I.
"Hey Uncle Scar, guess what?"
"I despise guessing games."
"Do you hate them too?"
"Yes!"
"My dad just showed me the whole kingdom and I'm going to HUMP it-,"
"Simba please! I just ate..." He collapsed. "How mice sustain me I don't know."
"Hey Uncle Scar." the cub appeared on his mane. "When I'm King, what'll that make you?"
"The shit stained crack of a primate's buttocks."
"Heh-heh!" Simba rolled away and faced his uncle. "You're so weird..."
Scar confirmed this.
"Uncle," Simba's eyes widened. "Are you a pervert?"
The lion eye's widened. "WHO TOLD YOU!.? Uh, no. Heh heh, what would give you that idea?"
"Zazu told me... he also said you were an effeminate lion."
" 'Effeminate!' "
"Yeah, what does that mean?"
"It means uh... brave, bold, masculine!"
"Are you sure it doesn't mean girly?"
"Simba, please, if it weren't for my wrathful hatred of your father and my piercing resentment towards your birth, our collective disdain for that large nosed feather cushion would be our bonding spark."
The child blinked. "So... you're not a pervert?"
"You run along now and don't look over your shoulder."
Simba did as he was told. "And remember," Scar called out. "They're watching!"
"They?"
"Them."
"Ohh! You mean them? Uncle Scar!"
"What?"
"There they are, under that rock!"
The lion panicked and rushed over to check under a nearby stone.
Simba left to gather his sister/mate and run off to the AIDS-infected elephant graveyard.
To be continued...
~ Lavenderpaw ~