I don't own the Sentinel.

Edited: 20 March 2019

Chapter 11

Jim glanced up as the elevator doors closed behind Blair, a frown tugging at the corners of his mouth. He didn't like the idea of Blair going off on his own. The man might get it into his head that Jim really did need professional help from the GSC. Still, he thought his vague threat would work to keep Sandburg in line at least until he came back to the station. It was true after all. The people at the GSC would be just as angry with Sandburg for helping Jim as they would be at Jim for hiding.

It helped that Sandburg didn't report Jim right away. Waiting to talk to Jim showed at least some element of consideration. Then, this morning he still kept his word and hadn't said anything, hadn't even let on with Jim using his senses in the office. It was better to be safe than sorry, though, and Jim wasn't going to fully trust Sandburg until he was sure.

Despite the added stress of Sandburg knowing his secret, Jim found himself almost more relaxed. Holding back his senses around Sandburg was draining and stressful. It wasn't natural for a Sentinel to completely suppress his senses, something he'd learned early on after coming online. It was better to use them minimally when they wouldn't be noticed and avoid the tension and pain from clamping down on them. He'd been too afraid to do that before, with a Guide sitting right next to him watching his every move, but now he didn't have to worry about that.

Then, even better was the realization that hit Jim in the ride to the station that morning. Sandburg, though a Guide, was also a scientist and as a scientist he was curious. Sandburg wanted to know how Jim survived and if he turned Jim in he'd never find out the answer. Sandburg might be able to turn Jim over to the GSC, which meant Jim had to do what he said, but Jim was the only one who could answer Sandburg's unending questions, giving Jim an equal hold over Sandburg, a Mexican stand-off if there ever was one. The thought made Jim want to laugh at the irony of it.

Aggravating the Hell out of Sandburg was a nice bonus, as well.

That didn't mean that he was starting to like having the Guide around, though. Oh, no, the sooner he could shake Sandburg and the two of them could go their own separate ways the better. It just meant that Sandburg knowing wasn't quite the disaster he thought it would be. Maybe he could even get some better ideas on how to avoiddetection now that he had some insider knowledge.

Those thoughts had Jim in an uncharacteristically better mood than normal that held straight through lunch despite Sandburg being late. It fell off again when the man came back looking jumpy and nervous. No one had noticed Jim's good mood, or rather, lack of a bad one. No one came near enough to notice. Plenty of people noticed Sandburg's nerves, however. Sandburg was distracted and jumpy. He kept glancing toward the door and startled a few times when someone came up behind him. Jim could see the others out of the corner of his eye glancing at the two of them. He could practically hear them wondering what big, bad, Jim Ellison had done to the poor, helpless Guide liaison.

It wasn't important what they thought of him. What mattered was Sandburg was now attracting attention, something he had promised not to do. The man had the worst poker face in the history of bluffs and liars. That or something had happened during lunch, but what could possibly have happened in such a short amount of time?

The thought worried at the back of Jim's mind throughout the afternoon, nearly snapping the third time the Guide spilled his paperwork all over the floor. Jim took a deep, quiet breath and held himself back, at least until they were behind closed doors and out of the public eye where he could give a brief but thorough lecture on clandestine ops 101. He had a good thing going here. It had taken him years to set himself up where he felt this amount of security. It would be just his luck if Sandburg managed to give away the entire game within the first 72 hours of finding out his secret, intentionally or not.

XXXXX

The day crawled by for Blair after he returned to the police department. He couldn't shake his conversation with Dr. Hendrick and the more he thought about it, the more worried he became. He glanced at the door repeatedly, expecting the man to walk through at any moment. It was unreasonable, he knew, but he would have thought finding a full-blown Sentinel living on his own would be unreasonable. More than that, the idea that there would be an entire demographic of Sentinels in hiding had been extremely unreasonable, and yet, there was Jim, the woman on the bus, and the man caught in the park. So Blair didn't feel too bad about harboring unreasonable suspicions, however paranoid they might turn out to be.

Still, it didn't mean he shouldn't turn it down a notch, Blair thought to himself as he jumped at the sound of a door slamming down the hall. He was getting strange looks and Jim's mood had deteriorated severely since lunch, mainly because of Blair's jumpiness. Blair didn't know what else to do, though. This entire situation was way beyond his realm of experience, as he was coming to realize with each passing hour.

Glancing up at the clock for the umpteenth time that day, Blair sighed in relief as he realized it was very nearly time to go home. He started packing away his papers, taking care to go slowly to cover his early start. He could feel Jim's eyes slide over to him and heard a muttered, "good idea," before Jim followed suit.

They left the office at the top of the hour, on the dot, and were probably the first ones out of the parking garage by the time they pulled out into traffic. It was something of a relief getting out of the crowded office and away from the public eye and Blair wondered if that was how Jim felt every time he left the office to go back to his solitary apartment. Still, being alone with Jim brought a sense of guilt to the fore thanks to what happened at lunch time. Blair knew he should tell Jim, if at the very least to put the Sentinel on his guard, but he was not looking forward to it.

Blair shot Jim a sidelong glance, trying to scrape up the courage to open his mouth. The man was stiff as ever with the familiar scowl on his face. He certainly doesn't look open to bad news, Blair thought, maybe I should just leave it alone. What he doesn't know won't kill him…or could it? He grimaced to himself as he remembered about the man caught in the park. Jim had made it this far, but no one had been looking for him. What if they actively started looking for Sentinels hiding their abilities? Who am I kidding? If he finds out and then discovers I knew about it he'll think I was covering it up….I need to tell him.

Blair took a deep breath and opened his mouth but couldn't think of how to approach the subject so he closed it again. He turned back to the window, trying to think of an excuse to keep his mouth shut. His conscience came right back with a strong "Tell him."

Jim'll hate me. He'll clam up, won't let me help, maybe even kick me out. I'm still trying to get a little trust from him…

You'll lose whatever trust you've gained if you hide this. Tell him.

Blair watched the cars move around them and the scenery flash past. They were getting close to the apartment, maybe he could wait until they got up to Jim's place.

The longer you wait the harder it'll be, just TELL HIM!

Blair closed his eyes, knowing it was true. Preparing himself with a deep breath and another covert glance to Jim's unwelcoming profile, he opened his mouth. "Hey, Jim…"

"What?" came the sharp response, not very encouraging.

Blair winced but plowed on anyway. "I uh...ran into Dr. Hedrick today…"

There was an audible pause before Jim replied in a half confused, half aggravated, "So?"

Blair realized that the man probably didn't know who Dr. Hedrick was. "Dr. Hedrick works at the university…um, Sentinel medicine, specifically." The temperature took a noticeable dive in the truck cabin but Blair plowed on anyway, determined to get through this, "He mentioned something about finding a Sentinel that had been hiding, you know, like you-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!" Jim stopped him, a heavy note of anxiety in his voice, "Wait a minute! How about starting over at the beginning. Who is this guy?"

Blair took a deep breath, "Like I said, Dr. Hedrick is a colleague of mine at the college. He specializes in Sentinel medicine and does a lot of work with the Sentinel and Guide Center…" He hesitated, not wanting to tell Jim about his earlier discussion with the doctor that may have tipped Hedrick off to Jim's possible existence but not seeing any other choice, as well. "I…uh, I asked him a few questions about Sentinels living without Guides…"

Jim slammed on the brakes, bringing the truck to a dead, squealing stop in the middle of the road. Behind them, cars swerved and blared their horns. Blair cringed as the afternoon traffic stuttered into disarray, curses flew toward them as drivers recovered and skirted around.

"What!" Jim yelled as the truck rocked violently back from the sudden stop. "You told him about me?" Jim thundered, his face a mixture of shock and anger.

"Well, not about you you!" Blair tried to explain, speaking fast, "I asked him a theoretical question about Sentinels surviving without a Guide. It was mostly about a case study at the turn of the century. I didn't even know about you then! I mean, I had my suspicions, but I didn't say anything."

"No, you wouldn't have to since giving them the suspicion, just the idea, is good enough!" Jim countered.

Blair didn't have a response to that, knowing it now. "Uh, Jim, can't we find a better place to talk?" Blair asked instead, noticing a growing line of cars behind them and a renewed volley of horns.

Jim glanced in the rearview mirror, seemingly noticing their position in the road for the first time. With a growl and a quick, murderous glare at Blair he took off, screeching his tires. The remaining drive to the apartment took half the normal time. Thankfully they had already been close. The truck jerked to a halt and Jim was already out of the cab and to the door before Blair could even undo his seatbelt. Blair took a moment to gather the box of reading he brought with him from the university. By the time he made it up to the apartment, Jim had the white noise generators out and placed around the living room. The door being cracked open saved Blair the embarrassment of having to knock for entry. For a moment on the stairs, he thought Jim would lock him out of the apartment rather than wanting to discuss the situation, but no, apparently Jim wanted to discuss the situation at length, if the number of generators and Jim's stormy expression were any indication.

Part of Blair wished he'd been locked out in the hallway.

The door closed behind Blair with a thud, the click of the latch sounding entirely too soft for the finality of the sound. The hum of the generators quickly fell to the background and an uneasy silence descended over the room as Jim paced, arms crossed over his chest and shoulders stiff. Blair set down his box and back pack by the couch and waited. The curtains were drawn and a few lamps lit, making the day seem later than it actually was.

"So let me get this straight," Jim started, his words slow, methodical and measured, "Before you realized exactly what I was, but when you had your suspicions, you went and discussed the possibility of a Sentinel living on their own with this Dr. Hedrick. And then, today, you ran into the same doctor while at the university and he mentioned the topic again by bringing up another Sentinel they found who was trying to hide from Guides. Am I getting this straight?"

"Yes," Blair said, keeping his voice as level and factual as possible. He could feel the tension pouring off of Jim like a blocked up steam engine. Hopefully, if they kept the conversation on the facts and focused on the problem they could avoid any explosions. "He said that they had found a Sentinel who had apparently been hiding from the GSC and avoiding Guides in general for several years. He had a bad reaction to some pesticides in the park. That's how they found him. They're keeping the information quiet for now, but they're beginning to entertain the idea that other Sentinels might be out there in hiding."

"Perfect," Jim growled under his breath. He rubbed a hand hard over his face. "When you first went to talk to him, did he sound suspicious, like he thought you might have found something?"

Blair glanced down at the floor for a moment, "Uh, maybe. He seemed to think I had found something at the department, but I told him it was merely curiosity, just an idea that had come to me during my research."

"And how did he seem this time around? Still suspicious?" Jim asked, voice growing louder.

"Yes," Blair said after a hesitating pause, "He only said it was odd about the timing of my question earlier, but I got the sense that he was suspicious about something."

"What is he like? Would he tell anyone?"

Blair grimaced, Jim wouldn't want any sugar coating. "In a heartbeat," he said, "Dr. Hedrick is of the mind that Sentinels can't survive without a Guide. That they need to be protected from themselves and the dangers in the world."

Jim huffed out a heavy breath, turning from Blair and pacing a few more times. "You can really pick 'em Sandburg, you know that?" he snapped, his voice picking up in speed and volume. "Haven't you ever heard the term 'discretion' before?"

Blair couldn't help trying to defend himself, "Well, at the time I didn't think-"

"No, you didn't think!" Jim interrupted, his voice rising above Blair's, "and I guess that's why you were so nervous today after lunch. After being noticed by one person at the university, you decide to come back to the station and draw even more attention to yourself. You wouldn't last five minutes in covert ops," Jim finished off to himself. Jim's steps were starting to come as fast as his words and he paced across the floor.

"I can't very well make Hedrick forget about the whole thing," Blair said. He was out of his depth.

"No, but you can distract him, point his interest in another direction!" Jim nearly shouted, throwing his hands in the air. He took in a shaky breath, visibly calming himself. It didn't do anything to dispel the tension filling the room or the negative emotions clawing at Blair. "He has no reason to suspect anything. Even if he did have his suspicions from your conversations he can't prove anything. All he's got right now is assumptions and guess work, but that could quickly change if he decides to dig deeper because of your suspicious behavior!"

"I told him it was just background research!" Blair shot back, "I did everything I could think of to dissuade him when I realized. Besides, I had no control over that other Sentinel getting caught. He probably would have forgotten the entire thing if it weren't for that."

Jim glared at him for a moment before turning away and growling, "Maybe." He spun around again a moment later, an accusing finger pointed at Blair. "But you're going to have to grow a pair and get some brains if we're going to keep associating with one another. If something like that happens again don't go around the rest of the day jumping at shadows. Those men I work with are detectives. They didn't get there through their good looks and it's their job to put one and two together!"

"Is that why you've kept everyone in the department away for so long?" Blair blurted, unable to contain the question, "Then, why did you stay there if it's so dangerous?"

"This is not the time for your ridiculous questions, Sandburg!" Jim burst, turning to pace again. "This is a serious situation. I have no problems with anyone being suspicious and all it takes is a few weeks of your merry company and I find myself under more scrutiny than I've been under since before joining the police department! As far as I'm concerned you can forget about my being a willing participant in whatever lab experiments you have planned for the near future."

"We had a deal," Blair said, moving to follow Jim's path across the room. "I don't tell anyone, you throw me a bone. I still haven't told anyone. Like you said he only has suspicions. We don't know if they'll even come to anything! So the deal still stands. I could still tell," Blair threatened, but his heart wasn't in it. He hoped that his rush to preserve what was left of their pact would cover that up in his voice.

"You're assuming I would still be in the area to turn in," Jim countered, turning to face Blair, arms crossed over his chest. He advanced on Blair, making him backup until he was pressed against the door. "You're lucky I'm even letting you continue to stay here." He growled under his breath and spun back around, stalking toward the stairs.

Blair stared at him in disbelief, "You wouldn't really just leave, would you? Run away?"

"There's a difference between running away and a tactical retreat!" Jim threw over his shoulder as he quickly climbed the stairs.

"We're not at war, Jim!" Blair shot back, unable to think of anything else to say.

"Speak for yourself!" Jim shot back before disappearing inside his room.

The declaration was a punch to the gut. Imagine Sentinels at war with their own Guides. The thought made Blair shiver. He almost followed Jim, but held himself back. They both needed to calm down. He didn't want to push Jim too far and risk the man leaving altogether. The situation couldn't be as bad as it seemed, but it would be impossible to make Jim see that now.

"Time," Blair muttered to himself, "Give him time." But time was the one thing they might not have.

TBC…