Annette:
"Maryyyyyyy!"
"ANNETTE!"
Mary, my best friend from grade school on, runs up to me practically as soon I get off the plane and gives me a big hug. I shake hands with her parents, and together we all pile into the car. I didn't miss Kansas—New York's broadened my horizons and I don't regret moving there for a second—but oh, Lord, is it good to see Mary again. So much to talk about. We used to sleep over at each other's houses and stay up for hours talking about what our respective Prince Charmings would look like. The men it would be worth it to stay pure for.
When we get to her house and my bags are all unloaded into the guest room, Mary immediately drags me into her room and shuts the door. "I have a lot of news to tell you!"
"Me too. I'm sorry I haven't called much..."
"Oh, don't even worry about it. We all figured you were busy leading the glam life in New York. In an exclusive private prep school, no less. Do they really make you wear those dopey school uniforms?"
"They sure do."
"Well anyway I'm really glad you're here right now, because now that you're here we can stop all those awful rumors about you floating around."
"What rumors?"
"It's that backstabbing bitch Danielle's fault, I just know it. Ever since you left she's been trying to steal Trevor away. You should see the way she hangs on to him like a leech at lunch period."
"What rumors?"
"Well, Danielle says that Trevor told her some reporter from Seventeen called him and said you'd turned into a total slut since moving to New York. That you'd broken your virginity pledge and were dating this notorious player. And I was like, please, you're making that up! That's not Annette!"
I could lie at this point. I could tell her I'm the same Annette she's always known, and she'll believe me, because she loves me, because she is my best friend. But I wasn't raised that way, to lie like that. I take a deep breath.
"Remember how I told you a lot was going on for me in New York? Well, I met this boy. And when I first met him he did have a reputation from the life he led in the past, but I also got to know him really well and discovered that underneath it all, he's this really sweet, compassionate person. And I fell in love with him for that, and he fell in love with me. And yes, we had sex. And no, that doesn't make me a slut."
Mary draws herself up to her full height, which is 5'1", but she's got that steely look in her eyes the pastor of our church gets when he's denouncing hypocrites from the pulpit, and I'm afraid. "You made a promise," she says. "You promised to God. You promised to your parents. And you promised to your future husband. And you broke that promise, and now instead of being repentant, you try to justify it by saying you're in love? You're not in love. You're a hardened sinner."
I thought all this time I was reforming Sebastian. Now I see that I'm the one who's stained. A sinner. I can't even say that Sebastian led me into sin, not really. I used him to give license to my own selfish desires. "Mary—" Please don't let me lose her please don't let me
"What?"
"You've got to believe that I'm not—whatever she's been saying about me. I mean, we fell in love, and I thought—I still really do think he's the one I'm going to marry, and Mary please don't tell me I'm a slut."
"I don't have to tell you anything. That's for God to judge. But if you want my advice, you shouldn't be justifying yourself right now. You should be praying on your knees for forgiveness."
And I actually do get on my knees, but in my heart I know I'm only doing it to be forgiven by her. God feels far away to me, an abstract idea in my mind, a moral principle you should follow, yes, but surely it doesn't compare to the pinky swears and the lanyard bracelets we made for each other and wore until they snapped, and all those sleepovers? And yet at the same time I know there's more to this story. Mary is the youth leader in our town for True Love Waits, the position I shared with her up until I left, and my sexual impurity does not make her look good.
While I'm on my knees with my head down, she leaves the room. I stay in that position for maybe a few minutes, and then my knees get tired and I think, what's the point? and flop myself down onto her bed. When she comes in again it's with her parents.
"Mary told us about what happened," her mother says, "but we'd like to have a chance to hear your side of the story."
Oh God, I can't do this. I'm too tired. "It's as she said."
Her mother nods. Her father says, "We'll drive you to the airport. If you can't get a flight home right away, we'll pay for a hotel. But I don't think you can stay at our house at this time." The look on his face says he thinks he's trying to be kind. That makes it worse, somehow.
After her parents leave, Mary stays standing in the the doorway a moment longer.
"I'll pray for you," she says. I know exactly what those four words mean, because I've used them myself. It's what Christians say to you when they really hate your guts.
A/N: What's the matter with Kansas? lol
Vanessa Davis: wouldn't it be great if they did do a Cruel Intentions 4? Or should I say, a real Cruel Intentions 2? The problem is the original actors are probably too old to reprise teen roles, and I can't think of any other actors young enough who could also fill their shoes...I could see Kristin Stewart doing a decent Annette, but the only other actor I can think of for Sebastian would be Ryan Gosling, who's too old, and I can't think of a single person at all who could convincingly do Kathryn. Your thoughts?