I.
A mouse scurried across the Pride Rock cave floor… which Scar caught quickly.
"Life's not fair, is it?" he inquired of the vermin. "You see I, I should be king. I would form a kingdom compromised of male lions, yes, very young male lions and we would-,"
"Didn't your mother ever tell you not to play with your sex toy?"
"Oh no look see Zazu you made me lose my orgasm."
"I'm here to announce, that King Mufasa is plugging away! So you better have a good excuse for not joining the orgy this morning." The hornbill was soon to regret speaking.
"Ooo, I quiver with orgies."
"No Scar, don't you look at me so sexily. HELP!"
The bird was caught in the lion's mouth.
"Scar." Mufasa appeared. "Drop him."
With a pop Zazu's bill was out. "Imperfect orgies, your majesty."
Scar deposited the bird on the cave floor, he was no longer turned on.
"Well, if it isn't my inbred brother… descending from your high to mingle with reality."
"Sarabi and I didn't see you at the spawning of Simba."
"That was today?" Scar placed his paws on the cave walls and ran them down.
"Well? Any particular reason why you weren't there?" Mufasa asked.
"No… I just like my cubs a little cleaner."
The King roared as he pounced in front of Scar.
"Are you saying I'm not good enough for you?"
"Temper. Temper. I wouldn't dream of plugging you."
"Pity." Zazu flew to stand between them. "Why not?"
"Well as far as play on words go, I've got all the toys in the world but when it comes to filthy, disgusting incest… I'm afraid I'm at the pedo end of the gene pool…" he left then.
"Oh, there's one in every family sire." The King's Majordomo alit on his shoulder. "Two in mine actually and they always object to perfectly normal family mating." When Mufasa wondered what they should do with Scar, Zazu made the statement of incest intervention.
"Zazu!" A grin hit the lion's face.
"And just think! Whenever he gets dirty, you can take him out and rape him."
Mufasa just laughed.
To be continued…
~ Lavenderpaw ~