I don't know if this will be any good cuz I'm seriously suffering writers block but I haven't updated in a while and I feel bad so I wanted to get this one out.

DISCLAIMER: I own nothing.

Chapter Sixteen: All I Ever Wanted - Basshunter

April 2002
Alex: 13
Jay: 15

Meanwhile...

Jay was an excellent lurker. He had concealed himself within the trees and fronds of the ravine and was watching as an angry Alex sort of peered around a few tree trunks, presumably looking for him. He would step put and announce his presence, but judging by the frosty look on her face, he stayed put for the time being.

He watched her as tugged on the sleeves of her jacket as she crossed her arms tightly to keep the bitterly cold early evening chill out. As he shifted his weight from one leg to another, the crackly leaves and branches crunched and he flinched as Alex's attention was caught for a few moments. She looked in the direction of where he was stood, but her eyes were glazed over and she appeared to look straight passed him. There was a surreal few seconds were their eyes met but they weren't making eye contact, and Jay could feel his heart hammering in his chest so loud he wondered if she could hear it.

Alex was facing diagonally away from him. He watched her as she lightly ran her finger over the random carvings and initials etched into the bench top. It sparked memories of hanging around here with Courtney and Adam and all those guys. It had been a year since he'd really spoken to them. Some friends they were. But he didn't need stuck up tweenies like them anyway. The first time Alex had been introduced to his friends down the ravine... well that had gone horribly wrong. Jay shuddered at that memory, wishing he would have been able to step down from his jerk attitude and actually stood up for her. Acted like a gentleman, not a dickhead. Story of his life. All he ever wanted was to keep Alex safe. Way before there was anything between them. Back when they were kids and Alex used keep her abusive home life a secret, and Jay would pretend not to know, but really long to be able to help her out. When they were young things felt much simpler. They weren't, he realized that now. But when you were that young, you could shelter yourself from it and not let it affect you. There came a point in life though when that became no longer an option. Jay couldn't just stand back on the sidelines and watch as some jerk tore Alex's family apart, and Alex couldn't just stand back and watch as some other girl took Jay's heart and kept it for herself. Something had to be done. Jay turned and ever so carefully crept away., relieved that the quiet grassy area wasn't too far away. He reached the grass and was able to pick up speed, and sneak off undetected.

He got to a pay phone and chucked in his coins.

"Abortion clinics in Portland, Oregon please." He asked when Information connected. There was only one abortion clinic in Parkrose, Portland, which made things a hell of a lot easier for Jay to track Sunny down. He waited impatiently as he was connected and the phone on the other end rang incessantly for what felt like centuries.

"Seven Acres, Ruth speaking, how can I help you?" A receptionist with a Southern drawl answered the phone eventually.

"Sunny James." Was all Jay managed to stutter out.

"Excuse me?" The Southern receptionist screeched down the phone.

"I need to speak to Sunny James!" Jay shouted impatiently.

"I'm sorry but we can't-"

"Please! She's aborting my baby and I need to get to her before it's too late!" Jay confessed, his voice

"What did you say the name was?" Ruth asked, her tone sounding a mix of reluctance and wanting to help.

"Sunny James!" Jay practically shouted exasperated down the phone.

"How do you spell that?"

"S-U-N-N-Y J-A-M-E-S!" Jay was getting beyond restless now. He felt like he was on a timer and when it reached 00:00 he would explode. "Please, just let me speak to her!"

He heard keyboard letters clattering as long nails tapped in Sunny's name into the computer. The sound was torture in his ears, he felt like they were bleeding.

"I'm sorry, but there's no-one here under that name."

"Try Sunny Matthews?" Jay suggested to no avail.

"I'm sorry but there is no patient under that name I think you are mistaken."

"No!" Jay snarled bitterly. "Check again!"

He heard the familiar clatter of keyboard keys again, but nothing came of it. Jay through the handset down and slammed his fist into the confines of the phone booth. His mind was swarming with crazy thoughts. He was at a loss. One horrible thought kept coming back round persistently on the conveyor belt of his brain: Sunny had lied. When it first cropped up, he shook it away and passed it off as ridiculous. But the more he thought about it the more sickeningly true he realized it could be. There were more points to support that theory than went against it. When he'd had sex with Sunny, he was more than sure they'd used a condom. In fact, when he came to think about it, he knew they had. Sunny hadn't seemed emotional at all when she'd phoned him that time to deliver the fateful news. Jay's world had fallen down around him with the repercussions of his actions of that night, but Sunny was acting so casual and laid back she was almost horizontal. It made no sense. Aborting a baby was murder, yet this psychotic girl that had managed to infiltrate her way into his life was acting like it was just throwing away an old shirt, or something equally as painless.

Sure he was a little relieved he didn't have the responsibility of a baby to face up to at such a young age, but he still couldn't get over the fact that a tiny person lost it's life so two selfish teenagers could get on with their lives as normal. Maybe that was why Sunny was so calm... cuz she was a fucking liar!

- - - - -

Jay was livid when he'd finalized in his mind what had happened. It had to be true. He rifled through his pockets looking for more quarters to throw in the phone to ring Sunny and get the truth out of her, but once again he'd cleaned himself out and had no money to do anything. He couldn't afford the phone, let alone a bus into the city. He was stuck in Toronto once again. He had no family; they were all dead or imprisoned or living out in the middle of nowhere. His life was a mess; he'd messed it all up and there was nothing he could do about it. With nowhere to go, no home to call his own and no-one in the city that could tide him over til morning, he was facing another night in a doorway. Unless...

The feeling of fright that was encompassing Alex was multiplying. She wished that it wasn't happening, but it was. She wished that her eyes were deceiving her, but they weren't. Ellie was sat leaned against a tree trunk with her legs curled under her, her left arm stuck out in front of her. Her face was twisted into a helpless, pained expression. Alex shot off the table top and rushed to her side. She sank down to her level and grabbed the top of her arm in horror.

"El, what the hell is this?" Alex eyed gushing cuts on her friends arm. Ellie's face was ivory white pale and her eyes were glazed over and far away. Alex noticed her sway on the spot from the loss of blood. Ellie's icy cold, blood-soaked skin had suffered four deep gashes. They gaped and sticky red liquid seeped profusely.

"I..." Ellie trailed off, leaving her sentence suspended in air.

"Ellie, how could you do this to yourself you stupid ass!" Alex asked in despairing frustration mixed with panic and fright. Her mind was scrambling as she tried to figure out what to do. It was like there was a huge block in her brain separating her actions and her thoughts.

There's another chapter! Hope you liked it! It took me bloomin' ages to figure out what it should be that Alex sees at the end of the last chapter, but I finally settled on giving it to Ellie, cos I figured I hadn't mentioned her in a while. Anyhoo, let me know what ya thought, leave a review!