Sorry I left the story for so long, I didn't intend to, but right now I'm waiting for my new glasses. It's hard to write when your eyes start to hurt after really short amounts of time.
Right, I changed a few words in the "Fate talkes with Nanoha"-part of the first chapter, so Nanoha isn't described as whiny and insecure as she was (for those who've read the original first chapter). I think it's better this way - not only because Tear of Light might have been right with Nanoha being a little OOC, but also because I had an idea about a later chapter where Nanoha really needs to go to pieces. And something like that shouldn't happen TOO often.
Thanks for all the reviews, but they didn't change the fact that the characters and the show still aren't mine... maybe if you send more...?
Naughty daughter, lost mother
"We're back!"
Nanoha smiled, when she heard Fate's voice. She didn't even have time to fully turn around before a child-sized bullet collided with her legs and hugged them.
"Nanoha-mama, we're back!" Vivio squealed and grinned at her mother.
"So I've heard," Nanoha chuckled and tousled her daughter's hair gently. Then she smiled at the blonde woman who had at least taken the time to take off her coat before entering the house. "It's nice to have you back, Fate-chan, both of you. How was your visit with Lindy?"
The Enforcer returned the smile warmly. "Great. Kaa-san was so excited to spend a whole day with Vivio. I haven't seen her that energetic since... well, ever." And she was very happy to see me too, I could tell, she added via telepathy. It wasn't hard to detect the barely hidden guilt. I really should spend more time with her... "By the way, she'd have liked to see you too, Nanoha."
"No, we talked about this, Fate-chan," Nanoha defended herself. "This day was meant for Lindy spending time with her adorable grandchild." And with you. She patted Vivio's head and lifted the girl up, grunting. "You're getting heavy, Vivio," she complained. "Don't grow up so fast. So, did you enjoy the visiting your grandma?"
Vivio nodded. "Un," she affirmed. "Lindy-baasan did cook reeeeeally much because of Fate-mama and Vivio, and she gave Vivio sweets...," at which point Fate winced and Nanoha shot a sharp look at the other woman, "... and then she told Vivio many stories about space and spaceships." Vivio's eyes were glowing. "Mama, can Vivio have a spaceship?"
You let Lindy-san feed her up with sweets again? she asked Fate sternly and her girlfriend scratched her head and grinned apologetically. But when she looked back into Vivio's beaming face, she couldn't help but starting to smile again. Vivio had really changed after moving in with Nanoha and Fate officially after the disbandment of Riot Force 6. At the beginning she had often acted like a toddler, crying often and getting scared of being left alone. There had also been nightmares, although they had decreased over time. But when she realized that her mothers wouldn't suddenly disappear and would, despite Nanoha's occasional strictness, help and protect her, she blossomed. The little girl who had been through so much in her young years had learned to enjoy her life, and this simple fact alone brought joy to the hearts of her mothers too.
"No, you can't have a spaceship... yet," Nanoha added when Vivio made a long face. "But you could watch a movie about spaceships with Nanoha-mama, who was lonely without you." She pressed Vivio against her a little firmer, enjoying the contact with one of the two people who were most important in her life.
Vivio pondered a little, then she nodded, finding the compromise acceptable. "Un," she agreed. Then she patted her mother's head softly. "Nanoha-mama needs not be sad," she told the auburn-haired woman with a serious face. "When Vivio gets a ship, she will not leave mamas for long."
"Awww, that is very sweet of you, Vivio," Nanoha told her and gave her daughter a nose kiss. Sometimes she really asked herself what she had done to deserve such an cute, kind, lovable kid calling her "mama". Saving the planet a few times didn't quite seem to be enough, when she looked into the angelic face in front of her.
Quite a waste of a perfectly fine spaceship though, Fate added inside her mind. Yet the Enforcer counteracted her own snide remark, gently smiling at her godchild and caressing the little girl's hair.
Nanoha looked at the blonde woman in fake annoyance. Be quiet, you, she told the other of the two most important people in her life. You are just as glad as I am that she rather wants to stay with us instead of traveling through the galaxy.
True, Fate agreed. Doesn't mean I will pay for a ship she will barely use. I'll tell her to bug you instead.
Nanoha huffed, but their conversation was interrupted.
"Mama?"
"Yes?" she asked and looked at Vivio. The little girl looked thoughtful.
"Are you and Fate-mama talking in your head again, mama?"
Nanoha shared a short, amused look with Fate. "Yes, we did."
Vivio frowned. "That's not fair," she told them, pouting. "Vivio wants to be in mamas heads too!"
The two women snickered. "You are always in Nanoha's and my head, Vivio," Fate soothed her. "You are the most important thing in our lives. We think about you all the time."
"Really?" Vivio asked her and then looked at Nanoha.
"Really," Nanoha confirmed. "And you'll learn to talk in our heads soon enough. But now... didn't we want to watch a spaceship movie?"
"Un," Vivio said and looked down, signalizing her mother to put her down. "Will Fate-mama watch the movie too?"
"Of course," Fate agreed, grinning. "After all, if I weren't there, Nanoha-mama wouldn't allow you to make comments while watching."
"Hey!" Nanoha protested, arms akimbo. "How can you enjoy a movie if you miss half of it because of giggling and tattling?"
"How can you enjoy a movie if you waste half of it not giggling and tattling?" Fate countered. "Vivio, what do you prefer?"
Vivio smiled at her mothers. "Vivio likes sitting between Nanoha-mama and Fate-mama and Vivio and mamas having fun all night," she announced.
Fate and Nanoha shared a look, then both of them bent down and kissed Vivio on the cheeks.
"You are such a good kid, Vivio," Nanoha said warmly.
"Yes, and your mamas will surely cry when you fly away with your spaceship," Fate added. Vivio looked concerned.
"She's only kidding," Nanoha reassured the little girl while she shot a glare at Fate. "Now sit down, you two, I'll prepare the movie."
As Vivio and Fate sat down on the couch, a photo caught her sight. She had already seen it before. It was the picture of her small mama and big, violet-haired Precia-baasan. Vivio frowned. Fate-mama had already talked with Vivio about the fact that she too had two mothers. She had seen Lindy-baasan a few times, and she liked the gentle teal-haired woman very much.
"Fate-mama?" she asked her blonde mother. "Why do we never visit Precia-baasan?"
This question took the two young women by surprise. They looked at each other worriedly, not really sure how to answer. How do you tell a child with a tragic childhood that her mother, her pillar of strength, the one she trusts to protect her, was vulnerable too?
"Vivio...," Fate mumbled, but she stopped. Vivio looked at her with innocent curiosity... but for Fate it was hard to talk about her genetic mother, even with grown-ups. She had no idea how to tell her daughter that she would never be able to see her third grandmother beside Lindy and Momoko.
"Vivio, Precia and Alicia went far, far away," Nanoha interjected and sat down, enclosing one of Vivio's hands between her own. "We cannot visit them."
"Why did they go away?" Vivio asked. She could sense that her Fate-mama was sad, and a part of her wanted to comfort her mama... but another part really wanted to know why Precia-baasan had gone away.
"Fate-chan's sister Alicia is very, very sick, Vivio," Nanoha told her daughter. She could practically feel Fate's astounded glance on her. She had known that one day they would have to explain these things, although she hadn't thought it would be so soon, and she also knew that Fate didn't want to talk about this time, so she had made up a small story. She didn't feel proud for lying to her daughter, but some details in Fate's relationship with her mother weren't meant for sensible children like Vivio to know. "That's why Precia took Alicia and went far away, because Fate's sister can't be cured here."
"Oh," Vivio said and looked at Fate. The blonde Enforcer was still staring at Nanoha when she suddenly felt a small hand caressing her cheek. She looked down. "Don't worry, Fate-mama," Vivio told the woman with a little smile, "when Alicia is healthy again, her and Precia-baasan will come back. And then we can visit them together."
For a moment Fate kept staring at the little girl that was smiling at her encouragingly, then she slowly returned the smile. She took Vivio's hand and pressed it firmer against her cheek. "Hai, we will do that," she replied quietly. "And the two of them will love you just as much as Nanoha-mama and I do."
Nanoha, sensing that Fate was having a hard time keeping her feelings in check, announced: "So, and now we'll watch the movie. Or do you want to go to bed already, Vivio?"
"No!" Vivio announced, eyes wide open. "I'm is not sleepy at all! I want to watch the starship movie with mamas!"
Nanoha grinned when she heard Vivio using "I" as a reference for herself. The little girl calling herself "Vivio" was a very cute thing, but it was also nice to notice the little things that showed her's and Fate-chan's daughter was slowly growing up. Naturally Nanoha dreaded the thought of Vivio becoming an adult and moving out, she was actually surprised how much she enjoyed being a mother... and being in a solid relationship with Fate. She lovingly looked at the blonde woman. This was another thing Vivio's arrival had changed. Suddenly becoming parents had resulted in them revealing to each other that they shared more than a simple, although deep friendship. Fate had been the one confessing, but it hadn't taken Nanoha long to realize that she shared the feelings her best friend had for her. Fate's face had never looked more beautiful than when Nanoha had told her that she loved her too. The following tender embrace had felt like the cathartic happy ending after a long story... and she loved Vivio all the more for causing it to happen.
"Good," she said while snuggling closer to her daughter and putting her arm around Fate's shoulders. Her girlfriend had still been lost in thought, but the touch made her look up, smile just a little bit sadly at her and cover Nanoha's hand with her own. Nanoha continued. "Then let's enjoy the movie." Like a family.
Vivio was curious.
She didn't think that this was a bad thing. After the events on this big ship, the "Cradle", she knew that she hadn't had a real childhood. It was somehow sad, but all the more Vivio wanted to get to know many things, to make up for it. That her mamas seemed to pleased with her being eager to learn new things, encouraged her even further.
Vivio also wanted to know why people acted the way they did. Like these Cradle-people who made her older and forced her to fight her mama. Nanoha-mama had assured her, that Vivio hadn't done anything wrong to deserve that, but she also wanted Vivio to forget about these people. Vivio didn't want that. She wanted to understand why they were "evil", like her mama said. Why they made her and Nanoha-mama sad.
Like Fate-mama was sad right now. Vivio had seen it when she had asked about Precia-baasan. Fate-mama had tried to hide it, but Vivio was good seeing sadness in people's faces. Maybe because she had been sad for so long before she had met Nanoha-mama and Fate-mama. She wondered. Were there any evil people who had made Fate-mama sad? Did Vivio do something bad? Or did Precia-baasan make Fate-mama sad by going away? But Precia-baasan was Fate-mama's mama – mamas didn't hurt their children. Vivio knew that after she had gone to bed, her mamas would talk. Nanoha-mama didn't like Fate-mama being sad, so they would stay awake and talk. But Vivio hadn't gone to her room. Right now she was hiding and listening to her mamas.
She didn't think that was a bad thing. If she knew what had made Fate-mama sad, she could comfort her mama better if it happened again. Vivio didn't like her mamas being sad either, so she tried very hard being a good girl and making them happy. And to be a good girl she had to stay and listen to what her mamas were saying. Even if she was getting a bit sleepy now.
"Fate-chan...," she heard Nanoha-mama's quiet voice. "Are you angry at me? Because of what I told Vivio?" Vivio frowned. Nanoha-mama and Fate-mama answered Vivio's questions all the time. Why would Fate-mama be angry about that?
"No, I'm not," Fate-mama answered, also with a quiet voice. "You did the right thing, Nanoha."
"You know why I did it, right?" Nanoha-mama asked. "Because I think it's too soon..."
"I know," Fate-mama interrupted her. "I told you, you are right. I'm not mad at you." But Vivio didn't believe her. Fate-mama's voice was tense. Why was she angry? Vivio didn't like this.
"I think you are," Nanoha-mama said after a pause. "Come on, tell me what I need to do to be forgiven, Fate-chan." Vivio heard somebody moving on the couch. Nanoha-mama's voice suddenly sounded hoarse. Had she caught a cold? "Let me make it up to you..."
"Nanoha!" Fate-mama sounded slightly panicked. Was there anything wrong in the living room? "Don't! Vivio may not be asleep yet!" A sigh. But then Fate-mama's voice became warm again. Vivio was relieved. She didn't like people fighting... especially her mamas. "I'm really not mad at you, Nanoha. I probably would have told Vivio the same thing, if I had been able to think. It just... made me think about that time again."
Another pause. Nanoha-mama giggled. "It's sweet, Fate-chan," she said. Her voice was normal again. So she hadn't got a cold. "You've hold back your feelings quite some time... and yet you still wouldn't act on them because you fear Vivio could hear us." Nanoha-mama's voice was very warm, like when she was talking to Vivio. "You are a great mother, Fate-chan." That was true! But what feelings were they talking about?
"You are a great mother too, Nanoha."
They stopped speaking. Vivio was getting more and more tired and she considered going to bed. Fate-mama didn't seem to be sad anymore, so maybe her mamas would go to their room too soon. But just as she wanted to sneak to her room, Nanoha-mama started talking again. This time her voice was serious.
"Fate-chan... I'm surprised that you've forgiven Precia. It's amazing."
"It's not. It's not like I hated her, Nanoha." Hate? Vivio yanked her eyes open. Why would Fate-mama hate Precia-baasan? She was her mama! But, of course, she said she didn't. Nevertheless Vivio didn't like this talk. "You know, in the end she wasn't scary anymore... just sad. Alicia still not awake, she just... left. Wherever she is now, she is alone. I feel sorry for her."
"After all she did, you still forgave her. You really are an amazing person, Fate-chan," Nanoha-mama said in a soothing tone of voice. "Don't you think we should have told Vivio the truth?"
Truth? Nanoha-mama... had lied to her? Vivio's heart fell, like then when this Cradle-woman told her that Nanoha-mama had taken her real mama away from her. What did that mean?
"Nanoha..."
"What if she finds out, Fate-chan?" Nanoha-mama continued. So she didn't really want to lie to Vivio, right? Somehow that soothed her. "What if she gets mad at us for lying to her?" I'm a good girl, Nanoha-mama! Please tell me! I won't be mad, I promise! "What if...?"
"Nanoha, stop! We can't tell her!" Fate-mama commanded. Vivio's eyes started to get wet. Why didn't Fate-mama want to tell her the truth? What had Vivio done wrong? Fate-mama sighed. "She's still too young. Vivio only knows that having am mama is good and having no mama is painful." Of course she knew that! "She wouldn't understand, Nanoha. She wouldn't understand that sometimes a mother hurts her child." Vivio put her hand on her mouth. Fear crept into her heart. Mamas couldn't hurt children. Nanoha-mama had saved her from the Cradle-people! "She wouldn't understand that sometimes a mother leaves her daughter, because the girl didn't do something she was told to do."
"So it still hurts, Fate-chan?" Nanoha-mama asked quietly. "You are still hurting because Precia abandoned you?"
Precia-baasan... left Fate-mama? What did that mean? Would Nanoha-mama and Fate-mama disappear too? No, they said they would never leave Vivio! But if Vivio did something bad, if she did something her mamas didn't tell her to do... would they leave then? Would Vivio be alone again? Quietly, very quietly Vivio sneaked into her room. No, she would be a good girl, she decided while she wiped away some tears from her face. She loved Nanoha-mama and Fate-mama. She didn't want them to leave her ever. She just needed to be good. She just needed to do what her mamas wanted her to do, then they would stay a happy family. With this thought in mind she finally fell into a fitful sleep.
"Yes, sometimes."
Fate was still sitting on the couch, Nanoha next to her, holding her hand. She was glad Vivio was asleep. This would have been a pretty disturbing topic for the little girl. But for her... well, she and Nanoha would have talked about this eventually, so why not now? It was amazing to finally be with her love, without hidden feelings and secrets. She would not risk that by keeping things in the dark.
"Sometimes it still hurts a bit," she continued and squeezed Nanoha's hand. She especially loved those big, expressive blue eyes of her girlfriend... those eyes that showed Nanoha's compassion so well. "When I think about how Kaa-san rejected my confession... my love for her. When she chose to rather disappear with Alicia than staying with me. When I was still a kid, this thought sometimes nearly crushed me."
"Fate-chan...," Nanoha whispered. Fate smiled. She knew exactly that Nanoha was thinking that she had to take away Fate's pain. What the auburn-haired girl didn't get was that it wasn't necessary. Not anymore. Still, it was that side of Nanoha, the part that wanted to help anyone no matter how dangerous it was, that had attracted her to the girl in the first place.
"It's okay," she assured her girlfriend, putting her hand on Nanoha's neck and her leaning her forehead against Nanoha's. Eyes closed, she enjoyed the feeling of the other girl being so close to her. "In the past, there was this hole inside of me, the hole Kaa-san left... but it has been filled. It's hardly hurting anymore."
"What do you mean, Fate-chan?"
She grinned. Nanoha was the most compassionate, brave, beautiful woman she had ever met. But nobody could deny that she sometimes was a little dense. "You filled it, Nanoha. First your friendship, then your love gave me back what Kaa-san took from me." She leaned back and stared into Nanoha's eyes lovingly. "It may sound a bit cliched, Nanoha... but you truly made me whole again, when you accepted my feelings."
The other girl smiled... one of her dazzling smiles that always made Fate ask herself why it had taken her so long to confess. "I didn't only accept your love, Fate-chan," she whispered. "I return it wholeheartedly. I don't know why it took me so long to realize how much I need you."
"Maybe because you are... correction: were a naive, innocent maiden," Fate mused as her hand began to massage Nanoha's shoulder. She grinned.
Nanoha pouted, although the slight blush on her checks lessened the effect. "Was not!"
"Well, not anymore." Fate's hand wandered to Nanoha's cheek, squeezing it softly, and continued to her girlfriend's lips. "Now you have me... and I will do my very best to corrupt you."
"Really?" Nanoha breathed, nearly incidentally licking Fate's finger. Fate shivered, but returned Nanoha's tempting stare. "What about Vivio?"
"Well, she's probably asleep now," Fate countered. Nothing existed anymore except Nanoha... who was anything but innocent right now. And Fate loved it. "And if she's not, then she is a very... naughty... girl..."
She gasped when Nanoha suddenly crossed the distance between them, leaving only millimeters between their lips. "How naughty?" Nanoha demanded to know.
Fate's hand buried itself in Nanoha's hair. "Very... naughty," she managed to say, before their lips met. After that they stopped talking altogether.
Alright, Nanoha and Fate going so far with Vivio in the house might not be completely realistic, I don't know... but I couldn't resist. There will be a second part to this chapter of course, I won't leave Vivio in this state.