I.
"Now wait right here," Scar led his totally unsuspecting nephew out into a butt crack of land.
"Uncle Scar."
"Yes Simba?"
"Are you going to do something that's evil and potentially traumatizing to me?"
The lion made a freaked out face. "Who told you!.?"
"Uh… no one did."
"Then you have nothing to worry about. Oh, and between you and me, you might want to work on that little hump of yours. Hmm?" As he said this Scar gave Simba's rear end a good firm slapping.
"Hey Uncle Scar," the cub called after him. "Will I like being molested?"
"Simba, you're not even close."
"So… you're not going to rape me?"
"Who even told you things like that?"
"Zazu."
"Ugh, of course."
Scar left.
"Little hump, peh!" Simba laid down. He saw a lizard go by and decided against humping it.
…
Wearing nothing but pink lingerie, a lanky brown lion stepped in front of a herd of wildebeest.
"I'm sexy and I know it." He thrust his package into the air.
"I'm sexy and I know it."
Air thrust. Air thrust. Air thrust. Air thrust.
"Wiggle. Wiggle. Wiggle. Wiggle. Wiggle. YEAH!"
The lion – who was Scar by the way – wiggled his pickle around.
"Wiggle. Wiggle. Wiggle. Wiggle. Wiggle. YEAH!"
"Scar's sexy and he knows it!"
Air thrust. Air thrust. Air thrust. Air thrust.
Air thrust. Air thrust. Air thrust. Air thrust.
Air thrust. Air thrust. Air thrust. Air thrust.
"Scar what are you doing!" Zazu appeared; the bird was bitch slapped.
"It really had to be done."
The lion turned from side to side and pushed at the air every time.
Eventually the wildebeest killed Mufasa, Simba was exiled and Scar became king.
To be continued…
A/N: Sorry I'm jumping around (and not updating that much) but I want to get to the good parts.
No, this wasn't it. ;) More to come!
~ Lavenderpaw ~