from the front of the school, on a bench, soaking up the sunshine. For winter, it was quite sunny, but not very warm by any stretch of the imagination. Except here, it was quite pleasant. Weather wise. He heard the bell peel out throughout the halls and all of a sudden there were 1000 kids busting out of the double doors.

Jocks, nerds, preps, emo kids, rich kids, foreign exchange students... it was just like Degrassi. As he watched them all he wondered who were the popular ones, and if it were the same as Degrassi in that sense. He saw a look-a-like for every person from Degrassi that he'd left behind, that really meant something in his life. A couple walking down the steps in unison reminded him of Sean and Amy. He wore a wife beater and his hair slicked back, looked a few grades older than his counterpart. The girl he was tangled around was shorter than him with her honey colored hair in a messy bun and a smug, proud look on her face. Jay could tell she wasn't very well liked at this school. Trailing behind them, a tall, slim attractive girl, probably in the grade between the girl and the guy. She had glossy brown/black hair that shone a million colors as the sun caught it. Jay had to look twice. If he didn't know better he would have insisted it was Alex. He blinked and looked again, but the girl had disappeared into the heavy crowds of school kids, and he could just see her head bobbing around, before she was gone from sight.

Alex wasn't used to the eerie silence that her home had been plunged into. No Nathaniel to disturb the peace. She'd told her mom she was going back to bed, but she was wide awake and there was no way she was going back to sleep now. She got dressed into a hot pink wifebeater and ripped stonewashed jeans. It may have been arctic outside, but in the house, her mom had cranked up the heating and Alex was sweltering.

She couldn't call Jay; no phone number for him.

She couldn't text Jay; he didn't have a cell.

She couldn't IM Jay; she had no computer.

She was at a loose end. She sat on her bed watching TV, The Powerpuff Girls. There was no way she wanted to watch this crap, but she didn't bother changing the channel. She just couldn't be bothered. Everything seemed to be like that at the moment. She just couldn't be bothered.

She could hear her mom running the tap in the kitchen for what seemed an eternity. A little while later, she heard the vacuum roar.

Alex shot off her bed and entered the living room. Stacks of washing up were draining next to the sink, her mom had vacuumed the whole kitchen and living room area and the windows were open,

"Mom?" Alex called over the blare of the vacuum. Her mom, who was facing away from her, didn't hear her over the noise. "Mom!" Alex shouted loudly.

Emily immediately shut off the vacuum and spun around. "I'm cleaning. Fresh start." She said without hesitation.

"Oh, OK..." Alex said slowly. "I'm going out for a while." She tiptoed over the clean carpet, put on her Adidas sneakers, grabbed her hoodie and slipped out of the house.

- - - - -

She sat at the ravine alone, smoking a cigarette. The bad weather kept anyone else from being there too. Just as Alex sat down atop one of the picnic benches, it began to spit with rain. The burned out remains of a bonfire creaked ominously. Tree branches rustled and the wind was picking up. She was constantly looking over her shoulder for Nathaniel. She was constantly looking around the ravine for Jay. But he wasn't there. She dropped her eyes to the chipped and tagged wooden tabletop.

Amongst the cigarette burns and carvings was Jay's tag: J.HogartTO. He'd hacked at the surface with a small blade and fashioned the letters out of short, snappy diagonal lines. Alex ran her fingers over the etching sadly and her mind came right back round to thinking about Jay and where he was and what he was doing.

As night time fell across Portland, Oregon, Jay Hogart felt a feeling coming over him that he'd never ever experienced before. Shortness of breath, a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach, he felt an excruciating pain go shooting through his head. He'd spent the past hour with his memories flitting between his mom and Alex. He missed his mom desperately. He knew that when he got back to Toronto, she wouldn't be there. He'd have no-one. The logical thing to do would to stay in Portland. But he couldn't do that. His life was in TO, he couldn't just up and leave like that, it wasn't that easy. He did miss Alex. There was nothing he could do about it, but he wished he could go back in a time machine and take back all the bad stuff that had happened to her. He wished he could keep her safe. He wished he could keep his mom safe and tell her not to go out in the car to the convenience store that day. Pop-Tarts were not a necessity. He didn't need them. Alex was thousands of miles away now, and Jay knew had a horrible feeling she wasn't safe. What if something happened to her and he wasn't there to be her savior?

There's chapter seven! Hope you guys liked it! Please review this, please! It'd mean so much to me!