June

There are things, Alicia has realised, that are really good about people thinking you're sleeping with the boss. She had always thought of it as a dirty accusation, had only seen all the bad that had come along with that association – not getting credit for her own advancements within the firm, for example – but she's beginning to think there are aspects she had overlooked.

A coup has been brewing at Lockhart & Associates ever since Will had been suspended: David Lee, Julius Cain, both vying to take over as Diane's new partner; third and fourth years all trying to figure out the new pecking order; equity partners getting nervous about the future. All of it makes for a, if not always vicious, strained work environment. And Alicia doesn't like it. Sure, she can be competitive and intense with the best of them, but she could never be completely cold-blooded. Not like Will could.

Because there is an aspect of Will's personality that is very cutthroat. It's a part of him that gets compartmentalised so that, when needed, he is willing to do whatever it takes to win. He can be ruthless and people can see that. There's that boyish charm, but then there's also an underlying don't-fuck-with-me attitude that others have ample reason to take very seriously.

She hadn't realised it at the time – and Will probably hadn't either – but because of their close connection, people hadn't dared to fuck with her either. Will had, consciously or not, looked out for her. And then there had been the fact that she could count on him to back her up ninety percent of the time.

There are no such certainties now.

Alicia knows that she's good at her job: the law comes naturally to her, and she's never had to try as hard as others in order to perform just as well or better. This kind of gift drags up feelings of resentment and jealousy in people. It always has. Fortunately, in her current job, these feelings had gone well concealed over the years in the face of her tacit ability to persuade one of the name partners. Now, however, with Will out of the picture and the awareness that things are changing, Alicia is no longer granted that kindness.

In that moment, as she's lying on the couch with Will – head on his lap, with his fingers stroking through her hair – she recalls the amount of people who have offered her jobs over the past three years: jobs with higher pay and better hours. Jobs she had never considered taking because she had pledged her loyalty to Lockhart/Gardner. Lately she's wondering if it had really been her loyalty to Will, and just Will, that had stopped her. After all, Will had helped her when she'd needed it; he'd been a friendly face in the type of job where true friendly faces are hard to come by; and it certainly hadn't hurt that it gave her a valid reason to see him every day. She'd gotten to spend time with him again, and she'd realised just how much she had missed him.

These days there are no professional excuses to be made as to why she has to see him every day. There is only the personal between them now. And that feels okay; it feels more honest.

"What are you thinking about?" he asks, interrupting her thoughts.

"Nothing," she says, and then knowing how bad that answer sounds, "Just work. You know."

He nods. "Well, we can watch something else, if you want."

She laughs and pats his hand. "That's very big of you to offer—" he's watching some big sports play-off thing "—but I wouldn't want to deprive you."

"I mean it!" he protests.

She places a kiss on his inside wrist. "I know you do." She grins. "That's why I'm saying no."

"I'll make it up to you," he says, trying to sound all seductive.

"Hm," she hums, a twinkle in her eye, "I'm looking forward to it."

"No further questions." Alicia turns away from their last witness and spots a familiar face walking into the courtroom, trying his best not to draw attention. Will slides into a bench on the defence's side three rows back. He knows that she's noticed him, but he's trying his best not to distract her with his sudden appearance during the trial.

Once the judge gives out instructions and dismisses the jury, Will gestures that he will wait for her outside. They are maybe three minutes apart in leaving the courtroom, but somehow when Alicia finds him, Will's already gotten into a clearly uncomfortable conversation with Peter in the hallway. She overhears them as she approaches.

"Are you here to observe the trial?" Peter asks, transparently aware that Will's less interested in the case and more interested in the trial's defence attorney.

"I am," Will answers.

"You miss court?"

"I have other things taking up my time."

"Really?" Peter says, "Other things?" His eyes are sharp and suspicious.

"Other things." Will is inches away from dangerous territory. "Other people besides clients."

It would be almost laughable how cool these two grown men are trying to be, if it weren't so painfully tense. Alicia steps in before it can get any worse. "Hi Will," she says, "Peter."

She and Peter have regressed, much less amicable than they were those months right after Grace's disappearance. It has a lot to do with that conversation in her kitchen during Will's grand jury investigation – the first time Peter had gone and actually questioned her about Will – and it hasn't improved since. Alicia had told him nothing was between them then and maybe Peter had believed her, but if the current look on his face is any indication, Peter is right back to assuming – correctly, though that truth has never mattered to him – that she and Will's relationship is on again.

"Alicia," Peter greets. He eyes the way Will touches her forearm in acknowledgement.

"Zach is driving directly to your place after school," she says, going for the only agreeable topic between them, "Grace will be at a friend's house, but I told Zach to pick her up afterwards so if you can make sure he doesn't leave Grace taking the El like the last time."

Peter nods. "'Course." He checks his watch, just an excuse to make a smooth exit, and says. "I'll talk to you later, Alicia." He and Will exchange a nod and then he's gone.

"We bumped into each other," Will explains, because how else would he have managed to get himself into that situation. "Literally."

"I was going to ask."

"You think it's going to be quick deliberation?"

She shakes her head. "No."

"So you have time to grab something to eat?"

Her smile is his answer and they start to walk out of the courthouse. He wants to take her hand, she can tell, but he holds back. They both hold back because they have to. She's starting to think maybe she doesn't want to anymore.

He's tracing her collarbone with his index finger as he lies, propped up on his side, above her.

"You miss it, don't you?" she asks, staring up at him with clear green eyes.

"What?" he asks, trying to play dumb.

"Work. Being a lawyer."

"Sometimes."

"You're bored. I can tell."

"Well, I'm not bored of you," he says, attempting to change the path of this conversation.

It doesn't work. Of course it doesn't. Alicia sits up, the sheets falling and exposing her for a second before she reaches down and grabs his earlier discarded t-shirt from the floor. "So you don't get distracted," she says, putting it on.

"You're half-naked in my bed," he responds, leaning into her, "It's a little too late."

He gets the Alicia-look for that comment. "I'm serious, Will," she says, "Talk to me."

"About what? I'm suspended." Will knows he sounds exasperated, and yeah, he might be getting a little bored with all of this free time, but there's nothing he can do about any of it. So he's trying to think about what it felt like for those first few weeks, when the idea of sleeping regular hours, getting to go to the gym, and not feeling bad about turning off his cellphone had been novel.

"And I'm just trying to understand how you're feeling."

"That's ironic, you know," he replies. "You gave up the law for a hell of a lot longer than I have."

She nods. "Yes. But I've also changed since then."

You haven't changed that much, he wants to tell her. In his office that day, when he had been trying to decide the fate of his future, he had sat there in front of her and he had known. He would take the six months. It'd be the right thing to do. Alicia had been – is still– his moral compass, because no matter what, she had always tried and will always try to do right by her family and the people she loved. He had traded places with her that day because in order to do right by her, he had to pay for the consequences of his actions.

"Look, Alicia," he says now, "Everything's fine. Really."

She shakes her head. "Will—"

"—stop," he cuts in, "You're asking because you think it's your fault. You just feel guilty."

Alicia pulls away immediately. She goes so far as to swing her feet off the bed, ready to get up and away from him.

"No." He grabs her arm. "Alicia, don't."

"Why not?" She's ticked.

"You wanted to talk. So, let's talk."

"I don't feel guilty, Will."

"Yes, you do."

"Are you telling me I should feel guilty?"

"No."

"Then what?"

"This wasn't your fault, Alicia. The grand jury, my suspension, it's not your fault."

She wrenches her arm away from him. "I know that."

"No," he presses, "you don't."

"Stop it, Will."

"Alicia—" he slides up behind her "—you didn't make me take money from a client's account. No matter how I ended up here, grand jury or not, it doesn't excuse the fact that I did wrong. At the end of the day, what I did was a disbarable offence. And I'm paying for it with this suspension."

Her shoulder sags. "This only started because of me. Because you and I… because Peter…" she's frustrated with herself. "This never would have happened if it hadn't been for me."

"Maybe," he concedes, "but then we wouldn't have happened either. And that outcome would be worse. Much, much worse than this one."

She turns around to face him again. "Will, I'm sorry." Her voice is a whisper.

He cups her face with his hands, brushes his thumb across her cheek. "How many times do I have to say that it's not your fault before you'll believe me?"

Alicia shakes her head, looks down. He backs up until he's leaning against the headboard, pulling her with him so that she's curled up into the vee of his legs. When she finally looks up, her eyes are glassy with tears.

"It's my fault, too," Will says, brushing back pieces of her hair.

"Will, no."

He nods, sweeps his fingers over her lips in an effort to quiet her protests. "I tried to protect you, Alicia. And I failed. I never meant for you to get involved with the grand jury investigation."

She takes his hand away, entwines their fingers together. "That wasn't you. That was Wendy trying to do whatever it took."

"Right," says Will. He pauses, weighing how much he wants to reveal, but one look into Alicia's bright eyes and— "Kalinda and I tried to distract her – Wendy – with the McDermott case, but it didn't work."

"What are you talking about?"

"Wendy figured it out anyway." He squeezes their clasped hand. "I didn't want her to get to my real vulnerability."

"Your real…"

"You."

.

Oh. Oh. That's it, isn't it?

Many things have brought Will Gardner down: gambling, bad risk management, an unhealthy lust for winning… but there's only one thing that could really make him fold like a deck of cards.

His ultimate natural weakness, and Wendy Scott-Carr had exploited it.

Oh, that's dangerous.

She's perched on her knees now, staring at him, her voice a whisper. "You'd give up everything for me, wouldn't you?"

He nods once, certain. "Yes."

.

.

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A/N: This chapter was a bit heavier on the emotions and angsty on the issues, but in order for a realistic happy ending, I think these discussions need to be had. Hope it didn't turn anybody off and that it read okay to you all!

Please review and let me know.