Here's chapter 15... I hope to actually be able to get some writing done during the week this week - so hopefully more to come very soon.
I don't own Criminal Minds.
Happy reading and enjoy :D
JJ sat in her office rubbing the bridge of her nose where it met her forehead as she attempted to will away the stress headache she had at the moment. Keri Derzmond was safe and her stalker would most likely be going away for quite some time for abducting her. Unfortunately her stress headache wasn't related to the case.
"Hey, everyone's waiting." Emily said.
JJ brushed her fingers across her brow as she looked up at where Emily stood in the doorway to her office, "You should go." she sighed. Going out to happy hour with the team when she couldn't drink would only bring up questions that she wasn't ready to answer yet.
"Keri's going to be okay."
"I know" JJ responded with a nod of her head.
Emily nodded as she studied JJ, trying to figure out what was bothering her friend. "Okay, then what is it? Cause you've been a little off."
"Really, I'm just… I'm tired." JJ replied.
"Okay" Emily said with a nod and then she turned to leave to join the rest of the team for happy hour, "well, go home. Get some sleep." She said turning back to look at JJ as she walked away.
JJ turned and reached into her desk drawer and pulled out a folded piece of paper and then glanced up to make sure that Emily was really gone as well as that the team was heading out for the evening. Once she knew the coast was clear, she unfolded and once again studied the lab results that she'd received back this morning. She took a deep breath. She wasn't sure how to handle this, but she did know someone who would be willing to listen, give her good advice, and help her clear her head so that she could talk to Spence when she got home. She picked up her Blackberry and dialed Will's number.
Will paused in the midst of the box he was packing, wiped his hands off on his jeans, swiped the back of his forearm across his sweaty brow and picked up his ringing cell phone.
"Hey, it's me. Got a minute?"
"JJ are you alright?" Will asked in a concerned voice as JJ did not sound like herself at the moment. She sounded troubled.
"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. I just really need someone to talk to." JJ paused and took a deep breath, "I'm pregnant." JJ said, her eyes growing large at the sound of the words crossing her lips.
"Congratulations!" Will replied with a big smile on his face, happy for his friends.
JJ was silent and squirmed uncomfortably at Will's words. Whether this was good news or not remained to be seen. She was completely unsure how Spence was going to react. She wasn't even sure how she felt about it yet.
Will paused and grew concerned at the silence on the other end of the phone. "This is good news right cher?" he asked softy.
"I… I don't know yet." JJ replied, biting her lip as she talked to Will, still unsure what she thought and how she was feeling about this.
"Okay, well what does Spencer think?" Will asked gently.
"I don't know yet." JJ replied softly, her nerves getting the better of her as her mind tried to come up with every conceivable scenario for how Spence would take the news of his impending fatherhood.
Will sighed. "Well cher, maybe you should tell me what you do know. What are you thinking?"
"I… I just needed to talk to someone before I talked to Spence. I'm worried he's going to freak out." JJ sighed as she leaned back in her black leather office chair. "What am I going to do Will?"
"You and Spencer love each other. Is the two of you having a bebe really the end of the world?" Will asked.
JJ shook her head. "No, but a baby changes everything. We haven't told the team about us yet. We've only been together 6 months. And you met Spence's Mom… she's fantastic… but Spence is terrified that he's going to end up like her someday… that he'll pass schizophrenia on to any children he has. And then there's the Reid affect… and how are we going to deal with a baby? What are we going to do with the baby while we're on cases?" JJ rambled without so much as pausing to take a break.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, cher. Just breathe." Will said. "You love each other. You and Spencer are going to do what's right for y'all to be the family I know you want to be. An' if it's a matter of who's going to watch the bebe when you're out of town on cases, well that's easy. Uncle Will is available to help anytime you need it." Will said with a grin over the phone. "As far as tellin' your team the truth about everything… well you figure that out as you go and cross that bridge when y'all come to it."
JJ smiled and shook her head. "Thanks Will. I just needed someone to vent to and get my own freak-out out of the way."
"You're welcome cher. It's the least I can do considerin' all the times y'all helped me. Let me know if plans need to change as far as me stayin' 'till I find a place." Will said.
"Thanks Will. Talk to you soon." JJ said as she hung up her phone and sat it on the desk and refolded the test results. After a few moments to gather her thoughts she packed up her things and headed home to wait for Spence.
As she sat at home waiting for Spence, she alternated between driving herself nearly crazy and talking sense into herself by reminding herself that she and Spence loved each other and that everything was going to be okay.
Her mind raced circuits back and forth between all of the most extreme possibilities that she could think of. She wondered what she would do if Spence didn't want the baby. With the thoughts of Spence not wanting the baby, came the memory of sitting with Keri yesterday while she described how she had been pregnant while she and Ryan were trying to figure out what they were… her stomach rolled at the very thought. No she was having this baby with or without Spence… she just really hoped that it was with him. She really didn't want to think about a life without Spence.
Then she took a deep breath and reminded herself how much they loved each other. She thought back to Christmas when he'd played with her nieces. She knew he'd been scared and nervous… but he'd done so well with them. She knew how much teasing he'd taken in the past from the team for 'The Reid Effect', but it'd be different when it was his own child. And dealing with a baby that actually existed was much different than thinking about a baby in the hypothetical sense… right?
As JJ took another deep breath to sooth her frazzled nerves just as she heard the sound of a key turning in the lock.
Spence opened the apartment door and paused at the sight of JJ looking at him anxiously. "Hey, are you okay?"
JJ swallowed and nodded, her voice failing her for a moment. Then she patted the couch seat next to her. "Come and sit down Spence. We need to talk."
Spence paused from lifting his messenger bag over his head. He didn't remember any good conversations in his life that had started with the words 'we need to talk'. He rubbed his palms against his khakis nervously as he made his way over to JJ. "JJ whatever's wrong… I'll fix it… just don't break up with me… I love you. I…" Spence pleaded as he turned to look at JJ sure that he was about to lose the most important person in his life… after all he'd never gotten to keep anything good in his life for too long. It seemed to be the way the universe worked for him.
JJ gasped as she realized what her words had sounded like to Spence. "No, baby… I'm not breaking up with you… I love you too." She said resting a hand on his that was gripping the edge of the couch so tightly that his knuckles had turned white. "I think things have been going great… don't you?"
Spence nodded and lifted his eyes from his lap. "Yeah, but you…"
"Sshh" JJ whispered and leaned up to kiss Spence. "Just listen okay?" she paused, waiting for Spence's confirmation.
Spence nodded and JJ continued.
"I love you. I'm not breaking up with you… far from it in fact." JJ said as she looked up at Spence's face and bit her lip to keep from laughing at his confusion. "Baby, I'm pregnant." She said softly and then waited for Spence to respond while she held his hand.
Spence's jaw dropped and he looked like he'd been slapped with a fish for all the shock that was written on his face. For what seemed to be several minutes, his mouth opened and closed as if he was trying to speak, but no words came out.
JJ waited patiently for his genius brain to process the information. God knows she'd certainly needed some time to process what exactly this meant. Truth be told, she was still processing it.
Finally Spence found his voice. "A baby… JJ, what about schizophrenia? I don't want to put a child through that."
JJ blinked back tears. "Spence, I love you and can't imagine my life without you. What if your Mom didn't have you because she was worried about passing on her illness? Where would I be then… what about all the people you've saved?" she asked softly. Then she reached for Spence's other hand and pulled it to her belly. "This is our baby Spence. It's part you and part me… and I can't… I won't…" she trailed off as tears rolled down her cheek.
Spence gasped as he realized what JJ thought he was asking her to do. He pulled his hand free from hers and reached up to wipe her tears away while his other hand remained on her belly. "JJ, I didn't mean… I would never ask you to…" he choked out as he leaned forward and kissed her forehead. Then he chuckled. "I guess it's a good think that I have 9 months to adjust to the thought of a baby… somehow I don't think the baby will be as easily entertained by sleight of hand tricks as your nieces were."
JJ laughed and then scooted closer to Spence and climbed into his lap. "So you're okay with this then?"
"I don't know if okay is really the word… I mean there's so much we need to figure out and…" Spence asked softly.
"How about we call it cautiously optimistic and take it one day at a time for now? We should wait a while before we really tell people anyway, Daddy." JJ said and leaned up to kiss Spence. "I know we have a lot to figure out, but it's going to be okay baby. I love you."
Spence swallowed and nodded. "I love you too" he said softly as he rubbed his hand on JJ's belly.