I know it's a little late in the game, but from henceforth, all chapter's will be named after songs. I'm sorry for the mahoosive wait between chapters, I've been on vacation!

DISCLAIMER: I own nothing! Yad-i-Yah! You know the drill.

Oh – and I've been forgetting to put the date in on the story, but from this point onwards, I'll make sure I do.

Lastly, in the UK the phrase 'skinning up' means to roll a spliff/joint etc. Hope you guys understand!!

So without further ado, here's Chapter 12: The Way I Are!

Chapter 12: The Way I Are – Timbaland ft. Keri Hilson and Doe

January 2002
Alex: 13
Jay: 14

Jay decided instantly that he wasn't going to tell Alex anything about Sunny. If he ever went back to Portland, he'd have a lot of explaining to do – in both countries – but that was a maybe. For now, he had plenty of stuff to focus on. How the hell he thought he could come back to Toronto on his own and find somewhere to live and get a place back in Degrassi he did not know.

Misguided.

Alex watched Jay discretely as his mind ticked over. She wondered what he was thinking. His eyes were drooping, he'd be gone soon. He didn't notice her looking at him. He had the Play Station One controller in his hand. "Ready?" He asked spacily.

Alex nodded and retrieved her controller, but after commencement, game play didn't last long. Jay's character came to a stand still and the controller dropped to the floor, the loud rattling caused Alex to jump. Jay's head was slumped forward resting on his chest.

"God, it's gonna be a long day." Alex mused to herself.

Jay was sat in his house, at his kitchen table, in is trailer. Alex was sat opposite him melting plastic action figures and reshaping them into obscene positions. His mom was bustling around in the background arranging little toy cars into ascending size order. Suddenly there was a knock at the door. His mom carried on rearranging, and Alex carried on melting, as if nothing was happening. Alex had her head bowed slightly, but Jay could see she wasn't as he remembered her. Her hair was longer, wavy, and she wore a tiny gold nose stud that caught the lights and blinded him. Still, no-one seemed to notice the knock on the door, but curiosity got the better of Jay and he rose from his seat to go answer it. As he did, he caught a look at the date on the calendar that was tacked to the refrigerator. October 9th 2009.

As he edged slowly toward the door, things began to change. He blinked and when he opened his eyes mere milliseconds later, his surroundings had completely changed. He was in a small apartment, two floors up, gray walls, wooden floors, sparse furnishings, no warmth to the place at all. A floor-length mirror on the wall by the front door, and the image reflected into it, caused him to turn around quickly. Sat at the table was a scarily recognizable girl. Very long poker straight black hair with bangs, massive silver hoop earrings and smoky made up eyes. It was definitely Alex. She was hard at work skinning up a joint. Her tanned fingers with long French manicured nails worked quickly. She looked up at him momentarily, long enough for him to get a close look at her. The only thing different – well two things – 1. This "Alex" was at least eighteen or older. And 2. Her nose was thin and slight. Jay looked over to the coffee table and saw found line of coke.

The girl lowered her head and went back to what she was doing and didn't look up again. Another thing; his mom had disappeared.

He caught a glimpse of himself in the long mirror. His body took up the length and width of the mirror; broad shoulders, easily taller than 6ft, muscular arms. He wore a backward flat peak black cap and had a tattoo snaking its way round his bicep. He looked old! When the hell did he get a tattoo?

Another hasty knock at the door snapped him back to what he was doing. He opened the door. Stood before him was... himself? And Alex. Their thirteen and fourteen year old selves were stood at the door smiling weirdly...

And that was all Jay remembered. He woke with a start. Alex looked down on him with a look scarily reminiscent of that in his dream. He leaped off the couch like it was on fire and looked around the room in paranoia.

"Jay?" Alex asked, jumping up too.

Jay studied Alex's face closely. She looked more concerned and just a little bit frightened than on drugs.

"Jay, what the fuck?" She repeated, her eyes struck with confusion and panic..

"That was fuckin' weird." Jay said, clapping his hand to the side of his face. Alex watched him look around the room nervously.

"What was?" She pressed on exasperatedly.

"Uh, I had a weird... dream." he was unsure of what to refer to it as.

"Oh..." Alex was dumbfounded. That was not what she expected Jay was going to say. A grin began to tease her lips, and soon a wide smile spread across her face. "A dream?" She mocked, stifling a laugh.

Jay looked at her in uncertainty, but quickly decided to let it slide.

"You were in it." Jay said, shooting her a sharp look.

"Oh yeah?" Alex's interest increased. "What happened?" She asked now purposefully instead of mockingly.

"It wasn't like you. You looked different. My mom was there too." Jay added slowly. "Then she just disappeared."

Jay and Alex looked at each other, knowing exactly what the other was thinking. That obviously signified her death, so what if the other occurrences in the dream signified things to look out for?

"And then it got really weird after that. We were in this place. This house. Me and you, all drugged up and shit. I answered the door and it was us, now. At the door."

"What?" Alex asked befuddled.

"It was me and you right now, talking to me and you as like twenty year old druggies."

"Oh." Alex said simply.

Jay was exasperated. Alex just didn't get it. "Forget it!" He exclaimed flapping his hands about dramatically. "I'll have forgotten about it by tomorrow."

- - - - -

Alex didn't get the weirdness of Jay's dream, but it really put the shivers up Jay's spine. He didn't like seeing his mom in dreams. She lived on in his conscience, and that was where he intended for her to stay. But when he was asleep, he lost all control of his sub-conscious and she was free to crop up anywhere.

He tried to explain it to Alex, but she ended up just lying about getting what he was talking about.

Another thing that had got to Jay about the dream was Alex when she'd been sat at the kitchen table. Were they really destined for a life of drugs and failure?

A week passed and things were coasting alone nicely. He'd swallowed his pride and accepted the offer to sleep on Alex's couch, as humiliating and ego-bashing as it was for him, at least he now had a roof over his head. He barely remembered the details of that weird dream, and he didn't find himself recalling parts of it, which was a relief. Nathaniel didn't show up again, and Emily was oblivious to the fact that he'd ever come back. So far, Jay was doing a good job of keeping his girl safe. She'd started opening up to him more, without being forced or asked. She voluntarily showed him her bruises and how they'd gone down. Jay ran his fingers feather lightly over the discoloration and reassured her once again that things were going to be OK. Alex wanted to believe him, she really did, but she had to doubt his words. Both of their lives were shit. Alex could see no bright lights at the end of any tunnels. The words coming from his mouth may as well be any old bullshit.

"I promise you. It'll all be OK in the end." Alex's face lit up and they shared the most awesome fourth kiss ever. Things were going great, but Alex pulled away suddenly. Jay couldn't help but get aggravated.

"What?" He asked impatiently.

"I need one more promise." Alex explained in a hushed whisper. "If Nathaniel comes back, you have to promise not to do anything stupid."

"Lexi, don't stick up for that asshole, he's a jerk!"

"I don't want you to get hurt."

Jay threw Alex a doubting look.

"OIK, so you could take him easily." Alex admitted. "But I don't want you to do anything to get yourself into trouble."

"Trouble's my middle name, Lexi." Jay tried to lighten the mood by injecting a little humor.

"No it isn't, it's Jackson." Alex reminded him, not getting the joke.

Jay winced at the mention of his fathers name.

"Sorry, I didn't meant that." Alex said sheepishly as she realized what she'd said.

"It's true, Lexi. It's not like you can help I have a complete tool for a dad!" Jay joked dryly.

"At least you got a dad."

"Oh don't give me that bull!" Jay snorted. "You hate your dad as much as I do!"

Jay screwed up his face as he realized that sentence came out all wrong. "That's not what I meant. You know what I meant, right?"

Alex just smile half-heartedly.

Jay wasn't ready to go to bed when Alex retired at 11.30pm. He stayed up talking for two hours after Alex had gone. It was kinda embarrassing talking to Emily; she asked such shameless, forthcoming questions.

"You and my Alex make a lovely pair." Emily smiled, cradling her warm beer in her hands.

Jay just half smiled and nodded slightly in agreement.

"You'll take good care of her won't you? Stay safe, if you catch my drift." Emily said winking.

""Oh God, no, we don't, I-

"For future reference then." Emily said, smiling a gap tooth wicked smile. Jay's cheeks blazed and he wished the ground would open up and swallow him whole, but Emily didn't seem phased at all. She downed the remainder of her can and excuses herself to bed, leaving fireball Jay to burn up the sofa with his immortal embarrassment. His brain was too active to even think about sleeping. It was after 1AM and the house was completely silent, but the millions of thoughts that occupied his brain and deafened him. The talk with Emily had really got him thinking.

To Say he'd never thought about doing it with Alex would be and understatement. It had crossed his mind more than a few times but he couldn't think about Alex without thinking about Sunny. The reason was, when he was in Oregon, Sunny and Jay were more than just friends. He actually went all the way with her. Before she tried to invite him to the New Years party, the one he ditched to return to Toronto, they'd had sex. It wasn't good by any stretch of the imagination.

After that, Jay started seeing Sunny in a whole new light. She was just hungry for one thing. He couldn't talk to her, or laugh with her or joke with her like he could with Alex. All Sunny wanted was sex, and everything to do with sex. Jay delivered that one time, but then he began noticing the slutty side of her that so many people had told him about, which he refused to believe. That made it even harder for Sunny to let him go. Jay on the other hand was glad to get away from Sunny and her constant demands.

Weirdly, he had the audacity to have sex with her then run off back to Oregon to Alex, but he couldn't seem to find the heart to tell Sunny he was interested in someone else. For the time being, Jay could keep his tumble with Sunny a secret, but things that he wanted to keep to himself had a habit of coming out for Jay.

On paper, Sunny seemed the obvious choice for Jay over Alex. She was the right age, perfect body, beautiful looks and maturity to boot. But Alex had different attributes. Cute, with that little something extra that Jay couldn't quite place. Physically, she could never compare to Sunny, but in Jay's eyes, Alex won every time. He loved her the way she was.

Woo! Finally An Update! Hope You Liked It And I Hope You Think It Was Worth The Wait!

Please R&R!! x