Government Hooker – Kigo

I replied to Comments at the end of this. FYI There.

Yes, I always respond one way or another, so please, go ahead and comment all feedback helps me.

Alrighty now, I'm actually surprised anyone found any interest in this to be quite honest.

Note: This chapter just seems to be a bit off, I just completely took a different route then what I had previously intended to.

Why? Cus I freaking can, is why.

Chapter 2: "Douches and Frizzy Hair"

The mercenary groaned in frustration, the session last week with the redhead wasn't enough, she needed something more. Something to drown out the infernal pleas of her body, this was maddening, she felt like one of the many crack heads running around; addicted to the rush, only to find out her supplier has been arrested. That was figuratively speaking, of course, but Shego would kill to have a supplier, just to know that she could get what her body craved at any time was a scandalous thought.

Here she was, the most dangerously powerful woman in the world, gripping both sides of her sink, teeth gritted together in aggravation. Shego looked into the mirror; the stress was getting to her, as she ran both hands over her face she noticed the dark circles under her eyes were coming to look like bruises. Her once proud smirk was currently a void, indifferent line, lips hardly lush at all anymore and now small wrinkles shown themselves around the corners of her mouth. Once seductively smooth ebony hair was frizzy, the ends of the shafts beginning to split, she didn't know the last time she had any work done on it.

Shego stopped her evaluation of her body right then and there, before she lost what self worth she still had left, not that the amount was something to brag about. The thief hung her head, looking down at the sink, and at the same time not looking at anything at all. A long aspirated sigh escaped her lips, looking back up into the mirror she smirked for the first time in months.

~i~

The Director's chair was quite comfy, Italian Leather with goose down stuffing, the woman has class, I'll admit. Too bad she'll never sit in it again; my CrewlGuards would never allow it. Yes of course there is the chance of munity but the rookies, contrary to popular belief, aren't that stupid. I single handedly wiped out almost half of Global Justice's officers in under thirty minutes, and I can easily do it again.

Besides this time I'll have help, with the group I've assembled to lead my ranks, I simply call them my Crew; hence CrewlGuards. Well, I thought it was clever, nevertheless, Anne agrees as well; if she says its good then I'll accept it. I'm glad that I spared Possible's family, as I've said before they have been a major help with gaining control of other countries. I now stood up, casually strolling through the director's office and to the balcony, observing the new recruits running through an obstacle course in the training grounds below.

It's quite odd, even though the Villian Community knows that I have made it big they have yet to even come begging for work. I've made it quite hard for any of them to actually work now, ordering my soldiers to promptly shoot-to-kill any law-breakers, no point in spending my new 'inheritance' having to feed and clothe some prisoners. So I guess you could call my actions budgeting, as extreme as that may be.

I'm becoming suspicious of plans for an uprising from them, hell I haven't even had Drakken wondering why I went off and did this without him. That in itself is quite a shock, he used to have a fit when I would leave for an hour and not inform him; the man is quite a child. No, the man is a bloody child; he still drinks Coco-Moo in his footsie pajamas while watching some show with a walking sponge or rather.

It doesn't matter though; with the Tweeb's help my soldier's gear as been upgraded from mere tinker toys to actual guns, in my opinion. Mandatory to have a fully automatic assault rifle with a few goodies attached to it, like a mini-grenade launcher, night vision scope with the ability to zoom in on a target more than a mile away. The ammo has had an improvement as well; bullets are being made from the same type of metal that had originally impaled me in the electric transformer accident.

The bullets by themselves would do no more damage than a toddler with a baseball bat by his father's groin. But when the bullets are fired from the new rifle a drop of plasma, extracted from myself and massed produced, falls onto the bullet and starts to react with it. The reaction causes the bullet to be able to eat through most armor and poisons the target, as an added bonus.

Overall my army is armed to the teeth and actually knows how to use their gear. Also with my wide range of recruits from various countries I'm getting a variety of skills, I must say, though, I'm quite impressed by the archers I've acquired from Romania, never would have known that kind of talent could come from such a place.

My pondering came to an end as Will Du, yes the asshole himself, came sprinting towards me almost falling over the railing to the balcony as he slid to a stop. I turned to face him; his uniform was charred and looked to have a few holes in the bullet-proof liner. His face was black, smeared with ash and what looked to be dirt.

"So Mr. Douche, why have you come to bother me?" I inquired, frowning at his sudden intrusion.

He returned the frown when I mispronounced his name, "Its Du, Ma'am. " he started before quickly brushing off the dirt from his uniform, "I have come to inform you that a squad of rebels have forced their way into the base and are now trying to retake it."

I scoffed, "You seriously came up here to tell me that? Come now Douche, you've handled worse adversaries in the break room."

"True as that may be, I've never had to fight Kim Possible before, and it seems her tech boy Wade has upgraded her battle suit, none of our defenses are working to stop her." He said still dusting himself off, it was apparent the boy didn't like to do dirty work.

I raised an eyebrow at his statement, "Kimmie's here? Isn't that convenient?"

He looked at me, quite puzzled, "Convenient? How is that convenient? Ma'am nothing is working, not even our plasma cannons. If our cannons cannot penetrate the fabric of her suit then yours couldn't either."

I just chuckled at the boy, "Call a in a Code Green, and seal all entrances of the base shut. No one comes in, nor goes out; besides myself and my Crew of course."

The boy saluted before sprinting off from wherever he came, barking orders into his radio as he went. I took one last look from the balcony before returning inside, starting to pack up my few belongings. I was glad that I had not officially moved into the base yet, it would have been a pity to destroy all my things.

I was used to this, though, barely getting somewhere before having to pack up and travel on again or to just leave it to burn. But now that Kimmie would be out of the way this will be the last time I'll ever have to do this, besides it was starting to get annoying. Every temporary home I would move into, she would come along and blow the thing up, wasn't that a waste? I think so, why not just destroy whatever Drakken had thought up instead of doing in the whole fucking base?

The girl was odd.

~i~

The woman stood behind Shego carefully working to thin the mercenary's hair, "H-how are you today, Empress?"

"Don't even try to small talk me; I'll have none of that nonsense." Shego replied, earning a twinge of fear from her hairdresser, continuing to file her glove's claws.

Most people would think that the woman's nails grew at a faster rate, due to how often she could be found filing them. But in reality it was her glove's claws that needed to be constantly sharpened, it was a common misconception. Global Justice had developed the claws for her gloves; when she had been a superhero for Team Go.

The claws are made from a type of metal that acted like regular fingernails, so it was regenerating the lost material. This way if the tip of a claw was to chip at one point the metal wouldn't need to be replaced. The substance is the predecessor of Kim's battle suit regenerative technology.

Shego extended each finger, carefully inspecting each claw, if one was too dull it would not cleanly slice through, causing it to get stuck. She looked into the hairdresser's mirror, smirking at what she could see; all of her flaws from the morning were gone. Martha Malsien was a miracle worker when it came to appearances, she could take anyone off the street and turn them into a stunning creature.

That was why Shego came here; it was nice to be able to leave her Penthouse for something other than politics or to settle down some half-baked civil war. Often she did wonder if the brawlers were half-baked themselves when they started, always the same groups fighting it out but each time with bigger numbers; it was like trying to stop children from killing each other, in a literal sense. She shrugged off the thoughts, today was her day, the world can go to hell for all she could care.

Although the world was quite the opposite now thanks to the mercenary. Due to the harsher punishments crime was at an all-time low, almost nonexistent in some parts of the world. Like in Go-City, where Shego currently resided, no one would be foolish enough to commit a crime. For the moment all was calm and right with the world, and things seemed to be going to stay that way.

A noisy commotion suddenly started up outside the small building, Shego raised her gloved hand to signal Martha to stop as she turned her head to the large windows at the front of the building. One of her Crew, looking to be Will, was hitting something with his truncheon repeatedly while a large group of civilians had formed a circle around the officer and his target. The mercenary sighed, before slowly getting up, walking over to the door, opening it and leaning out to see what was happening.

Shego raised an eyebrow; Will was beating a girl, while she held onto a loaf of French bread, most likely from the grocer's beside the hairdresser's shop. He ordered the girl to let go of the loaf, but she wasn't listening, how could she? The mercenary was reminded of herself in her earlier years, she had started small stealing apples or the like, so she knew it was awfully hard to comply when you're at risk of getting your head bashed in.

The group of civilians started to back away as Shego exited the Hairdressers, curlers on one side of her head, while the other was still a frizzy mess. She waited for the opportunity to strike, and promptly did as Will paused, raising his truncheon over his head to deliver a final blow. She lashed out, grabbing the truncheon, proceeding to smack Will on the back of the knee, causing him to go down.

Shego lunged forward, holding the truncheon across his neck pulling his head back against her shoulder, "The hell do you think you're doing, Douche?"

Will somewhat struggled against his Empress before giving up, "She stole that bread right in front of us, what was I to do? Let her simply take it?"

"Yes." The thief replied, pulling the truncheon towards her, making it push against his throat more, "If I am not mistaken thanks to DNAmy's work on plants our entire food crop has quadrupled in the past five years. So yes, let her take it, there is more than enough to go around."

The officer was speechless, she did have a point food prices were at an all time low and there was often surplus. He didn't reply, partly due to the fact that his windpipe was being crushed, and he had nothing to add. Will breathed a sigh of relief when the truncheon was removed from his throat; his moment of contentment was gone soon after he was struck in the temple, slouching over unconscious.

Shego threw the truncheon down beside the officer before turning to the girl, who was still in shock. Or maybe it was fear that was keeping her glued to that spot on the ground, whatever it was it didn't look good on her. The girl's face was bruised, but she wasn't bleeding from any place besides a small nick on her check. Well, the thief assumed that was blood, it could just be a dirt smear, the girl was quite filthy.

"So Blondie, are we just going to stare at each other all day or are you going to stand up and scamper off to wherever the hell you came from?" she bluntly asked, making a name for the girl based off her hair. The girl just stared at her, seeming to at a loss of how to respond to the question, before unsteadily getting up and stumbling off down the sidewalk, French bread in hand.

The mercenary shrugged, a hobo was of no concern of hers, she knew that if she was to make an exception for one street rat then others would follow. Shego turned around, motioning for someone to remove Will from the street, no point in making someone late for work if they were to hit him. As she walked back into the salon Martha promptly started to work on her before she could even sit down.

~i~

Martha did a marvelous job on me; by god I look even better than I did five years ago, if that's even possible. I feel much better now, good bye Ugly Fucker, hello Sexy Bitch! I do believe this is a cause for celebration, but I'd like a date though… Isn't much fun to be alone all the time, maybe that redhead might like to come.

What was her name, anyways? Doesn't matter I guess, I can just go down to her corner, she better be there or the slut's on my Shit-List. That's a pretty long list already, being the world's population is already on it. Why do people annoy me so badly? It has to be the ignorance that radiates off of them.

Is ignorance contagious? I hope not, or we're all fucked.

"Sammie! Go to Sanderson Street, by McAlister's Warehouse." I ordered my driver.

Although I'd rather drive myself, due to security purposes and the fact that one way or another I always seem to get plastered out of my skull, my guards have convinced me to let one of them drive instead. Not that I hardly mind, it lets me have more freedom that way and an extra beer or two. It's not that I'm a slobbering glutton that literally has to have an IV full of alcohol to even make it through the hour; it's more of a time that I can have fun.

Fun. I hardly know the meaning of the word anymore, if I had known this was the price of taking over the world I would have happily sat in prison cell at Global Justice Headquarters. Perhaps I can get someone to make me a time machine, screw the DeLorean though; I want something sporty like a Ducati. Yes, a black Ducati with green neon lights acting as pinstripes down the side of it.

I quickly wrote down the specifications for my new motorcycle, putting away my note book as the bulletproof limousine came to a stop in front of an old abandoned warehouse. No movement was detected in or around the structure, I was about to get out and investigate when a large muscular African American man came walking out of the building and towards the limousine.

"Wha'cha wan'? We g'ts no gurls for joo!" he informed me and my driver, waving his hands to motion us on.

I rolled down my window as he stood right outside the door going on with his rant, "Joo h't-shot bidness bast'rds keep 'urting muh girls! No more of dat! So you go n'w!"

With an amused laugh I forced open the door, knocking the man to the ground, dumbfounded. He didn't seem to realize who I was still, as he jumped up and took a swing at me, which I easily dodged. I recoiled the next time he struck out, grabbing his hand, turning around and throwing him to the ground. Some of the girls started to walk outside to see what the commotion was, only to start to retreat back inside when they saw that I could be their potential customer.

The man got to his feet yet again, eyes wide as she seemed to piece together what he had done. Immediately he began to apologize in a jumbled mess, going down to his knees, literally pleading for my forgiveness. I put on a serious face, looking to the man's eyes, before scoffing and walking inside the warehouse; the man quickly followed.

He was the first to speak, "W'at is the Emp'ess lookin' fur tod'y? Iz of got som' new gurls this'in week."

"You know I'm looking for a redhead, that's all I ever get here." I stated, looking around at the cots evenly spaced and made up throughout the warehouse.

"I waz t'inkin' youz-ah 'ike sum of muh 'ther gurls, cus youz done went t'rough all muh reds." He simply shrugged, before unlocking a door and leading me inside.

I hadn't realized that I had gone through so many girls, but then again not too many redheads were stupid enough to come into this city. About once a month we have a group of vigilantes bringing in a redhead and claiming it is Kim Possible trying to get the billion dollar reward. I don't blame them though, if I was in their position I would have turned in my own brother, preferably Hego, if it meant I even had a chance to get that reward money.

So I guess you could say that redheads were an endangered species around these parts, much to my disappointment I didn't like reusing them it wasn't sanitary. Then again picking a prostitute every other week couldn't be safe; there is the minor detail that my guards always seem to forget when they get onto me about my habits. My body can easily fend off any common disease that most people would have to worry about, much to my appreciation.

We approached the division of the warehouse that was sectioned off by multiple hanging sheets for the girls to relax in until it was time to go out about town. Inside the make-shift room was probably thirty-five girls sprawled out on various pieces of furniture and rugs on the ground. The most reoccurring hair color was brunette, such a boring color to me; everyone is a brunette it seemed nowadays.

Off to one side was the group of redheads, I could easily recognize them all, I guess you could call me a regular. There was one new addition that I could see, a blonde girl; she was facing away from me, reading a book it looked like. A predatory grin slowly carved its way into my face as I made my way over to her, and eventually standing right behind her.

"Do blondes really have more fun?" I teasingly asked the girl, who seemed to ignore me.

I jabbed her in the back with the toe my stiletto, finally getting a response, "Huh? Oh, we sometimes have more fun, although it seems that Brunettes just suck the fun out of everything beforehand though."

I wasn't expecting such a collected answer; she certainly wasn't one of the girls was it? The blonde obviously had an education, while her peers spoke in the same demeanor as their pimp. It seems I've made my decision for tonight; I looked over at the man, nodding my head in confirmation.

~i~

I would like to add that I have no outline, so I'm just pulling this out of thin air. If something is out of place please tell me, I get sidetracked and lose my train of thought at times 3

Oh yeah, Will is a douche, and likes to use a Truncheon. So that will be normal in my stories, gots to have my own version of these characters right? Right. So deal with it.

The hell is the Blonde girl?

Am I just making things up that have nothing to do with the actual plot?

Do I have a plot?

Have I just been BSing you this whole time?

Find out all of this and more in:

"Chapter 3: I could be Sex, Unless you Want to Hold Hands."

(Yes, that was the original name for this chapter; I messed up and typed the wrong name into the First Chapter's preview. Sorry.)

Honulicious Well I'll say it had taken Shego about a Year to completely rule over the major countries of the world. I mean she now has control over the largest organization, and who knows what all the resources Global justice has accumulated over the years.

So Kimmie was in her bed in the beginning? I'll be damned, I didn't know that. (: After reading this update have you changed your mind? Or are you still sticking to it?

I do suppose it would be sad if Kim was a prostitute, I guess we'll have to find out though.

dmnchld1029 Why thank you for the comment yours has to be the most productive one I've gotten to be honest.

I assumed many people would think that Shego was the prostitute being that she is in pretty much every other fanfiction out there, and the fact that 'Hooker' is in the title. /shrugs XD

Why thank you, I wanted her to try and figure out why she had done that, and what her trigger was. Although I don't think she really understands herself at the present moment.

You do have a point, why would she trust the Possibles? Why don't they turn on her?

Let's find in the next few chapters out shall we?

mika lilbit1016 Thank you very much for your Comments, a lot of viewers (from other sites as well) seem to think it's very interesting actually XD