A/N: Thanks so much for all the reviews. A couple of people mentioned the Christmas tree story and were asking if Puck and Rachel were still Jewish in this story... sorry I didn't explain it before but there is now an explanation in the last chapter's author note. Sorry guys!

Her dad hangs around for a couple of weeks and although she loves her dad, he's driving her crazy. He's hovering at every corner of her life, trying to make friends with her friends and infiltrate every single aspect of her life.

She knows that he's just concerned about her and she doesn't blame him for that. He saw her through the worst time in her life and even though she's trying to move past that, he still sees her as his baby girl who needs sheltering from the world.

That's the main reason she didn't call.

She came to New York to prove to herself that she was strong enough to survive, but there was a part of her that was doing it so that everyone would know that she would move past it.

She was afraid that if she called her dad's, the truth would come spilling out of her mouth. She was afraid that she'd run straight home to Lima – back into the comfort of her bed and the safety and familiarity of her home town.

So she didn't call, and didn't answer their phone calls, because she had to at least pretend that she was going to make it through this. She had to at least pretend because failing at this wasn't an option.

Every time she feels like she's ready to snap and scream at her dad, Puck swoops in with take-away food and old movies to take her mind off of it. She doesn't know how he knows exactly what she needs and exactly when she needs it but after the third time he shows up with Chinese, she decides to stop questioning it.

"My dad's leaving in three days", she says to him one night when he shows up at the dorm room with pizza and a six-pack of beer. He had walked in the door without knocking and Brittany had to bite back a smile before leaving to go out for dinner with Santana.

"I know", he mumbles around his mouthful of pizza.

"I don't know if I'm happy he's leaving or sad because I won't get to see him everyday", she says softly, her pizza sitting in front of her untouched and her beer bottle not yet opened.

"He's your dad, Rach. You can be happy and sad... there's no crime against it"

"I've spent barely anytime with him, and when I did see him, I was wishing that he would just board a plane and go back to Lima. I'm an awful daughter", she whispers, her eyes prickling with tears.

"You aren't an awful daughter", he assures her. "Your dad showed up out of the blue, and even though you love him, it kinda sucks having him around all the time. I know I'd be just the same if my mum showed up and just decided to hang around for a couple of weeks"

"But my dad did so much for me..."

"Most parents do a lot for their kids. Sure, your dad's did more than most, but that doesn't mean you have to always be happy to see them"

"I didn't even call..."

"My dad left when I was eight and my sister was three. He was an alcoholic and he beat my mum but when he left, so did all the money coming into the house. My mum... she worked two jobs just so that we could pay the rent and put food on the table but still... there was never enough money. I didn't go to university 'cos even with the partial scholarships, we didn't have enough money to foot the rest of the bill. Mum... she did the best that she could and I love her for trying so hard, but there are times when I don't answer the phone because I just know that I'll end up saying stupid crap that I'll regret the next day. Sometimes... sometimes it's okay to not answer the phone. Sometimes it's okay to not call"

"How do you always know exactly what to say?"

"It's a gift", he teases. "Now shut up and drink your beer and eat the pizza".

"Thank you Puck", she says softly and he just nods in response as he shovels more pizza into his mouth, ignoring the way Rachel bursts into laughter when she sees him stuffing his face.

"Eat", he grumbles through his mouth, smirking slightly when she smiles and takes a bite out of her pizza. The two of them sit in comfortable silence, laughing at jokes and eating pizza until Brittany bursts back into the dorm room, her hair flying around her face and her cheeks flushed.

"Oh... Puck. Your still here!" she exclaims, her eyebrows furrowing as she tries to figure out what's going on. "I thought you would have left by now!"

"I'm just going now", he explains as he pushes himself off the bed and grabs his jacket. "I'll see you later Rach, bye Britt", he calls as he walks out of their dorm room.

"I didn't mean to make him leave", Britt apologizes as she changes into a baggy sweatshirt and a pair of leggings. "I just didn't realize he was still going to be here"

"It's fine Britt. We were just eating pizza... no big deal"

"Okay good! It's time for girl talk then", she squeals as she climbs into the bed next to Rachel. "I want to tell you all about dinner with San"

She smiles as Brittany snuggles down next to her and she feels like maybe, in time, she could truly be happy.

Her dad leaves the next day and she makes a stupid excuse to get out of taking him to the airport, just so that she doesn't have to take a taxi home by herself.

She skips her morning class, mainly because she doesn't feel like she could sit there for the hour and a half lecture without her show face cracking, and heads to Santana's apartment. She's not sure if Santana's even going to be there but if she's not, she's sure someone else will be. She just needs to vent to someone, and she ignores the voice in her head telling her she needs to vent to Puck.

She opens the door quietly with the key that Santana gave her a couple of weeks ago, trying not to disturb anyone that may have still been sleeping, or at least dozing in their rooms, not needing to rush anywhere.

She hears voices coming from the living room, and she pauses when she realizes that it's Santana and Quinn and that in itself is strange enough. When she hears what they're talking about, she leans against the wall to listen. She knows that she shouldn't eavesdrop but she can't help it. After all, they're talking about her, and Puck, and she has a right to know what they think.

"Brittany called me this morning after Rachel left for her class... apparently Puck was there for hours last night, just hanging out with Rachel and eating pizza and drinking beer", Quinn says quietly. "How long has that been going on for?"

"They're nothing more than friends but the boy is crazy about her", Santana says softly, "and I'd hate to see her knock the floor out from under him. He doesn't deserve that"

"What I did really affected him, didn't it?" Quinn asks, her voice shaky.

"It took him a long time to even begin to recover. He loved you with every single piece of him and what you did broke his heart and forced him to rebuild those walls you had slowly been breaking down"

"I really am sorry", Quinn responds, and Rachel can tell from her spot in the hallway that Quinn's near tears.

"I know and that's why I'm telling you this. There's this light in his eyes when he's around Rachel, one that hasn't been there for a long time. He feels this urge to protect her and I think he'd do anything to make her happy but she doesn't notice. She's oblivious to it all – all the glances he throws her, the way he shifts his body every time she moves and even the way he relaxes when he's touching her. Hell, he doesn't even notice some of the stuff me and Britt notice. All I know is that it's gonna suck when Rachel catches on and crushes all his hopes and dreams. She's his dream girl Quinn – everything he ever wanted – and the fact that he can't have her simply makes him want her more and the fallout from this is going to be epic"

"How do you know it's going to end like that? Rachel may fall in love with him... Puck's pretty charming when he wants to be", Quinn says defensively.

"Rachel isn't ready for anything more than friendship. Deep down, he knows that but I still think he's hoping for more and there will be hell to pay when he finally realizes that he doesn't have a chance"

"Then why don't you save him now, before he gets in too deep?"

"Because he's one of my best friends and this is the happiest he's been in a long time. I don't want to be the one to destroy that, plus you know what they say about the messenger", Santana chuckles in an attempt to change the topic and both her and Quinn fall silent.

Her eyes prickle with tears as she picks up her bag and walks back towards the door, her outstretched hands helping guide her way down the corridor. She can hear Santana and Quinn talking again, this time about something they saw on television a few nights ago, but her head's spinning and she can't make out any words – it's just an undecipherable babble of words.

All she knows is that she needs to find Puck.

She walks to the tattoo parlour, despite the fact that it takes forever, because she really needs to clear her head. Her heart is pounding in her chest and her leg muscles feel tensed and every single step she takes sends a sharp pain shooting through her body.

"Rachel... what are you doing here? Did we have lunch plans or something?" he asks as soon as she walks in the door. He's sitting behind the counter flicking through a magazine of tattoo designs and her heart beat speeds up as she remembers Santana and Quinn's conversation.

"No, we didn't have plans but I was wondering if we could talk... just for a minute or two..."

"Yeah, no problems. I don't have another client for another hour or so... what's up, Rach?"

"Is there someone private we can talk?" she asks, her hands shaking as she sees his face fall. He's clearly concerned about her and that just makes her feel physically ill as she thinks about what she's about to do.

He stands up from his place behind the counter and gestures for her to follow him. He leads her into one of the tattoo booths and sits down on the client's table, leaving her standing awkwardly in front of him, unsure of whether she should sit next to him or sit opposite him or just remain standing.

"Rachel, sit down. You're freaking me the hell out", he orders, pointing to the chair opposite him and waiting until she sinks into the chair before speaking again. "Now, tell me what the hell is going on"

"We can't hang out anymore", she says softly, her eyes trained on the floor.

"What?"

"I said that we can't hang out anymore"

"Yeah, I heard... I'm just waiting for you to explain yourself because this makes no freaking sense", he grumbles, his eyes boring into her.

"It's come to my attention that you have more than friendly feelings towards me and I'm not in a place where I can be friends with someone who wants more than friendship from me", she explains, her eyes still avoiding his.

"Rachel, damn it, look at me", he growls, waiting for her to look up before continuing. "I know that you aren't ready for a relationship. I haven't pushed for anything. All I want is to be your friend, and eat pizza and drink beer while watching crappy movies. I don't want anything more than that"

"But you will... eventually... and I will never be ready for anything more than friendship"

"You think you're gonna die alone? You think you're never gonna be with someone again? If you think that, you aren't the person I thought you were. I get that what happened to you freaking sucked and I know that right now, you can't imagine being with anyone else. I get that, and I'm not asking for anything that you can't give. I want what you've given Santana and Brittany, and Mike and Matt, and hell; you've even given it to Quinn... I just want a chance, just like you gave all of them"

"I can't do that. I'm really sorry, but I can't be your friend when I know that you want something more from me. We will never be anything more than friends, and while you want something more, we can't even be that"

"Rachel..."

"I've got to go Puck", she says softly.

"Rachel..."

"Just don't. I can't do this right now", she calls over her shoulder as she practically sprints out of the tattoo parlour, leaving a very confused and dazed Puck behind her.

A/N #2: Sorry about the delay between updates. I know this chapter isn't the best – I've had a huge case of writers block and this is my attempt to push through it.