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Chapter Ten: Things Can Only Get Better

January 2002
Alex: 13
Jay: 14

Jay hadn't really thought through his return to Toronto. It was approaching 2 am, Alex had left him almost half an hour ago and he had nowhere to now go.

He trudged aimlessly up and down the rows, looking in the windows of the trailers. Lots of people were still out enjoying the new years party. He got right to the corner where his house used to be, and he saw his old place. It looked in much better shape than when he and his mom occupied it. That place really was a shit hole. But he couldn't go back to it, and that was killing him inside. He couldn't come back to Toronto to his old life, cos it was all gone. He'd never wanted for anything in his life, he was happy with the lot he was given, but now for the first time all he wanted was his mom back and his old life, living here in TO. All he could think about was his dad in prison. He was the only relative he had here in Toronto, and he was in fucking jail for beating his mom.

He and Alex were getting more and more similar, the age difference didn't even seem anything anymore. They needed each other, Jay had to stay strong for her and Alex needed to stay strong to defend herself against Nathaniel. It made Jay sick that this man was still roaming the streets making their lives hell.

Jay felt it to be his duty to protect Alex, but the reminder that he had to go back to Oregon kept cropping up in his memory. He had so many thoughts about the whole situation the only way he could get it all down was to write it...

His handwriting was poor at the best of times, but now, in the dim light, his hand was put out from fighting Nathaniel, and he was more than a little shook up with the whole Alex drama, his writing resembled that of an illiterate, dyslexic four year old:

I wanna be here to make sure you are OK, but I can't be in two places at once. Thinking about all this makes my heart bleed. I've never written something like this before, so I'm sorry if its crap. I bet it sounds really fake coming from me, cuz I never act like this in real life, but I really do mean it. No one has ever made me chat shit like this before, so you've gotta be doing something right. I don't know what I'm gonna do when I gotta go back, but one things for sure, I'm not gonna leave you on your own again.

I don't know if I'll ever show you this. Its quite embarrassingly mushy and lame. Don't you ever let anyone see this, OK?

I'll help get Nathaniel off your case. I'll do whatever it takes.

His hand was still aching from doing so much writing as he folded up the paper until it was a tiny fraction of its former self and put it deep in his black hoodie pocket. He was about to make his way over to the 24 hour convenience store across the street, but was distracted by the familiar sight of his good friend Sean Cameron... making out with Ellie!

Hold up! That weirdo goth girl Ellie is with Sean? Bad ass Sean Cameron? How the fuck does that figure?

"Sean?" Jay asked in disbelief. Sean instantly ditched Ellie and came bounding over to give Jay one of the weird macho guy hugs.

"Whats up man? When did ya get back to Toronto?"

"Just now." Jay said shortly. He was so not in the mood for small talk. "Uh, Ellie?" Jay turned his attention to Sean's lady friend. "Can I have a word?"

"With her? You know her?" Sean spoke without thinking. Jay was sure he hadn't meant for it to come out sounding so rude, but alcohol + a freaky kissing partner meant the occasional bout of accidental word vomit.

"Yeah. Just five minutes, then you can have her back." Jay continued.

Ellie looked to Sean for permission to go talk to Jay, which made him sick. "What's up?"

"I need you to tell me some stuff about Alex." Jay whispered quickly. "When was Nathaniel last here?"

"I dunno, like a month ago? Or maybe more, I don't know." Ellie slurred her words and Jay could see her gently swaying as she stood in front of him. She was no help.

"Ellie, think about it, seriously! When was it?" Jay lowered his tone and he spoke sinisterly.

"November. I think. It was like a week after you left or something."

Jay didn't like hearing that he'd 'left'. It made him feel more guilty than he did before. "Why did he leave?"

"Alex never said." Ellie shrugged, not understanding why it was a big deal.

Jay looked exasperated. If Ellie was a guy he'd probably have decked her out of sheer restlessness by now. He didn't raise his hand to her though, no matter how stressed he was. He didn't curse or shout at her either, he just turned and stalked off, kicking up dust from the chalky ground as he walked.

He needed to find out exactly what Nathaniel's game plan was. He needed to hunt this guy down and make sure that the time he hit Alex around the ribs was the last time he'd ever lay a hand on Alex, or Emily or any woman.

Alex was relieved to know Jay was back. She needed a guardian angel looking out for her, and he was finally back to keep her safe. She'd never admit to anyone that Nathaniel scared her, but with Jay it was like he saw straight through her façade. They say that they eyes are the window to the soul. When Jay looked in her eyes, Alex felt a million tonne weight of problems and anxiety washing away. He was always going to be there for her, she knew that now. There had been a rough couple of weeks when he first left when she thought she'd be on her own forever and he'd never come back.

Maybe it was a New Years Resolution, maybe it was a sudden attack of conscience, Alex wasn't sure, but her mom came in at 3am to tuck Alex in and kiss her goodnight.

"Night, sweetie." Emily leaned in and placed a motherly kiss on her forehead. Alex wasn't use to such displays of affection from her mom. "Sweet dreams."

"Night mom." Alex called out into the empty darkness. As her mom closed up the bedroom door, Alex found herself alone again. She couldn't believe the night was over all ready. It may have come to a premature close, but she had the perfect memories that would last a life time.

Perfect, that is, until they turned sour. Nathaniel's appearance tarnished the happy memory she had of the party. Jay had stuck up for her, step one of making sure he would always be there for her, but deep down she wished he wouldn't. Moreover, she wished that he didn't have to.

It was after 5.30am before Alex actually got to sleep. Lucky there was no school the next day. Her mind had been so busy analyzing and processing the events of the past few months, sleep had taken a place on the back burner.

Jay was still wandering around town aimlessly at 6am. It was cold, bitterly cold. He'd spent just three and a half hours of the night asleep.

He went down to the ravine, maneuvered one of the picnic benches to against the wall, covered it in a tarpaulin, trapping the ends in the space between the wall and the bench wood so it wouldn't fly away. He ducked underneath and slept in the shelter of his makeshift 'tent'. Even though it was in the sheltered bit of the ravine, and it was covered by tarpaulin, it was still bitterly cold. The chilly Canadian winter weather made sure of that.

At 5.45am, when he could stand it no longer, he emerged from his 'tent' looking decidedly worse for wear, feeling cranky and wishing he had somewhere warm to be.

He paced the sidewalk in aggravation. He dug deep in his pocket and counted the money he had: two crumpled twenty dollar bills, a handful of quarters and a button.

"This'll get me far." Jay muttered to himself as he tossed the button back in his jeans pocket for safe keeping. He re-evaluated the sixty-odd dollars he was clutching in his left hand. He had enough to go to the 24 hour convenience store and get himself a Coke. It had been about eight hours since he'd drank or eaten, and his head was beginning to spin. After that he also realized it had been the same amount of time since he'd smoked a cigarette. This was the perfect way for him to give up. Shame he was in no mood to do such a thing.

Ellie Nash fell asleep before her head hit the pillow. She had absolutely no idea who this Sean kid was, except he was a friend of Jay's. Hell, she barely knew Jay, only through Alex, but she'd finished the night draped over him naughtily in the corner, exchanging saliva.

In the morning, she wouldn't remember a thing.

Alex who'd finally just got some shut eye, had a dreamless nights sleep. She was sure that in the morning, things would seem better. Drenched in sunshine and daylight, things were always better. Right...?

There's chapter ten! Hope you liked!

PS – I described American money in the bit with Jay, cos I wasn't sure what Canadian dollars were like – eg: do they still have dimes, quarters, nickels, etc... Hope it wasn't too culturally incorrect! :)

Please R&R! Enjoy!