A/N: Thanks so much for the reviews. I've PM'd everyone who won a prize, except for an anonymous reviewer by the penname BT, so if BT and all the other people I messaged could get back to me with their question/prompt, that would be awesome.
Also, please go to my profile and story alert the prize story. They aren't getting many reviews, and I don't even know if any of you guys are seeing them, so if you are interested... :)
The drive home is even worse than the drive out. Matt's driving and Mike's sitting in the passenger seat because Santana refuses to sit anywhere near her ex-boyfriend. Brittany and Santana are sitting on either side of her, squeezing her hands, while Brittany glares at the back of Mike's head. Puck and Quinn are sitting behind them, and the silence stretching over the car is awkward and uncomfortable.
After about an hour, Matt pulls over at a petrol station so that everyone can grab a snack. She's never seen the guys move so fast – as soon as the car is stationary, Puck, Matt and Mike practically fling their bodies out of the car.
As soon as Matt leaves, Santana breaks into tears, and she can tell that this is uncommon by the shocked look on Brittany's face and the look of horror on Quinn's. Turning to look at Santana, she's taken aback by her friend's opinion. Santana normally looks so put together and beautiful but right now, she looks like hell.
Her eyes are rimmed with red and dark bags are peering out from underneath her make-up, which is sloppily applied at best. Her hair looks greasy and is thrown up into a messy ponytail and the jumper she's wearing is at least three times too big.
"I don't know if I'm supposed to be happy or devastated over the break-up", Santana admits, her voice cracking slightly.
"What do you mean?" Britt says softly from her place on the other side of Rachel.
"Matt's been my boyfriend for years. We went to high school together, we work together and we live together. He's been a huge part of my life for years, Britt, so shouldn't I be devastated that we've broken up?"
"San, you look like you've had about an hour of sleep and judging by the red of your eyes, you've been crying for most of the night. Of course you're devastated", Brittany says quietly.
"I don't think I am", she responds. "I just feel so relieved that I'm single... it doesn't feel like a huge part of my life just ended. Shouldn't I be eating ice-cream and watching chick-flicks, while sobbing that Matt broke my heart?"
"Maybe you don't operate like that Santana. Maybe you'll be upset in private, and cry and watch chick-flicks by yourself. Maybe you'll take us out to bars and drink so that you can just forget about everything that happened", Rachel adds, her eyes worried.
"God, Matt's done everything I've ever asked of him and I can't even do our break-up right", she whispers, her eyes focused on the floor. "Britt, Quinn, can you please go get me some tissues and chocolate?"
The car is silent as Brittany and Quinn climb out but as soon as the doors slam shut behind them, Santana starts crying again.
"Santana, relax. It's going to be okay", she soothes, her hand awkwardly patting Santana's back.
"No it's not. Matt already tried to apologise to me this morning and he's going to keep trying. He loves me Rachel and I love him too but I don't know if I love him enough to get back together. He made everyone lie to me and keep this huge secret from me, and if he loved me, he wouldn't have done that. I just... I just don't know what to do here Rach, I have no clue what I'm supposed to do"
"Santana... I'm sure Brittany would be more helpful in this situation. She'll know exactly what to say"
"I can't even look at her right now without wanting to scream at her. She kept it a secret from me just like everyone else, and I don't know if I can forgive her for doing that"
"Santana, she's your best friend. She kept the truth from you because she knew it would hurt you. She was trying to protect you because she loves you and doesn't want to see you upset", she says softly, her hand resting on Santana's.
"She was supposed to be the only person who never hurt me", Santana whimpers, her body shaking, and suddenly everything clicks into place.
Santana's eyes flicker with what looks like jealously.
Watching you grieve is killing me Britt...
But really, it was San. She fixed me.
I'm her girlfriend without any of the perks.
Who did you think you'd end up with? You.
"Santana, is there another reason why Brittany's lies are hurting you so much?"
"She's my best friend – that's reason enough"
"Do you love her?"
"Of course I love her Rachel. She's my best friend. Why the hell is this not making sense to you? It's not rocket science... Britt's my best friend and she lied to me. I'm allowed to be upset over it"
The car falls silent again as Santana does her best to avoid eye contact and just proves that her judgement was correct.
"Don't pretend that you have no idea what I'm talking about. Coy and naive does not suit you Santana Lopez", she growls, her eyes narrowing at the innocent smile on Santana's face.
"She's my best friend", Santana repeats, her eyes narrowing in response to the challenge.
"Cut the crap Santana"
"What the hell do you want me to say Rachel? That I'm in love with Brittany? That I want her to hold my hand instead of Mike's? That I get so insanely jealous whenever Mike and Brittany are together that it's hard to see straight? What the hell do you want from me Rachel?"
"I want you to admit that you are head over heels in love with your best friend which is why the fact that she lied to you hurts so much more than you and Matt breaking up"
"Just stop Rachel. I love Matt, and our break-up just hasn't sunk in yet, that's all"
"Santana, you can't honestly believe that"
"I've believed it for years, and I'm going to keep believing it. If Brittany and I were supposed to be together, we'd be together, but nothing has ever happened between us and that's how it's going to stay", she whispers, her eyes focused on the floor again.
"Is that what you want or what she wants?"
"Back the hell off Rachel, I'm done talking about this", she growls, her voice threatening.
She doesn't get a chance to respond as the car doors are flung open and everyone gets back into the car. Matt shoots an apologetic look at Santana which she ignores, and Mike tries (but fails) to ignore the glare Brittany is still sending in his direction. Santana refuses to look at Brittany and Brittany's face falls when she notices that her best friend won't make eye contact.
Puck looks about ready to kill someone so she offers to swap seats with him so that he's stuck between the fighting Brittany and only realizes how stupid that was when Quinn glares at her, her eyes shooting daggers.
Mike, Brittany and Santana fall asleep quickly, although she's sure that's more to do with the awkwardness of the car than being tired. Puck and Matt are silent and so is Quinn, although she's more than satisfied with glaring at her.
"Quinn, can you please just stop that? We have to sit opposite each other until we get back so can we at least be civil?"
"Rachel, just shut up"
"Quinn..." Puck says warningly from his seat in front of them, and the glare instantly falls off of Quinn's face, although her eyes are still venomous. Eventually, Puck joins the others in the land of dreams, his loud snores filling the car, and Quinn's glare is instantly turned back on.
"Look, I'm sorry for whatever I did that upset you so much"
"Don't you dare apologize to me. Don't act like you are so innocent and perfect and don't pretend that you can do no wrong"
"Quinn, I did nothing to you"
"Maybe not directly but you being here is screwing everything up for me. I know I made a lot of mistakes but I came back to fix them, and now that you're here, it's not working"
"That isn't my fault. You hurt Puck and Santana a lot and they aren't immediately going to forgive you. Even if I wasn't here, they wouldn't immediately fall over themselves to be your friend again"
Quinn's silent for a moment, her hair falling over her eyes that have suddenly taken on a glassy look. "I just didn't think it would be this hard"
"They're upset and hurt and they're wary about trusting you, and to be honest, you aren't doing a very good job of relieving their fears. Instead of playing nice with Santana, you deliberately try and rile her up and instead of giving Puck time to forgive you and move past everything, you're trying to force everything on him at once"
"I'm just used to getting everything at once. I normally get everything as soon as I want it, and I want their forgiveness and friendship so much"
"Just give it time Quinn", she says softly.
"This doesn't make us friends", the blonde warns, her eyes narrowing although they aren't as cold as they were earlier. "I still don't like you"
"I'll grow on you", she promises, a small smile lighting up her face.
"Rachel?" Quinn says quietly after neither of them have spoken for a moment.
"Yes Quinn?"
"I really am sorry for what I did to you. I was just upset and angry and I took it out on you. I'm a lot like Puck and Santana in that way... I tend to take my feelings out on other people if they get too close at the wrong time, and you were – to use a cliché – in the wrong place at the wrong time. If it makes you feel better, I felt like crap as soon as you left, and Santana tried to tear me apart, and even Brittany looked like she was ready to kill me. They really care about you Rachel, so don't blow it like I did". Quinn falls silent after that and she doesn't dare to say anything else, but she can't help the little smile that plays at her lips at Quinn's words.
She looks round at the people sitting in the car – Matt, who doesn't take his eyes off the road once; Mike, whose eyelids are fluttering slightly as he sleeps; Quinn, who looks like an angel as the light plays off her hair; Puck, whose snores are soothing her fears; and Santana and Brittany, whose hands are linked on Puck's laps, despite being asleep and fighting.
A bubble of fear rises in her chest as she looks round at the people in the car and her fingers grip at the seat as she remembers how that other car journey the tears slowly build up in her eyes, she swears to herself that it will not end this way, not for this group of people, because she refuses to let it. She'll save these people, even if it kills her, because failing again is not an option.
She and Brittany are dropped off at NYU first, and they slowly walk back to the dorm together. Brittany's eyes are drooping, but she still has enough energy left for a conversation before she collapses onto her bed.
"Thank you for being there for San today... I know she's struggling and I really want to help her but we aren't talking right now, so I'm just glad she has someone to help her"
"She loves you Britt... she won't stay mad for too long. She's just upset that you didn't tell her the truth".
"I know she'll forgive me, it just sucks that she's mad now. She's my soul-mate you know", Brittany says quietly; as she begins to lose the battle to stay awake.
"What do you mean Britt? Isn't Mike your soul mate?"
"Mike's my boyfriend silly...", she teases, a small smile playing at her lips. "Santana's much more than that"
"Do you love her in the same way you love Mike?"
"I love Santana in every way", Brittany replies simply.
"So you love her like you love Mike? You can see yourself marrying her and having kids with her and living with her and spending the rest of your life with her?" she questions, slightly confused at Brittany's logic.
"Of course I'm going to spend the rest of my life with her. She's the one person I can't live without. I could lose everyone else but I'd still be okay as long as San was by my side", Britt says quietly, her eyes getting heavier and heavier.
"Then why are you still with Mike?"
"Because Mike loves me and he needs me, and I love him too", she whispers. "But we both know we aren't forever"
"What? Why? I thought you and Mike were going to get married and live happily ever after?"
"Haven't you been listening Rachel? Santana's my forever", she repeats. "I love her in every way", she adds, before her eyes finally close and she falls asleep, her chest rising and falling gracefully with each breath.
Santana's my forever.
A/N # 2: The game this time is a little different. I want to rename the story... in your review, leave a title suggestion. The one that I pick wins a prize.