Hello there, all the wonderful people who are still taking the time to read this!

(And by this, I mean the story, not the Author's notes)

A couple of announcements. I have posted a new story called Memories of a Death Eater. I understand that many people will be offended by it, because it isn't a very Canon pairing, but if you are interested, then please check it out. It's a Harry Potter fanfic, and it centers on the pairing of Bellatrix Lestrange and Sirius Black.

Secondly, Quid Pro Quo is, as of this moment, on hold. I understand that I have a bad tendency to start stories and then suddenly stop writing them, but I am trying to concentrate on Marriage of Convenience for now. When it is finished (and I assure you, that will not be anytime soon), then I will shift my sights to all the others languishing in my account. Which includes any other stories that I may have published in the past, and will publish and possibly temporarily abandon in the future.

Thirdly, I am going through a major fanfic-hippie phase, and have just decided to go wherever the pen, or, in this case, the keys, take me. I am writing stuff, in the last two chapters and this one, that completely deviate from the normal plotline that I had visualised in my head, and I request my readers to be patient with me. I may drastically change the plot again, but I assure you I will continue with this story.

Fourthly, I am going to warn you that because of these drastic plot changes, my muse may stop working any time, and the plot draft I had written out is already ineligible to compensate, so I am liable to stop this story suddenly. I will try to continue with it for as long as possible, though.

Fifthly, yes, I realise that this is a long Author's note, and I will bow out and let you read your chapter immediately after a short announcement. I understand that this chapter may seem like filler to a lot of people, but I assure you, that's just because I am trying to get back on my feet after the sudden change in direction, and I would like for the viewers to hear what really happened in the last chapter from an impartial person who knows all the facts, before and after the incident.

Anyway, read and enjoy the chapter. I look forward to hearing your comments on this crazy one.

~conorlover~

Chapter 12

Of unpleasant explanations

Neji stared in disbelief at the two impassive Uchihas who stood in front of him.

Beside him, Hanabi's expression was much the same.

"So let me get this straight," she slowly drawled, her trademark 'I'm-a-Hyuuga-and-you-better-be-piss-scared-of-me' accent coming out with a venegeance. "Uchiha Itachi supposedly stripped in front of my sister, attacked her, ripped apart her kimono, and then passed out?"

"S-s-s-s-somewhat l-like that, yes," the elder of the two, who was dressed remarkably like Ebisu, managed to stammer out while wiping the sweat from his forehead. Looked like the Hyuuga accent was working. "Itachi-sama didn't actually just pass out – he was helped along by some, uh… injuries sustained during his, uh… antics."

The other was bobbing his head up and down vigorously. "Yes! I'm afraid Itachi-sama sustained some injuries while this little escapade, but we can assure you that there will be no long-lasting effects, and he will be up and kicking in no time!"

"Shut up," Hanabi snarled. The two men cowered back. It really would have been extremely amusing to see two grown shinobi tremble before an eleven year old girl if it wasn't so damn scary. "Do you think I'm gonna let that molester near my sister ever again? No way, mister!"

"Hanabi-sama!" one of the escorts from the Main House that Hiashi has insisted accompany Hanabi exclaimed, looking scandalized. "Please, control your tongue! This kind of language is not acceptable in the House of the Hyuuga!"

"I don't understand, Uchiha-san," one of the other escorts politely articulated. Diplomacy was very important in these crucial times. "Could you please explain it again, from the beginning?"

"Itachi-sama had a mission with Hatake Kakashi-san," the other escort began, licking his lips nervously. "He was supposed to meet Hyuuga-san after that. Unfortunately it seems that he got a bit drunk – there was alcohol in his blood test – and apparently, uh, attempted to become more intimate with Hyuuga-san, if you know what I mean."

"And then their chaperone, Miyanami-sama, got a bit, uh, angered, and, uh, started teaching Itachi-sama some, in her own words, 'manners'."

"So I'm afraid that Itachi-sama is currently in the hospital working off his hangover and nursing several head injuries. Sakura-san from the hospital assures me that he will be fine in no time, though, so there's nothing to worry about…"

"Yes! And we hope that Hyuuga-san will recover from her little fainting fit soon and be able to resume her duties as the Daughter of One of the Great Clans, and as the Fiancée of One of the Great Clans' Sons, Itachi-sama."

Hanabi was practically seething with fury now, but somehow managed to control herself. As much as she could be controlled, anyway. "You want my sister to meet your stupid, sexually frustrated heir again? For what? So that she can get assaulted again? The bloody moron fucking tried to tear her obi off!"

"Hanabi-sama! Please control yourself!"

This debacle had been going on since morning. He had calmly been training alone, watching out for birds in the sky and improving his Byakugan's range, when Tenten had come running up, panting and out of breath. She managed to gasp out something about Hinata, hospital, faint, and Uchiha. A normal person would have waited until she was able to speak properly and articulately before making any assumptions, but Neji was not a normal person. He was the prototype of the Dangerous and Worried Shinobi Brother Model, and this factor kicked in the moment the words Hinata, Hospital, and Uchiha were said. He set of at a run towards the hospital, running over God know's how many people in his haste to get to his little sister, and then, when he finally got there, he found the way barred by at least fifteen Uchiha clansmen.

If there hadn't been timely intervention in the pissed-off form of Hanabi, Neji would most likely have been facing charges for unprovoked murder of fifteen Uchihas right now, but fortunately for him, at that exact moment his other younger sister chose to appear, her normally grim face looking even more grim. That woman could give Death a run for his money. She had walked right between all those humongously tall barbarians and come to a stop right in front of Neji, grabbing his sleeve and dragging him somewhere where there were no Uchihas for him to murder, before explaining what she knew about Hinata.

Apparently, Itachi had attacked Hinata-sama and caused her to faint, while simultaneously somehow managing to get several bruises on his head and managing to burn his hair. Neji was still feeling murderously angry towards the Uchiha heir, but his intent to kill had been somewhat diminished after hearing about the loss of his hair. As a long-haired person himself, who took hair-care very seriously (he had twelve different types of shampoo and conditioner), the loss of one's hair had been a loss he was intimately acquainted with. A freak mission with four other shinobi chasing a rogue medical patient had led him to be severely injured when he was thirteen, and Hokage-sama had been forced to utilize his hair to heal him.

He never would fully forgive her for that. Looking into the mirror and seeing a bob was one image he could do without. It would almost have been better if she had taken his 'most important thing that characterized him being a male' instead.

Neji very firmly believed that usage of graphic terms, even in his own head, was an offence best not committed.

He even more firmly believed that the Hokage had stolen some of his lovely hair to make a wig for herself. After all, a women nearing sixty couldn't possibly have that much hair, could she? Plus, his own hair was well-conditioned and shiny, and could easily be dyed…

Why was he thinking about conditioner when his little sister was lying insensible in a hospital room?

Although she could use better conditioner. Hinata had lovely hair, but it was wasted with that herbal thing she used. Maybe when she woke up, he's advise her to change to the new one that Jiraiya-sama had brought with him from the tropics. It smelled very nice, like roses, and it made your hair just oh so soft and shiny…

Focus, Hyuuga. You are not going to let these irresponsible… men... get away with whatever they want! Even if the guy did lose his hair. Terrible.

When Sasuke rushed to the hospital, the scene was slightly different from his expectations.

Instead of somber men and women in black, mourning his brother's injuries, there were people running helter-skelter everywhere. He saw some of the Uchiha task force looking severely harassed with a ramen-loving idiot in between them (what the hell was that dobe doing here anyway?) and that short Hyuuga, what was her name?, with Hinata's older brother, seemingly arguing (aka scaring the shit out of) some other members of the Uchiha clan (what the hell did the Hyuuga have to do with this?).

Averting his eyes from the impending disaster, he searched the room for a familiar, safe, and sympathizing face, which he found in the form of a weary-looking Shisui Uchiha, slouched against a chair.

Said young man looked up as Sasuke drew near him and smiled wearily, looking as though he had been through a lot. Sasuke cautiously approached him, and then sat down on an adjacent chair. Both men remained silent for a moment, and then Sasuke asked with a lump in his throat "How is he?"

Shisui sighed. "He's okay. Tsunade's just checking him up as we speak. He'll have a few scars, and his ego is completely shattered, but he's gonna be alright."

Sasuke thre his head back, relieved. "Thank God! I was afraid for him, for a moment. When that little guy came running up to me with the news, I just bolted here as fast as I could. I still can't believe that Itachi of all people could be ambushed by Cloud ninjas, you know?"

Shisui looked at him strangely. "What are you talking about? Cloud ninjas?"

Sasuke looked at him in a bewildered manner. "The ones who attacked Itachi as he was returning from his mission. He could have taken them all, but apparently he was taken by surprise. That's the reason he's in there."

Sasuke wasn't used to seeing a traffic light on a person's face.

Shisui seemed to be the impersonation remarkably well, although in a different manner. Expressions seemed to be the order of the day.

His face flashed confusion and a questioning look before rapidly transforming into a look of complete understanding, and then morphed into a mixture of horror and amusement.

Then he tried to control his give-away feature.

Itachi would have been ashamed of him. His elder brother always had advocated that a blank, emotionless face was the best way not to give your enemy any sort of a hint.

Not that Shisui was his enemy. No, he was just his elder brother's best friends, who had been around since his childhood, and who, if he didn't give some answers soon, would be missing some teeth vital for making ladies' swoon.

"What?" Sasuke snapped, more from reflex than anything. He did not appreciate being mocked or humiliated in any way, and Shisui's rapidly forming pity-cum-laughter did not suit his temperament. His brother's… situation, Sasuke refused to call it anything else until he knew all the facts… had also left him slightly jumpy and irritable.

Shisui was looking at him with a mixture of wonder, understanding and pity on his face, and it was pissing the hell out of Sasuke. "They didn't tell you anything, did they? Or maybe you got it from the rumour mills?" he trailed of wonderingly.

There would be one less Uchiha in Konoha if Shisui didn't start explaining, fast. "What the hell are you yapping about."

Even thought he was clearly pushing it, Shisui was a smart man. Years of hanging around an emotionless, but potentially explosive Itachi had taught him that there were some situations where it was better not to prolong the explanation. Mocking could be done later. Would be done later – but if only you escaped with your life, and the look on Sasuke's face right now made him seriously doubt the possibility that he would die an old man. Evaluating his immediate options, he regretfully concluded that he would have to cut his fun short and hurriedly try to explain to Sasuke how precariously wrong he was.

"Sasuke," he said carefully. Better safe than sorry. "I'm afraid that some of the facts that they – or whoever – gave you, are wrong."

Sasuke looked like statue. No movement at all. Like a marble replica of a murderous younger brother. Who several nurses were drooling and giggling over.

Shisui continued. "You see, when Itachi got back from his mission, it appears that he and Kakashi-san went out for a drink. And apparently the Copycat Ninja is indeed unaware of Itachi's low tolerance for alcohol."

Okay, he was beginning to get scared now. Couldn't Sasuke move away those dead eyes for a second?

"And so he went back to meet with Hinata-san, and I guess Pervert Kakashi told him some stuff, and just got in his head, y'know, and then he, um, might have attacked Hinata-san, but not really attacked, just kinda… assaulted, even though it wasn't an assault at all. My guess is, he's been frozen for so long that I guess he just wanted some physical contact, y'know, and then he just saw this hot girl sitting demurely waiting for him in this secluded room, jus' like in the movies, and then bam! His hormones, they go all crazy, man, and he just forgets everything and thinks 'well, it's time to show some skin, y'all', coz' he got some mean abs, I mean, seriously nasty ones, like nice, warm banana toast. So he rips his shirt off, all macho like, and then gets it down and busy with the little woman."

It was fortunate that Shisui was so caught up in retelling his story that he momentarily forgot about Sasuke's expression, because if he had, then he would have seen the caring and repentant younger brother morph into a dragon breathing the fire of rage, jealousy, anger, and betrayal.

"So, 'nyway," Shisui continued to ramble on, impervious to his surroundings and greatly enjoying himself. "He exposes those meat-eaters, and then decides that the little woman ain't showing 'nough skin, y'know what I'm saying? I mean, damn, all these hot high-class chicks, they got it all and ain't afraid to give a man a little show, y'know, but this one, she's different. Never seen her with more than five inches of skin showing, max, and that's a pity if I ever saw one. I mean, it's elegant and all, and it suits her to boot, but I fell kinda bad for Itachi and every male who ever found her hot. It's a real waste of a good show, I'm tellin' ya. So Itachi gets frustrated, no fault of his, old chap, and decides that enough is enough, he and his fiancée have to get a little thing going before they both explode, y'know?

"Only thing is, old chap didn't count on the fact that she's shy. So, anyway, he gets to the part where he gets the front of her robe open, and then, little missy freaks out and screams. Loudly.

"Now, y'know how all those prissy elders insisted that they take an escort with them, right? Kinda like a person to supervise them, and all? Yeah, it's a real turn off for a guy to have this old weirdo sitting in the corner acting all prissy and proper, but what Itachi got – it was a drag, man. I mean, the guy has some serious bad luck. He got that old hag, Miyanami. Y'know, the one that always goes on and on about clan ethics and morality, and how today's generation have failed, and how amazing she is, blah blah blah. So, Itachi had to bear with that old geezer barking at him at all hours of the day, even when he wanted to appear cool to impress his lady, y'know? So, being inebriated like he was, courtesy of the Copycat Pervert, he completely forgot that old hag – like anyone remembers her, anyway – and proceeded to make his intentions known to the lovely Ms. Hyuuga.

"Turns out, it's a bad idea. Miyanami sees that and completely loses it. She's never liked Itachi anyway – she thinks that her brother should have become clan leader instead of Fugaku-sama, even though your Dad beat him fair and square. Plus, there was that thing with your Mom and all. She thinks Itachi's a mental case, and well, seeing him jump on that poor girl like that just strengthened her beliefs, I guess. She went bazookas. She always was sour at your family, and this must have just sent her over the edge. Y'know how she's so eager to get the good books of the Hokage. She must've thought that Itachi's little indiscretion could make the Hyuugas back out of the whole bloody thing over here.

"Anyway, going bonkers, she picked up the first thing she could see, which, by the way, was one of those heavy, old incense-holders. Itachi's not really a big fan, but your Ma loved them, so he sticks with it. Turned against him now, though. Being rather preoccupied as he was, drunk and with a pretty girl no less, he fails to notice Dracula's ugly Ma standing behind him. Miya-whammy goes 'whammy' and all Tarzan, and converts into the hyena she is, using that heavy old thing to beat Itachi up. I think her mind finally gave in, what after watching everybody treat her less than the princess she thinks she is. So Granny goes whamma-slamma, and then your friend, that weird blond over there, magically appears on the scene. I think he was way too surprised t'do anything, honest. I mean, when I got there, only thing I could think of was 'shit! Itachi's losin' a lotta blood', and 'Miyanami's one crazy old coot!' and 'that girl really was hiding somethin' behind all those heavy robes. Da-a-amn!'. Poor guy must've been so shocked that he wouldn't know what hit him. So he stands there with him mouth going open-close, like a goldfish – good comparison, what with that sunshine hair and all – and then the Uchiha Cleaning Service arrive.

"Y'know, they like to think they're so cool, but truth is, they're just as human as the rest of us. They stood around gaping like a coupl'a mules, and then when they finally got to action, Miyanami-crazy mammy decided that Itachi had had enough, and swung the incense-holder-thingy one las' time to get in a real good hit.

"Unfortunately, the incense-holder missed. Now, when I say unfortunately, you'd think that the unfortunately was for her, right? Wrong. The thing went sailing past his ears, but the incense sticks in the damn thing decided that they were having too much fun to stop, and promptly decided to light themselves – just as they brushed past Itachi's hair.

"Now, your bro, he's really proud of his hair, man. Keeps it shiny and silky, to impress the ladies and all. Uses the best, most expensive products. Well, turns out that for all the shininess they give him, that conditioner got a bad side. Turns your head into a virtual pile of coals, man, like aerosol, dude. Itachi's head went up like it was the summer festival already, like a bunch of fireworks and a bonfire. By this time, your bro got real crazy. Not only is he majorly drunk, but he's also been hit on the head by a crazy banshee, and now that he's real dizzy, his freakin' head's on fire. Sucks, huh? So, anyway, he makes his way over to the dark door of doom, and then goes sailing out, running like a hundred of those Inuzuka hounds are chasin' ya. Quite a sight, I'll tell ya, seeing a drunk, dizzy man running with his head on fire when his hormones are goin' crazy. Everyone who saw him took quite a hit.

Anyway, ANBU had to be called in, and by the time they got him calmed down, most of his hair was gone anyway. He's gonna be real upset about that when he wakes up, but I'm not the one who's gonna be telling him, and, for once, I am absolutely NOT involved in anythin' that went on in that madhouse out there. So some of the clan's guys cart him over here, where Shizune takes one look at him, and carts him straight into that Emergency Room. We're still waitin' for the response."

Shisui finally finished his story, looking mighty pleased with himself. He, for one, was fond of telling an amusing story now and then, and he could sense a hit in the making. This one was going on for years.

His feeling of self-satisfaction faded as soon as he looked at the person beside him. From a statue, Sasuke had turned into a thundercloud. His face radiated negative energy and thoughts, and Shisui felt sure that if he stayed here for a second more, he was going to become charcoal. No, thanks.

"Well," he said, breaking out into a nervous sweat, his hands beginning to fiddle nervously with his fingers. "I suppose I'd better, uh, get going. Somebody's, uh, waiting for me, right over there, by the, uh, dumpster."

Even the smell of a thousand rotten banana peels was better than staying with this furious cloud of wrath that had appeared in front of him. He quickly made his escape. This day sucked.

Well, not completely. He still had a great story.

This chapter was written in a bit of a hurry, and I only had time to spell-check it once, so I am profusely sorry for any spelling/grammatical errors that you may have come across.

Also, I realise that this is about a thousand words shorter than where I usually get off, but the point is, again, I am confused and excited by the new pattern and changes in this story, and I am going to flow with it.

I am VERY eager to hear all your responses to it. And yes, that is a shameless call for everybody to review, please (smiles and offers cookies).

Hoping to hear from you and update soon.

~conorlover~